Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds.
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Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds. Birds sing in the trees which line the wide paths between beautiful flower beds and serene lakes. There are benches to sit and listen to the waterfall, and there is neatly trimmed grass to lie on and rest. Novices and Soldiers as well as Warders in Training can be seen, sweeping the stone paths as Accepted and Dedicated study from books and relax under leafy trees.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Alianora » June 13th, 2018, 12:40 am

Accepted Amaranie
Early one morning, Amaranie rushed into the gardens, desperately trying to escape the dream which had awoken her. For once, it had not been one of her cryptic dreams of what could be. Instead, she had dreamed of what she'd seen in the Arches she'd passed through not long ago, a scene from her own past which she'd fought for many years to forget. The Accepted collapsed onto a bench which was shaded by a large tree and surrounded by large bushes. Her eyes were already beginning to water with unshed tears, and she blinked, trying to force them away. Her left arm lay in her lap, and the first finger of her right hand traced up and down the scar that marked the arm, over the white wool of her sleeve. Amaranie sniffled, trying to focus on the beauty of the flowers around her instead of her terrible dreams, but it was no use. She couldn't stop her memories from coming back to her, and the tears in her eyes began to fall. Her mind drifted back to the time the Arches had forced her to relive.

Amaranie stood near the front door of her own home, staring down at the arm she'd injured earlier. It bore no sign of the wound now except a thin scar that could have been there for years. She knew what had happened, no matter how badly she wished she could deny it. Her brother, Keegan, had touched the One Power to help her, and now the Children of the Light had arrived to arrest him. Amaranie knew the law, knew what Keegan had done was wrong, but she couldn't stop herself from asking why that was so. She simply did not believe that her own brother was the evil their own parents claimed he was. When Amaranie opened her mouth to protest that Keegan hadn't hurt her, that he walked in the Light, the Arch had opened, and she'd had no choice but to go through without coming to her brother's defense.

She cried harder as she tried to remind herself that the Arches were not real, that she had spoken up, but she found no comfort in that knowledge. Nothing she'd said had stopped his execution. She didn't want to think about that, but it came back to her anyways, how she'd stood still in the middle of the crowd, eyes squeezed shut while the people around her cheered the death of a Darkfriend. Amaranie's face turned red as she continued to sob, tears dripping down her cheeks and onto the front of her dress. She moved a hand to wipe the tears away, but they continued to flow, and she felt powerless to stop them.

Leala
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 1191
Joined: October 8th, 2014, 3:13 am
PC: Leala Gymorraine, Aes Sedai of the White Ajah
SC: Torianin Soulane, Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah
TC: Jhanic, Asha'man of the Indigo Ajah
QC: Abby Soulane, Novice
Location: Tel'aran'rhiod

Re: Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Leala » June 17th, 2018, 2:11 am

Novice Abby
Abby had been tasked with weeding the Gardens that morning. She started just after dawn, donning a brown work apron over her with dress, and thick gloves over her hands. In near solitude, she allowed her mind to wander as she tore small roots from the ground, and carefully rooted out other, thicker weeds. Sometimes, she thought on her parents. Her mother, the beautiful Domani who relished a good book, made Abby think of what happened to all the books in their house after...it was abandoned. She didn't have anything left of her mother except for her sharp mind. Her father, they savvy merchant, had loved both of them dearly, and she knew that his last thoughts were of her and her mother. The only thing she had left of him was a necklace that her adoptive mother now kept. It was hard to think of the time after they died. It was years of fear.

Huffing a little, she peered at a thick weed in front of her, far into the bushes. Abby carefully arranged herself, lying on her belly, reaching her gloved hand toward the errant plant when she heard someone rush into the gardens. She stayed still, fretting that an Aes Sedai might be in a rush. She remembered the rushing about sisters had done when the Amyrlin had...shown her allegiance. The novice went back to her task when she saw the banded hem of an Accepted's dress, but stopped again when she heard sobs. Concern filled her as she grabbed the weed by the base of the thick stem and pulled it out with both hands.

Backing out from under the bushes, she tossed the weed onto her pile, then looked up to follow the sound of crying. On a nearby bench, she saw a brown-haired Accepted. Except...she recognized this Accepted. Abby and Amaranie were not close friends, exactly, but they had met in the Library before she took the novice whites. They had even shared a few conversations, though they had dwindled since Amaranie had gone through the Three Arches.

