The Past Undying, Redeux [Attn: Ravak Darrow Gaidin]

[Bella]

The past never sleeps. It never dies. It never stops.

Miahala Sha'hal sat at the small desk in her sitting room, holding a parchment in her hand and reading over the words therein. It was the scrawling writing of a man living the life of the soldier, whose missives were usually military dispatches or general requests for troops. This missive had been dispatched from an outpost on the northern Shienar border, almost within spitting distance of Tarwin's Gap.

Tarwin's Gap, she reflected upon the name. It was as familiar to her as the signature on the letter. Twenty years, and he was still commanding the soldiers at the outpost. It almost made her laugh, to think of the man who had been war-torn and grizzled back then being even more war-torn and grizzled. Something that she certainly would not have even thought possible, but now was sure it was.

The letter was a request for aid, but personally to her. Commander Marwen had known her for a long time. He was not old enough to have known Darien Jolstraer, but he knew of the history of the Golden Eagle of Tarwin's Gap. It was Mia that he knew through her assistance during prior times of trouble, when the Shadow and the Blight decided to harder press its battle lines forward.

It seemed that now was one of those times, and even if she could set aside a call to battle and a call for help, she could not set aside the call of a friend. Even if she hadn't seen them in over twenty years.

Besides, she could do with a little getting out of the Tower. Even as civil, even cordial, as it was...after everything with Sojin and his departure, she thought being nearer her homeland could do some work to replenish the soul.

Thus she determined that she was going to Shienar, but she knew it not wise to go alone. When she was younger and brasher, and perhaps stupider, she would have done so. Oh come now, she would do it even now if she hadn't had her children both after her to not do just that with her warder's release and parting. She considered ignoring them of course, but...well...

She decided, ultimately and with much inward blood shed in the debate, to not ignore them. With that, she sent a missive to the Gaidin Captain and requested an available Gaidin to aid her on a mission to the Blightborder.

[Craig]

Ravak Darrow

The sharp sound of a log splitting was the only real noise in the Gaidin Captain's office. The nib of a quill moved smoothly over parchment as Ravak penned politely worded replies. Over the years as Riahana's right hand, the Shienaran had learnt how to be diplomatic, if only via the medium of ink. In his head, the internal commentary for each request was less courteous. He had little sympathy for the trivial issues of nobles, who somehow had the genius thought that Gaidin would be more receptive to their demands.

"Not on my watch," Rav grumbled.

A head turned towards him from the other side of the room. Snowflake lay near the open doorway. No-one would have thought she was on guard; merely keeping cool from the draft that came in from the corridor. Unlike her master, Snowflake had remained Shienaran and liked the cold. Ravak observed but ignored his animal companion, moving onto the next missive. A letter, sealed in green wax, imprinted with the Flame and Fang. Rav picked up a blunt dagger and broke the seal.

Requests for unbonded Gaidin was one of his other primary duties; he was the captain of the Gaidin, after all. Certain Ajahs were more prevalent in their requests than others; some Aes Sedai and Asha'man were well known to Rav due to the frequency of their requests. But the name that signed off the letter was new. At least for a request such as this.

It wasn't just the former Amyrlin's name that jumped off the page. Tarwin's Gap. Shienar. It struck a note within his heart, which was still looking for something to fill in the void left by his daughter's absence. She only lived a short walk away, but Kaira had been his constant companion throughout the last sixteen years, and now she was gone. "Empty nest syndrome" one of the Yellows had quipped. Well, Kaira wasn't the only one who could fly the nest. "And this office is getting bloody stuffy."
---- The corridors of the Green Ajah were simultaneously familiar and foreign. Ironically for the Gaidin Captain, Ravak seldom found himself walking the halls of the Battle Ajah. He associated himself more with the Brown Ajah due to his love of books, and to the Red Ajah because of Jaryd and Kaia. The Infirmary was another common port of call, and he had a couple of Yellows he considered friends.

