Gnawing Doubt (Alianora)

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Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds. Birds sing in the trees which line the wide paths between beautiful flower beds and serene lakes. There are benches to sit and listen to the waterfall, and there is neatly trimmed grass to lie on and rest. Novices and Soldiers as well as Warders in Training can be seen, sweeping the stone paths as Accepted and Dedicated study from books and relax under leafy trees.
Leala
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 1191
Joined: October 8th, 2014, 3:13 am
PC: Leala Gymorraine, Aes Sedai of the White Ajah
SC: Torianin Soulane, Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah
TC: Jhanic, Asha'man of the Indigo Ajah
QC: Abby Soulane, Novice
Location: Tel'aran'rhiod

Re: Gnawing Doubt (Alianora)

Post by Leala » May 9th, 2018, 1:27 am

Asha'man Erishar
Suddenly, Erishar remembered how he had felt as a soldier, then Dedicated speaking to Brothers and Sisters of the Grey Tower. He had not meant to make it seem as though he was forcing the Accepted to reveal her problems, but that must have been how it had felt to her. He listened as she struggled to reveal her dreams, how she had seen what would have been coming. Only after it had happened, and after someone she knew had met the Mother's Last Embrace did she feel as though she could have done something. It must have been horrifying for her to simply have such a dream, much less experience it in the waking world. He was no dreamer himself, but he had heard of the Talent. It seemed almost inscrutable to him.

Unfortunately, he knew that if Amaranie had come forward with her dream, she likely wouldn't have been believed. Or, action from the Hall would have only prolonged the incident. He hadn't been in the Grey Tower when Ninya was revealed to be a darkfriend, but he could tell that the episode had done a considerable amount of damage. He was just glad that Abby had come through it unscathed, to help Torianin. Erishar locked eyes with the Accepted. She wanted him to believe that she was unworthy. She truly believed herself to be unfit to be there.

He hesitated and felt along his bond with Torianin for a moment. She seemed at peace. He sent a feeling of comfort toward her, to ease any doubts she may be having. Erishar's own doubts were disappearing as he thought on this Accepted's problems. He knew what he must share, but it was not his story. "Amaranie," he began, taking any pretense he may have had out of his voice, "You will never know if you could have done anything. You may not have been believed, which would have sent her agents after you. Or, you may have triggered a lengthy trial, which would have still put you in danger. If this is a Talent that you have not yet mastered, gathering the evidence you needed would have stalled justice and still yet put you in her path." He paused. The Asha'man knew that he was speculating too, but his scenarios were more likely than hers had been. "Rather than wish for something that would never have been, I think you should study your Talent, so that when something like this happens again, you will be ready. And..."

Narrowing his eyes, he siezed Saidin and wove a quick ward against eavesdropping. He left his bond with his Aes Sedai open, though. He would not hide anything from her. "Should you ever meet Torianin, my bonded Aes Sedai, I ask that you do not let on that I spoke of this mission with you, but I believe the story surrounding it will help you. Shortly after she bonded me as her Warder, Torianin adopted a young girl from the city. She had been captured by a darkfriend and abused, treated as a slave. Her captor had been put to death after a trial. For years, Abby was afraid of her own shadow, she had a stammer, she had difficulty opening up to others, even though she is a polite and friendly child. Torianin knew who was to blame, but he was gone. She could do nothing. But, his wife and partner in his crimes was still alive and at large." He sifted through his thoughts, thinking of which details he should omit. "After a time, she found the woman, in Far Madding. Neither of us could channel there. She had bonded another Gaidin by this time, and we struck up a plan. Torianin was able to see justice done on the woman, but she had guards. One of them beat her second Gaidin to death..."

He was silent for a moment. Even though he had not spoken to her, he knew what Torianin was thinking. "I know she still blames herself for his death. She worries that Abby might secretly hate her as well. She believes she could have prevented his death, if we had waited, if we had a different plan...But, there was nothing to be done. She tried her best, as you did. The dead would not want us to stop and give up because they are gone. They would want us to continue on and learn." He felt like he had rambled on, but if anything, he knew now that he would likely have to see Torianin whether she wanted him to or not.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: Gnawing Doubt (Alianora)

Post by Alianora » May 9th, 2018, 10:13 pm

Accepted Amaranie
Amaranie listened to the Asha'man without looking up. He's probably right, she thought when the Asha'man suggested that she should study her Talent further. He wasn't the first to tell her that, but the thought of it had always scared her and she'd never been able to make herself pursue it. It seemed to her that whenever she had a dream that she knew hinted at the future to come, it was always concerning a death, or something equally terrible. Amaranie didn't think she'd be half as afraid of investigating them further if they weren't always so negative. Reluctantly, the Accepted told herself that she should look into studying them anyways, knowing there was little more she could learn on her own.

