An Unconventional Path [attn: Matty/Maever~]

[Elan]

Jaren

He’d been advised to seek out Asha’man Maever, and that’s what Jaren set out to do as soon as he had the chance. As a Dedicated, he had more freedom to choose and organise his studies, and though he dearly wanted to pursue more in-depth knowledge of Warding, he found that he couldn’t truly focus on anything else with the unresolved matter of Healing consuming his thoughts.

He hadn’t seen Jaryd since… since the day after the test. And right now he wasn’t sure how he’d react if he did come face to face with the Asha’man, so maybe that was for the best. He could get his act together and not embarrass either of them.

Or that was the idea.

How he was ever going to accomplish that — the getting his act together part; he was fairly sure embarrassing himself would be all too easy — when simply thinking about Jaryd made his chest constrict painfully, he had no idea. It wasn’t real, he told himself angrily, but the thought was drowned out by the images crowding in; Jaryd falling to his knees, curling around the fatal wound; Jaryd looking up at him, saying it had been worth it; Jaryd’s lifeless eyes staring at him as he looked back just before stepping into the Arch—

Never stop smiling.

Jaren stopped in the middle of the hallway, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. A deep breath. It wasn’t real. Though the last bit had been; Jaryd had actually said that, but it had been while drunk and dancing at the ill-fated ball, not… not while dying, for Light’s sake! Jaryd was alive. And Jaren intended to see that he stayed that way, if there was anything he could do about it.

Which was what brought him to the Infirmary looking for the First Weaver. The Basic Healing class had left very little doubt as to his Healing ability. At least in the traditional way of saidin-channellers, he was never going to save lives. That had been a hard truth to swallow… But the traditional saidin way was not the only way, was it? Saidar-users Healed differently, and if that was something Jaren could learn—

It had to be a possibility. He wouldn’t accept that it wasn’t.

The Infirmary was not terribly busy at this time, which was lucky; Jaren wouldn’t want to take up the First Weaver’s time if the Yellows had a lot of work in their hands. In fact Jaren felt a little foolish to be bothering the First Weaver at all. As someone who had barely passed the Basic Healing class, what business had he in the Infirmary, bothering not only an Asha’man of the Yellow Ajah but the First Weaver himself with his dilemma? But he couldn’t give up.

Dismissing his doubts he scanned the room until he spotted Maever Donovan, then made a beeline towards the Asha’man. He hadn’t really planned how to bring up the topic, his thoughts turned into a jumbled mess of hope and anxiety when he tried to formulate any kind of strategy, but he had to do this. He had to try. “First Weaver?” he addressed the older man, a little embarrassed to hear the slight tremor in his voice. “Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment?”

[Chris]

Maever Donovan Today was a good day.

It was good because Maever had plenty to be thankful for. His health, his role as the First Weaver, his patients, his new shoes which were neat and black and oh so tidy... the Illianer was ever so grateful, and it made it much easier to get out of bed in a morning and take on the world. One patient at a time, each weave and smile and friendly pat on the shoulder was a miniature victory for the man.

Really, it was a day like any other, because Maever had a routine, and he liked to follow it as much as possible. A big part of this was doing the rounds of the Infirmary, making sure there was Healing available for those who needed it, and offering advice to those who asked for it. Oh, and training the aspiring Yellows. How exciting, to have new channellers to take on the noble work of the Yellow Ajah and travel around the world sharing their knowledge and talents! What was more rewarding than making people better?

Maever did have a terrible tendency to forget to take breaks or proper meals, and it was for this reason he was usually interrupted by one of the other Yellows. An apple, or a cup of water, or a pat on the shoulder, told Maever when he needed to take a step back and rest. But it was difficult when there was so much going on, most of it rather exciting. And if it wasn't exciting, it was at least important, and Maever couldn't rest well when his services were needed.

When he was interrupted by the Dedicated, it wasn't really an interruption. The Illianer, with his slim build and pale eyes, was looking at an inventory list one of the Accepted had compiled for him, which looked important but in reality he had no head for numbers and would pass this on to someone like Karrahmel when he saw her next. The Dedicated was a pleasant distraction; light eyes lifted from the text to take in the man, a friendly smile crossing his face. "Oh, fortune favour you Dedicated!" he said, "of course, do everything be alright? No, we can talk somewhere private if you do be wanting... I do have an office, come with me please." He could usually tell when someone was a little anxious, or maybe didn't want to talk about things in public, and his office was normally free. He didn't care to spend too much time there normally, it was lonely and it wasn't where the Yellow Ajah were supposed to be. How else was he supposed to lead, if not by example?

