The Grey Tower

OOC: Continued from The Welcome of Cassie Majere.
Cassie Majere The world around Cassie Majere was one dim blur as she shifted in and out of consciousness. She heard orders shouted, a vaguely familiar voice calling for attention.

She saw a pair of green-gold eyes looking down at her, and a dark pair as well, much older than her beautiful face might look.

The last thing she recalled was shouting at a bloody Seanchan noble, shaking her profusely in front of the Mistress of Novices … and then collapsing after she had been cut off from bliss.

And then Cassie slipped into the black, consumed by fever and exhaustion.

And she dreamed … of her brother in a silver chain, of a fox and a mouse surrounded on all fronts by a horde of crows, of a beautiful woman mired in shadows but still shining.

The dreams were chaotic, and all too real.

And then she saw a young woman, gorgeous beyond belief, with gold-green eyes — the same eyes as the man who had led her resecue from the Whitecloaks — and hair as fiery as her own. She approached in simple clothing suited for a hunter, greens and browns, with an almost knowing look. She leaned down over Cassie, kissed her forehead and whispered, “You are safe, dear sweet child. Rest now.”

Cassie’s eyes fluttered open, the world still in a haze. She saw briefly a circle of people around her, led by the man with the gold-green eyes. She felt … everything as if she purged of something.

She flittered back into darkness before her eyes opened again. She saw the same man with the gold-green eyes, as if he was arguing with someone.

“… she is to stay here until fully recovered … and no signs of fever …”

She fell back into deep slumber, dreamless this time. When her eyes fluttered open again, she saw an angelic figure, her sun-gold hair brilliant in her dim vision, those emerald eyes bearing down on her. “ … bloody flaming ashes better recover …” She was a Gaidin, Sebrina Calin … the woman’s lips brushed her own …

Again the darkness consumed her … and she saw the young woman again, the one with the gold-green eyes and hair of fire. She smiled as she watched in a white room filled with a suffused glow.

“Am I … “ Cassie couldn’t finish the words on her lips.

“No, sweet child,” the woman murmured assuredly. “The worst has passed, and now you only Dream.”

Cassie wold have risen, but the woman was beside her with an uncanny speed. Her hand kept the young Majere from rising. The red-haired woman smiled, her full lips a thing of envy.

“Who is the person who trust most, outside the one who captures your heart,” the woman asked.

“My uncle,” Cassie answered almost on instinct. “Uncle Sojin, for he … “

The woman shushed her with a finger to Cassie’s lips. “We trust our fathers … and our uncles. Trust him as you would any other for he will be the best man you ever know. In your life, he will be the constant anchor, other than the person you take to bed and love, or the man or woman you bond.”

In her state, Cassie could only question what the other woman meant and she only managed the question … “Who …”

“I was you, or rather like you,” the red-haired woman answered. “Like you, my father was the best man I ever knew, for whatever short a period … and I died. But you — you will live because you will be protected and grow strong.”

Before Cassie could speak she was shushed again, an annoying habit she apparently had little control over.

“No questions … just remember to breathe when the time comes, when you find out the truth,” the other woman said. Without another word, the woman walked away, vanishing into the aether.

The light around her, a soft suffused glow, dimmed as she was pulled from the world and back into the deep void of unconsciousness.

****

Cassie’s eyes fluttered open and nearly shut again at the strength of the light in the white sterile room she was in. Light, but could whoever managed this place at least dress it up a little?

Her head ached slightly, as if she had suffered through one long night of drinking with her father’s house guards. That had occurred once, on her sixteenth name day, and Light, she did not repeat that feeling again.

She felt a hand on her forehead, followed by a chilled feeling that made her gasp in surprise. She looked up and saw a youthful man … the same man with the gold-green eyes … one who on occasion haunted her dreams. The man who had the same gold-green eyes as the young woman in her dream.

His face was dispassionate, but there was a spark of concern in those strange eyes.

“What …” She was silenced with a look.

