Mirin giggled along with Betrys at the mention of their silly pranks as novices. But then, her expression darkened, although she tried to hide it. Her change in mood came swiftly and suddenly.
She had never kept very many secrets from Betrys. But ever since being raised to Accepted, she had begun to hold back information. The events of the three arches, for instance, were too terrible to speak of. And of course, there was her project with Aria Sedai…
The Black Ajah existed. Mirin was sure of it now. She had seen them in the arches. She had seen Compulsion kill a boy. The Grey Tower had channelers who worked for the Dark One, and Mirin aimed to find them. It was all very good to joke about Bonding and romance, but this conversation was becoming too raw.
“No, Betrys,” she said quietly. “I cannot fall in love. I – I saw something in the arches. I cannot, Betrys.” Her voice was sad. Love had ceased to become a possibility when she watched her future daughter die. Perhaps she could find love after Tarmon Gai’don. But not now. The world was too dangerous; the Dark One’s touch was too strong. People close to her stood too great of a chance of getting hurt. If her enemies could not capture her child, they could perhaps capture a lover. Or a friend.
Even Betrys. She realized this with sudden horror. Betrys could defend herself with her budding Talent in Earthsinging, but Mirin could not, in good conscience, expose her friend to danger. Again, Mirin thought of Compulsion, of the boy’s blank, empty stare. She thought of the woman who had appeared in her arches, her strength in the One Power completely dwarfing Mirin's ability. She thought of the Myrddraal slitting Lina's slim throat and shivered. The Black Ajah was far more dangerous than anything that the two Accepted could face.
One day I will have to leave Betrys, she thought. Or Betrys would be in danger. But not yet. Mirin was afraid that she would fall apart if she had to leave her friend. Her only friend. One day I will be strong enough to leave, she thought. One day I will be hard enough. But not today.
She hoped that the day would not come too soon – or too late.
“We’ve talked enough,” she said, and stood up. “I have to study. But before I go –,” she looked at Betrys hopefully, “– perhaps you could show me a little of the weaves that you have been working on?”
She had never kept very many secrets from Betrys. But ever since being raised to Accepted, she had begun to hold back information. The events of the three arches, for instance, were too terrible to speak of. And of course, there was her project with Aria Sedai…
The Black Ajah existed. Mirin was sure of it now. She had seen them in the arches. She had seen Compulsion kill a boy. The Grey Tower had channelers who worked for the Dark One, and Mirin aimed to find them. It was all very good to joke about Bonding and romance, but this conversation was becoming too raw.
“No, Betrys,” she said quietly. “I cannot fall in love. I – I saw something in the arches. I cannot, Betrys.” Her voice was sad. Love had ceased to become a possibility when she watched her future daughter die. Perhaps she could find love after Tarmon Gai’don. But not now. The world was too dangerous; the Dark One’s touch was too strong. People close to her stood too great of a chance of getting hurt. If her enemies could not capture her child, they could perhaps capture a lover. Or a friend.
Even Betrys. She realized this with sudden horror. Betrys could defend herself with her budding Talent in Earthsinging, but Mirin could not, in good conscience, expose her friend to danger. Again, Mirin thought of Compulsion, of the boy’s blank, empty stare. She thought of the woman who had appeared in her arches, her strength in the One Power completely dwarfing Mirin's ability. She thought of the Myrddraal slitting Lina's slim throat and shivered. The Black Ajah was far more dangerous than anything that the two Accepted could face.
One day I will have to leave Betrys, she thought. Or Betrys would be in danger. But not yet. Mirin was afraid that she would fall apart if she had to leave her friend. Her only friend. One day I will be strong enough to leave, she thought. One day I will be hard enough. But not today.
She hoped that the day would not come too soon – or too late.
“We’ve talked enough,” she said, and stood up. “I have to study. But before I go –,” she looked at Betrys hopefully, “– perhaps you could show me a little of the weaves that you have been working on?”