A small part of her knew that Amaranie wanted to be left alone, but a much stronger part of her knew that her friend needed her help. Taking off her gloves, she wiped sweat from her brow. It was easier to maintain her hair with it in the Taraboner braids, and pulled up at the nape of her neck. She took off the apron as well and laid them carefully next to the weeds. She patted her skirts and her sleeves free of soil as she walked carefully to sit next to the Accepted. "Amaranie..." she said in a small voice as she leaned her head down to try to make eye contact, "What's wrong?" she asked uncertainly. She never talked about personal matters with the Accepted, but that didn't mean they couldn't start now. "I-I mean, if you don't...um..." Biting her lip briefly, she decided to steer the conversation. "It might help to talk about it...when you're ready." To help ease the other girl's concerns about her presence, she patted her back softly, hoping that would help.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Alianora » June 19th, 2018, 12:26 am

Accepted Amaranie
Amaranie didn't know how long she'd been crying. Her grief and pain poured out from the place where she'd kept it bottled up for all of her years as a novice. When they finally began to slow, the Accepted dug into her belt pouch and pulled out her handkerchief, wiping her wet face and runny nose. She crumpled it up in one hand, bowing her head. The dark tail of her hair fell over a shoulder, collecting its share of her tears. Still crying softly, Amaranie didn't notice there was anyone else nearby until she caught sight of the slowly approaching white skirt. Light! I forgot the novices would be out weeding this morning!

The Accepted wanted to rush away, much preferring to keep her sadness to herself, but the white skirt had come closer, and the bench beneath her rocked slightly as someone sat down beside her. Amaranie's face blazed red, embarrassment now added to the list of emotions she felt. The Accepted looked up, wet eyes blinking, to see Abby sitting there. She liked Abby, and had spoken to the younger woman a few times in the library, but they were more friendly acquaintances than friends. She didn't want the novice to see her crying this way, but when Abby asked her what was wrong, Amaranie knew it was too late to attempt to hide her emotions.

She sniffled, raising the handkerchief to wipe her face yet again. Amaranie didn't want to answer. Abby couldn't possibly understand the grief and guilt she felt. Nobody could. She would bear it alone, just like she had all these years. She ignored the novice's question until she felt Abby's hand patting her back. She's only trying to help. It wasn't something most people would have dared, and tears stung her eyes again. "I miss my brother," she choked out through her tears. What she was feeling wasn't nearly that simple, but Amaranie didn't want to repay Abby's kindness with the awful truth she could still hardly stand to remember.

Leala
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 1191
Joined: October 8th, 2014, 3:13 am
PC: Leala Gymorraine, Aes Sedai of the White Ajah
SC: Torianin Soulane, Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah
TC: Jhanic, Asha'man of the Indigo Ajah
QC: Abby Soulane, Novice
Location: Tel'aran'rhiod

Re: Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Leala » July 5th, 2018, 7:25 pm

Novice Abby
Abby waited patiently as Amaranie collected her thoughts. She was in the throes of sorrow, and Abby could be a help or a hindrance in the moments to come. The Accepted's face was red from tears, and likely embarrassment. Abby wasn't the type to spread gossip. She knew very well that everyone had secrets and traumas they would rather keep to themselves, both from personal experience and having an Aes Sedai adopt her as a daughter. So, quietly, she withdrew her hand from Amaranie's back. The novice blinked when the Accepted seemed to draw herself up to explain. All she was able to say was, "I miss my brother," between sobs. Abby did not like crying in front of others either. She suspected no one did. She also suspected Amaranie was feeling more than just simply the absence of her brother.

She couldn't simply say, "I understand," though. Everyone's pain was the hardest for them to deal with. She would need to try to sympathize, though. The Amadician had been in the Grey Tower for years. If it was bothering her this badly, it would only get worse if she didn't find some solution for it. "I miss my parents," she confided. Pushing away the coldness she would often feel to deal with the loss, she continued. "My father was assassinated, and my mother..." It was one thing to speak of her father's death. It had happened away from her. She did not see it happen. "My mother threw herself into the sea in grief." She felt her eyes begin to sting with the threat of tears. That was long ago, and her life had taken so many turns since then.

