Reflection (open)

Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds.
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Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds. Birds sing in the trees which line the wide paths between beautiful flower beds and serene lakes. There are benches to sit and listen to the waterfall, and there is neatly trimmed grass to lie on and rest. Novices and Soldiers as well as Warders in Training can be seen, sweeping the stone paths as Accepted and Dedicated study from books and relax under leafy trees.
Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
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Reflection (open)

Post by Alianora » March 25th, 2018, 10:11 pm

Liaran Sedai
Liaran sat by the side of one of the lakes within the garden, dangling her feet in the water. The shoes she'd worn down here lay abandoned beside her. The Aes Sedai studied the ripples on the lake's surface, trying to relax and enjoy the break she was taking from her morning's work. It didn't come easily for her, even here in one of her favorite places within the Tower. If she had been alone, it might have been different, but there were plenty of people in the area. Liaran found the footsteps and conversations distracting, and couldn't stop herself from looking around her, nervously watching the people surrounding her instead of the water where she usually found peace. Every time she caught herself, she forced her eyes back to the water, but the constant distractions meant that Liaran was not having the peaceful break she'd hoped to have by visiting the gardens.

She managed to rest for a short time, watching the fish as they swam, but soon enough, the chatter of a large group of people brought her head back up again. Dark eyes glared at them briefly before Liaran noticed how many there were, and that the group was composed entirely of Aes Sedai. Entirely against her will, Liaran recalled her time in captivity, how she'd been dragged through the courtyard of the White Tower to face a similarly sized group of Aes Sedai, all waiting to inflict a terrible punishment upon her. In that moment, the memory felt real to her, and Liaran was afraid.

Her feet jerked out of the water with a splash, pulling her knees to her chest as her breathing sped up. She could feel her own heartbeat thumping against them. Liaran trembled as she tried to remind herself of where she was, safe in her own home. Eventually, her eyes drifted back to the water and the memory left her, but by then, Liaran thought she'd ruined any chance of enjoying her break. The Aes Sedai sighed, annoyed with herself, and tried her best to slow her breathing down. It wasn't the first time she'd found herself recalling her experience as clearly as if it were taking place all over again, but it frustrated Liaran greatly when all she wanted was to move on with the life the Hall had granted her. She still shook slightly as she promised herself that she would, somehow, accomplish that, even if she wasn't quite sure how to go about it.

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Matty
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Matty » April 17th, 2018, 7:01 am

Nathaniel Carridus, Asha'man of the Blue Ajah It was good to walk the gardens, sometimes. Nate wasn't generally a man who appreciated much in the way of "down time", but on occasion he did take advantage of such instructions and as a result, made the most of it. He'd train with some of the Warders and Warder trainees, do his own exercises to keep in top shape with his hammer, and he'd consult his eyes-and-ears to see what the news was. That was a boring task but it was important, and his correspondents appreciated his tendency for direct news, not cryptic puzzles. As a result, many of his contacts were people similar to himself.

On this particular day Nate didn't have his hammer to hand, not anticipating a need for it any time soon. His Asha'man uniform was more unkempt than usual, the coat completely absent and his dark blue shirt not in the neatest condition, the top buttons open as it didn't quite fit right. Nate had better things to do than worry about clothes, as long as they covered him that was the main thing. His long hair was raked back but it insisted on tumbling forwards again, so he let it do its thing.

Not one to be seen about the Tower all too often, it was good to catch up with people. Nate generally had a good word to say to anyone he met, and as a result his walk was often hindered by greetings to Aes Sedai and Asha'man, some of whom he had been in training with and hadn't seen for some time. His naturally loud voice rang through the gardens as he told a bad joke or good-naturedly jibed with his erstwhile trainee partners, but then he went on his merry way, always the sort who preferred to get things done on his own.

