What Use Our Work [Attn: Accepted Liaran]

[Bella]

[subtitle]Nykkolaia Zeran Sedai[/subtitle]
Valadin was traveling again, and Nykkolaia had remained at the Tower.

She knew she was not combat-oriented, so when it was clear that a mission of his for the Green would end in some sort of fight, she usually chose to remain behind. It bothered her to feel the bond stretched over such a distance, but it could not be helped. She knew that she would not be of any great use to him in such situations. She could serve the Tower and her Ajah better here.

Today's tasks found her in the library. It seemed that most of her brethren was here already, but she had spent plenty of her time in this place and could find her way around very easily.

The reclusive, scarred Blue found the book she sought and a quiet table towards the back of the stacks. People moved through the aisles, some reading while they stood--examining books they had just pulled down--and others carried those tomes to armchairs and other tables, but most avoided her. Not that there was malice or grudge between she and any of them, but there was little camaraderie either.

And so it was that she found herself scanning the pages of her book, then closing it, rising and going to the shelves to find another. Somewhat lost in her task, little aware of those around her...

[Alianora]

Accepted Liaran

Liaran's dark eyes glanced at the spine of each book on the shelf in front of her, searching for one book in particular. For once, the Accepted had not come to the library to study, or at least, not for any class. Instead, she was trying to find information on the Ajahs, some of which she didn't understand as well as she would have liked. It embarrassed her to feel that way at a time when many of the girls in the Accepted quarters already knew what their choice would be, so the Sea Folk woman had decided she would be far better off searching in books instead of asking for help directly and displaying her ignorance. The book she wanted, a collection of essays on the various Ajahs by their members, sounded promising, but Liaran had been through at least three shelves without any luck finding it, though it should have been placed in the first shelf she checked. She scowled as she continued to check titles, eventually placing a finger on each spine to help her keep track of where she was on the shelf. Determined to find the thing, the Accepted wasn't really aware that she was no longer alone in this section. Near the end of a shelf, Liaran finally found what she was searching for and slid her hand over to pull it from the shelf. As she pulled the book free, she realized that her action had pushed aside someone else's hand, a hand Liaran hadn't even realized was there.

She winced as she looked up to study the owner of the hand. Unfortunately for Liaran, the woman was not wearing the uniform of any of the learning ranks, making her either an Aes Sedai or Gaidin who might very well be angry with her for her lack of attention. "I'm sorry for hitting you," the Accepted said. "I was focused on the books and did not notice you were reaching for one." Liaran hoped the apology would be accepted. Some of the Aes Sedai had little tolerance for even the smallest error, and since she had never before seen this woman, Liaran was not sure what to expect from her. She shifted her feet nervously, hoping she hadn't accidentally just earned herself a trip to the Mistress of Novices.

[Bella]

The hand was, admittedly, a surprise.

Nykk turned her attention to the body belonging to the hand and saw the colorfully banded dress of an Accepted, who she could now easily imagined was very worried. It had been decades since she had worn the dress herself, but that didn't mean she forgot what it was like to be that age and that rank and live in quiet terror of those...fearful, mystery-shrouded Aes Sedai.

Although she might look frightful, Nykkolaia was not in the habit of actively trying to scare people as a way of life. She pulled her hands back and folded them, one scarred and one not, before her.

"No harm done, child," she said. Her affect was, as ever, flat. Her voice measured. It was not quite the "serenity" so oft boasted of in Aes Sedai lore, but it was a strong appearance of impassivity. She was not upset, nor angry. In fact, she did not appear to care at all, and on this particular matter, she didn't. No harm had been done, and it was clearly not blatant disrespect.

Her pale eyes drifted down to the book in the girl's hands. In a moment of slightly unguarded curiosity, she said, "Curious about the Ajahs?"

[Alianora]

Liaran

Liaran let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, aware that her lack of attention could have had a far more unpleasant result. The Accepted placed her book under her arm and was intending to walk away when she heard the scarred woman's strangely distant voice asking her about the Ajahs.Aes Sedai, then, she realized, wondering why she asked. It wasn't all that unusual for members of the Ajahs to show interest in an Accepted or Dedicated who seemed promising, but Liaran hardly considered herself to belong in that group. She looked at the woman, idly wondering what had happened to cause the scarring she couldn't help but notice.