Abby blinked back her tears, but let herself feel her loss. "When Torianin Sedai took me in, it helped to talk with her about what they meant to me." It was hard for her to lead any conversation, but one so charged as this was even more difficult. She felt she could not directly ask Amaranie what her brother meant to her before offering her own thoughts on those she had lost. "My father was brave and smart. I still wish I had his way with words. My mother taught me to read, and gave me my love of learning. I sometimes wonder what they would think of my life now..."
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Alianora » July 5th, 2018, 10:04 pm

Accepted Amaranie
Amaranie took a couple of breaths, swallowing hard before managing to form words. "Light, I'm sorry that happened, Abby. It's...hard to lose someone you love." The sentence ended in a high pitched sound that was almost a squeak. She turned her head to look at Abby, raising a hand to toss her ponytail over her shoulder to dangle down her back. "Your parents sound like they were good people....I'm sure they'd be proud if they could see you here." Not like mine. Thinking of her own parents, Amaranie felt her lips tremble and knew she was close to starting to cry again. She pressed them together, trying to avoid it.

The memory of her parents, though they still lived as far as she knew, was nearly as hard for her to bear as her memories of Keegan were. Amaranie closed her eyes, immediately recalling the sight of her brother being dragged out the door of their home, condemned by their mother and father. She could feel the tears beginning to drip down her cheeks again. "I'm sorry, Abby," she choked out. "I know you were trying to tell me about your parents. It's just that mine......if they knew I'd come here, they'd do their best to have me killed." Just like they did to Keegan. Amaranie turned her head away from Abby and squeezed her eyes shut, wiping them on the sleeve of her dress instead of the handkerchief that was useless by now. She sucked in a breath, trying her best to calm herself down. It was somehow helping to talk to Abby, and Amaranie wanted to be able to continue, even if it hurt.

Leala
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 1191
Joined: October 8th, 2014, 3:13 am
PC: Leala Gymorraine, Aes Sedai of the White Ajah
SC: Torianin Soulane, Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah
TC: Jhanic, Asha'man of the Indigo Ajah
QC: Abby Soulane, Novice
Location: Tel'aran'rhiod

Re: Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Leala » July 17th, 2018, 6:57 pm

Abby
Abby gave Amaranie a small smile when she offered sympathy, then speculation that her parents would be proud that she was at the Grey Tower. She hoped that was the case. But, the Accepted's own parents weren't like Abby's. She was from Amadicia, after all. The Children of the Light had more power there than the king. Abby felt like she had stumbled in her efforts to calm the Accepted. She had to remind herself that she was on the right track, though. It wasn't necessarily that she wanted to talk about her parents; she wanted to talk about what they meant to her, and the parts of them that kept her moving forward. She needed to connect that with what Amaranie was feeling.

Gently, Abby shook her head, keeping her small smile. "There's no need to apologize, Accepted." She had very recently seen an Aes Sedai near inconsolable herself. She thought for a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry your parents can't see the wonderful things you're doing here for what they are. But, it seems like you were closer to your brother. What do you think he would think of you being in the Grey Tower?" she asked softly, hoping this wasn't the wrong direction to go.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: Lost in Memory (Leala/Abby)

Post by Alianora » July 19th, 2018, 10:14 pm

Accepted Amaranie
Amaranie sniffled. She looked towards Abby again before shaking her head. She had no idea what Keegan would have thought, had she been the one who had channeled that day. "I don't know," she said. Her eyes closed as she allowed her thoughts to drift back, remembering her own emotions. There had been many of them, all jumbled together, but what had always stood out to her was that she'd never been afraid. Even once she'd realized just what Keegan had done, Amaranie could never have feared the brother she loved. She would have liked to think that Keegan would have felt the same in her place.

Her eyes opened again, locking on Abby in an attempt to pull herself out of her own memories. Amaranie shrugged before she continued. "I'd like to think he wouldn't hate me for being here, or be afraid of what I can do......but I'll never know that." Keegan's last words to her ran through her mind, in the place where they'd been imprinted since he'd spoken them those years ago.

I'm sorry, Mara, I didn't mean to.....

Her vision blurred as she recalled those words. He probably would be afraid of me, if he could see me now. It hurt Amaranie to realize that, and the tears in her eyes spilled over to slide down her cheeks yet again. "He was so scared, once he knew what he'd done," she whispered, more to herself than to Abby. "If he could know where I am now, he probably would be terrified of me, of what I can do...." Amaranie's voice trailed off. She coughed and blinked before speaking again, just as quietly. "He thought he'd hurt me, and he didn't....he didn't do anything wrong!" She sniffled and wiped her red face with a damp sleeve, never once considering that none of what she'd just said would make much sense to anyone else.

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