Nate did pause when he saw the fellow Blue sitting by the water as if she might find some answers lurking amongst the fish. Now, Nate had no real issue with Liaran, she was too small and serious to ever truly be on his radar, but he'd known her from since he was a Dedicated, and of course they were both at the White Tower that day when it all but collapsed - in no small part due to Nate's channelling. He didn't regret that, he did what he had to do, and he was happy to assist in the relief efforts at Tar Valon. Perhaps Liaran would as well, though he wasn't so sure. Truthfully, Nate had no idea what her cause was, and had never had a reason to find out. But right then was an opportunity, and the Mayener was happy to take it. He approached with a smile, squatting his hulking frame down a little ways away, eventually parking his bottom on the ground and removing his own sizeable boots to sit next to her shoes. Were Aes Sedai and Asha'man supposed to lounge around so in public? Perhaps not, but Nate had no qualms about doing so. "Light shine on you Liaran," he said warmly, his deep voice kind and a far cry from his 'business voice' used when on duty. If there was something to be done, Nate simply got on with it, but here he could afford to loosen that need for control. "It's a good day for some time in the gardens, no?"

It wasn't lost on Nate that the woman seemed put out by something, though the man couldn't comment on what. He didn't think it was him, but then he could be wrong on that. No matter if it was, Nate was used to people not liking him all that much. At least he was putting in some effort with his fellow Blue. "I've not been here in a while actually, I've just spent the last week or so in Saldaea. I've been asked to put in some face time at the Tower to show I still exist." Nate wore an easy grin, "how are you anyway? Anything exciting happening around here that I've missed? Any more weird interrogations to find Darkfriends? Seanchan attacks? Bubbles of Evil?" The man sighed, "there's got to be something to do here," he muttered.
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------ Murdock -------------- Nathaniel --------------- Maever -------

Alianora
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Alianora » April 18th, 2018, 12:12 am

Liaran
Having come here to spend time alone with her thoughts, Liaran had not been expecting company. The sound of a rather loud voice addressing her startled the Aes Sedai, and her head snapped up as she looked around her for its source. When she identified the speaker, dark eyes still wide with surprise blinked at him. Nate wasn't someone she knew well, and it took some effort for Liaran to force herself to smile politely at his greeting, though it didn't quite reach her haunted eyes. She couldn't help but wonder what brought him to speak to her now. Hasn't he heard how people talk about me? As he continued to talk, it became clear to Liaran that Nate had been out of the Tower for long enough that he probably hadn't heard anything of her trial or what she'd had to speak of during it. If that was so, Liaran wasn't about to bring it up.

She was feeling far from sociable, and felt like rushing away from the other Blue to seclude herself again, but Liaran made herself stay put. Her isolation wasn't good for her, she knew, no matter how appealing it sounded. The polite smile remained on her face as she nodded. "It's always a nice day to be in the gardens," she said, sliding her feet back into the water. "How was Saldaea?" She left the question of how she was unanswered. Nate, who didn't know her, surely wanted to hear the answer about as much as Liaran wanted to talk about it. "There's not much excitement around here," she continued, thinking to herself that the recent war should have been enough of that for anyone. It did occur to her that Nate might find her trial and its verdict interesting, but he would just have to learn of that from someone else. "Between the war and...well, Ninya, I think I'll be content for a long time to have nothing more interesting in my life than a class full of new novices, " she commented.

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Matty
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Matty » April 18th, 2018, 11:41 am

Nate At the question about Saldaea, Nate was quick to answer, always ready to talk about himself. "It was great," he said keenly, "there were some bandits roaming the outskirts of some villages that needed a good talking to. I sorted them out and then went along to the Blightborder to see what the defences were like there and catch up with some old contacts." It was good to get out there and talk to those people. "There was this one guy raiding villages who thought he was real tough, but he carried a sword so old I could've snapped it in half." The Mayener snorted, "now the ones who turned themselves in are making themselves useful on a farm, and that sword is no more. Everyone wins."

As much as the man liked to talk, he wasn't a fool and he could tell when someone didn't really want company. He would have made his visit somewhat brief but when the woman actually embraced the idea of doing nothing interesting for the rest of her life, it was his Bluely Obligation to see what she was waffling on about. Nate rolled his trousers up so he could shove his own feet into the water, though it wasn't like the sea in Mayene and it elicited a grimace before he schooled his expression back to its previous state of confusion.