"Yes, I'm trying to do some research on the Ajahs," Liaran admitted, tugging at her sleeves as she spoke. She had hoped to do her studying alone, and wasn't entirely happy to have to explain her problem to an Aes Sedai she didn't even know. "I know that as an Accepted, I should really have found a deeper interest in a few of the Ajahs, but so far I've only been able to eliminate some. I haven't found that any of them stand out to me as being right, and I don't quite understand two of the remaining Ajahs at all." She paused to glance down at her book before returning her dark gaze to the other woman's face. "I'm hoping the book will be informative." She stopped herself there, certain that the Aes Sedai couldn't have any actual interest in her studies, and waited to be dismissed so she could find a place to study her book in peace.

[Bella]

The young woman sang a familiar song. So many of the Tower's Accepted and Dedicated did not, in fact, feel a calling. Many did, but many did not, and those who did not felt they were somehow lacking for it. Like they were expected to have it and sorrowing that they did not, but when one was young, it was so hard to know one's self.

Nykk had been more hamstrung at that than most, given the near year she had spent with...Master. (She had long grown out of thinking of him as such, but she had never known his name. Even later, when she... Well. It didn't matter now.)

"Choosing an Ajah is an important decision in the life of an Accepted," Nykk said. "Once chosen, it is nigh on impossible to undo or change, so one must have a care. Many bear a strong calling, immediately know their direction. Many are as yourself and do not." She gestured to the book. "That is a good start. I read it myself as a youth. However, if you wish to speak of your choices, I have this hour free."

Why did she even offer? She wasn't sure. It hadn't been in Nykk's nature to be teacher or advisor to young people, but every now and then, well, things happened.

[Alianora]

Liaran

The Aes Sedai's offer to discuss her choices with her was not something Liaran had expected. Her dark eyes widened slightly with her surprise. "I'd appreciate that, if you're certain you have time," Liaran answered. She still intended to read the book she was carrying, but Liaran couldn't turn down the chance to discuss the Ajahs with someone who had already experienced making that choice. Ajah choice was a frequent topic of discussion between the Accepted, but all Liaran ever seemed to hear during those conversations was definite declarations for one Ajah or another. Occasionally one of the braver girls would admit to being torn between two possibilities, but for most of them, it hardly seemed to be a choice at all. She'd never heard anyone admit to being as lost as she was, guided only by what felt like a growing list of Talents she did not possess and callings that did not interest her. Her very short list of possible Ajahs consisted of two, both of which Liaran felt she lacked enough knowledge about to be able to make any sort of decision.

Liaran looked up at the Aes Sedai, unsure what to do with herself. She was well aware of her place as an Accepted and didn't feel comfortable suggesting that they sit down somewhere. Should she introduce herself? She didn't know that the Aes Sedai particularly cared what her name was; she'd met plenty of them who called every learning rank "child" and seemed unable, or possibly unwilling, to distinguish one novice or Accepted from another. Liaran decided it would be best to let the Aes Sedai ask, if it were of interest to her. She did have one question for the other woman, however, one that was rather important considering the topic of their conversation. "What Ajah are you?" she asked the Aes Sedai, curious about the answer. If Liaran had to guess, she would have said Brown, just from the woman's presence in the library, but she was well aware that being in the library was hardly something limited to those of the Brown. She rather hoped for a Red or a Blue, the two on her list, but Liaran did not expect to be lucky enough to encounter someone from either of those Ajahs. Both were smaller groups whose members were frequently out of the Tower, making it rather difficult to find someone from either within the Tower walls. She waited patiently for an answer, though inwardly the Accepted was quite eager to learn the Ajah of the Aes Sedai who was willing to discuss the differences between them with her.

[Bella]

OOC: I'm sorry I took so long!

