Even Deeper (Attn: Roan)

[Craig]

Ravak

The murmurs started almost immediately. Even in a cadin'sor, the mess of ginger hair and the distinctive hilts of the two swords marked out who it was that strode into the Warder Hall. Some of the younger Drin looked at their peers and at the stranger with question in their eyes. There were questions in older eyes too. Why had Ravak Gaidin disappeared, and why for so long? And why was he back in Aiel garb?

The Shienaran focused his attention on the grand staircase that led up to the first floor of the building, ignoring the looks and the voices as he strode over the black and white mosaic in the middle of the floor. He took the stairs two at a time, moving quickly. At the top he hesitated, his natural instinct to turn right towards his office still engrained in his steps. Instead he took the eastern doors, coming quickly to the office that mirrored his own. He knocked twice, waited for the summons, then pushed the door open.

Riahana was behind a desk much neater than his own, writing out her signature on some formal looking document. Ravak took a position a respectful distance away, hands held behind his back, as he waited for the Mistress of Arms to finish. She scattered sand over the page to dry the ink, because raising her ice blue eyes up to see her visitor for the first time.

"Riahana Gaidar," Rav intoned solemnly, giving a deep bow. "I submit myself to your judgement. The length of my absence has been... is, inexcusable."

[Roan]

Riahana Ferria

The tanned man who stood before her looked less like the Master of Training she knew, and more like an Aiel visitor to the Tower. The swords at his sides gave him away, as did his voice when he spoke. Ria locked her icy gaze on his for several quie seconds before clearing the sand from the parchment she just signed, and setting the form aside to give him her full attention. At least he acknowledges his absence was. . .unusually long, she thought to herself.

The Mistress of Arms knew her Master of Training would be gone for a time, but to be away from the Tower for nearly a year to escort an Accepted, no less? She’d agreed to allow him to escort the Accepted, but had she known he’d be absent for so long, she might have had second thoughts. There was no hint of anger her expression, nor did she feel angry with the man. She was, in a word, disappointed.

Ria’s left brow arched of its own accord as she tilted her head ever so slightly to regard the man who stood before her. In a calm even tone, she spoke, “Ravak Gaidin, welcome back. There has been question of your extended absence by more than a few.” She wasn’t one to mince words, “And you might submit yourself for judgement. . .rightfully so, I might add, though I would ask you simply. . .what might you do if you were in my position?”

Before giving him a chance to answer, Ria carried on, “While I agreed to your departure initially, I was not expecting it to be an extended leave of absence. You put the Yards in a difficult situation, and I am sure the man who’s been standing in for you might give you his own ear-full. I think he hoped to avoid the Master of Training Mantle for the rest of his days until it was thrust upon him by your unexpected leave.” Her tone still held no malice or anger, but simple, undeniable disappointment.

[Craig]

Ravak

Ravak's brow drew down in thought. Honestly he hadn't expected that question, even if he used it himself on the trainees. It was a good way to judge both their honesty and their understanding of the depth of their transgressions. In Rav's case, he would deliver the truth, but it should be the whole truth.

"The length of my absence was far longer than I had anticipated, Riahana Gaidar, not that I offer that as an excuse. The training that the Accepted I accompanied underwent was far more thorough than either of us had expected, and once we were in the Three-fold Land, I had no way to get a missive to the Tower, nor could I leave the Accepted when it was my duty to return with her. A Gaidin alone in the Waste is not afforded much protection."

His soft boots scuffed across the floor slightly, as he continued. "You should know that the Accepted failed to return with me, and that I also broke some tenet of the Aiel. In multiple respects, I have failed, which includes-" For a moment his voice began to crack. Rav stopped to take a deep breath. "That includes my bond being dissolved by the Keeper of the Chronicles." Once again he prodded at that vacuum in his head where Kaia had resided, and was met with an unfamiliar nothingness.

"So, for my punishment, I readily accept whatever you have in mind. I've failed you, the Yards, the trainees, the Tower, and a number of individuals personally. At the very least, I expect my time as Master of Training shall end. At the very worst, I suspect you will wish to take my fancloak from me."