It was pretty bad that their Amyrlin turned out to be a Darkfriend, especially when she was a Blue and there was that whole business with the Mistress of Novices before, another Blue. The Blue Ajah wasn't at its best at the moment and sitting around sulking about it wasn't going to help. If anything, Ninya being outed should have told the Blues to get their bottoms off their seats and to be more proactive. "You want to just teach a load of kids all day?" he asked, his tone dubious. "I'm not saying I want a full scale war every other day but really? Is that it?" the Mayener was nothing if not blunt, "sounds kind of Brown to me. What did you choose Blue for? Because I don't know you but I'm pretty sure it wasn't to become a boring teacher. That doesn't sounds like the woman who went to Viadulo, or to the White Tower. That was a Blue in action!"

Having gotten that off his chest, Nate leaned his elbows on his legs, kicking idly at the water. He spoke a little quieter now (but still rather loudly by nature), his words earnest. "It's a bit of a rough time to be a Blue but we have each other and we have the things we believe in. The second one, I remember all the time. All that business rooting out Darkfriends in the Grey Tower? Dumb as a bag of rocks, but ultimately nothing to do with what I want to do as an Asha'man. When stuff happens I just remember I've got my own priorities and things that matter. So... what matters to you? More than teaching Novices, I think." He gave Liaran a smile, "blue suits you better than Brown if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I'm telling ya anyway."
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------ Murdock -------------- Nathaniel --------------- Maever -------

Alianora
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Alianora » April 19th, 2018, 10:20 pm

Liaran
She hadn't wanted to talk in the first place, and the more Nate talked, the more irritated Liaran became. The Aes Sedai glared at him before turning back to the lake in front of her, a much more peaceful sight. "Actually, I do enjoy teaching," she snapped. "I find it quite rewarding. Maybe I won't want to for the rest of my life, but it's what I want right now." I don't have to explain that decision to anyone, she thought, annoyed with herself for having done just that. He'll never understand why I need to stay in the Tower for now, and I wouldn't want him to. Liaran wouldn't have wished an understanding of her experience on her worst enemy, and Nate was far from that no matter how frustrated she was with him.

Liaran let Nate ramble on, not really paying much attention, until he brought up the war and the White Tower. Hearing those two simple words made Liaran flinch away as though the Asha'man had slapped her. She considered just getting up and walking away, but Nate kept talking, and what he said about her actions during the war brought Liaran's head back around to stare at him in shock. He doesn't know why I went there, she reminded herself. She had seen little of him during the war, and even if that hadn't been so, Nate would have had no way to know of the desire for vengeance that had driven her. There was nothing admirable at all about her behavior there and it disturbed her that Nate seemed to think otherwise. If he knew what I've done, he wouldn't think that.

She looked away from the other Blue as he continued on, not sure whether he actually wanted to know what mattered to her. "Plenty of things matter to me," she muttered, irritated enough that she didn't think much before she spoke. Her head lifted as she turned to look at Nate again. "I chose Blue because I didn't want to be bound to a single cause all my life. Just because I choose to teach now doesn't mean I can't pursue something else later." Liaran let herself glare at him again. Her decisions were her own to make, and really not any of Nate's business.
Last edited by Alianora on April 22nd, 2018, 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Matty
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Matty » April 21st, 2018, 6:41 am

Nate At first Nate was politely puzzled, but then he moved into the territory of "Not as politely" puzzled. Liaran seemed to be having a bit of a hard time with... well, Nate couldn't say what, but it was perhaps a combination of Nate sitting there, and Nate talking, that got her back up. She didn't like being reminded of the White Tower for some reason, but most of the time she was deflective and defensive.

The Stubborn Blue (Nate that is) was not to be deterred. Who actually liked teaching? Apart from boring people that is. Nate still didn't have Liaran pegged as one of those, and she never actually answered his question about what she believed in. Nate's experience of Blues was that even if their goals were variable and changed over time, they still had them. Liaran had to have them too, otherwise she wouldn't have had anything to do as soon as she became a Blue. That made sense to Nate, who as soon as he was Raised left the Tower when it became convenient to do so and aligned with his focus.

