The Dark Night of the Soul

[Jenn]

Kaia

The sound of her chair scraping back echoed loudly in the shared study space. Kaia stood slowly, pushing herself up from her seat with splayed fingertips. Every movement she made was measured and deliberate. She felt Jaryd's eyes on her, a small thrill of excitement racing up her spine in response, but she did not turn to look at him. Her attention remained riveted on the thick expensive sheet of vellum that sat innocuously in the middle of her desk. It was dusted in gold. Even scented. Full lips pursed at that and she fought down the urge to laugh. What an absolute waste of time. Jaryd could probably smell the heavy cloying lavender perfume from where he sat.

She pinched the very top corner of the letter between two delicate fingers, holding it up and away from her body as if it offended her – which was actually not very far from the truth – and embraced saidar. Warmth filled her, Kaia separating out flows of Air and Spirit, deftly spinning them out into a finely made cage that encased the entirety of the vellum. She released her grasp on the corner, the letter suspended by flows of Power, and wiped her fingers reflexively on a fold of burgundy silk at her hips. She curled several threads of fire together, and with a sense of unparalleled delight, set Fenton's asinine letter ablaze.

It burned so hot that not even ash remained. She swept the specks of gold dust off her desk with a quick flick of Air and shook her head. Kaia released her hold on saidar with a little noise of satisfaction, finally turning her head to catch Jaryd's questioning look. “I've been wanting to do that for weeks,” she confessed, holding his gaze as she returned to her chair and sank back into it. She tried to ignore the way her stomach fluttered suddenly.

He arched a heavy eyebrow at her, his amusement evident. He leaned back in his own chair, and for a moment, the olive skinned man simply watched her. “I can tell.”

She grinned outright, trying, but failing, to curb her mirth. The petite Domani leaned back, mirroring his relaxed pose, rolling her shoulders to ease away some of the tension that had settled in at the base of her neck. “Lord Riatin is not accustomed to being ignored, it would seem.” Kaia didn't bother to hide her glee; why should she? It was Jaryd, and she trusted him.

The Altaran's laugh sounded, vibrant like a living thing. Green eyes drank in the way his face shifted, expressive and so very alive. “Why is he pouting now?”

“Hm... I suppose I should explain.” She shifted in her chair, kicking off her slippers and tucking her legs beneath her, the silk catching on her foot, revealing an expanse of smooth coppery skin for a fraction of a second. She angled herself so she was fully facing her fellow Red, her hand drifting up absently to touch at the black stone necklace. Kaia smiled again. She had Jaryd’s full attention and couldn't help the way she preened, just a little, beneath it.

“Lord Riatin is throwing the noble equivalent of a tantrum. I've ended the marriage, you see. It's just been made official and... well... you can imagine the scandal it's causing.” The corners of her mouth lifted. “He isn't taking it well and has started making threats against myself and the Tower. I don't see why – he'll be married again before the month is out, to someone with connections as strong as his. A proper Cairhienin highborn lady. And it's not like he can make good on his threats anyway, not while I'm here.” The raven-haired woman waved a hand dismissively. “He's also accusing me of keeping him away from his daughter, or some such nonsense. He does not believe that Reen wants nothing to do with him.”

A flash of pain flitted over her face before she smoothed it out. “I don't like the idea of not sharing the same family name as my child,” Kaia admitted quietly, “but I couldn't abide the connection to House Riatin any longer. I'm free of him, but she isn't. My only comfort is that she's isn't in any immediate danger from Fenton, at least.”

[Sunny]

Jaryd

The Red Asha’man pretended to read a letter on the desk before him, but his eyes were drawn time and again to the woman he had retrieved from Cairhien the year before. That she had chosen to remain in the Red Ajah after her Healing had dumbfounded him at first, but it had not taken him long to realize she could have no other home at the Grey Tower. That odd sense of familiarity he had sensed had gradually become true friendship...and now he could not imagine his study without her presence.

It helped that she had very similar responses to aggravations. He could not feel self conscious about stabbing his desk in frustration when the woman across from him so casually set her own irritations ablaze with a flick of her fingers. “I've been wanting to do that for weeks,” she commented, catching his eye.

