The Grey Tower

Avram stared at the other man for a second, thoughts racing. "You know I'm unlikely to hurt myself. You saw me training. You don't trust me. Understandable. Suspicion of- " he cut himself off and shook his head. "Don't suppose it matters, the prudent course of action is the same for any of them. Leaving me armed would be an unacceptable risk, espcially if you're telling me that the Tower has been attacked again. If you don't know who the most recent attacker was it would be unacceptable to leave weapons with me until you were more sure of me." The Ji couldn't seem to keep his thoughts in his head now. Maybe it came from finally being able to speak freely again? It didn't matter. He stared at the bracers on his arms for a moment before carefully beginning to remove one. The weight had helped quite a bit, but if they had been left in his clothes it was unlikely that his clothes had been searched thoroughly. He had to clamp his jaws down to keep the thoughts in his head. If Ravak wanted these gone, he probably would be less than pleased to leave him with the other knives that were probably within arms reach.

He got them off. He was helpless. Any minute now he would feel the blade in his neck, the stab in his back, feel the blood running over him, death death was coming now he had to stop it he had to be safe this was wrong this was bad no no no

He shoved it back on and tightened the laces, securing it properly. "I- no. Ravak Gaidin, whatever you have to do to protect the Tower from whatever dangers you think I might bring you can. but no." He had thought having safety near would be enough. The sweat running down his back and arms, the heat in his arms, the pounding of his heart said otherwise. "I will not be left helpless meat." No matter how safe it seemed. He would not be meat.

Those last words unsettled him more than Avram's refusal to hand over his weaponry. "...helpless meat." He'd heard that sort of language from soldiers before. After seeing enough battles, they adopted an unhealthy detachment from reality. Injuries and deaths became mere numbers. Soldiers became faceless entities on the stones' board of the battlefield. They operated in an abstract manner, which was fine when it came to planning, but not when it came down to actual combat.

Rav closed his fist and settled back into the chair. He tried to look relaxed, even though his body and mind were anything but. He played out scenarios that could come to pass in his mind; considering the quickest way to disarm Avram, and the best way to prevent him from causing harm to himself or others.

His brain wasn't solely focused on the task of incapacitating the Ji'val. Ravak still wasn't sure where to fall on the question of Avram's status as a Darkfriend. Maybe the better question is what's his status as a Ji. Would he let Avram out in the Yards like this? The answer was a clear no. Like it or not (and mostly it was not), Avram had to follow orders. Patients in the infirmary did not need weapons to defend themselves. Patients like Avram had more chance of being the cause of harm than becoming a victim of it.

There were a number of approaches to this, including the violent ones he was considering. Rav decided to go the other way.

"You're in the centre of the Grey Tower, Avram. Of all places, this is one of the safest to be in." Maybe he could have left it at that, but he didn't. "If there is any danger, it would have to come through a dozen channellers between the entrance to the infirmary and here. And that's just considering the Yellows who tend to things here. Several will have Warders nearby. It doesn't get much more protected than this."

Rav had his hands resting lightly on his sword pommels. The Light knew if reason would stick. The Light knew what Avram would do next. Rav just watched the Cairhienin closely as he waited for a response of any sort.

"Yes Ravak. This is one of the safest places I could possibly be. But ten channelers can't take the Trollocs away. Can't take their breath off of my neck." He grimaced. "They're still there. These... help." The leather on his wrists, the way they weighed him down felt like safety. Or at least a way to fight back.

It was in the training master's hands now. That was not something Avram was happy about, but it wasn't really something he could change. Options. He needed options. But there wasn't really anything he had to offer, besides his word. "I know you have the best interests of the Tower in mind. I understand why you don't want me armed. But under the light and by my hope of salvation, by my oath as Ji'val, by everything I value, I will do no harm to any who do not attempt to harm me. But if you leave me defenseless, I make no guarantee I will last the night, let alone the week."

A sad half smile came to his face. "Not that I think that'll do me any good. You have your duty I suppose."

"I swear on the Light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth that I do not love Dakson Torellion, Gaidin of the Grey Tower, or may the Creator's face turn from me forever and darkness consume my soul." Another oath from another time, but the words came back to Ravak from across the decades.

"A strong oath," Ravak murmured. That oath from the past had not been held to, but from it sprung two friendships. But one broken oath from one Cairhienin didn't mean all oaths would be broken, although he had a justifiably low opinion of Cairhienin. That much, at least, was a reasonable stigma.

He rubbed a hand over his brow. Am I really about to do this? The option for violence was still there; simply seizing the weapons would produce the safest outcome for all involved. The Light knew what sort of disaster could erupt from a madman using wrist-blades, but then Ravak was a man of honour. A man's word had to mean something.

"I do have my duty, but you have made an oath." Ravak fixed down Avram with his grey-blue stare. "I will hold you to each word of that oath; that is my duty."

Every word of that oath. Avram intended to keep his word. There were many places, and many times, that he was willing to play fast and loose with the truth and what was said. But this was what he came to do. Protect people. Agression, at least in the Tower, would be less than useful for that. However.

"I want to protect people. Including myself. But if there is one thing I have learned Ravak Gaidin, it is that no one is safe while the Shadow is active. I am Ji'val." He sat up and breathed in, feeling his duty to the Tower settle on him, weighing him down, but comforting him almost as much as his weapons did. Duty is heavier than a mountain. He had heard it enough times. But sometimes that mountain could guide a man. "If I am to help protect the tower, I will do it best with information." He looked at Ravak.

"What exactly happened while I was away?"