The Grey Tower

OOC: Follows on from Bad Girls.

The door stared Casey down.

Dark wood gleamed with a rich mahogany colour that waited to be knocked on. The handle invited her to grasp and twist to let herself inside. Yet Casey couldn’t bring herself to move. She had gotten as far as the outer threshold of the Mistress of Novices’ office before her courage had deserted her.

Mirin Sedai is tough, Avyra had warned her. Mirin Sedai is strict. Mirin probably ate scared little mouse girls for breakfast. What was Casey even doing here? Why had she ever thought she could outsmart Aes Sedai?

Lia, that was why. Her wild sister who needed her more desperately than she would ever admit. Her stolen treasure.

You want to go in hard? Rylan would say, leaning casually beside the door. Slam open the door and storm in there like you own the place? Might make an impression. People talk when they get rattled.

Casey almost rolled her eyes. Rylan was always testing her, suggesting the most reckless option to see if Casey took the bait. That’s stupid. She can light me on fire. I’m not going to slam anything.

Do you ever have any fun?

Casey knocked on the door. Twice. She waited for the summons, then turned the handle and with thumping heart let herself into the Mistress of Novices’ office.

Her first step took her into a spacious room with wallpaper of dark blue above rich wooden panelling. A trio of windows looked out over spectacular gardens, and shelves of books filled one whole wall. Casey could hardly drag her eyes away from all those books; to her eyes, it was a display of wealth every bit as extravagant as wearing jewels. Then she laid eyes on the woman behind the desk, and her heart stuttered painfully against her ribs.

It was the first time Casey had ever come face to face with a real Aes Sedai. Just seeing this black-haired woman hit Casey with an instant shock, the same shock she had felt when she had first met the leader of the Masks—the realisation that she was in the presence of real power, real authority.

She ran the possibilities in a split second.

Bruising experience had taught her that if she wasn’t respectful enough, a strong opponent would immediately punish her to demonstrate their power. She had gotten that reaction from Rylan before and it had scared her stupid—a sudden explosion of violence that had put her in the dirt. If she spoke out of turn here, she could end up injured or worse. And those chairs looked like traps to her. That was why they were positioned so invitingly, just where she could slip into them and relax. They were a test, and if she failed, she got the bruises again.

Yet showing too much fear also invited punishment. Just like those high-level Masks who wouldn’t hesitate to backhand her just to make a point. And that was a way bigger problem because Casey already prickled with terror.

Rylan had told her gruesome stories about what Aes Sedai did to people like her. Casey swallowed, her throat dry, not daring to even think about what might have happened to her little sister here. She dipped a curtsey, trying not to let her voice shake. “Mistress Mirin Sedai.” That was how Avyra had referred to her, right? They had laughed when Casey had addressed them as lord and lady. “Forgive me, I hope I didn’t interrupt. I just…” Casey had never felt so painfully out of her depth. She had to force out words. “I’d… I’d like to be tested for the Power.”

Two timid knocks sounded on her door. Mirin set down her pen and picked up her blotter.

"Come in," she called.

A mousy girl dressed in plain garb entered her office. Dark curls framed a young face and grey-green eyes scanned her office with trepidation. Ah, an aspiring novice. Mirin smiled kindly at the girl. Few of the girls who came to see her had the ability. Even fewer had the spark and could be identified without a test. She could not sense the connection of saidar in the girl, but that did not mean that she could not learn.

"You did not interrupt, child. Please call me Mirin Sedai," she said. "Sit and tell me where you're from."

Mirin listened to the girl as she dabbed delicately at the ink on the page. Casey Frey of Tear was a servant sent here by her mistress. She was the type of girl who would need to be sent off with a small bag of coin if she could not channel, or perhaps she would find work here at the Tower. Mirin folded her paper and placed it to the side. Then she brought out a half-burnt candle.

"Very well, Casey. Now for the test."

The girl spoke quietly. "Will it hurt?"