He sat back and pulled his legs up, resting his feet on his desk with ankles crossed as he smiled at her. “I can tell.” She made a snide comment about Lord Fenton’s opinion of being ignored and he laughed. He could just imagine that stuffy lordling’s face frozen in sneering disapproval, and the thought filled him with ignoble glee. “Why is he pouting now?” He had his dagger in his hand, flipping it in lazy circles.

“Hm... I suppose I should explain.” He had grown used to the satisfied look on her face when she settled in for the evening and the way she kicked her slippers off to end formality between them. He prized those times more than he cared to think, occasionally bringing paperwork down from his office by Durent’s purely so he could spend more time with her. Tonight as she tucked her legs beneath her, her foot caught and pulled her skirt up, exposing a scandalous amount of copper-skinned leg. His hand slipped at the sight, Watari’s point digging into his thumb when he failed to catch it in time. He bit off a curse, shaking his hand surreptitiously to lessen the unexpected pain.

Her next words blindsided him. “I've ended the marriage, you see.” Everything else she said mingled together as his mind grasped at that single phrase. Eventually he realized that she had said something that required response, and he backtracked through his thoughts to remember.

“I would not worry about Katrie,” he said, abruptly thankful for the years of training that helped him keep his voice steady. “You know the Grey Tower will not allow him to take her from the grounds- even assuming she wanted to go.” I wish my mama had met you first, Katrie told him again. No….that one would not willingly go anywhere near her father so long as she had the option. “And...she has the option of changing her name, as well. Nothing will dissolve her connection to House Riatin, but she is just as much an Ariasca, and could choose to honor that side instead. Would he disown her for such?”

Despite his words, the Altaran’s mind continued to mull on what she had said. I’ve ended the marriage. Had she done it simply to be free of Fenton, or did she have other intentions? He stuck his thumb in his mouth absently to staunch the bleeding. “What will you do now, Kaia?”

[Jenn]

Kaia

Her head tilted to the side ever-so-slightly as she considered Jaryd's question. “Fenton would not dare disown Reen. Insofar as we both know, she is his only legitimate child. And I am not entirely sure what I’ll do yet,” the raven-haired woman admitted. “I need to find something that will keep Fenton at bay and I was hoping that you would hel -” Her voice halted mid word as she belatedly noticed the thumb in the Altaran's mouth, the faint stain of pink against his bottom lip. Emerald green eyes widened. “You're bleeding!”

Jaryd waved dismissively, looking almost… embarrassed. “It's nothing.”

Kaia felt the back of her legs thump against her chair as she stood abruptly, pushing her feet into her slippers. “Blood oozing out of a place that doesn't normally bleed is not 'nothing'.” She crossed the space between them quickly, coming to stand next to him. The Red Aes Sedai held out one hand as she stared at him expectantly, the other going to rest against the curve of her hip.

“Really, Kaia -”

“I do not actually have to touch you to Heal you.” That was said in her in her mildest tone. “I just thought you might like the courtesy of pretending that you had a say in this.”

The swarthy Altaran muttered under his breath, too soft for her to catch any of the actual words, but the sounds lacked any real heat, Jaryd still looking more discomfited than anything else. He placed his hand in hers reluctantly, coal-black eyes refusing to meet hers for long moments. Kaia felt the corners of her mouth lift as she looked down – not that far down, the petite Domani realized ruefully – at the glorious mess of black curls that crowned his head. The urge to reach out and bury her fingers into his hair was almost overpowering.

She embraced saidar, all five Powers coming together as she spun them out, soothing away the small bloody gash on his thumb. She released her hold on the Source, a soft smile coming to her face. “There. That wasn't so bad now, was it?” Her thumb traced a crooked line against the back of his palm, that strange familiarity that she knew him crashing over her. “Next time, try not to stab yourself, hmm?” Her skin tingled where it met his. It was several dazzling minutes before she remembered herself, Kaia having to exert a monumental amount of willpower in order to release her hold on Jaryd's hand. Even then, it happened reluctantly, the beautiful Domani having to turn away quickly to hide the rush of heat that stained her cheeks.

