Solitude Wanted, but Friendship Found [attn; Jenn]

[Avyra]

Avyra heard the door open, and she barely glanced over to see Zeen's massive form looming in the doorway, almost taking up the entire space. Great. She had woken him. He didn't move close to her, however, and he walked as though he thought he would frighten her. Slowly, he leaned against the wall, guiding himself down with it to sit on the floor. Avyra raised an eyebrow but said nothing, clutching her sheets. Did he think he was going to scare her? She was already awake, and he wasn't exactly the most threatening person she had met, even though he was over three times her size. He didn't move towards her. She was shaking with fear, but not from him. In fact, she seemed to relax a bit when he entered. “I am sorry, doveling,” he said quietly, finally, once he had seemed to figure out that she was awake and watching him.. “I have nightmares as well.” She pulled her covers closer to her body, trying to hide her small form. The blanket was so thick, it didn't even look like there was anyone in the spot where her body should have been. "I get them almost every night, Asha'man Zeen," she said softly. "Its nothing to worry yourself with. I'm sorry I woke you." Her voice shook slightly. She watched him. The Captain General of the Green Ajah was all that she had imagined him to be, and even more. Powerful, fierce, and brave, along with a little flirty. But also very kind. And how did she repay his kindness? By sobbing into covers and shaking from nightmares that should only plague children. She had never been more pathedic in her life. "Asha'man Zeen..." she paused. "Why did you take me with you? I... surely I don't deserve this treatment." She paused again, hiding her face. "I'm not cut out for any of this," she mumbled.

[Jenn]

Zeen

The Amadician watched the Accepted watching him, and for long moments, he let her words hang in the air between them. His fingers curled inward a little as he settled further against the wall, a faint squeak of noise sounding. He leaned his head back until he was more comfortable.

“You did not wake me,” he countered her assumption quietly, silver-grey eyes seeking her outline in the darkness. Irritation flickered across his face; why was he trying to find her in the dark? Why did he not simply light the bloody lamp? A small flame burst into existence as he pressed a flow of saidin against the wick, light leaping out from the table across from him. He closed the glass case and the world jumped into illuminated clarity, the room bathed in a gentle ruddy glow.

“It is as I said earlier, Avyra. I took you with me because I felt as you did, once.” Zeen smiled a little. “I cannot promise you the answers or the purpose you seek, but I can offer you something different. Things are simpler here. If we encounter Shadowspawn, we destroy them. They are evil. Very little thought is required and there are blessedly few questions about morality involved.” He shrugged slightly, his expression turning rueful. “I admit that bringing you here with me perhaps was not the wisest decision on my part, but blowing Shadowspawn up into itty bitty pieces always makes me feel better. Perhaps it will be the same for you. Perhaps you are cut out for this. You will not know until you try.”

The Asha’man looked down at his hands and flexed them a few times, reassuring himself that he could still move before he spoke again. “I have nightmares every night. Sometimes, they even come when I am awake.” One side of his mouth lifted. “Sometimes it is my bondmate that has them, but I feel them as if they were my own. I am sorry that you have them as well,” he said again, voice soft. “What haunts your sleep so, doveling?” He quickly realized that that was a touch too familiar. “You do not have to tell me if you do not wish to.”

[Avyra]

“You did not wake me,” Zeen's voice answered. She could barely make him out, until the lamp flickered to light on its own. Avyra instinctively ducked further into the covers, watching him. He was still seated, shirtless, watching her without making a move to come closer. Did he have to be in here shirtless? Not that it was bad, but Avyra couldn't help but be distracted by those wonderful shoulders. He explained with a smile that he had brought her here for a simple reason: that she was cut out of this and that he knew this helped him and that she might need it too. She was touched. This stranger had gone out of his way to help the likes of her. “I have nightmares every night. Sometimes, they even come when I am awake," he continued. “Sometimes it is my bondmate that has them, but I feel them as if they were my own. I am sorry that you have them as well. What haunts your sleep so, doveling?” He hesitated. “You do not have to tell me if you do not wish to.” "I... doveling?" She balled up a bit of sheet in her hand, thinking. "I... most of the times I can't remember them. All I remember is that they're bad. Sometimes, when I can remember, its about my father leaving my mother basically to die. My family slowly dying. The Tower being shattered to bits. Trollocs, sometimes. My friends being salughtered." Terric dead in the dirt. She closed her eyes, shaking. "I just want it to be over. Everything. I... I'm sorry you had to take such a small, weak, fragile little thing along on such a mission. I'll just break in half. We haven't even met a trolloc and I'm breaking."

[Jenn]

Zeen

Zeen made a curt gesture with his fingers, as if attempting to cut himself away from his emotions. “You are an Accepted of the Grey Tower. You can channel. The things that mothers speak of to frighten their children are our reality. Worse things than they could possibly imagine. You faced the Arches. Given all that, I do not think nightmares are entirely out of the realm of possibility, do you not agree?”