"No," said Mirin. She opened herself to the Power and wove flows of Fire and Air. A small flame appeared at the wick of the candle. "All you have to do is look into the candle," she said. Her voice softened. Every few seconds, she fed another thread of Fire into the flame, causing it to pulsate.

Slowly... pulse... slowly... she watched Casey with sharp eyes. The girl seemed nervous and kept glancing up at her. Mirin's lips thinned.

"Focus on the candle!" she snapped. Casey ducked her head and stared back at the candle. Long minutes passed. Then suddenly a thin red thread of saidar flickered from Casey and touched the candle. It sputtered and went out. Mirin smiled, her grey eyes gleaming with pleasure.

"Congratulations, Casey. You can channel."

No bruises. So far. Casey dared to slip into one of the two chairs facing Mirin Sedai across the desk. These chairs were just as comfy as they looked, with soft blue cushions embroidered with silver; Casey could just unlace her boots and slip them off and curl up barefoot. But she didn’t. She sat with her hands clasped in her lap where they couldn’t shake, and cleared her throat so her voice wouldn’t either. “I’m Casey Frey, Mirin Sedai. From Tear. I’m just a servant. My mistress sent me here to become a novice, if it please you, and if I pass the test.”

Mirin Sedai blotted the ink where she’d been writing earlier—she had pale, delicate hands, not like Casey; even her writing was pretty—then laid the paper aside. The paper looked expensive, the kind Casey would drag her fingertips across just to feel its velvet texture. So this was how Aes Sedai lived: in beautiful dresses, writing elegant letters, surrounded by shelves upon shelves of books, with windows of bright glass looking down on gardens a girl could wander in forever. It must be nice.

The deep silence made Casey want to fidget. She might possibly have tapped her toe under the desk, where nobody could see.

Mirin Sedai brought out half a candle. It was pure white wax, not the cheap tallow used in the slums. Drips ran down the sides where the wax had melted and then hardened.

Was this the test? “Will it hurt?” Casey had been tested before—for intelligence, for swiftness, for nerve—and it had always been painful. She could get her fingers burned here, perhaps literally.

“No,” said Mirin Sedai, and Casey did not believe her one bit.

The candle lit itself. Casey jumped at least an inch before she could get a grip on herself, her heart beating even faster. She had never seen anyone channel before.

All you have to do is look into the candle.

Her panic rose again, which didn’t even make sense. There was nothing special about her, nothing extraordinary. She would never pass this test. That was just a fact. Yet it felt like a million spiders crawled all over her.

Casey forced herself to look into the candle.

The flame burned, a single point of brightness that stole all the distant sunlight, leaving the rest of the office dark. It pulsed in a way that was strangely mesmerising.

Nothing happened. Just the surge and fall of the flame.

Casey blinked, breaking the spell. Her eyes stung. She sneaked a glance at Mirin Sedai, then another. Was the test over yet? Had she failed? Because now would be the perfect time to drop in a sly question about any novices who might have joined recently from Tear, who had perfect dark curls and a spectacular temper and a smile that melted hearts, just like when she’d been a tiny baby in a crib and would grab Casey’s fingers—

“Focus on the candle!” Mirin Sedai snapped.

Casey flinched back to the candle, her hands twisting in her lap. The flame still burned, fierce and endless. The innermost part of the flame seared white. No. Blue.

It kept flickering. Something inside her flickered too.

And the whole world turned strange—like she was teetering on the brink of something impossible, like a layer of clear glass had formed between her and everything else, and one sharp tap would shatter everything.

The candle sputtered out. And Mirin Sedai smiled.

“Congratulations, Casey. You can channel.”

*

When Casey was fourteen and the newest Mask in Tear, she spent an evening lying on a tiled rooftop, keeping watch for rival enforcers in the crooked street below, just glimpsed through the tiny gap where the roofs didn’t quite meet. Then it started to rain. Then rain harder. Great surges of it swept across her, seeping icy down the back of her neck, drenching her coat and breeches, making the roof slippery and treacherous.

Her position suddenly felt precarious. She shifted just an inch, spreading her weight a little further, reaching out to get a better grip—and started to slide.

