Trust

[Chris]

Trust is the sound of a grave-dog’s bark
Trust is the sound of betrayal in the dark
Trust is the sound of a soul’s last breath
Trust is the sound of death.


Gretchen Addlar, Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah She paced the room with long strides, thin and forced with a nervous, agitated energy. The red silken skirts swished behind in a vain attempt to keep up with their owner, strips of fine material twirling around her as she changed direction. Gretchen counted twelve steps across the length of the room or at least, her subconscious did; she was mostly thinking about the meeting she had just attended with some of the White Tower Aes Sedai.

"Do you not think," Gretchen began to say, her voice higher than expected from a woman of her stature. She broke off before going any further, pausing at last in her pacing to turn only her head to regard the only other occupant of the room.

It was not an expensive room, the carpet thin and the decorative features outdated. A typical Aes Sedai room in that respect, where trends took some time to catch up. It reminded Tania of her childhood home, and the White Tower Aes Sedai sat atop her chaise longue with an almost indolent smile on her face. She was too modern and crisp for an old, outdated, slightly dusty home. But it was her home, and Gretchen tolerated it. She was not in the habit of denying Tania anything she wanted, though she kept such lofty, elevated sentiments to herself as much as possible lest the woman think Gretchen liable to persuasion on important matters as well as trivial.

"Do go on," Tania said. Her voice was low where Gretchen's was high, her tone warm and smooth where Gretchen's was sharp. Her yellow and grey dress was opulent, the curved cut of it complementing the swell of her breasts and the waves of her thighs. The woman was a Yellow at the White Tower before everything that happened, and still considered herself one now.

"Well alright then." Gretchen had her thin hands on her hips, and it was no real struggle to school her features to displeased; they were naturally inclined thus anyway. "Do you not think," she pressed on with more volume than before, "that I am more competent than Dana? It was pure nepotism that earned her the role in charge of this expedition. Were I a White Tower Aes Sedai I would have had more of an opportunity with our peers but instead they decide that docile Dana is the person for the job. You do realise she is one of the youngest Aes Sedai of our group, and has the least experience outside the White Tower? I have travelled the world, Tania. I have seen things Dana has only read about, and I've led teams into the Blight to chase rogue channellers. I've throttled Seanchan sul'dam after their damane were freed. I've infiltrated a castle to remove their chain of command and turn a battle in our favour. Dana has nothing compared to me, and yet we all sat there for three hours and listened to her talking about pure utter nonsense. She is an idiot and a fool and I don't understand why we are letting her sink this ship I have spent too much time and energy on to let go down now. And she wanted me to write the minutes. The nerve!"

Gretchen was far from finished, and she resumed her pacing with the intention of continuing. But Tania slipped in first, smooth and calm. "It was a majority vote for Dana. Do you not believe in the democracy of the decision?"

"No." Gretchen had no pockets to stick her hands it, so her fists remained clenched at her sides. "There were ulterior motives at play, I'm sure of it."

"As am I," Tania said mildly. "But that doesn't change the decision that was made."

"It was the wrong decision."

"Possibly. Which means you should focus on doing your best, and proving that." Gretchen leaned with a hand against the wall, her back to the seated woman. Long fingers tapped against the aged wallpaper. Seeing that the Red had paused, Tania went on, "circumstances being what they are, cannot be changed. We must make do with them as best we can."

"I could do a better job," Gretchen said stoutly to the wall in front of her. "Dana is ruining this mission and we haven't even left yet."

"Could, would, should, it's all speculative," Tania said, adjusting her pillow as she spoke. "It isn't always healthy to consider the alternative ways the Wheel could have spun, Gretchen. We cannot reverse what has happened, only move forwards and steer as best we can."

"But they are wrong, I am right, and how does nobody else see this? Am I missing something important here?" Gretchen turned and resumed her agitated pacing.

"It's hard to say, but you are in the minority here," Tania said, "and that means you are on the back foot as it is."

Gretchen eyed Tania, "did you vote for Dana?"

"I voted for the person I thought best suited to the task," Tania said far too smoothly.

"You know I care little for bandying words in private." Gretchen narrowed her eyes, "we just spent three dreadful hours listening to Dana prattling on about nonsense..."

"Perhaps they voted for Dana because she is new, and she can be taught to see things in a different way." Tania's own expression was a little more pointed now, "you have ideas on how things should be, and when people have different thoughts, they are wrong. This is all relative to your own ideas of 'right' and 'not right'. Perhaps people don't like to be told what to do all the time, especially by an outsider."

An outsider. A Tairen nobody like Gretchen, not even from the correct Tower. As if they had anything to be proud of, with the way their precious Tower had crumbled. The Red felt her teeth clenching together hard, and she forced her jaw to loosen. "Well. I am right. I'm going for a walk."

Tania watched as Gretchen all but stalked out of the door. It was a pattern of hers, to rage at a decision and then leave when her feelings were challenged. Avoidance was normally easier than consulting the feelings head on, but Tania did so prefer for Gretchen to be happy. It was a delicate balancing act and not one the woman always got right, for she was a Healer not a diplomat.

Ah well. Until the woman returned, Tania would just have to drink this wine all by herself. It was a good, hearty Altaran red.