The Grey Tower

Abby Soulane Sitting on her bed, her hands in her lap, and her shoulders tight, Abby wondered where her mother was. She was nearing thirteen years now, and she shouldn't be this frightened when her mother was gone. But, after losing her parents, then finding Torianin after being rescued...it was difficult. She kept her arms straight and still, resisting the urge to clean with every fiber of her being. The girl had tried to read, or even write, but her mind kept drifting back to what was worrying her. The rooms were so quiet without he mother there. But, the more she looked at her belongings, the more she wanted to straighten up. Abby had been in this room for a year now, and her things had filled it up. Her mother enjoyed spoiling her, and she enjoyed paying her mother back as much as possible, but the Aes Sedai was right. When she cleaned, the world around her was gone from her view, and she needed to find something constructive to do...that wasn't cleaning.

Blinking, Abby realized that she had been staring at a piece of clothing sticking out from her dresser for...Light only knew how long. Standing, she turned away from it and moved into the sitting room. Torianin's things were more prominent here, but a few of Abby's things still laid about. The sitting room was clean and neat, but in Abby's troubled mind, it was in disarray. Staying there would not be the best idea. She took in a deep breath and grabbed a book, then left the quarters that she shared with her mother.

After closing and locking the door, she looked up and down the halls and saw no one. Everything was in its place, but what about...

In an effort to ignore the floor boards, Abby walked the halls, going down the stairs. She passed Astoria Sedai on the way down, who gave her a nod, her expression unreadable. Abby nodded and smiled in greeting. The Red Sitter seemed not to like that Abby did not bow to her. Shortly after moving in with her mother, she made sure to let her know that she would need to be polite and respectful to Aes Sedai and Asha'man, but she was not held to the standards of a novice. Holding her book closer to her chest, she kept walking, trying not to let thoughts of the other's anger take up all her thoughts.

Finally, she walked into the Red Ajah's courtyard. Being outside, with the movements of the Grey Tower around her, she felt a tightness in her chest loosen, just a little. As she entered the center of the courtyard, she noticed that she was not alone. She knew Jaryd Kosari by name, but had never exchanged words with him. When she had been adopted, he was the M'hael of the Grey Tower. She did not know the details, but there had been an attack, the Keeper of the Chronicles had died, and now he lived in the Red Ajah's Quarters again. She knew that her mother respected him, and deferred to him.

I should say hello, Abby thought to herself. Somehow, that seemed more difficult than it should have been. Perhaps she should have gone to the Library. She battled with thoughts on whether or not she should say something as she opened her book after sitting on a bench close to his. She did not want to bother him, but she did not want to be rude, either... She wasn't even sure if he knew she was there...

"Good morning...Asha'man Jaryd," Abby said with a smile, looking up from her book. "How are you doing?" She was getting better at starting sentences without stuttering. It wasn't anything that someone had complained about, just something she chose to try to better for herself...and her mother.

The Asha'man's smile, brief and strained as it was, made Abby feel a bit more at ease. Her separation from Torianin was still nerve-wracking, however. The girl smoothed her skirts in a moment of silence. He had answered her question, but did not pose one for her, so she kept quiet. She herself was having a day that wasn't as good as it could be, but wasn't the worst she had had. She blinked once when he asked if she was Torianin's ward. The girl looked up at him and nodded with a small smile. After another small silence, she realized he didn't know her name. "Yes..my name's Abby," she explained.

Then, Jaryd did something that Abby was not expecting. He apologized. Her teachers who were Asha'man and Aes Sedai did not apologize for things they probably should. Abby herself was prone to apologizing for nearly anything. And, he had apologized for not being himself as well. It was difficult for her to remember a time where she was herself without this overwhelming fear of punishment, or of things falling apart. And, it could have been her imagination, but it seemed like Jaryd was...nervous?

"Oh, um...I like it here," the girl answered with a genuine smile. "I really enjoy the Library and taking classes. And, it's much more peaceful in the Red Ajah's Quarters than in Mar siolin'an. I just wish..." As she started this next sentence, her small voice trailed off, and her smile faded. She worked very hard so that her mother knew how grateful she was. Admitting that she had problems was difficult. "I just wish I wasn't so afraid..." Her voice was so small Abby had barely heard the words herself. She knew that there was nothing to fear, but this thick cloud of fear was what had kept her from...everything, it seemed. Sometimes it even took over, and nothing else existed but the fear and the dread of...something.