“You were laid out for nearly two days, Novice,” the man said. “You are fortunate that the Mistress of Novices shielded you when she did or you would have burned yourself out … or worse, harmed others. Unfortunately, you succumbed to a fever all Wilders are prone to when they first channel, and it was a blessing even with the Healers present that you still live.”

“What … my uncle …”

“… is well, alive and recovering and will see you as time permits,” the man said. “For now, you will rest and food will be brought to you.”

The mention of food brought a rumble to Cassie’s stomach and a strong hunger to devour anything dead and edible in her reach. Unfortunately, it wasn’t available.

“Who are you?” she asked after a moment, perhaps on the verge of being disrespectful.

“Jerid Asha’man, of the Indigo Ajah,” the man murmured. “You will rest now and eat.”

He turned then, and stopped briefly next to a woman. It was the first time Cassie was aware of a second person in the room. The Mistress of Novices.

“The forkroot I placed in her tea while she was asleep will last for two more hours, but I doubt it will be needed after,” the Asha’man said. “She is your charge now. Given how strong she is … or will be, I trust you will keep her in check and guide her accordingly. Given all I’ve seen of her, she’ll make a fine champion of justice one day.”

Cassie was still a little groggy to fully wrap her head around the meaning of the Asha’man’s words, but he soon left and she found herself alone with the Mistress of Novices. And of course, the memory of her last flaming action came flooding back.

"Oh flaming blood and ashes," Cassie muttered.

Mirin wanted to pace the room, but she stayed still and calm as befitted her station. Her eyes jumped between the Indigo Asha'man to her newest novice lying in bed. She was worried, yet her face remained smooth. When Jerid finally left, she approached the bed.

"Watch your tongue," she said. "You are here to learn how to behave yourself like an Aes Sedai. The next time you speak thoughtlessly, it will not be so pleasant for you. Now, let us talk about what happened."

She tapped her lip thoughtfully, then continued. "I am not angry at you for striking Ellessya. However, I am concerned about your lack of restraint, both physically and with the Power. Did you feel that warmth when you were angry? Yes, I thought so. That was saidar. You were channeling, Cassie. You must not do so again without control."

"There are two options here. The first is that you can try your very hardest to control yourself so that you will not channel by accident ever again. The second is that I douse you daily with forkroot tea so that you cannot channel except very weakly. A far less pleasant option, because forkroot tea is also a sedative. It may make you drowsy or cause headaches. But I will do whatever I think will keep you safe. Do you see my dilemma, Cassie? If I fail to protect you and you lose your temper again and channel - then you may pay with your life. But if I use forkroot, then you may suffer undesirable side effects."

Mirin crossed her arms. Her pale eyes glittered coldly as she stared at the novice.

"Self-control may very well be the first lesson you learn, child. Now, convince me that you have learned your lesson and that you do not need forkroot."

Cassie watched as the woman came close to her, noting the grace and style with which she walked. The woman was the quintessential Cairhienin woman, much like her mother.

Very much unlike Cassie herself. So when she was told to watch her tongue — something her mother often cautioned lest she land in a world of trouble — she nearly did the exact opposite, despite the promise of punishment.

Only, her mouth clicked shut at the orders of the Aes Sedai. Whatever else Cassie might have been, she was the daughter of a Tar Valon lord, who served as a Guard Captain of the legendary Tower Guard.

No matter the Tower, an Aes Sedai deserved respect, something Kera Sedai of the Red Ajah imparted on her when she was but a toddler.

So instead, she listened, her amethyst eyes glittering as she contemplated every word, and she shuddered at the mention of forkroot. She knew barely enough herblore that even on one’s worst day, it was something be avoided. It derived people of common sense, was a sedative as Mirin Sedai said, and worse, could make one … pliable.

The events of the past near month and a half came crashing down on her and she shuddered despite herself. A knock sounded on the door, followed by a servant entering with a platter laden with food. While the scents made her stomach growl, Cassie was more focused on the choice Mirin Sedai placed before her.

And the fear that it caused. Cassie Majere was ruled by her passions, of that there was no doubt, but if those passions caused her to channel uncontrollably, then what was the point of her having this blasted ability some called a gift?