The tiles had turned slick. Her wet clothing slipped across them, caught, then tore free. Her fall picked up speed. She lunged for anything to catch herself, but her wet hands slipped free. She grabbed at the tiles, dislodging them, her nails ripping, her fingertips tearing as she clawed desperately. Then the last edge of the roof sliced through her grip and she tumbled helplessly, the whole world a blur of terror—

*

Congratulations, Casey. You can channel.

The chair toppled to the floor in a clatter. Casey had jumped up so fast it had gone straight over. “No. No.” Her hand had gone to her heart, which beat wildly under her palm. Her muscles seized up with sudden terror. The rain was coming down on her just like before, and the tiles had started to slip and slide under her desperate grip. The drop below looked dizzying.

Casey clawed for anything to grab onto, anything to slow her slide. “No. Mirin Sedai. This must be a mistake. I can’t channel. I’m not like you. I’m not… I’m not…” The edge of the roof was coming up, and when she went over the whole world would just drop out from under her. “The candle is wrong. Test me again. Please. I’ll definitely fail. Then… then…”

Then what? She didn’t know. She only knew that this absolutely had to be a mistake.

Last time she’d fallen, it had taken weeks for all the bones to heal.

This time, the drop would surely kill her.

"The candle is not wrong," Mirin said flatly. Threads of Air intertwined to straighten the chair behind Casey.

"Sit and listen. There is something you should know. Some girls have what we call 'the spark'. These girls will channel whether they want to or not. Others, though they can learn to channel, may go their entire lives without knowing they have the ability unless they're tested. You are of the latter category. In other words, you have a choice."

Mirin stood. She was not a tall woman, but she held herself with confidence and grace. Blue silk swished across the floor as she walked to the bookshelf and lifted a large ledger. She turned and showed Casey the list of names written on the page.

"Once you sign the Novice Book, then you are tied to the Tower until we let you go. If you decide to leave today without signing the book, then you may always choose to return for training. But if you ever begin to have headaches or fevers or chills, you must return immediately. The One Power is dangerous, Casey. It can kill you if you are not trained. It is for your own sake that I ask you to return if you notice any of those symptoms."

She hoped that the girl would choose to stay. Every channeler who joined the Tower added to its strength. Yet the Tower only forced girls to stay if they could not control their channeling. Unwilling students made poor learners. Mirin did not have the time to be chasing runaways unless they posed a danger to others.

"What do you think? Stay and learn, or return to your life outside of the Tower. The choice is yours."

The chair set itself upright. Casey twitched again.

She couldn’t bring herself to sit under this woman’s cool gaze; it felt too much like being cornered. The tall windows called to her instead, a glimpse of freedom. She turned blindly and leaned her shoulder into the wooden frame, pressing her palm against the cool glass. Maybe if she wished hard enough she could escape into the fresh air. And run all the way home to where everything still made sense.

The candle is not wrong.

A shudder slipped through her, her palm pressing harder against the glass. Her whole body crawled. It was impossible—unimaginable—that a nobody girl from the teeming slums could ever channel.

Lia had always been different. Maybe the storms and the sea had gotten into her as a child, made her wild, made her powerful. But Casey? She was the mouse who crept around. Her only skill was lying to people. Taking this test had only been an excuse to get inside the Tower. She had never imagined a future for herself other than poverty.

What if she really could channel?

It was a forbidden thought, a tiny flicker to be cupped in her hands, like that candle flame. What if she really was special and she’d just never known? What if she really could become Aes Sedai? A walking abomination, a forbidden thing. Everyone would be afraid of her then, not the other way around. Nobody would dare to touch her sisters ever again.

Slowly, Casey crept back. She slipped into her chair again, and took the book Mirin Sedai offered her.

It lay heavy in her hands, weighed down with possibilities. The paper felt thick and rich, the binding leather. And the names written there didn’t always look so different to her own. Some were noble names, some were foreign. Many were just ordinary. Like hers. Hers was just a little name. It wouldn’t take up much room, if she wrote it very small—

In her stunned daze, it took Casey that long to realise she was holding an actual written list of novices who had recently joined the Tower.