"I do be Asha'man Maever," he said to the Dedicated, giving him another big smile. He gestured to his small office as they approached it, a plain and sturdily furnished affair with a number of plants. "Please, do be taking a seat," he said, glad to have a jug of water and some glasses as well. "Oh, and a drink as well if you do be wanting!" He left the door ever so slightly ajar as he went to sit on a chair as well, not behind the desk but sort of facing the trainee with the little table with the jug between them. "Thank you for coming to see me," he said warmly. "Please, do be telling me your name and what it do be that I can be helping with. I do be promising confidentiality and professionalism! So please do no be afraid to speak up about anything that do be troubling you."

[Elan]

Jaren

Jaren had never met the First Weaver before and only knew the man by reputation, which had in no way prepared him for the reality. He’d expected someone like— well, someone like Gareth Tomosan, utterly competent and fair but a little intimidating; the last bit seemed to be something of a prerequisite to being an Asha’man in the first place. Maever Donovan, however, was… not. The First Weaver appeared completely unassuming and just genuinely… kind, and that kindness was in itself a little like Healing to Jaren’s frayed nerves.

It was suddenly easier to answer the smile with one of his own as he followed the Asha’man to his office and took the offered seat. “Thank you, sir.” He briefly contemplated the jug of water, but decided against it. He drew a deep breath. “My name is Jaren Marle. I’ve recently—” …passed the test for Dedicated and failed in just about everything else since? No, come on, focus. He flashed a slightly self-deprecating smile. “Sorry. I should have probably written this down.” He looked at the Yellow facing him, unable to guess what the other man was thinking but thankful that he made no comment, instead letting Jaren take his time. Right, let’s try that again…

“Since my, ah, testing I— I wanted to learn to Heal. Well. I always wanted to learn, but it’s… especially important, now. I took the Basic Healing class as soon as I could, obviously, but… I can barely form the weave.” Admitting it out loud hurt, both his pride and a deeper, more desolate kind of hurt that made his breath catch.

He made himself meet Asha’man Maever’s eyes as he continued, willing his voice to remain steady, “My strengths are in Air and Water. I know Talent — or lack thereof — doesn’t always follow one’s elemental strengths, but I have to at least try, to find out if it’s possible to… to learn another kind of Healing. I know saidar-channellers use Air and Water to Heal. Sir, do you think it possible for a saidin-channeller to learn that way?”

He made himself stop short of begging and sat back in his chair, waiting for the First Weaver’s reaction. If it was possible for a man to learn the so-called women’s way, he was confident Asha’man Maever would help him. And it had to be possible. He refused to think about the alternative.

[Chris]

Still Maever It was with a patient, friendly ear that Maever listened to the Dedicated. It seemed to him that the Yellow Ajah always drew in the empathetic, the feeling, and the kind. Wanting to help others was what mattered, not the strength of one's Healing, and that desire to help was what brought Jaren here. Spurred in no small part by his Arches, no doubt, something Maever could identify with well.

He wanted to pat the Dedicated on the shoulder, or give him some cakes and let him know he would be fine, but the Illianer had nothing like that to offer, he only had himself, and that would have to be enough. He saw a lot of himself in Jaren actually, even in this brief interaction. Uncertainty and a nervousness and a need to be useful, it was all resonating with Maever and it made his chest ache with a need to contribute something, anything really, to soothe the man and make sure he knew he was needed, wanted, useful.

"Oh Jaren, do no be disheartened!" he insisted earnestly. "Now, it do be true that the best of Healers do be in the Yellow Ajah, but that do no be all that we do be about. No, Healing does come in many forms, and one do no be needing to be strong in the Talent to be a Yellow. That desire, that want to help others, it does need to be there, and that do be the difference between a Healer becoming a Yellow, or no. Now. I do no be teaching basic Healing usually, but i do be more than happy to see what I can be doing to help. First, let us be starting with the theory!

"So, we do be thinking that in the Age of Legends, channellers did Heal with all five elements of the Power." Jaren knew what these were, Maever didn't need to be quite that basic. "Now, the White Tower did no use Earth and Fire for their weaves. I do no be knowing why. But for me and the Healing I do be performing, I do use all five powers. And it do be just so happening... that I do be better with Air and Water than Earth and Fire also!" He gave a big smile. "The elements you do be better with, it does make sense to use them more, no? Now, certain elements do be better for certain things - Earth for the heart, for example - but I do be confident I can show you some weaves which do no be using Fire and Earth. Now, it could be that you do no have the knack to use all five elements, and that do be okay as well. Okay?" He ducked his head to meet the Dedicated's gaze, "you do no be as good or poor as your Talents. You do be as good as your actions and the things you do be doing. So I would say, that you do be a good person already! And no being good at Healing would no change that."