“A-as I was s-saying before,” she stammered out, wincing inwardly as she tried to recover her senses. The Asha'man was close, so very close, and it was... distracting. “I was hoping that you would be willing to help me with it?” She inhaled sharply, waving her fingers absently. “With Fenton, I mean. Keeping him at bay.” Kaia wanted to reach up and pinch the bridge of her nose.

Whatever Jaryd thought of her sudden lack of verbal skills, he thankfully kept to himself. “I would be honoured,” he answered simply, the Red Aes Sedai flushing further as his eyes met hers.

She gave him a grateful smile, ignoring the heat against her cheeks, and made a tiny motion for him to wait. She disappeared into her rooms for a moment, coming out with three wide, rectangular books, bound in exquisite black leather. Kaia went to stand immediately to the right of his chair, depositing the books onto Jaryd's desk. She leaned her hip against the armrest closest to her, just in front of the spot he had his elbow propped on, resting some of her weight onto it.

“You remember I left House Riatin with a package?” At his nod, she smiled, white teeth leaping out from coppery skin. “Three of Fenton's ledgers to be exact.” She leaned forward, flipping open the topmost one, her finger jabbing down on to the crisp page filled with precise numbers and what she guessed to be abbreviations. “He makes notes of gem trades, ice pepper sales, incense imports and exports.”

She folded her arms loosely across her chest, her face turned and tilted downwards so she could maintain eye contact with Jaryd. “A man like Fenton does not get to where he is by selling gems and ice peppers and incense,” she commented dryly. “I... think he's using those commonplace things to hide what he truly means. But I do not know what. I was hoping that you would help me figure that out.”

[Sunny]

Jaryd

Kaia’s touch differed from normal Healing, but even so Jaryd’s mind still struggled to right itself even after the Aes Sedai returned from her chambers bearing three leather bound books. It might have had more to do with how his skin tingled where she had touched it, or the look in her eye when she pulled away, or the way she now lounged with perfect grace on the arm of his chair. A hairbreadth separated him from the curve of her hip; one move and he could wrap his arm around her. His arm prickled with goosebumps, but he held it still as he thought about her request.

“A man can get a fair distance on those things,” he commented, “but they typically are not Lords of House Riatin.” His eyes eyes crinkled in amusement. “It is also unlikely that any Cairhienin lord would lay his business out for any unexpected eye to see.” Reluctantly he straightened to reach for one of the ledgers; as he did, his hand shifted to rest on Kaia’s forearm automatically. He settled back with the book in his lap and began to leaf through it with his free hand.

The parchment held fairly typical financial accounts. This many marks for that many gems, this many ice peppers for that many yards of silk. His finger traced down the page as he read, providing a focus point so his mind would not wander back to the woman next to him. “These are dated five years ago,” he commented. “He ran quite a brisk trade, it seems- no wonder House Riatin has been so successful recently.”

Kaia made a rude noise, and he laughed, looking up at her as he did. Their eyes met, and the Altaran once again found himself drowning in that disconcerting feeling of familiarity. It was a little different now that they had been working together for nearly a year, and it certainly happened less frequently. Yet there were still moments, like that one, where his heart asked questions that his mind could not answer.

Swallowing his thoughts, Jaryd looked back at the book. He flipped ahead a few pages, still scanning, then flipped ahead again. He frowned, his finger jabbing at a particular line on the page, and flipped back. There, again. He closed the book and sat forward, opening the next ledger on the desk. He reached for a sheet of parchment and his pen.

“You found something?” Kaia sounded surprised, and Jaryd nodded as he dipped the pen and began to write.

“I don’t know what it means,” he said absently. “It might be nothing.” He turned pages with nimble pages, jotting dates down until he had enough to satisfy his curiosity. “I will have to go through and verify-” he started to say as he twisted in his seat to face the other Red. The movement brought them far closer than he had intended, and his breath caught. He covered his shock with a quick smile, and presented her with the paper.

“If what I suspect is true, your- Fenton received a very tidy lump of money on the same day of each month for ‘miscellaneous exotics.’ That is an oddly ambiguous label, don’t you think? Everything else is clearly defined, even if it is in code.” She was looking at the paper, a slight scowl pulling her brows together. “I can’t pretend to know what he’s really talking about -yet- but it’s a start.”