It was a rhetorical question, not meant for her to answer. The Amadician continued after a pause. “I am the Captain-General of the Green Ajah. If I thought you were truly too weak or fragile, I would not have taken you. The Blight is not a joking matter. Being small or tiny has no bearing whatsoever on who you are.” And that was the truth. The Lady had been about Avyra’s height and when those luminous green eyes had fixed on him, it was all he could do not to squirm and fidget. “This is not a mission. Think of it as,” and here the corners of his mouth quirked upwards, “an educational excursion of sorts.”

His expression sobered. “I will stay here until you sleep, if you like. You will need your rest, doveling. We leave after first light in the morning.”

---

They were no more than an hour’s ride from the Citadel when Zeen felt the first traces of excitement and anticipation well up. He was no tracker, but he had learned to recognize some telltale signs of Shadowspawn passing. Trollocs were not known for their subtlety and stealth, and as he studied the marks, he pointed them out to Avyra.

“If we do encounter them, it will not be long. How fare you with weather weaves? Are you able to change the direction of the wind? If you can, we will be able to worry less about whether or not we are downwind as we approach them.” The Asha’man grinned then. “Of course, a fireball or an earthquake also has the same desired effect.”

OOC: Whether Z stayed or didn’t, totally up to you. How soon they encounter baddies is also up to you. Let’s blow stuff up!

[Avyra]

He began to talk, and she listened as he explained that he would not have brought her if she wasn't capable of what he was asking. She seemed to swell a bit, just a bit, but didn't reply. She didn't know if it was his praise or the fact that she was actually being treated as an equal that caused it. Maybe both. “I will stay here until you sleep, if you like. You will need your rest, doveling. We leave after first light in the morning.” Avyra nodded, settling back down on her pillow. "Okay, Asha'man Zeen." She looked over at him again. "Please stay. I think it'll help." And it did. Once the light was off she drifted off easily. --- How can he be grinning? Avyra had never felt so jumpy in her life, keeping her horse close to his as they rode into the Blight. She still didn't know what they were doing here, besides having "fun." Well, an odd definition of fun. As it wasn't fun for her. When Zeen mentioned Trollocs, she stiffened a bit, and turned to look at him. "I'm... not bad at weather but not good either. I... have never done wind shifts so I don't know. Fireball maybe. Sorry Asha'man Zee-" She was cut off by a roar, which caused her to nearly fall off her saddle. She turned behind them and saw the huge creature, a Trolloc only her nightmares should have been able to produce. Avyra squeaked, drawing in the One Power by sheer fright, taking and weaving a mess of Air and Fire together to attempt to score a few hits on the creature with her makeshift fireball mess.

[Jenn]

Zeen

The Accepted’s squeak was possibly one of the most endearing things Zeen had ever had the pleasure of hearing, but the Captain-General wisely said nothing and seized saidin instead. The Void kept his face free of any and all emotion, though amusement still lurked behind the surface of his eyes. He did not think that Avyra would appreciate that being brought up, much less mentioned, and so the Asha’man turned to regard the Trollocs as if he had hours and not mere seconds to react.

There were a handful, not many. Scouting party, by the looks of it. Fortunate for himself and the doveling, and very very unfortunate for the creatures. He felt the rush of heat as Avyra’s weaves ignited parts of the towering monstrosity, the stench of burning hair and... something else foul abruptly assaulting his nose. The small girl was in a panic - understandably so - but it looked as if her flows had done a moderate amount of damage. The Amadician looked it all over with a critical eye. Large swaths of fur had been singed off, some of the burns going well beyond the surface of what passed for its skin. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Earth leapt into his hands like a living thing, the ground beneath the partially burnt beast liquefying. Feet that ended in what were more claws than toes sank into a neat pool of what resembled quicksand, Zeen returning the ground to its natural state only when the Trolloc was nearly hip deep and subsequently trapped in an immovable vice. It squawked and howled and spat what he assumed were curses at him in the guttural sounds that passed for the Trolloc language. Flat grey eyes looked at it with the same disdainful curiosity as one would a buzzing gnat, a flick of his hand silencing the Shadow-tainted thing with a gag of Air.

Zeen split his flows, thick tendrils of Fire seeking prey. They engulfed the other Trollocs in writhing flames, the ensuing snap and roar of heat, deafening. The sounds that reached his ears were as music to him and he could not stop the faint smile that ghosted across his lips. The beasts blazed so hotly that not even ash remained; the only evidence of their passing was the charred, blistered smears against the strange sick-orange soil of the Blight.

“Now, doveling,” Zeen began matter-of-factly, his tone lacking inflection and warmth. The Void made it so. “I would like for you to make your weaves again, with more precision and accuracy. Do not worry, the Trolloc cannot hurt you.”

[Avyra]

Avyra stayed where she was on her horse, frozen as Zeen took out the creatures with rivers of pure fire from his fingertips and shifted the ground to fit his will. She was numb, the entire thing happening so fast she could hardly register what was happening until it was over and only one creature, stuck in the trap of the stone ground, remained.