Maever took that moment to seize Saidin, drawing an unremarkable amount to grab at three threads. Spirit, Water and Air. "Do be seizing the Power and observe," he said quietly, his voice cold in the void. "It do be important to note that the way you do be using these threads do be far different to when we do use Fire and Earth. It do also be different to how a woman does channel, but we do still be less... forceful... with these elements." Maever demonstrated by weaving the three elements together in a simple, delicate weave that if he was touching someone, would go into their body and Heal any injuries they had. "It do be crude in that you can no decide what part of the body to heal, and we do still be drawing strength from the person being Healed. But you may notice it does flow more than what you did experience in your Basic Healing Class. Would you like to give it a try?"

[Elan]

Jaren

Jaren listened to the First Weaver speak with conflicting emotions. He appreciated what the older man was trying to do— Alright, more than appreciated; a part of him wanted so much to accept the comforting words and just let himself be assured that everything would be fine; Asha’man Maever was right and not all Healing was a matter of the Power. There were other ways to make a difference, to help people, of course there were; he had never considered Healing as his true calling until the Arches. And he still didn’t, not really, but…

But he remembered Jaryd bleeding out in his arms. He would remember that for the rest of his life, and the fact that the real Jaryd was alive helped little to mitigate the memory of a world where he was not, and… If that doesn’t change one’s outlook on life, he thought wryly and perhaps with a note of hysteria, then nothing will.

Being a good person wouldn’t keep his loved ones alive.

But he shoved those thoughts aside to focus on the theory part of what Asha’man Maever was saying. He’d never thought that some elements might be better for healing certain things, but he had to admit that it made a certain amount of sense and he wanted to remember every bit of information he could get out of this meeting.

He seized the Power when Asha’man Maever told him to — happy to abandon the feelings of anxiety and frustration outside the edges of the Void, and then the happiness as well — and watched carefully as the First Weaver demonstrated the weave. It was indeed different from the one with Earth and Fire, and not only in terms of the elements used; there were more subtle differences in the flow of the threads, in the harmony of the elements… But the biggest difference was that the composition made sense to his mind in a way the default one hadn’t.

“It do be crude in that you can no decide what part of the body to heal, and we do still be drawing strength from the person being Healed. But you may notice it does flow more than what you did experience in your Basic Healing Class,” the Asha’man was saying. Jaren nodded enthusiastically, excitement replacing frustration at the fringes of the Void. “Would you like to give it a try?”

“Yes, sir,” Jaren replied without hesitation. “Yes, very much so.”

He took threads of Spirit, Air and Water like the First Weaver had shown, and began to intertwine them into the delicate construct as demonstrated. A detached part of him marvelled at how naturally the flows fell into place; there was no wrestling with sluggish threads that seemed to have a mind of their own. There was no feeling of inevitable failure. It was… easy. If not for the Void, he would have laughed with sheer delight.

As it was, he merely smiled as he looked back at the First Weaver. “Like this, sir?” he asked, mostly as a formality; in his heart he was certain he’d got it right. This form of Healing might not be optimal — it would still draw strength from the patient, as Asha’man Maever had said — but it was a start. If Jaren could do this, maybe… then maybe with Maever’s help he could figure a workaround for the more advanced forms of Healing, as well.

[Chris]

Moar Maever The Illianer took unrestrained, endless delight in seeing people learn new Healing weaves. It was another person to care for others, to fix what others broke. How could he not be happy about this? So as Jaren formed the weaves, with an ease and a flair that Maever could recognise, the Yellow made a happy noise in his throat and nodded eagerly.

"Oh yes, that do be wonderful!" he said, "If you did Heal someone with that, then it would work perfectly. I do be able to tell!" Yes, the First Weaver was as happy as a clam. "Here, let us try it a few more times. You do be needing to feel the weaves, and how they do work together in harmony. The right amount of Spirit to guide the Water and Air... like you do be stroking the sea, moving your hands across the waves..." he guided Jaren through the weaves a couple more times, and he was pleased to see that the first time hadn't been a fluke. Of course it wasn't! People learned in different ways, and it was about playing to their strengths. The Illianer was happy to see that Jaren was picking this up, that his doubt was turning to delight and confidence. No doubt his Basic Lesson hadn't gone this well.