In her contemplation, she nodded her thanks to the servant, a cute lad perhaps three years her junior. In any other place, she would have given the lad a note to sneak a sweet or two from the kitchens as thanks.

But her mind was wrapped around two possibilities: she could either go about her days an effective zombie, drowsy and filled with headaches or learn to refine herself, something that even on her best day was difficult at best.

So she found herself meeting the Aes Sedai’s cold gaze with a fiery nature. But as she sat up, quite a difficult feat given her still aching head and hunger, her body gained a form of composure her mother would be proud to see. All her lessons, those from Kera Sedai, from her tutors and from her uncle Sojin came flooding into her.

“I am Cassandrya Majere, first of her name, daughter of Solin Majere, High Seat to House Majere and Guard Captain of Tar Valon’s Tower Guard, blood of old Caralain, and granddaughter to the Fox of Ebou Dar, the true lord of House Walker, who is defender of the Caralain in the Lion Throne’s name,” she said fluently. “I am the daughter of Liessa Tamodred, the daughter of the High Seat of House Tamodred of Cairhien, true defender of the Light and loyal servant of the True Dragon Reborn.”

Her poise was only ruined by the grumblings of her belly, which she ignored. Granted the last part, she only knew through her uncle, and even then did not know who her grandfather was or looked like, but there was an undercurrent of pride when she spoke.

“I am a Novice of this Tower and Light help me should the day come when someone attempts to slip forkroot into my tea, they will be kindly showed the door to the Infirmary with burn marks.”

Perhaps for the first time in ages, she spoke more like a woman raised in the court at Cairhien than the wild daughter of a Tar Valon lord. Whether it was due to her mother’s mostly failed attempts or Kera Sedai’s guidance, she didn’t know.

Deep down, anger was struggling to get through, and it sought to dominate the words she spoke, to let her tongue roam free and speak coarsely. That seductive light she knew now to be the One Power called to her, to embrace and let it fill her.

Cassie ignored it.

“My heart rules my life, Aes Sedai,” she murmured respectfully. “But I will not be controlled like some … leashed damanae. Nor will I simper, bat my eyelids or pretend to be dumb, or watch the men of the Yards spar. The world runs over those type of women and I will not be one of them. I am here because my brother and I fled toward the Caralain and House Walker, and House Walker keeps counsel with the Grey Tower, not Tar Valon. What is done cannot be undone, so if I must learn to at least control my desires and impulses, so be it.”

Mirin hissed through her teeth. "You are a novice of the Tower," she snapped. "End of story. While pride in your heritage is all very good, the Tower comes first. Always. You are just like any other girl in whites, whether they be noble born or otherwise. You will jump when a sister says 'frog'. You will jump when an Accepted says 'frog'. If I hear mention of your House from any of your new classmates, then I will have you switched. I don't want you intimidating any of the other girls, understand?"

She glared at the novice until she nodded. Even then, her face did not relax. Her mouth remained pressed together in a strict, firm line.

"As for the rest about your channelling, I am glad you see the wisdom of restraint. We can go without forkroot. But I am no fool, Cassandrya Majere. If you don't fit your actions to your words, then I will dose you daily. And it will take quite an extraordinary effort to change my mind back once it is fixed."

Mirin went to the door and paused there, looking back at Cassie.

"Rest and recover. Your classes will begin in two days."

Something in Cassie Majere wanted to snap at the Aes Sedai’s tone, and her back stiffened as she met that dark gaze. Her amethyst eyes sparked defiantly, with a stubborn streak a mile wide.

Growing up she was known for doing things her way, even down to the pranks she played on her other siblings. Most of all on Coren. And his mild-mannered smith of a brother would often be the unwilling participant in one of her schemes, must to their mother’s disapproval.

So when someone told her to not do something, she would smile politely and ensure that person would see her go on do that exact thing.

Cassie nearly opened her and let the words fly off her tongue, but she silenced herself. Even on her worst day, Cassandrya Majere could not find herself to disrespect an Aes Sedai.

