"It isn't that simple," Liaran snapped, with no desire to explain why. She wished she'd never mentioned the idea. Just thinking of the city that haunted her nightmares made her skin crawl, and Liaran shivered. She could almost feel the bite of the whip as it struck, and her eyes closed briefly as she tried to forget it. Those memories were far more clear to her than those she had from the war, of the White Tower falling, no longer a threat to her or to anyone else. She took one deep breath, then another, not wanting Nate to notice how afraid she'd become.
She opened her eyes and looked back towards the water again, reluctantly contemplating what Nate had said. Most of it had just been him trying to push her into going with no concept of how hard it would be for her. The one thing he'd said that had caught her attention had been the suggestion that it might be good for her. It was something that had occurred to Liaran herself before, and part of the reason she was considering going. She continued to breathe deeply while she thought about it, doing the best she could to ignore her fear. It irritated her that she could still feel so scared, and she hated that she couldn't make it stop. Maybe if I go to Tar Valon, see that city once more, I'll be less afraid of it, she thought. It was possible, but Liaran wasn't sure it was likely. She wished she could know whether a trip there would be beneficial, or whether it would just make her fears worse. The Aes Sedai frowned, no closer to knowing what to do than she had been before this conversation.
"I'll think about it," she said after spending more time debating the subject within her own mind. Liaran didn't bother to look at Nate while she spoke. "I'll make my own decision when I'm ready." She lifted her head, sitting up straight. Nate might not approve of that answer, but Liaran did not care.
She opened her eyes and looked back towards the water again, reluctantly contemplating what Nate had said. Most of it had just been him trying to push her into going with no concept of how hard it would be for her. The one thing he'd said that had caught her attention had been the suggestion that it might be good for her. It was something that had occurred to Liaran herself before, and part of the reason she was considering going. She continued to breathe deeply while she thought about it, doing the best she could to ignore her fear. It irritated her that she could still feel so scared, and she hated that she couldn't make it stop. Maybe if I go to Tar Valon, see that city once more, I'll be less afraid of it, she thought. It was possible, but Liaran wasn't sure it was likely. She wished she could know whether a trip there would be beneficial, or whether it would just make her fears worse. The Aes Sedai frowned, no closer to knowing what to do than she had been before this conversation.
"I'll think about it," she said after spending more time debating the subject within her own mind. Liaran didn't bother to look at Nate while she spoke. "I'll make my own decision when I'm ready." She lifted her head, sitting up straight. Nate might not approve of that answer, but Liaran did not care.