[Jenn]

Kaia

“I'd like to help you with that,” the petite Domani murmured to Jaryd with a little smile before transferring her attention to the dates that he had jotted down. She did her best to ignore the fact that he was so very very close; she could feel the way his breath warmed the skin just beneath her collarbone, passing easily through the flimsy barrier of fine silk. Though she gave no outward sign of it, she felt... giddy. She wanted... more – Kaia pressed her lips together and leaned back away from him, stopping that thought before it ran away from her. He had... had not ever indicated any such interest.

Ostentatiously fixing her eyes on to the paper, she shifted her weight away from the arm of the Asha'man's chair as her brows lowered, her scowl deepening. Her frustration found another, safer outlet. What did any of this mean? Bloody flaming Cairhien and Daes Dae'mar... bloody flaming Fenton and House Riatin!

Kaia stood still, drawing herself to her full height as she indulged in an inappropriate moment of improbable fantasy where she leveled Fenton's flamboyant ancestral home to the ground. Along with all the others. Light, but the satisfaction... She sighed, green eyes going to glance down at the open page of the ledger before shifting back to the parchment held between her fingers. She reined in her scattered thoughts, finding -not for the first time- that being near Jaryd made it so curiously difficult to focus.

“One of these dates is Reen's nameday,” she said very quietly, finally breaking the poignant silence between them. She did not acknowledge the sudden wave of fear and panic that threatened to overwhelm her; whatever else Fenton schemed and wanted, he would not have her daughter. I will kill him before that happens.

She brought her body all the way around so that she was facing the wiry Altaran, placing some small modicum of distance between them so she could hopefully think clearly again. The lower curve of her backside pressed against the edge of the Asha'man's desk and with a little upwards push of her feet, she settled herself down, transforming part of the surface of Jaryd's tabletop into a makeshift chair. She crossed one leg over the other, tugging down at the folds of silk that had crept up again.

The raven-haired beauty shook her head, flawless emerald orbs glittering as she lowered the parchment that had been obscuring her face from view. “I wish I remembered...” Kaia let her voice trail off before meeting Jaryd's coal-black eyes, her gaze sharp. There was no sense in lamenting what could not be changed. “Belira wouldn't have given these to me if there wasn't something to find in them.”

The petite Domani frowned suddenly, and her spine stiffened. She broke eye contact with him, her gaze slowly encompassing the space of their shared study. Before that, before she had arrived, before Jaryd saved me, it had been his. His private study. What knowledge had she kept in her own private study back during her time as a White Tower Aes Sedai? What secrets? What information...?

“Jaryd...” Emerald orbs went back to him. “How far back do your... records... go?” she asked as delicately as she could. She was not passing judgment, nor was she trying to pry from him his sources of information. “How extensive are they?” She placed the parchment paper back down on top of the open ledger.

“I have my own... and... ” She pinched the bridge of her nose as she stumbled over her words, flustered that she could not properly articulate what she wanted to say. She took a deep breath. “What I mean to say is that between the two of us, I am sure that we'll be able to figure out what Fenton is doing. I think... first, we should try and match the dates in his ledgers to events happening in and near Cairhien. I... would have to find a way to access my information again, but...” Her head tilted to the side ever-so-slightly, Kaia placing her palms flat on either side of her hips as she leaned forward towards Jaryd. “What do you think?”

[Sunny]

Jaryd

Jaryd released a soundless breath as Kaia turned away. Sharing a study with the woman had been distracting from the beginning. Now that she had released herself from marriage to the scheming Riatin, he could barely think at all. Especially not seated as she was, with wine-colored translucent silk and lace fluttering over copper skin with every move.

“Jaryd...” she turned back to him and he cocked his head, smiling a little. “How far back do your... records... go? How extensive are they?” His lips twitched up at her phrasing. Every Aes Sedai and every Asha’man had their own ways to keep tabs on the world at large and to protect their work from prying eyes. Even the Yellows had Eyes and Ears, minimal though they might be. It was not his records she wanted, but rather his knowledge. What she said next confirmed it; he listened carefully, and nodded agreement with her logic. “What do you think?” She asked at the end.