“As you say, Mirin Sedai, so shall it be,” she said quietly, lowering her eyes. This was one woman Cassie knew better than to upset.

She heard the door open, but didn’t look up. The smell of food made her stomach rumble, but suddenly the events over the last month came crashing down on her.

The death of her father’s man, hers’ and her brother’s flight through the Caralain, nearly watching her own brother being killed by a Whitecloak who was chasing them ... the fever, channeling, and the pursuit by the Whitecloaks all the way to these walls.

The Whitecloak, no older than her or her brother, with dull, almost soulless eyes as he turned, bloodied sword in hand, standing over an injured Coren. Those eyes which widened in surprise as she plunged the knife into a gap in his armor and asked why he had to die when she slashed his throat. Those eyes that haunted some of her dreams.

She didn’t hear the door close, didn’t pay attention to the food enticing her to eat. Instead, she wept for perhaps the first time in a very long time at everything that transpired.

Mirin had taken only a few steps - and the door had not yet shut behind her - when she heard the unmistakable sound of a girl weeping. She put a hand to her forehead and sighed. Then she spun on her heel and swept back into the room. Cassie turned away, hiding her face.

The Aes Sedai moved to sit at the edge of the bed. She gently took the girl's hand.

"Crying is no weakness, child," she said, softly. With a white handkerchief, she dabbed gently at Cassie's tears, and then handed the cloth to her.

"Life as a novice is hard, and the first day is the hardest of all. You have been through much in the last few weeks. My role is not only to enforce discipline, but also to support you in your journey here at the Tower. If you ever need anything, I am always here for you."

She smiled kindly. "Even if for just a good cry."

In all her life, Cassie Majere only ever weeped on one of two occasions: the deaths or potential loss of loved ones, or outright despair.

She didn’t know what this was. It was something new, mixed in with the other two. She would not know when she might see her twin again, whether her uncle would actually send for Coren … whether she would ever see her father and oldest brother, or her mother or younger siblings.

She could care less if she saw Tar Valon. Yes, it was home, but only so far as it was where her family was located.

All those thoughts weighed heavy on her heart, but it was those eyes ….

… she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt the Aes Sedai grab her hand. It was firm and she dared not react too violently.

The Mistress of Novices’ words washed over Cassie, but they had little effect on her initially. She took the offered cloth, but it did no good.

The tears kept coming as Cassie shook.

“Life of a Novice … it’s …” Her amethyst eyes flashed as her mind drifted back all those weeks ago. Once more, she was standing in front of the Whitecloak. Those eyes …

“…he taught us well, Master Copper,” she whispered, more to herself than the Aes Sedai. “A knife in the lung will bring down the biggest of men, a swift kick … never the throat … not if you didn’t mean to kill … but he was trying to kill my brother …“

The boy was going to kill his brother, or worse, take him away from her. But was it necessary? Was it right?

“I tried to save him …” she whispered. She could still feel the blood on her hands as she tried to stop the blood … but the boy was already dead. She could hear more Whitecloaks coming. She dragged Coren as far as she could, found an empty building …

“… he’s there, every night, those eyes,” she murmured. She shuddered involuntarily. “And when he’s not, the other one is, the one with the gold-green eyes. The Asha’man, half in light, half in shadow, a knife in hand. Something chases and he attacks. Or the woman with the silver leash around my brother after he crafts it …”

She cradled the new novice in her arms and made soothing nonsensical noises. Girls came to Hama Valon from many different circumstances. Some traveled in relative luxury and had safe escorts. Others met more difficulty. It seemed that Cassie was in the latter category and had one of the most horrifying stories that Mirin had ever heard.

To protect herself and her brother, Cassie had killed a man. She was clearly traumatized. Mirin wondered if she should call a Yellow to speak with the girl. The dreams concerned her. Were they nightmares... or something more? Mirin did not know.

"We can protect your dreams," said Mirin. "I will ask an Accepted to set them up for you at night. Rest now. And please, come tell me if anything... more unusual happens."
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((OOC:I assume that this continues on in We All Fall Down. Apologies for the late and short reply, hopefully this post leads well into that thread.))