So her glaring his way was met in return with a stubborn set to his strong jaw, as he tried to look friendly still but honestly, that whole way of living applied to a younger, more patient Nate. "Plenty of things? Like what?" he pressed, "because so far all I've heard is you feel like teaching for now, which seems like a bit of a break from doing the things that really matter." Bold words, but he wasn't going to apologise for saying what he thought. "Do you even know what matters? I have a clear goal and I go out there and do my part to make it happen whenever I can. I don't hide in the Tower with some kids pretending I'm making a difference. Anyone can teach. What we do is better than that. You're better than that. So what are you doing? And more importantly, what can I do to help?"

After all, one of Nate's causes was helping those who couldn't help themselves, and that didn't just apply to villagers being pillaged by bandits and trollocs (though he did certainly appear at a number of those). It was his Bluely Duty to help his fellow Ajah buddy out and work out what she wanted. Or, if she knew, to sufficiently kick her up the backside until she went and did it. They were Blues, not Browns, they had things to do. Liaran's glare was met with an expectant look of his own as he kicked his feet a little, wishing this was Mayene so he could actually go for a swim in the water. Warm, proper sea water. He wasn't going to look away or be distracted though, his focus was now on Liaran. Blues had to stick together.
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------ Murdock -------------- Nathaniel --------------- Maever -------

Alianora
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Alianora » April 22nd, 2018, 9:21 pm

Liaran
Liaran didn't understand why Nate was being so persistent. He might not be an enemy of hers, but they weren't friends, either. She really had no desire to talk about her personal problems with him. She looked back into the water, watching the fish like she had been before Nate had arrived. "I was trying to track down girls who could have the spark," she said. "I'd like to find them before they start channeling, before they can become blocked. Life as a novice here is hard enough without that." She wondered to herself if she'd ever have the courage to return to that. "That's what I was working on, before the war," Liaran explained, and had no intention of telling Nate why she'd stopped pursuing that. She didn't really think he cared, at least until he asked how he could help.

Liaran was silent for a long time after he asked that. You can't, she thought. She bent her head a little, focusing more on the fish she was watching and avoiding looking at Nate. Her hair fell into her face, and she allowed it to hang there instead of swatting it away from her eyes as she normally would have done. "There's nothing anyone can do," she said quietly, more to herself than to Nate. "I don't know why you'd want to, you don't know me." That sounded rather harsh, but it was true. For once, Liaran didn't feel much like being polite.

"Nobody can change what's already happened, or stop the nightmares, or prevent me from reliving what they did to me during the day." Her voice trailed off, and though she knew that Nate probably had no idea what she was talking about, she didn't care. The last thing she wanted was to speak about it again. Liaran just wanted to put everything, her kidnapping, the war, her trial, behind her in the past where those memories belonged. "I don't even know what to do for myself," she said. She sounded irritated, and was, but only with herself. Nate might be annoying, but he wasn't part of the problem she was facing. Her difficulties, her fear, were all in her own mind, and Liaran wished she knew how to rid herself of them.

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Matty
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Matty » April 26th, 2018, 7:00 am

Nate Finding girls with the spark was a very worthwhile activity as far as Nate was concerned, and he smiled approvingly as she mentioned it. They always needed to find women who could pose a risk to themselves and others, and getting them to the Grey Tower before they developed a block was a good idea. Why the pause? Nate didn't know and ultimately it didn't matter.

The Aes Sedai expressed no small amount of confusion as to why Nate would want to help, and the big Blue let out an exasperated huff at the mere questioning of it. "So what if I don't know you? We're both channellers here, and we're both Blues. We have to stick together and... y'know what my cause is? It's helping people who can't help themselves," he said stoutly. "And from where I'm sitting you need someone to step in. Really though, you don't need to worry about the why of it. It's what I do. It's what any decent person would do.

"I don't know what your deal is, and no you can't change anything that's happened. I know that one." The silences were punctuated with reflection, mostly dictated by Liaran. The memory of Viadulo - all clear and crisp in his mind even now - sent a shiver down his spine. Yes, he knew very well what it was like to have something you wanted to change but couldn't. "It ain't about stopping what happened because it already did and I don't care about yesterday. If you look behind you all the time yer gonna walk into a pole; you need to look ahead instead. Easier said than done but moping and not doing anything worthwhile ain't helping yourself at all."