“That is sound reasoning, and certainly worth looking at,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. “And I might be able to help a little, but….my studies went in other directions than merchant interests. For that, you would have been better off with Amadie.” His gut twisted, and his smile disappeared as he remembered his friend. “However, I have other information that may be of interest to you...I should have shared it a long time ago.” He glanced around thoughtfully.

“That,” he pointed to the ancient map that covered most of the wall to the left of his desk, “is my map to rogue channelers, Shadow activity, and...other things.” She gave him a dubious look, and he grinned at her. “You know I speak the truth,” he said teasingly. He took her hand and pulled her off the desk, casually draping his arm around her shoulders as he turned back to the map. “I’ll show you.”

It felt...odd...sharing his notes with another. He hadn’t even shared this much with Carra, and they had been bonded and worked together against impossible odds to build an Ajah, fight a terrible adversary, and lead the Tower in the direction it needed to go. As he showed Kaia where he kept the cypher to most of his notes, and pointed out what each apparently random mark on that map meant, the comparisons with the past began to fade. Does it matter how long I have known her, if I know I can trust her? Even if he didn’t entirely understand why.

Finally they returned to his desk, and he no longer had an excuse to touch her. He pulled away reluctantly, and found a seat once more on his chair. “So….perhaps that’s not very useful for Fenton,” he said, “but you are my Head of Ajah,” and his dark eyes sparkled with mischief as he bowed his head to her, “so it is only right you know what I know.”

[Jenn]

Kaia

The last thing the Red Aes Sedai had expected was for the Altaran to share his notes with her, much less the key to deciphering them. Not even Jaelle would have done such a thing, and Kaia was the closest thing the curly haired she-Trolloc had to a friend. The raven-haired woman felt both awed and humbled, barely understanding the absolute level of trust that Jaryd was placing in her. Would she do the same, were their positions reversed?

Yes. The answer was both unexpected as it was unsurprising. She did trust him; she trusted him, in a way she... simply did not with anyone else. Her logical mind told her that she was being foolish, and that she had no sense if she gave out her confidence so freely again. But her heart disagreed. This was Jaryd. She... knew him.

The seemingly random marks on the ancient map that spanned most of the wall to the left of his desk was a stroke of bloody genius. Kaia shook her head at herself; she had been here in this shared study for a little over a year now, and the idea that her surroundings were more than what they seemed… had never crossed her mind. She had never once even thought to notice. She had been seated amidst all his notes, his information, at the very center of his network, and had not even suspected that it was all be hidden away cleverly in plain sight. Perhaps that spoke more of her own shortcomings, but still. Jaryd hadn’t so much as batted an eye about it in the time she had known him. The Aes Sedai was... impressed, her gaze bemused as she glanced over to her companion.

His face was animated, expressive black eyes dancing with excitement as he gestured and explained. If she thought her hand in his was distracting, she was in no way prepared for his arm coming to settle around her shoulders, the petite Domani stilling as it became very obvious to her that she... tucked against his side rather... nicely. Jaryd didn't seem to notice, and she wasn't sure if she felt relieved that he didn't... or utterly insulted by it.

She kept her emotions in check, forcing herself to remain calm by sheer force of will. He guided her back to his desk, and it was then that they eased apart and his arm fell away. Was it wishful thinking on her part, or did he actually seem... reluctant? Kaia tried to throttle down the girlishly inappropriate thrill; he has never indicated any such interest, she reminded herself firmly. Blood and ashes, she was a woman grown, an Aes Sedai of the Red flaming Ajah, not some simpering village girl making calf eyes at her first love.

Jaryd sat down in his chair once again, the coal-black depths of his gaze regarding her mischievously. “So….perhaps that’s not very useful for Fenton, but you are my Head of Ajah.” He bowed his head to her. “So it is only right you know what I know.”

Kaia's snort was more than eloquent enough. “And I still think you mad for putting my name forward. But I agreed, so perhaps I am the crazy one.” She slouched all of her weight onto one leg, the curve of her hip becoming exaggerated as it angled out in the most pleasing manner from her body. Green eyes looked away from black eyes, the petite Domani forcefully breaking the pull she felt towards him. “Thank you for showing me. Once I have access to all of my information again...” she hesitated here, her voice trailing off for a moment. “If I can get it all back here, you are more than welcome to sift through it.”