"Ohhh, well done!" he said, after a few more attempts were successfully made. "Those weaves do be looking great. I do be knowing that if you do keep practising, you will get even better, and you will master some of the more complicated weaves as well. It do be plain to see from your weaving, and I do be having an eye for this sort of thing." Maever was as pleased as punch and he couldn't hide it, "Ohh, have you considered the Yellow Ajah Jaren? It do be our purpose to help those who do be needing it... sometimes even if they do no be knowing or agreeing that they do need Healing. It do be true that the Power do no always be needed, but to be able to restore life with Saidin? It does make me feel so alive, and to share that with you- with any of the Yellows- it do be so wonderful!"

Unable to resist, Maever seized Saidin once more, drawing upon all five elements. They moved in an intricate and deliberate pattern, as natural as the waves and as carefree as the wind rustling leaves on a tree. He wasn't really teaching so much as showing Jaren what he could do, and the Illianer was happy to give examples of other weaves. Using them on a patient would be a little later in the day, but it would happen and Maever was hopeful that this was the beginning of an exciting, Yellow path for Jaren.

[Elan]

Jaren

The First Weaver’s delight and enthusiasm was infectious and Jaren felt his spirits rise as he formed the weave again, and a third time for good measure, and it was just as easy — or even easier — each time. Asha’man Maever kept talking excitedly, and though Jaren listened to everything he said — it would have been both rude and unwise not to — the focus of his attention was in the channelling… At least until something the Asha’man said caught his attention fully.

“—Have you considered the Yellow Ajah, Jaren? It do be our purpose to help those who do be needing it… sometimes even if they do no be knowing or agreeing that they do need Healing.”

Jaren sat still, looking at the First Weaver without truly seeing him. The Yellow Ajah. The thought floated in the Void, oddly detached from any context. “I’ve not given it much thought yet, to be honest,” he said as the silence threatened to drag on. “I’ve only just become Dedicated. It feels like there’s an awfully long time until I have to make the final decision.” He was still a little surprised that he’d been tested at all, after the events of the ill-fated ball. He’d been sure that display had earned him at least five more years as a Soldier. But he was Dedicated now, and that was that… even if he still found himself scrubbing the floors alongside Novices and Soldiers rather than supervising the task.

It was a small price to pay, in the end.

He watched as Asha’man Maever channelled again, deftly weaving threads of all elements into an intricate pattern. Despite the presence of Earth and Fire, the weave as a whole felt very… coherent, like it made sense on some deeply profound level that Jaren couldn’t put into words. He wondered if his brief success had simply boosted his confidence too much and he was imagining things, but he had a feeling that he could replicate the weave if he tried.

Hesitantly, but with more confidence as he progressed, he picked up threads of Spirit, Air and Fire, Water and Earth… Spirit formed the framework, like with Wards though the pattern was fundamentally different. Air and Fire fell into place quite naturally, one balancing the other, complementing each other instead of conflicting. The combination of Water and Earth felt a little heavier, but that only meant it required more focus, not a violent struggle. There was harmony such as he’d rarely felt while channelling, and before today only seen in some of Jaryd’s Wards. And then… everything was in place.

Jaren looked at the First Weaver again. Only now did it occur to him that he’d never asked permission to try the weave himself. Embarrassment shook the Void a little, but it was easily overcome; the sense of accomplishment fed his determination to see this through. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said, probably not sounding very sorry at all. “I think I… should probably give the Yellow Ajah some thought, yes?”

[Chris]

It do be Maever Perhaps it was a little soon since the man's testing, but in Maever's opinion it wasn't ever too early to be inspired and drawn to your true calling. Maever had his heart set on the Yellow Ajah before he even denied his first calling to the Three Arches, but that wasn't true for everyone. Some people claimed to not know before they were presented with the choice after the Stairs, but really they had to know deep in their hearts. Maever certainly thought so, but then people joining the Yellow Ajah stood out from their peers. They were compassionate, good people, and they inevitably made themselves known to people.

He looked on as the Dedicated channelled again. The lovely thing about these weaves was that they weren't being used on anyone, so there was no harm in them going wrong. Normally. Maever grinned unabashedly with his genuine enthusiasm as all the elements worked in harmony and became something grand and beautiful from nothing. Maever loved to see how the small, unassuming elements became so much greater by working together, and he liked to think the same about the Yellow Ajah as a whole.

"Oh, you do no be needing to apologise!" Maever said, "you do be a Dedicated now and you do be more responsible for your own studies. I do be seeing a natural Talent for Healing, Jaren, and the Yellow Ajah would love to have you! Do just be keeping it in mind, and if you do be having any questions then do no be hesitating to be asking me. Even if the Yellow Ajah do no be your calling, learning to Heal do be of utmost importance to you, your Warder, your loved ones... so do be feeling free to come practice. Why, you and I should book some time together, so you can learn with patients! Yes. I will work some Healing with Saidin, advanced lessons, into your timetable if you do be agreeable!"