Yet for some reason he avoided the Greens.

His soft-soled boots made no sound as he walked down the green-tiled corridors, admiring the tapestries of battle scenes. Channellers and Warders fighting against Shadowspawn was the most prominent subject matter, and he found his gaze drawn to every one. It had been years since his last endeavour into the Blight. Light, wasn't the last time my raising test? That seemed a lifetime ago. The adventures of Ravak Ji'alantin and Kaia Sedai had started there, and they had been too short lived.

He squeezed his eyes shut. How many years had it been since Kaia's death, and he hadn't rebonded? There was no question he was in the prime of his life, and in spite of his association with Mirin, he'd been entrusted firstly with the office of Master of Training, and now Gaidin Captain. There was no good reason he hadn't found another sister to protect, aside from the ghost of Kaia. Without question, he had failed her. He had failed Mirin too, as illogical as that was.

The haze of daydreaming ended as Rav arrived at his destination. Unfamiliar with the Green Ajah as he was, the head of each Ajah generally resided in the same place on the fifth floor of their respective hall. He pulled straight his fancloak, adjusted his pin of office on his lapel, and made a futile attempt to tame her hair. When did I become the vain one? Confident he looked every part the warrior he could be, Ravak knocked on Miahala Sedai's doors. His hands returned to the hilts of his two swords as he waited for her to answer.

As the door swung open, Rav dipped low into a deep bow, as respectful towards a former Amyrlin as he would have been to the present one. "Miahala Sedai. You requested a Gaidin for your protection, and I present myself as your bodyguard."

[Bella]

Miahala knew instantly that the knock on her door belonged to the Gaidin assigned to join her on this trip.

She knew this because she had requested very politely--because contrary to popular belief, she did know how to cordial--that said Gaidin meet her at her office on this day and at this time. For this was the day that she intended to depart. Her request had given time for such assignment to be made before the scheduled meeting, and she was pleased with the knock.

Right on time, she reflected as she signed a final note about matters to be conducted in her absence. She had written so many such notes over the years, since she was so frequently leaving the Tower. One might say she had a touch of wanderlust, but she just felt that she knew her calling and pursued it. While there was no lack of evidence to say there were enemies inside the walls, there were battles without to attend.

And she happily--more happily than any sane person should--attended them.

Setting aside the folded letter, she left her desk and headed to the door. She now looked to be a woman of her forties, still statuesque and handsome, though with threads of grey still being tell-tales in her auburn hair. Said hair was, as it usually was, presently braided and hanging down her back. She kept it long because she liked it, and never bowed to fashion, and now braided to be utilitarian.

Since she was preparing for a journey, she was not dressed as she often was while at home. No dresses today, but dark green breeches and vest over a grey blouse with sturdy riding boots to top it off. Hanging inside her shirt were the tokens of the past, all the many varied ones.

When she opened the door, however, she had a moment of pause. Not that she allowed the expression to show--she was far too old and experienced for that--but she was surprised. She thought for a moment that she'd been wrong about who it was, and wondered what the Gaidin Captain would have need of her for...

Then he introduced his place there and she recollected that he was himself unbonded, and a Shienaran, as she recalled. That made him rather well-suited, now didn't it?

"Ravak Gaidin," she greeted with the respect due his rank and office, inclining her head to him although that sharp blue-green gaze remained on his eyes as she did so. "Please, come in." She stepped back and held open the door to permit him entrance. "Thank you for responding to my request."

[Craig]

Ravak

Ravak found himself stepping into Miahala's sanctum with a touch of trepidation.

There was nothing unusual about the Gaidin Captain coming to speak with an Aes Sedai within their own chambers. It wasn't that which gave him pause, nor the seniority of her rank. He'd been inside the rooms of at least three active Heads of Ajah, and various Sitters besides. In fact, when it came to rank, only three people stood above him. But that was sort of the problem. Ravak served Riahana, and the Mistress of Arms was Miahala's great-granddaughter.