The silence that fell around them was abrupt and heavy. It felt unnatural. She gave him a little smile. “Enough of politics, I suppose. Perhaps I will celebrate my first night as a free woman with a drink.” The smooth velvet of her voice was soft. “I will see you in the morning, Jaryd.” She left the ledgers where they were, strangely unable to make herself approach the Altaran. As she retreated to the relative safety that existed behind the doors of her private rooms, Kaia could not help but feel an odd sense of disappointment.

[Sunny]

Jaryd Let me surround you, my sea to your shore; let me be the calm you seek

“Once I have access to all of my information again...If I can get it all back here, you are more than welcome to sift through it." Kaia cut herself off abruptly, and Jaryd blinked, caught off guard by what she had just offered. True, he had just given her the key to all of his research, but...she had been of a different Ajah no matter the name, a different Tower, and truly an entirely different life. She must have had at least a passing interest in locating male channelers, which meant... He took a sudden breath. Londane… the man's face had been graven in his memory over twenty years before, and Jaryd had come no closer to confronting him. Perhaps…his fists clenched, and then he forced himself to relax. They did not have Kaia's notes – yet.

She interrupted his thoughts. “Enough of politics, I suppose." She straightened from the languid pose she had adopted, and he glanced down to hide the flash of chagrin he felt. "Perhaps I will celebrate my first night as a free woman with a drink.” He jerked his head back up, black eyes flashing with interest he could not repress, but she had already turned away. Her hand trailed over his desk then dropped to rest against burgundy lace before she glanced back. "I will see you in the morning, Jaryd," she said softly. She did not quite meet his eyes, and something in her face bespoke….disappointment?

The click of the latch falling into place ended all hope of interception. He had hesitated too long, and now silence hung around him. The Altaran tilted his face up, head resting on the back of his chair, to study the marble ceiling. His thoughts ran along the cracks between those slabs of stone, in circles around the confines of the room and his mind.

I've ended the marriage, you see. She had said it so casually, a note of glee in her rich voice. No one willingly ended association with House Riatin without having another motive. He knew Kaia had no interest in rivalry, and therefore...what other reason could there be? As Aes Sedai, surely she did not feel obligated to- his thoughts skittered away from what Kaia might feel obligated to do with Fenton if they remained wed.

Did he know what Estius did to her? The idea that anyone would knowingly take advantage of something like that made him ill. He sat up and reached for Watari, spinning the knife point first on his desk. If Fenton had known what happened to Kaia, losing his life would be the least of the Cairhienin Lord's problems. The Oaths do not prevent me from executing well-deserved justice with a blade, Jaryd thought savagely, his hand jerking down to bury the curved dagger's point into his desk.

What about Katrie? He had not told Kaia about his conversation with her daughter. He had his theories about what the young woman might do, and suspected Kaia would not approve. The conversation had occurred before Kaia had ended her marriage, however, and Fenton now presented new dangers. Should he tell the Red now? No. If Katrie had grown up in the Rahad, she would be a woman grown and wed, her life held in her own hands. It's not as if I don't know where to find her when I need to, Jaryd thought with a smile, his free hand touching his chest where the black stone had once hung.

None of that, of course, addressed the real reason Kaia's words rang so clearly in his mind: had it had anything to do with him? Did she have any interest in him at all? Sometimes he thought she might. There had been sidelong glances caught unawares, deliberate movements, and those dresses…Light! He sat back in his chair once more, spinning his knife between his fingers as his dark eyes stared at the Domani woman's door. Her natural sensuality exuded across every interaction she had with everyone she encountered, and at those times he could no longer be so sure.

His feelings for Kaia went much deeper than her dress or her eyes, and Jaryd knew it. He could not bear the thought of upsetting their easy familiarity with unwanted advances, and yet…he needed an answer. Watari glittered in the lamp light, and Jaryd chewed his lip. The expression on her face when she glanced back before leaving tugged at him. He thought there had been something more there, something she had not wanted to say. How ironic that I can read everyone in this Tower like a book except for the one person I truly want to understand. He could feel the sharp prick of pain where the point of his blade bit through his skin, but continued to spin it without heed.