The Asha'man went on with his usual loud voice, "if you don't know what to do, then you need to go find something. Sitting on your hands won't help, but doing something worthwhile will. Go find some more young girls who can channel. Go blow some trollocs up in the Blightborder, give those soldiers a bit of a break. Find a pretty Warder if you're that way inclined." Nate leaned back on his hands, kicking his feet in the water a bit. He was speaking from experience, heading out into the Blight did make him feel better, like he was achieving something. "I think that my own problems become real small when I'm helping other people deal with theirs. It ain't about wiping away what's there, it's about making it better going forwards. But it ain't gonna do itself, you have to go out there and actively work at it. Honestly? I think sitting in the Tower teaching won't help, it'll give you too much time to wallow." The man shrugged, "but that's just me and what I'd do. If you do wanna go somewhere, let me know and I can come with."
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------ Murdock -------------- Nathaniel --------------- Maever -------

Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
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TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Alianora » April 30th, 2018, 12:10 am

Liaran
It irritated Liaran that Nate thought she couldn't help herself, and that was probably because she knew it was true. She turned her head to look at him again, pushing away the pieces of hair that had fallen into her eyes. "I am not moping," she muttered, completely unaware of how childish her statement sounded. "I am trying to figure out how to move on with my life." Whatever Nate said, Liaran knew a trip out of the Tower wasn't going to help her right now. She would never have said so, but even thinking about being gone for more than a day scared her so badly she didn't think she'd be able to do anything if she did try. Liaran sighed and shook her head. "It's nice of you to offer to go with me, but I don't want to leave the Tower right now." I'm just not ready.

She'd hoped Nate might leave her alone then, but wasn't at all surprised when he didn't. What else does he expect me to say? Liaran turned back towards the lake, watching the sunlight on the water, and tried to think. "I've been thinking about spending some time helping out in Tar Valon," she finally said. While she had considered this, she was not certain she could actually make herself do it. Part of her felt obligated, since she'd taken part in the war, and the rest of her, which had been winning the internal argument lately, thought she might fall apart completely if she had to set foot in that city again. That conflict wasn't something she was about to share with Nate. Liaran looked back at the other Blue. "I'm not sure about that, though. I haven't really decided yet."

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Matty
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Re: Reflection (open)

Post by Matty » May 2nd, 2018, 11:57 am

Nate Nate didn’t feel the need to point out that heading to Tar Valon was definitely leaving the Tower, instead opting to offer his usual well meaning but somewhat unsubtle encouragement. “Tar Valon? You should go for it, definitely. I’m going to be heading that way soon. I helped topple the Tower so I ought to see what I can do to damage control, no? And besides, there’s gonna be plenty of people there who need help and that’s what I’m all about.” Nate didn’t exactly enjoy the idea of lots of people needing his help but if they needed it, then he would be there. He gave Liaran a big smile, “I think it’d help if you went along and helped out.”

“Thing is,” he went on, “if you don’t do anything different then nothing will change. And that’s the truth of it. So what’s holding up the decision making? You either go and help, or you don’t. It’s that simple. I think it’d be good for you to go. Good for most people here actually, to remember we’re part of something bigger than these walls. Nothing worse than channellers who never leave and have no idea what’s going on around them.” There were enough of those folk at the Grey Tower and it annoyed Nate to no end when they thought they knew more than him, and actually tried to dictate his timetable! What use was it listening to people at the Grey Tower who didn't know their asses from their elbows? Nate listened to the people out in the field who needed the help the most, not the bureaucrats at the Tower who would have him jump through all these ridiculous hoops in order to do what he was supposed to.

Still with his feet in the water, Nate lay back and put his hands behind his head, looking up at the sky over them. The Grey Tower took up a significant edge of his vision but he ignored that in favour of the blueness of the sky. “There’s a bunch of people heading to Tar Valon. Go in a group,” he suggested to the air. He was certainly nothing if not stubborn and persistent. Just because he didn't care about going on his own didn't mean others were the same, and Liaran might be more likely to go ahead with a visit to Tar Valon if she arranged it with other people.
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------ Murdock -------------- Nathaniel --------------- Maever -------

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