He felt like he was meeting someone's mother, except that he was five years old. Oh, and she was the Amyrlin since before you arrived at the Tower. Maybe he was more like a two year old.

Rav dipped a second needless bow after entering, embarrassment and awkwardness quivering inside him like a bowstring tied between his throat and his stomach. His grip tightened on the hilts on his swords, knuckles turning a bone white from the effort. Despite that, he forced a sort of casualness into his voice. "Thank you for the request. I haven't been home for quite a long time now."

Instinctively, the Gaidin Captain scanned the room for danger, yet also felt guilty about his perceived prying. Miahala's personal effects and furnishings were her own affair, and not anything he should be judging her on. Ravak tried forgetting the details as soon as his check was over, content that there were no Fades lurking in the shadows, and turned his attention back to the Green sister.

"Your letter stated that we would be gone for a couple of weeks," Rav stated neutrally. He had no certainty about what that inferred, not knowing the Captain-General well enough, but he had guesses. "Enough time to do a quick sweep of the Blightborder. Or venture into the Blight?" He sought an answer in Miahala's blue-green gaze, but imperious Aes Sedai serenity was all he saw. Rav spread his hands in contrition, palms sticky from being clenched around the leather hilts. "Regardless, I'm happy to serve the Tower in whatever way possible."

[Bella]

She observed him as keenly as he observed the room, and wondered at his thoughts. The grip on his hilts did not pass her notice, but he otherwise maintained himself easily. Mia had shut the door behind them and now leaned back against her desk, at ease and impassive, her long-fingered hands laced before her.

There was no danger in the room, of course, excepting the two of them. He would not have seen much else, in truth, for there was little by way of "personal touches" or personality. It had been years since her resurrection, but having lots most of her things more than once because of Tower destruction or, you know, death... Well, there was little material possession that gave her pause or she saw the need to keep. Her room was therefore very practical, neat and organized, subtly but elegantly appointed. And could have belonged to anyone.

The only things she kept were what she wore around her neck, which had been buried with her and thus returned with her.

"Of course," she said smoothly. They were all but happy to serve the Tower, for that was what they were all here for. "The two weeks was a cautious assumption, for I do not truly know how long this task will take. I didn't want to give a number too short and give the wrong impression, but I won't say it won't take longer."

Ever the Aes Sedai, her answer danced around the straight line, although she was more straightforward than most.

"I have received a message from an old friend who commands an outpost on the Shienaran border of the Blight. It does not detail his troubles very much, but he has requested my aid. There is trouble that he not able to investigate, and has reason to worry that even if he finds source, he cannot rectify." For now, she did not include the connection to her long ago past. She would explain more later, but this was just the briefing. "I do not deny a friend when called, but more details will not be forthcoming until we arrive.

"That being said," she continued and then paused, a faint smile turning the corners of her mouth and making her eyes glitter slightly, "I have been told I have a tendency to attract trouble when back home in the borderlands and so I decided to not attend alone." She paused again, her humor faint but present. "I have prepared to depart today. Do you have any questions I have not addressed?"

[Craig]

Ravak

Ravak wondered what "trouble" meant in Miahala Sedai's opinion. Was the Captain-General looking to assuage his fears over being out of the Tower for two or so weeks, or was she underplaying some danger she knew about, but was unwilling to share. A Green heading to the Blightborder. There was, of course, going to be some danger, but not anything dramatic. Otherwise, this little expedition would include more than just the two of them. Regardless, he had to take the task he'd been given, even if he had assigned himself to this duty.

Ravak pulled a glove out from behind his sword belt and began tugging it on his hand with the shorn finger. "Not really," he asked, only to add "I assume we're Travelling there. Will we need horses, or are we going straight there?" The glove was exceptionally snug. He'd have to buy a bigger pair from somewhere soon. "I've got my own mount ready, just in case. Shall I prepare yours, Miahala Sedai?" It was just an assumption that the Green had a mount, but it seemed likely. Saldaean steeds rated amongst the best in the world, and it seemed like most Saldaeans (and Tairens) were horse people.