If she did not have interest in him...would she seek someone to replace Fenton? Even knowing of his own attraction to Kaia, the pang he felt at that thought surprised Jaryd. What would I do if she found another? He looked around his –their- study. Kaia had complained bitterly -though privately- about their location, and yet she had taken the time to make it comfortable. Since her arrival at the Grey Tower she had accumulated furniture, decorations, and other items that had not occurred to him to acquire. Would she find a new place to spend her evenings, a new room to make her own? That thought tore at him; he squeezed his eyes shut.

Watari's spinning stopped, and he sat in frozen silence staring at the blade. Watari meant ‘decision’ in the Old Tongue. He had named her that to remind himself that every fight began with a choice, and she had served that purpose for long years. Now she reminded him that other things began with a choice, too. The only thing holding me back now is cowardice, he thought suddenly.

Slowly Jaryd’s arm extended and he dropped the small knife, paying no heed to how or where it landed. The distance between where he stood and Kaia’s door seemed endless, and yet somehow he crossed it to stand on unstable feet only an arm length from the solid wood. He closed his eyes and ran both hands through his hair, trying to center himself without use of the Void. He had little luck. Finally he took a deep breath and knocked gently.

The door opened with almost no pause. Kaia peered out, her perfect body still clad in translucent red, combs and pins neatly positioned in her black hair. Jaryd stared at her for a breathless moment, his heart hammering in his chest. Dear Creator, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, he thought, his eyes falling to catch her gaze. Her green eyes glowed with more than lamp light. Lamp light? Abruptly he realized that no light shone from Kaia’s chambers at all, and his heart skipped a beat. She was waiting?

He took an involuntary step forward, long fingers touching her cheeks and then sliding up, holding her face in his palms. “Kaia,” he whispered hesitantly, eyes never leaving hers, “I want….so very many things.” He didn’t know what to say, how to express the ache that had bloomed within him when she answered the door.

“Stop talking and kiss me,” she responded, voice unsteady.

With a soft sound somewhere between a laugh and sob, Jaryd lowered his head, hesitating the barest moment before their lips touched. His eyes slid shut, and he felt a wave of unbridled joy rush through him. The outside world faded, every thought and consideration thrown aside but for the feel of their mouths pressed together. The kiss deepened and his hands shifted, one arm falling to encircle her waist, the other to cup the back of her head.

The Aes Sedai’s fingers wrapped into his hair exactly as he had imagined. Jaryd’s breath caught, and then he took another step forward. Her arms and his feet guided them both through the door and into the shadows on the other side. He kicked the door shut, wanting no part of the world of logic and thought in that moment. In the sudden darkness, he reached up to pull the comb from her hair, lost in the taste and feel of the woman he had dreamed of for so long and now held in his arms.

[Jenn]

Kaia

The soft click of the latch as it locked behind her sounded far too final, Kaia letting out a soundless, trembling sigh as she eased her weight back against the cold hard door. Her skin still sang and thrummed from where Jaryd had touched her. Burn me... Her shoulders went limp, the thick coil of hair sitting just above the nape of her neck cushioning the impact as she let her head fall backwards. The dozen or so jeweled pins holding thick raven tresses in place pricked against her scalp all at once, the angled teeth from decorative little comb biting into the crown of her head, but she paid it no heed.

Green eyes stared up into the darkness, face tilted towards the ceiling, the only source of light coming from the faint line of yellow-orange that bled in through the crack beneath the closed door behind her. And still, she felt the tug of coal-black eyes like a caress that teased up and down her spine. She should have asked him to accompany her for a drink. She should have given Jaryd a chance to respond. Would he have? A grimace flitted over the perfect features of her face. She had given him so many opportunities before, and he had never once acknowledged them.

