From Soldier to Servant (Attn: Bella)

[Cat]

Tristram

What was fun to talk about anyway? Girls? Guys? Who’d kissed who? That seemed to be the gist of it for a lot of Novices and Soldiers he encountered. ‘Tee-hee hee! I saw Jon and Dany kissing behind the tree!’ Sometimes it made him feel so old. But Tristram couldn’t exactly say what he found fun to talk about. Whatever people found fun, he supposed. Sometimes it was easier just to be what they wanted. You had their full attention, then.

He started scrubbing again, managing to get more soap on him than on the floor, before he turned his attention back to her.

“I’m jealous. I always wanted to travel when I was younger. Tried to run away with some merchants once. Well, I tried to pay them to take me along with them. I got as far as the next village before my father found out and dragged me back. Couldn’t sit for a week after.”

[Bella]

Andra listened, glad that there were at least some words passing between them again to help pass the time. They had established very clear boundaries now on what not to talk about, so they could fumble their way through other topics deemed "safer" by the both of them and that wouldn't lead to frost forming in the newly scrubbed hallway.

"I didn't travel much as a child myself," she said. "I didn't really leave Kandor until I was a teenager. My family tended to remain in the country to handle their wares and if they had much traveling to do, any of my older brothers were considered suitable."

And yet there it was. To continue the story would skirt the topics to be avoided. She would dance carefully. "Then I married and we chose to become traveling merchants." That was enough, right? "It was then that I spent much time traveling, and we went to many places in the Westlands over the years we were working the routes."

[Cat]

Tristram

There were a lot of things that Tristram would have liked to have done as a child, but some of them he wasn’t even willing to admit to himself. His childhood had involved a lot a pressure and a lot of expectations. He hadn’t wanted for anything, but sometimes he felt like his freedom and his own choices had been pushed away. A merchant’s life was much, much easier, and he was almost envious.

He sat back on his heels once more, abandoning the brush for what had to be the twentieth time. He could speak about his family, or, rather, their past, but not what had happened in recent times. He didn’t want to deal with the sympathy it usually conjured, for one, and he wanted to be so much more than the man who had lost his wife and two children in one fell swoop.

“My wife wasn’t so keen on travelling,” he said with a grin. “I think she would have divorced me had I decided to take a tour of the Westlands, but maybe it’s something I’ll get to do in the future. I haven’t been to nearly enough places, and, well, with Travelling...”

[Bella]

Andraste didn't ask...but she gathered that the loss he referred to was similar to her own; that they shared the loss of a spouse.

"Traveling must be an amazing thing to be able to do," she agreed lightly. "I haven't even come close to learning how to do it yet, and I imagine it'll be a while before I do. That's not something they want Novices to learn, I would think. After all, we might use it to run away instead of scrubbing floors."

She glanced up at him with a rueful smile. "Not that I would ever consider doing anything like that myself, of course..." Her dark eyes flashed as she gazed up toward him through her lashes without lifting herself up again.

[Cat]

Tristram

Tristram just laughed, picking up the brush once more and dunking in the bucket. The water within needed changing, but he wasn’t going to do that. What would be the point? No doubt as soon as they’d finished, people would be walking across the floor once more, getting it as dirty as it had been before it had been cleaned. He’d made the decision that he wasn’t going to expend more effort than he needed to. He wasn’t here to make the Tower look nice, after all, but to learn to channel.

He glanced again at Andraste and grinned. “Don’t tell me it’s never crossed your mind to sneak out. It’s easy enough to do without knowing how to Travel. It’s the one thing that keeps me sane.”

[Bella]

Andraste shifted to another section of the floor and kept scrubbing. It was passable. She had learned how to just do enough to pass by the necessities here, but without going overboard and killing herself in the process. She was pretty sure there were no awards given out for overachieving, though many of her Novice compatriots didn't seem to agree.

She lifted up to glance around for any prying ears before turning back to Tristram, eyeing him and wondering how safe a confidant he might be.

"I never said I didn't do my share of sneaking about," she said simply, lifting her shoulders slightly and letting them fall in a little flourish of a shrug. "I wouldn't say I've never actually thought about running away either, although I have decided against doing so. Admittedly, the thought returns on laundry day..."

[Cat]

Tristram

He often wondered why Novices and Soldiers weren’t allowed to leave the grounds unescorted. Was it because they weren’t trusted, or was the prospect of freedom used as an incentive to push themselves towards being raised? Perhaps it was the fact that lots of people chose to run away due to how they were treated.

Tristram couldn’t say that he had personally thought about running away. Throttling Asha’man, yes, and murdering them, because sometimes they were so unbelievably frustrating, but running away wouldn’t get him to the place that he wanted to be.

“Why,” he asked, tilting his head ever so slightly in question, “have you decided against it? Is there a particular reason?”

[Bella]

Oh, dear... She walked into that one, didn't she?

The Novice didn't answer at first. Her brow furrowed where it couldn't be seen, since her head was down while she focused on the task at hand, which was literally the floor at her hand. The thoughts that had swirled in her mind since her beloveds died, since she had come here, were not the sort she should tell anyone. She knew that.

How did one answer then? Perhaps there was a truth that could be told that wasn't the entire truth. After all, some secrets need be kept.

"Well, it was impressed upon me that I needed to be taught to control my ability or risk being a danger to myself or others. I was, or am, I'm not sure... Either way. They called me a wilder." Now she lifted her head, leaning back on her heels and wiping her forehead with her sleeve and pushing back strands of dark hair.

"I channeled before being brought to the Tower. Apparently in small ways for some time, until one...not so small time, when I was found by the Aes Sedai. They said it was dangerous to not learn, so I conceded.

"Now I imagine that what I learn here can be useful out in the world. I would like..." She hesitated, her brows knitting slightly. The Soldier across from her had obviously not wanted to tread into painful territory, and she didn't either, but how to explain even this bit of truth without doing so? "I think such abilities could help prevent tragedies." Like what happened to me. "That is worth staying for."

And those other things you will not speak aloud. She silenced her inner voice.

[Cat]

Tristram

Ah. A Wilder. He had heard of them, of course. Who hadn’t? And he was most certainly glad that he was not one. He, at least, had come to the Tower by choice, and he had sworn that because of that he would endure whatever was thrown at him. He’d chosen this, but things would have been completely different had he been a Wilder and forced here. He’d have asked to be Stilled, he’d have fought them every moment, made them regret ever bringing him here.

He dipped the brush in the water once more and set about scrubbing at the last bit of floor on his side, focusing on that for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. He wanted to ask what the not so small time had been, but had a feeling that it was better not to. He didn’t want to actually tread somewhere he wasn’t supposed to, and, besides, he didn’t care. It was none of his business. Him knowing wouldn’t change a thing.

Instead, he looked up and grinned. “I suppose that means you want to be a Green? Kill all things before they can hurt anything?”

[Bella]

He was grinning, so he found levity in the statement. It hit a little too deep for her, but she managed a half-smile and a little shrug. "I don't know I'd say that..." Yes, you would. "But I am considering it. Admittedly, I've spent more time just working on learning how to channel at all and then the little things. I figure the Ajah will be something to worry about later.

"What about you?" she asked after a pause. "Have you given any thought to the Ajah that you would like to join?"