Her grip tightened on the book. And the only name that mattered leaped straight off the page at her. Lia Marcos. In her little sister’s scribble. The letters had dug deep into the soft paper, as if Lia had been gritting her teeth as they made her sign.

Casey’s heart leapt into flight. Lia was right here—not willingly, that was for sure, but here. And if Casey played her cards right, she could steal Lia back. Right now. Maybe she could rescue Lia tonight? Maybe they could steal out of Hama Valon before it even got dark. Beckan would be ecstatic, and Stacia would probably cry. That made Casey blink several times and clear her throat.

This felt familiar. Like she was at the edge of that roof again, and that huge drop yawned below her. The fall would break bones or worse.

Casey jumped.

“Forgive me, Mirin Sedai. I spoke out of turn. It’s just that where I come from, channelling is forbidden. And the thought that I… that I…”—Casey still couldn’t say it—“well, it wouldn’t be looked kindly on. But I think I’d like to become a novice.” Just for today. Until she found her sister and left before they ever realised their stupid candle was wrong. “I think it would be really helpful if I could talk to someone else from Tear. They could help me understand that it’s not so scary. Are there any other novices from Tear? Maybe someone new, so it’s fresh in their mind?” Casey crossed her fingers under the desk, a little desperately.

She was about to win big, or fall hard.

"There is nothing to forgive," said Mirin. Something about Casey's requests seemed oddly specific. Young, new, and freshly from Tear... She glanced again at Casey's face and examined her features closely. Mousy brown hair and sea-green eyes. A rather plain girl, but she somehow seemed vaguely familiar. The Blue sister's lips curved into a kind smile even as her eyes glittered coldly.

"It would be unwise of me to pair you with someone new," she said. "Usually you are paired with someone more experienced so that you would have someone to answer your questions. One of the Accepted would make an excellent mentor. Are you sure, Casey? You can always think on it and come back later. Life as a novice is not easy. You will be expected to try your hardest. You will be expected to learn, and to learn quickly and well. And you will not leave until the Tower lets you go. Am I clear?"

She took the Novice Book and flattened it against her desk. Then she dipped a pen in ink. "If you are certain, then please sign here. Do you have any other questions?"

Blood and ashes. Casey cursed whatever part of Tower life she didn’t understand well enough to get Mirin to give her what she wanted. It would have been so much simpler if Mirin had just brought her straight to Lia. But she bit back any further comment. If she became a novice, she would have plenty of opportunity to track down her sister herself. Better that than getting caught.

She was going to try her hardest all right. She was going to learn. Quickly and well. Just not to become an Aes Sedai.

Every infiltration Casey had ever done back in Tear—every lie she had told, every name she had taken ever since bringing down the Tiger Sharks—had only been practice for this. And with the alarmingly crisp Mirin around, she would have to step up her game.

Because she needed to get out of here with Lia long before anyone suspected she was anything more than a meek servant.

“I understand, Mirin Sedai,” Casey said in her most humble voice. “My mistress ordered me to serve as a novice, if I could, and I mustn’t disobey her. It’s a great honour to be chosen. And I’m used to hard work. I can fetch and carry, I can sweep and clean. I can copy letters, sort of. I won’t let you down, I swear.”

She reached for the ink pen. Her hand had a slight, unplanned tremble.

That betraying tremor brought it all home. Hard. She was about to sign a false name to join an army of witches under a cover identity. If they caught her they would punish her severely, maybe even torture her. The office closed in on her and she had to swallow hard. Every part of her wanted to flee—just fling open those tall windows and bolt out into the gardens.

Go ahead, Rylan would say with that mocking little smile. Run. You have too many sisters anyway.

Casey took the pen. Smoothed the velvet paper. And scribbled her name in the barely legible hand of a servant whose mistress had only reluctantly taught her letters. There was no hitch in her signature, nothing to suggest that it wasn’t real. She had practised.