Zeen told her to kill the beast.

It took her a moment to register what he had said. Shaking, she watched the horible creature struggle and claw at the ground, leaving deep scores where its talons scraped at the sand.

"I..." Her voice broke and shook. She couldn't do this. She looked back at it, but she knew this wasn't an animal. This was something even more inhuman, something that wouldn't show her peace if freed.

She paused before weaving fire and air once more, carefully placing the weaves as accurately as she could with her shaking hands. Then she struck, watching the creature's charred form whither and scream as the life left its body.

"Its done." She tried to keep her hands from shaking and tears from her eyes, but she failed as she cluthed the reigns. Zeen must not know how weak she was. He must not. "Asha'man Zeen."

[Jenn]

Zeen

He pretended he did not see the tears, or hear the quaver in her voice, but abrupt remorse prickled at the edges of the Void. Zeen stared blankly at Avyra for several long moments, bracing himself as he released saidin. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “Very good, Accepted.”

Light, why had he thought that this would be a good idea? It was evident now, that it had not been. He had not expected her to react in this manner... and yet, how had he thought she would react? She was an Accepted... not Green Ajah. This was the Blight. Those had been Trollocs... nightmare from the Shadow made flesh and real. Light!

The Captain-General took the reins of her small mare, guiding it with one hand, the other on the reins of his own gelding. Avyra did not release her death grip on them and at a complete loss as to what to do, Zeen lead them back towards the Citadel in awkward, heavy silence.

They were still a little ways off from reaching what would be home for another few days. The land around them was not quite so diseased and signs of normalcy were returning; small shrubs, patches of grass and moss, rocks dotted with colourful lichen. It buoyed his spirits some, but he kept careful watch over Avyra, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he floundered with what to do.

Zeen frowned, a kernel of an idea coming to mind. It... was not much, but it was all he had and better than nothing. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a simple silver coin. “Wait a moment, Avyra, please.” The Amadician held out his palm to her, letting her see the small disc of metal. He seized saidin again, a fraction of what he could hold, and began working flows of Earth and Fire into the metal. He went slower than he normally would, reshaping and remolding the coin into what he wanted. Gradually, a clearer picture formed, a... tiny bird of some kind.

“Hold out your hand,” he said solemnly, letting the metal cool before dropping the object into her palm. “It is not an entirely accurate reproduction, but... it is a dove, for you, doveling. Thank you, for accompanying me into the Blight. I... am sorry it was difficult.”

[Avyra]

Avyra sat in the saddle, numb to the world as she shook. What was she thinking? Coming out here, fighting Trollocs? She had just ashamed herself and proved to the Captain of the Green Ajah that she was nothing. That she would always be nothing. Why couldn't she be brave? Why couldn't she be big and strong? Why couldn't she be flashy and noticeable? Why did she have to be so awful, so small and weak, so cowardly. No one would notice if she disappeared out here. No one would care. “Wait a moment, Avyra, please.” Zeen's voice broke through her sour thoughts. The Asha'man stopped his gelding, reaching in his pocket to pull out a coin. She blinked fuzzy tears from her gaze. What was he doing? Then, he hid it again, bringing it back out in the shape of a small dove. “Hold out your hand." She did so and he gently dropped it into her small palm. “It is not an entirely accurate reproduction, but... it is a dove, for you, doveling. Thank you, for accompanying me into the Blight. I... am sorry it was difficult.” Avyra sniffed softly, her lips pulling into a small smile, blinking away her tears from red, puffy eyes. "I... thank you. For giving me a chance. For noticing me. No one ever notices me." She paused. "I'm sorry I was such a failure. I'm sorry I can't do this." She shook slightly, then threw her arms around him the best she could. "I'm sorry I failed you. You gave me a chance and I failed..." She paused. "Why did you bring me here?" Surely he couldn't have thought her to he anything great.

[Jenn]

Zeen

Zeen sighed quietly, long thick fingers going to scrub through his hair. “Despite what you think, you did, in fact, ‘do this’...” his voice trailed off as he gestured behind them, the curt motion of his fingers encompassing the entirety of the Blight and what had happened with the Trolloc patrol.

He froze as the doveling’s arms went around him, his thoughts scattering into the recesses of his mind. What-what was she doing? The Amadician leaned back slightly, silver-grey eyes narrowing as he studied the Accepted’s face. His body remained rigid and stiff as she... embraced... him. Was Avyra hugging him? Why in the bloody Light would she do that?

The Asha’man glanced around, acutely uncomfortable, before sighing again. One hand lifted to pat awkwardly at her hair as he did his best not to fidget. “You did not fail me,” he responded softly. “I brought you here because I thought it might help you see that you are none of these things that you believe yourself to be. You faced down a Trolloc, Avyra. There are Aes Sedai at the Tower - both Towers - that cannot make that claim. And you did so while still an Accepted.”

He paused for a moment to let that sink in before the corners of his eyes crinkled, his expression discomfited as he gave his shoulders a pointed shrug. “You may let go of me now.”