Even though she was still wondering why she'd offered, she knew that it wasn't a bad thing she had. The girl looked just as surprised, but Aes Sedai rarely offered such things without request, didn't they? She gestured to one of the tables with its empty chairs, inviting them to a seat while they spoke and then going to sit.

"I am a Blue," she replied once they were seated. She wondered which choices the Accepted before her had narrowed down to, if any at all. It would at least be easier to discuss a couple of choices rather than the entirety of the Amyrlin's stole. "My name is Nykkolaia Zeran." Not that the girl would be able to use her name, but she should at least know who she was speaking to.

After a moment, she went on, "And who are you, child? Have you narrowed your possibilities down any?"

[Alianora]

Liaran

Liaran followed the Aes Sedai to the table the other woman had chosen, adjusting her sleeves as she took her seat. She had rarely been as pleased as she was to find her earlier guess that the Aes Sedai was Brown to be incorrect. Briefly, she wondered why the Aes Sedai remained in the Tower, since she was of the Blue. It wasn't impossible to find a Blue in the Tower, but Liaran at least had not been successful in finding anyone from that Ajah to speak with until now. "I'm Liaran," she told the Aes Sedai, deliberately omitting her clan name and salt name as had become typical for her since her return. "The difficulty I have with the Ajahs is that I only seem to be able to eliminate the ones that I know I am unsuited for. By doing that, I've found that my choice is most likely between your Ajah and the Red Ajah, but I really don't know very much about either. The few Blues I have met seemed to be involved in a variety of personal projects, and I could never understand what they had in common that would make them choose Blue over any other Ajah."

Liaran played with the edges of her sleeves, hating how ignorant she felt. This wasn't something she'd ever bring up with one of the other Accepted, and to voice her problems in front of an Aes Sedai left the Accepted feeling rather intimidated. "Is there something that all of the Blue Ajah shares?"

[Bella]

The furthest corners of Nykk's mouth pulled up in what might have hinted at possibly being a smile--that was how slight it was, but the very observant might have caught it. "Know that your question is perhaps the most common that I have been asked when speaking to learning ranks considering the Blue." Those brave enough to actually ask questions always asked it.

She paused and considered her answer, what she had told others in the past and if any new observations could be added. "The simplest explanation is that we are all inexorably drawn to the causes of justice," she began, "although it is, as ever, more complicated than that. To simply say 'justice' offers such a broad range that it generally gives the image you took: we are not united.

"In many ways, we are not. The Blue has threads and themes that can bind, but not like, say, the Greens or the Yellows. The Blues pursue individual paths to seek justice for people, and to advise on what is just. Unlike the Grey, it is not about achieving peace, precisely, though that can be a byproduct. Unlike the Greens, we do not look to military solutions first, but we will fight if needed."

She paused, reflecting on the fact that she was probably the least combat-capable in the entire Ajah. "So, I suppose you could say the thing that binds us is the willingness to take on a cause, to make it right, and use whatever means are before us."

[Alianora]

Liaran

A small frown crossed Liaran's face as she listened intently to the Blue sister's explanation. The Blue struck her as being quite different from the Ajahs she was more familiar with, and harder for her to understand. The individual causes described by the Aes Sedai were something that appealed to Liaran more than the strict definitions of many of the others, but the Accepted did not think she had the interest in justice that somehow also seemed to be a part of the Blue Ajah. Considering it further, Liaran did not think she had a strong enough interest in anything that might fit as a cause within that Ajah, if all Blues had to have one. It was discouraging to think of these problems, and Liaran feared she might have to cross yet another Ajah off her list, leaving her with almost no choice at all.

She nodded silently when the Aes Sedai stopped speaking, then asked the questions that had been forming in her mind as she listened. "Is it possible to be of the Blue Ajah and not have one of the causes you mentioned?" she asked. "What would a Blue work on if she did not? And also, do members of the Blue ever change what they are working on, or are you expected to choose one area to focus on for your entire life?" Liaran hoped that the answer to the second would be that change was allowed. She couldn't imagine limiting herself to doing the same thing, day after day, and thought that if that was what life in the Blue would consist of, that there was no possibility that it could be her place.