She handed the pen back. “No questions, Mirin Sedai.” She would save all her escape-related questions for someone less likely to catch her out. “Actually…” Realisation hit her somewhat late, and her heart sank. “Are there, um… fees? To study here?” Why under the Light hadn’t she thought of that before she signed? How could she possibly afford to study to become an Aes Sedai even for one day?

"No fees," said Mirin, gently. The Tower had more than enough funds for its students. Even if every single student paid a hundred marks for their study, the amount would hardly make up a percentage of the amount of money that flowed to through the Tower coffers in a single day.

She told Casey to go behind the screen in the corner of her office and try on different sizes of white novice dresses. Then, after the new novice came out with a new dress and a few extra changes, she collected the girl's personal belongings and sealed them in a labeled box. It would be locked in vault and be returned if Casey reached the Shawl - or if she was turned out of the Tower. Mirin handed her a slip of paper with a room number.

"Your room is upstairs, on the third floor," she said. "You will be rooming with another novice. If you have any problems, please come talk to me. My office door is always open to you."

A rare, genuine smile crossed her face as she remembered another girl long ago running down these very halls, fleeing from a roommate who had been less than pleasant. Somehow, the unlikely pair had become best of friends and pulled the most marvelous pranks, including trimming the plants in the entire Tower gardens into the shapes of looming Trollocs! Though the two girls had long since separated, each joining their respective Ajahs, the memories had not faded. She wondered idly how Betrys Sedai fared these days. The years have passed too quickly, she thought.

She watched her newest student walk timidly out the door. Then she looked down at the Novice Book.

Casey Frey.

Her eyes swept to another name written in the book. Then she grimaced. Well, the girl was about to be sorely disappointed, thought Mirin. The Tower received many people who wanted things - money, knowledge, power, a home - and this girl was no different. But few found exactly what they wanted, for the Tower only gave what they needed, which was not necessarily the same thing.

She closed the book with a heavy thud and replaced it on her shelf. Only time would tell if Casey Frey would find her heart's desire.

OOC: That's a wrap! Thanks a ton! <3

Casey truly did not understand this strange new world. Back at home, she’d barely been able to buy new shoes for her little sisters without having to pay a bribe to the cobblers’ guild. Nobody worked for free. Yet the Tower offered to house her, feed her, teach her—all for nothing? Just because the candle had stuttered out?

Maybe she was just missing the subtext. Maybe they would ask for something worse than money. Something she couldn’t even imagine right now. And the demand wouldn’t come until she had no choice but to agree.

Casey had to get out of here with her sister right away. Today, if possible. Before she found out just how far she was in over her head.

Her heart sank when Mirin ordered her behind the screen to try on white dresses. Not because she objected to the uniform—on the contrary, it would help her pass unnoticed. And not because, as she discovered behind the screen, all the dresses seemed to have been made for slim girls with flat stomachs and tiny thighs. It was because of the little dagger tucked into her boot. She had to slip off her boots along with all her other clothes to give to Mirin, and there was no way she could hide the dagger under a novice dress, not without time to plan. She just bundled the dagger up in her old dress and handed it over with an inner sigh. Now she was unarmed and anybody could murder her any time they felt like.

“Another novice?” That escaped as a squeak. Casey had been imagining slipping out of her room at all hours to prowl unnoticed. A sharp-eyed roommate would put paid to that. Not to mention the risk that her roommate might, say, cut her throat in her sleep. And Casey no longer had her dagger. “I mean, uh… that’s fantastic, Mirin Sedai. I always wanted to make friends with other girls.”

The look Mirin Sedai gave her made it quite clear she was fooling nobody at this point. Discretion was clearly the better part of valour. Clutching the stack of white dresses, Casey made her excuses and tiptoed out. Once she shut the door behind her, very gently, she took a moment to breathe deep. That had been a very narrow escape. And Mirin had only been the first of many enemies she would have to face.

She needed to get a grip on this roommate situation immediately. Then go get her sister back.

And finally, make the Aes Sedai sorry they had ever stolen her.