She remained quiet and still while Erishar Asha'man continued to talk about a terrible experience his Aes Sedai had had during a recent trip out of the Tower. When he came to the end of it, Amaranie shook her head in denial, finally looking at the Asha'man again. "But it wasn't her fault," she said. "She couldn't have known what would happen." She hoped the Aes Sedai hadn't had to see her Warder die. Twice now in her life, Amaranie had been forced to witness violent death, and she knew too well how awful it could be. The Accepted blinked, struck then by the idea that the words she'd spoken about the Aes Sedai could just as easily be applied to herself.

She had not known from her dream that Accepted Jesinne would die at the hands of the former Amyrlin, and there was no way she could have guessed it. The thought wasn't pleasant, but it did make Amaranie feel just a little less responsible for what had happened, especially since Erishar Asha'man had suggested that she wouldn't have been believed if she had spoken up. Amaranie just wished that if she were going to have these dreams, that there was something she could do with the information they brought her. The Accepted sighed, shaking her head again. "I think you're right that I should learn more about the dreams I have. I suppose I should speak to one of the Indigos who studies Talents." It made sense, but Amaranie still felt nervous just thinking of speaking about her dreams to someone she didn't know. She was much better at it than she'd once been, which could be proven by the fact that she was sitting here talking to an Asha'man about them, but trust still did not come easily for her.

Leala
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 1191
Joined: October 8th, 2014, 3:13 am
PC: Leala Gymorraine, Aes Sedai of the White Ajah
SC: Torianin Soulane, Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah
TC: Jhanic, Asha'man of the Indigo Ajah
QC: Abby Soulane, Novice
Location: Tel'aran'rhiod

Re: Gnawing Doubt (Alianora)

Post by Leala » May 10th, 2018, 6:02 pm

Asha'man Erishar
Erishar watched as the Accepted took in his story. At first, he thought she understood his reasons for telling it to her. He schooled his face when she shook her head, then began to defend Torianin's decisions. He could tell that she did not see how it related to her at first, then her expression changed as she blinked. He dropped the ward he had placed and released Saidin. As his senses died down to what they normally were without the One Power, Amaranie sighed again. He smiled when she said she would speak to an Indigo about her dreams. The young woman did not say outright that she felt less worried, but planning to meet with an Aes Sedai or Asha'man about a Talent meant that she had no plans of leaving the Grey Tower.

"That is good. At the very least, they can point you in the right direction to gather resources. In the best case, they either dream such dreams themselves, or they may recommend a brother or sister who does." He paused. Now it was his turn. "Torianin delayed meeting with me earlier... I do not wish to push her beyond her limits, but I think it may help her to have someone to speak with in her own regard as well." He let out a short sigh and lifted his eyebrows in thought. "Peace favor both of those pursuits."
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: Gnawing Doubt (Alianora)

Post by Alianora » May 13th, 2018, 8:46 pm

Accepted Amaranie
Amaranie nodded, not knowing what to say. She knew nothing more about the relationship between Aes Sedai and their Warders than she'd learned in her classes, which was nothing the Asha'man didn't already know. It didn't help that she couldn't understand why Erishar Asha'man's Aes Sedai wouldn't want to speak to him. Amaranie remembered all too clearly how it had felt when Keegan had died and she'd fled their parents' house, completely alone in her grief. It had been terrible to be that alone, and it was supposed to be far worse for an Aes Sedai whose Warder had died. The Accepted's eyes squeezed shut for a moment as she fought back the tears that always threatened when she thought of her brother.

"She shouldn't be alone," Amaranie said quietly, wincing when she realized how close to criticizing an Aes Sedai she'd just come. Her cheeks were bright red as she rushed to add, "I'm sorry, I know I have no right to say what an Aes Sedai should do. I just hope she allows you to see her." Her blush had barely begun to fade when she heard the chime of the Tower's bells and quickly rose from her place. "If I may, Asha'man, I have a lesson to attend at this hour." Brushing an errant leaf from her banded skirts, Amaranie curtsied and hurried away.

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