[Bella]

Miahala heard his question with inward amusement. Of course, he did not know the woman and so he couldn't realize it was an amusing question in the first place, but there was almost never an occasion where anyone but Mia took care of her steed. Only in the moments of utmost urgency or her being incapacitated did she relent on that.

"We shall be taking horses," she replied, "because while we Travel close to our destination, I do not know if we will need to ride to another location. I would rather be prepared with our steeds than without them." She straightened up and turned back to her desk, double-checking a couple pieces of correspondence before nodding to herself in satisfaction that all was prepared.

She faced Ravak again with a small bow of her head. "Thank you, but I shall prepare my own horse." She moved to the sturdy mahogany bench on the wall. It was well-made with artistic carvings, nothing ostentatious or overly elaborate. On it was a set of leather saddlebags, again well-crafted but not pretentious. She lifted it and put it over her shoulder, like a woman who'd been traveling all her life.

Oh, yes, she had.

"I will however walk down to the stables with you," she said, her face unreadable although she wondered what he thought of her. She didn't necessarily care, but she knew she often did not present like many other Aes Sedai. Truth was, she never had. She was not unique per se, but she was not common either.

Moving to the door, they were shortly in the hallway. Her office was locked and warded, and they were walking. She was not one who felt the need to fill the air with idle conversation, but she did determine to offer some information. "My horse, Seren, is bred from a long line of horses I cared for and trained myself. I trained his grand-sire and grand-dam, although not his parents because, well, I was dead."

She said it remarkably casually, because how else did one tackle that? It was what it was. Answers about it had continued to evade her, and she had all but given up. At least, it was no longer an active pursuit. Much of the scarring she had resurrected with had faded over the handful of years since she came back to the Tower.

"Anyways. After my return, I discovered him at the local farm where my lines were stabled. I chose to train him to be my present steed, but stallions can be...particular, so I prefer to manage him myself unless there's a specific reason I'm unable." She glanced side-long at him with that difficult-to-discern flicker in her eyes. "So it's nothing personal."

[Craig]

Ravak

Is that a joke? It was his first reaction to the off-handed comment about being dead, but then he recalled the rumours. Miahala had been dead, yet was somehow again alive once more. This all predated his time at the Grey Tower, and he'd never seen the need to ask about it. Curiosity struck him now, though, but he wasn't about to just come out and ask. Kaia had instilled at least a little decorum in his mannerism around Aes Sedai.

"No offence taken," he replied. And he took none. Horses were not on his list of interests, but it offered some insight into the Captain-General. She was both careful and caring. Careful about Seren, her steed, whom she would have occasion to trust with her life if she often took excursions into the Blight. And caring, having raised a lineage of horses herself. It probably shouldn't have come as a shock. Miahala was a great, great-grandmother after all? Tia had called her "great Mema" or something of the sort. Would there be another great added onto that in due course? Ravak could barely fathom the notion of grandchildren, let alone great-great-great-grandchildren.

He worked his other glove on with a struggle, but finally both of his hands were protected from the impending cold and hold onto the hilt of his swords again. He would have offered to carry Miahala's saddle bags, but honestly, she seemed at ease hoisting them herself. She emanated a tangible aura of command.

As they descended the staircases of the Grey Tower, the Gaidin Captain could see the visible effects of that presence in the way people reacted. People nodded respectfully at them as they passed, with bows or curtseys or nods of the head, depending on the individual and their rank. But it was to Miahala they first would react to, if they saw them both at the same time. And if they saw the Shienaran first, they made a hasty recalculation when the Captain-General stepped into view.

He scratched at his beard with the stitching on his fingertips. He couldn't go the rest of the journey like this, quiet and unassuming. It was his duty to put himself first, and he couldn't do that riding on the hem of the Saldaean's dress.