Kaia inhaled sharply, letting that breath back out with the same amount of force. Had she merely imagined their connection? That feeling of overwhelming familiarity... was it all just in her head? Her fingers reached up to rub absently at her temple. She could not have imagined it all. It was not possible. The ache that blossomed in her chest surprised her. Estius' Compulsion could not have made her that weak, could it? That thought made her stomach turn and she spent an eternity wrapped in silence and shadows wrestling with that incoherent panic.

Finally, the terrible moment ended. And after it had passed, the raven-haired beauty could admit that she had ended her marriage to Fenton for more so much more than political reasons and the safety of her child. Jaryd. Even if he didn't return her interest. Did he even notice her? What was it about him that made her tremble, yet exult over something as simple as sharing the same space with him? She shook her head, the thick coil hair sliding back and forth against the door. She could not so much as think it, even within the confines of her skull, that she wanted his company.

The Aes Sedai forced her mind to stillness, flawless emerald orbs staring sightlessly up. She would not find sleep anytime soon. She sighed again, irrationally irritated suddenly; she should go out for that drink. Perhaps several and –

Knuckles rapping against the door she was leaning against.

The sound of someone knocking.

The sensation vibrating through her body.

Her thoughts listed sideways and it did not register that she was moving until after she had spun around, latch unlocking, yanking the panel of smooth wood open. Not someone. Jaryd. Emerald green eyes were wide as they met coal-black, the Altaran closing the distance between them. Every single doubt she had ever had vanished like mist boiling away beneath the mid-morning sun. The breathless hope that had crowded up to overwhelm her mind was nothing compared to the way it felt as his hands came up to cup her face. Her heart was beating so very loudly, a small part of her was surprised that it did not shake the walls around them.

“Kaia.” The way he whispered her name made her soul quake, the petite Domani losing herself in the endless black pools of Jaryd’s eyes. “I want….so very many things.”

No, no, no words, her mind stuttered. They had wasted so much time - too much time already. “Stop talking,” came the quiet command, the velvet of her voice trembling, “and kiss me.”

The noise that left the Altaran made her shiver. She sensed, rather than saw, the way he lowered his head, the way he hesitated but before she could move forward to ease his doubt, he pressed his lips against hers and her entire world became him, his lips, and where he was touching her. Kaia let her mouth yield against his, and it was then that something... changed, Jaryd's arm curling around her waist, the Asha'man cupping the back of her head as he pulled her body tight against his.

The petite Domani reached up, her hands grazing against his skin, seeking by feel alone the glorious wealth of curls that had taunted and teased at her since the moment they had met. Eager coppery fingers slid past his temples and Kaia let out a little noise of triumph as she seized fistfuls of ink black hair. That elicited a groan of sound from him. She could not say if she pulled him further into her rooms or if he pushed her back into them, but it hardly mattered. Both of his hands were still on her when she heard a thud, what she guessed to be his booted foot connecting with the door as he kicked it shut behind them.

And then his hands were tangling in her raven tresses, fingers tugging out the decorative comb before moving on to find each of the jeweled pins. Jaryd removed them very deliberately, letting each of them fall to the floor one by one. Kaia heard the distinctive musical ping as the delicate metal bounced against the tiled floor. It did not take long before the thick coil of her hair unraveled and fell in a cascade of silk, spilling over her shoulders, down her back. The Asha'man's kisses grew more insistent then, and the Aes Sedai began guiding them back to the bed.
* * * Flawless emerald orbs traced over the shape of Jaryd's face, the petite Domani watching indulgently as the Altaran slept next to her. She was propped up on an elbow, cushioned by pillows, illuminated by the many lights that she had made from the Power. She drank in the way he looked lying there next to her. His face was relaxed in peaceful slumber, her eyes returning again and again to the barely visible scar that crossed his right cheekbone. She had run shaking fingertips across that very same scar once before in her Arches. Would it feel the same?

Kaia hesitated, not wishing to wake him, yet wanting to at the same time simply to bask in that look of awed wonder in those coal-black eyes when they alighted upon her. In the end, the desire to have his eyes on her won out, and she stretched out, running a feather-light touch up that familiar scar. Jaryd came awake instantly, his hand moving faster than she could follow as he twined his fingers together with hers. White teeth leapt out from coppery skin as she smiled at him.

“Good morning, mi cueran,” she said softly.