[Roan]

Riahana Ferria

Riahana considered the man who stood before her, realizing he was so very different to the Gaidin she spoke to so long ago about becoming the Master of Training. She couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps she put too much responsibility on the young man too soon after he’d attained the Fancloak. He expected the possibility he could lose that very Fancloak as punishment for his transgressions.

The woman he left the Tower to protect hadn’t returned with him, but in the wake of it all, he lost his bond. The news was not the happy sort, and it was clear that the Gaidin before her was paying a price for decisions made. Unfortunately, he was not out of debt yet, as Ria couldn’t just let him continue on as Master of Training as if nothing ever happened.

“I cannot imagine what burden you have to bear in the aftermath of your absence, Ravak Gaidin. We all make choices each and every day, from whether we will give our training everything we’ve got to whether late night pie is a good idea. We also have to live with the consequences of those choices, but I am sure I’m not telling you anything you do not already know,” she finished with a heavy sigh.

Running her right index finger along her left cheek, Ria wondered how many of the trainees heard a similar lecture from either Ravak, or the other Gaidin and Gaidar of the Yards. The irony that she was delivering it to her Master of Training was not lost on her. “I can’t say you made poor choices, Ravak, as it is not my place to say, but your choices highlight your priorities. I understand why you remained behind, and perhaps I might have done something similar in your shoes, but it does not mean I can advocate your actions, or condone them, as you put the Yards in a tenuous position.

“I have no choice but to relieve you of your mantle of Master of Training. You can retain your Fancloak for now, but I am afraid you have more penance than giving up the office next door. You abandoned your responsibilities, Ravak Gaidin, something you admit to, and it concerns me you so readily set aside not just the Tower but your Bondmate,” she continued without a hint of anger in her tone, though the disappointment was crystal clear.

Pushing up from her desk, Ria moved to one of the windows that looked out over the Yards, “You were given leave to escort the Accepted, but not given leave to shirk your duties to the Tower for the length of time you’ve been gone. Perhaps the lesson you need to learn is when to put responsibilities over personal motivations.”

Ria turned to face him once again, clasping her hands behind her back, “I have a reputation for giving people second chances.” Thoughts of Dax and Paks came to mind, “If I can give a Gaidin a second chance for excessive force when subduing an attacker, or a potential Drin’ a second chance for swift hands and questionable relationship choices, then it seems only right and fair to ensure you, Ravak Gaidin, are given a second chance to prove yourself. The question is, though, are you up to the challenge?"

[Craig]

Ravak

Ravak's throat constricted at Riahana's first words. "I cannot imagine what burden you have to bear..." It wasn't the burden of any punishment that he concerned over; it was the burden of responsibility he had been released from that weighed on him. Mirin had said something about taking time to find himself, but the hole in his mind drew almost every spare thought he had going. He was twisting the golden ring on his shorn finger without thinking about it.

Riahana's voice came back into focus. "I have no choice but to relieve you of your mantle of Master of Training." The redhead gave a brief nod of acknowledgement even as the Mistress of Arms continued. Another responsibility taken from me. His jaw clenched unconsciously, the Shienaran in him feeling the dishonour of having duties removed. Shienarans saw duty as the principal thing that made a life worthy. Standing here, having these things removed from him, hurt. Physically hurt.

"The question is, though, are you up to the challenge?" Rav glanced back at Ria, having not even noticed that he had been staring into the middle distance. The gold ring was clenched in a fist. He could feel the groundswell of resolve building up; he knew something of his own psychology well enough to recognise the signs. Yet the void asked a question: Why? Why continue, when at each hard decision he wavered and questioned his self-worth? As a Gaidin, he should have been above this level of self-doubt by now. He was supposed to be a rock that a bondmate could trust in, but he still had moments where he wouldn't have been surprised to be dressed in Drin' greys, or even still back in Fal Dara.

Ravak watched the Mistress of Arms watching him. She wasn't angry, as he might have been in her boots. The Saldaean's tone was calm, but disappointed. He wondered how long she had preempted this meeting. Kaia's response had not been planned out; her anger and disappointed had been too raw to be pre-contrived. For Mirin, who knew? But Riahana?