"Tell me Miahala--" --he risked omitting the honorific -- "--how did you deal with your family going off to become novices? Kaira's gone off to become a sister now, and even those she's just on the other side of these grounds, I feel... lonely. And adrift." He offered a pained grin. "I guess after sixteen years, you get used to the noise, and get used to being needed." He gave a half-hearted chuckle, but it was insincere.

OOC: *idly wonders how many posts they can do before getting to the Borderlands*

[Bella]

Miahala was an observant woman. A life of near-death experiences--and one into-death experience--had a habit of doing that to a person. So she noticed the way people reacted to her, but she didn't react much back. The Green might give a polite nod here and there as needed, respectful, but it was strange to her. Even after all the decades. What would her farm-life family think to see her now?

She didn't miss the dropping of "Sedai" either, but it didn't bother her. She just cast him a faint sidelong smile. He was Gaidin Captain, and no one to have to bow to her. And if they were to travel together, no need to be stuffy.

His question, however, drew out a true smile. It was still small, but it was noticeable and it was genuine and it was sympathetic. "It is quite the change," she agreed. "Bear in mind, I had more than the one. The first several were close enough together that by the time Rynny moved to the warder yards, I was raising Sadira and then the twins. I still had the twins when Sadira joined the Novice hall.

"It wasn't until, at least, Tarvin left for Shienar--as Tianna had left before him for Saldea--to find his own path and livelihood there that my life was bereft of children. It would be nigh on decades before Haeden was born. And I did not live to see him enter the Yards..." That drew the smile briefly to a frown as she thought with regret to dying when he was still young. He was cared for, but still young when orphaned.

Mia did not linger on that point, idly brushing an errant strand of silver-threaded auburn hair behind her ear. How had that escaped, anyways? "I cannot give you a map to how to get through it," she said. "Every parent finds their own way to handle the quiet. New jobs, new goals for our lives, new hobbies even... We find something else to make important, though we never stop being parents.

"After my twins had left, I threw myself into being a Green. I traveled a great deal more, found more wrongs to right and foes to challenge. I am not sure that's the sanest or safest response of course, but it was mine." This last was said with a quiet laugh. She was a woman of passions, but what was usually shown to others was economic and considered.

[Craig]

Ravak

Ravak nodded. He sort of knew that something needed to fill the void left by Kaira's absence. He should have sought out a new hobby like Miahala had suggested, but instead he sat in his office working, or in his rooms reading. Whether it was a rut or just a routine, he had a hard time changing gears.

"Well, I don't believe a new job is forthcoming, unless you know something I don't." He didn't look to Miahala for confirmation; Riahana was the Mistress of Arms, he was the Gaidin Captain, and Julian was the Master of Training. None of them seemed set to change roles any time soon.

He frowned at the middle distance. "Plus, I don't think another bondmate is going to be forthcoming any time soon, so there's not much opportunity to escape the city." He'd long ago accepted that Kaia had been his one and only compatriot in those regards, and he'd squandered that gift. "Once you garner a reputation for making bad decisions, well..." He just shrugged. Maybe in the distant future there would be a young enough Aes Sedai who wouldn't know anything about Kaia or Mirin. Assuming I'm not grey and old by then.

"...though we never stop being parents." The thought buoyed his mood, and the scowl on his face lessened a touch. The Light knew how he was supposed to keep Kaira under control when she was as headstrong as her mother, and no longer under his roof. Plus she knew precisely how to butter him up and make him pliable. Maybe being a Novice would help temper the fire in her belly.

Rav hadn't missed the regret in Miahala's tone. He watched her as they walked along, careful not to tread on any subject too sensitive. "Children are resilient. You can see that in the children that come to us for training. Take my daughter as an example. Single father. Darkfriend as a mother." Internally he winced at besmirching Mirin's memory, as ludicrous as that was. "Yet she survived. Thrived, even. I think we all do what we can for them, but the Wheel has its own way of working things out."