"But for now," Maever gave Jaren a bright smile, "if you do be having the time, we could look at some variations to the weave. Fortune did favour us this day to bring us together for Healing! Oh, have you been in the Infirmary much before? Do you be knowing your way around? We do have lots of exciting things here for any fledgling Healer...!" the Illianer was excited, he couldn't help himself. He did so love to help people fulfil their potential, if that potential was to become a Healer anyway. Or maybe to rub a chicken's belly, he was good at that as well.

[Elan]

Jaren

Jaren let the weave dissolve and released saidin again. He wasn’t sure he had a true 'calling' as such, besides maybe helping make the world that little bit safer for those who had no choice but to live in it. He’d thought, for the past two years, that he was slowly gravitating towards the Red Ajah, but if he was honest with himself, it was Jaryd he was drawn to. Light, he didn’t even know if Jaryd thought he was cut out to be a Red; he’d always thought it too early to bring the subject up.

Oh, it was not that he didn’t think he could do whatever was required of him; he could, and he would, do whatever Jaryd needed him to do. And… therein lay the potential problem. He couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t be a liability when, at the end of the day, he cared more about the man than the cause he represented.

The Yellow Ajah was beginning to feel more and more like an inevitability, not just an option. Jaren could live with that. He could vaguely recall a conversation with Andraste — a long time ago, slightly delirious from the humidity of the laundry room — and he still thought he’d been right then; all the Ajahs shared a purpose, they just approached it from different angles.

His angle right now was making sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the last Arch’s scenario would never be reality. And if he could be useful to anyone else while at it, fine.

With a bit of an effort, he focused on what the First Weaver was saying again. “I— I would love that,” he said. “The lessons I mean. Ah…” He ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea how widespread his burgeoning reputation as the Laundry Dedicated was. “You… may find that my timetable differs a little from other Dedicated. I’ve been assigned to do chores alongside Soldiers and Novices, as penance, for the next while.” Telling Asha’man Maever that, potentially ruining the man’s good impression of him, stung his pride more than the penance itself. “But I’m sure the lessons can be fit somewhere. Please.” He could maybe drop some other class; this was important, everything else could wait. Or he could just start skipping dinner. But this had to work. Somehow, it had to.

[Chris]

Le Maever The Illianer realised he was probably being a little heavy handed with his constant encouragement towards the Yellow Ajah but really, it was just a sensible idea to him. And Jaren could always change his mind. For now though, Maever would do his usual encouraging, and give a little sigh if it didn't work.

He didn't really blink when Jaren explained his situation. Admittedly, the Illianer was not up and current with the goings on of a number of trainees, simply because he had his nose buried in his craft, but it sounded rather serious, so he must have done something quite unpleasant to be given Soldier-level penances. Well, Jaren seemed like a good fellow to Maever, and he wasn't the sort to add punishment to punishment because frankly it was none of his business, so the Illianer wasn't going to hold anything against him.

"Oh, I do be sure that we can arrange something," he said confidently. "I can speak with the Master of Soldiers. Asha'man Jaryd do be a good man and I do be sure if I do ask nicely he will assist in providing some time." The Illianer was hopeful but it was down to how the curly-haired man felt about what he was being punished for in the first place. "In any case, it do no be a one time offer, Jaren. The Infirmary doors do be open for those who do want help, and those who do be wanting to help as well. We will no close our doors to anyone." Ravak was a little perplexed by Maever's attitude towards the Seanchan, and Blademaster Dakson was more of a "kill first, ask questions never" sort of man, but that wasn't Maever. The Yellow Ajah Healed, and this was not discriminatory Healing where Maever was concerned.

There was a knock at the door and the Illianer perked right up, turning to smile as a Yellow Aes Sedai poked her head through. "Maever dear, we have some of the Green Ajah here for their lesson on cauterising."

"I do no be remembering scheduling this," Maever muttered. Was this some sort of practical joke? He turned to give Jaren an apologetic smile, "do please be excusing me Jaren. I will let you go back to whatever you do be doing and I will speak with Asha'man Jaryd to see what we can do to give you some time in the Infirmary, yes?" The Illianer stood, a smile still stuck on his face as he held a hand out. "It do be so lovely to speak with you Jaren," he said earnestly, "thank you so much for coming here to talk to me."