Rav's gaze dropped to the floor. She was offering him a way out from... wherever it was that he stood. Was he just a Gaidin now, if he walked away? Or would he find himself subtly pushed out of the Tower, a living example of what not to do as a member of the Grey Tower? And didn't the Yards deserve something more than a man who abandoned them for over a year? There had to be a better candidate for the role as Master or Mistress of Training than himself, surely?

Looking back up, Riahana's unwavering gaze was still on him, her look unchanged. She had to have planned this conversation out, which meant... Which meant she had already decided to give me another chance. And by extension, she still wishes for me to be the Master of Training. Rav's eyebrows raised as he finally comprehended the situation.

The fist with the ring in it slammed against his chest, as he nodded in a traditional Shienaran salute. "If you still have faith in me, Riahana Gaidar, I shall prove myself worthy of your trust again."

[Roan]

Riahana Ferria

Ultimately, it was less about whether she still had faith in him as whether he still had faith in himself. When she first bestowed the rank of Master of Training on him, he was a different man. Younger, yes, but on his way to becoming the man he was supposed to be in this life. His excursion to the Three Fold Land was part of his pattern, though it did not change the fact that he shirked his responsibility to the Tower and his bondmate. Either would have been enough to remove his fancloak, but no lesson would be learned with such a punishment.

“It is not an easy lesson to bestow upon someone. . .especially one of full rank who had such a huge responsibility to our learning ranks,” Ria said. “Given you are a borderlander, sending you to the Citadel would not drive the lesson home,” she continued in a matter of fact manner.

The Mistress of Arms arched her left brow as she tilted her head ever so slightly, “I’ve arranged for you to work at Mar a’Mael. More specifically, you will be working at Mar siolin'an.“ The Old Tongue rolled off of Ria’s like an old friend. “The House of Children is often looking for full ranks to help mentor some of the older children while also helping with some of the young ones.

“The Mistress of the House is expecting you to report there early tomorrow morning. Do you have any questions?” Ria finished. Issuing punishment was not a pleasant task, though at least she tried her best to ensure a lesson was learned, and it was not a wasted opportunity.

[Craig]

Ravak

The Mar a'Mael? Ravak knew about the odd cluster of buildings in Hama Valon, but he had taken no interest in them. They didn't coincide with the Warder Yards aside from the handful of recruits that came from there each year. Even Elia had little interaction with the Mar a'Mael, working in their infirmary very occasionally. But now he was about to get very familiar with them, and the House of Children. Even in his head, Rav couldn't repeat whatever it was Riahana had called them.

Light, but children? Maybe this was a just punishment. He had probably acted like a child, truth be told. Rav wasn't entirely certain, not when he couldn't focus on thinking clearly. Just as the ko'di drew away all extraneous thoughts, the absence of Kaia drew away all sense of logic. He wasn't much more than a bundle of frayed emotions, but he had kept them in check so far, more or less. With a nod, he acknowledged the Mistress of Arms' instructions.

"No, Riahana Gaidar, I have no questions. I am... Thank you, for offering me a chance of redemption. And for your faith in me." That latter was honestly more important for the Shienaran's sanity at the moment. Mirin was Mirin, not exactly a friend, and no longer a peer now that his office had been stripped from him. And he hadn't seen Elia yet, to see her reaction. Ria's punishment was a thin branch that he gripped onto with both hands, whilst the weight of his failures was a torrent of water rushing all around him, threatening to whisk him away if he let go. In those ice blue eyes, Rav saw hope.

He bowed smoothly, making the pained effort to be as respectful as possible. "I shall ready myself for tomorrow, unless you have any additional need for me."

[Roan]

Riahana Ferria

Was she too lenient? If she saw the potential for redemption, wasn’t it worth the chance? No one was the image of perfection, and in the Mistress of Arms’ eyes, some of the best lessons one could learn in life came from picking yourself up after a mistake. Ravak was not new to the Yards, no, but he was still quite young, relatively speaking.

The man let his heart cloud his judgment. In his own mind, he was watching out for the Accepted he agreed to escort, but that, in and of itself, was not the issue. The Accepted was not who he was bonded to, and yet he chose to follow her. Ria knew that those who were young and in love rarely acted rationally.

Perhaps time at the House of Hope would give Ravak much needed perspective. She shook her head slightly, “You are free to go, Ravak. Use your time at Mar a’Mael wisely.”