The Feast of Thanksgiving (Attn: Marla)

[Craig]

Ravak Darrow

The picturesque blue sky held not a sight of cloud, leaving the sun to fully shine down upon the Grey Tower and its surrounding city. Hama Valon was a warren of excitement and activity today. Goodwives worked furiously at their stoves and cookpots. Husbands set up tables and chairs in the middle of the street in preparation for the meal ahead. Children ran around madly, laughing giddily with one another until an adult set them off on some errand. It was the Feast of Thanksgiving, and unlike so many other holidays that were celebrated across the world, this one seemed to be universally appreciated. Even some of the Aiel at the Tower had been dragged into the fun, or a facsimile thereof.

Ravak strolled through the city with a pleasant grin on his face. He did his best to stay out of the way of the preparations, and dodged around scampering kids. A few years ago and Kaira would have been one of the faces running around. Let someone else do the child-wrangling this year, he mused. It was still lonely without Kaira in the apartment, but all of the novices had to be treated the same. Would she even still wish to live with me, given the choice? His mood soured a touch further.

Beyond the street parties, the market and shops were still open. Before midday, shopkeepers would be physically dragged from their businesses to enjoy themselves, but it was still mid-morning. Rav dabbed at his nose with a handkerchief as he wheedled through the stalls. He had a late winter's cold coming, but it wasn't so bad to bother anyone with it yet. If anything, it helped to soften the general malaise of misdemeanours that were always present in a large enough gathering of people. He stuffed the kerchief back into his shirt pocket even as he sniffled.

Rav bought a few small gifts to hand out later. For Dax, he got a pair of leather gloves, so the Tairen wouldn't have to strike at everything with his bare knuckles if he so chose. A blacksmith's puzzle was acquired for his wife. Rav had a go at solving it, but the bent pieces of metal seemed quite happily intertwined with one another. Perfect for Katrie. For Kaira, he bought something more pragmatic -- stockings. She would need thinner pairs going into the summer, plus one could never have too many spare stockings, if his own socks were anything to go by.

Turning away from a fruit stall with an apple in hand, Rav caught the flash of a novice's dress amongst the throng of bodies. He made his way forward in the general direction, just in case it was Kaira. Once again there was that pang of loss that hit him every time he returned home, with no-one there to greet him. He saw the novice again, but her hair was too flaxen to be Kaira. Rav nudged through the crowd, and popped out right in front of Fiona.

"Why, hello there!" He was going for casual ease, but the surprise in his tone was evident. Which only heightened as he saw the eight banded lines of colour that surrounded the cuffs of her dress. "Accepted? When did that happen?"

[Sunny]

Fiona

Fiona had passed the bloody Arches a week prior, but until that day she had not had a chance to escape the Tower. The Feast of Thanksgiving seemed as appropriate time as any to celebrate her reclaimed freedom, and she had no desire to remain in the dining halls with women whose driving ambition made her skin crawl. Better to be out! And the bouncing dice in her head agreed. The sky soared above in a brilliant blue bowl as the tiny Andoran practically danced down the broad street that led away from the Tower.

Hama Valon had long since been reconstructed, and she took in the unfamiliar structures with eager eyes. She had not had much time to explore the city as a Drin or Ji’val, but she celebrated what little she did remember when she saw it, or mourned it if it no longer existed. Eventually she worked her way to the west market and began to explore what each vendor and shop had to offer. She bought a pocket full of hard sugar candies at one merchant, and then paused, counting the coins in her purse. “That’s probably enough,” she decided, and went back to her exploration, intent on finding gifts for her friends.

She had just turned away from a silversmith’s booth, disappointed that the woman did not have any attractive figurines of dogs, when she heard a familiar voice. “Why, hello there!” She turned on her heel and looked up into the red-nosed face of Ravak Darrow. Her stomach flipped oddly, and she could not stop the pink blush from creeping up her cheeks. The last time she had seen that face, it had been contorted with fear and grief and worry, gaunt with hunger, lack of sleep, and too much work.

The Gaidin’s next words cut through the memory and she shook herself. “About a week ago, Captain Ravak Gaidin Sir,” she said, her tone pert, but her curtsy perfectly respectful. “I’ve been organizing my lesson plans and getting used to my new routine ever since. I have found it is not all that different from being Ji’val, in truth- though I admit, with fewer bruises.”

With an inviting smile, she gestured ahead. “Walk with me? I’m looking for a few gifts, and shopping is far more entertaining with two people.” He didn’t seem to object, insofar as he joined her; they strolled forward at a leisurely pace. “I see you went and got yourself promoted as well,” she commented, smiling up at him. “How do you like it so far?”

[Craig]

Ravak

His free hand rose to the pin on his lapel. Feast day or not, Ravak Darrow wore all of the trappings of his rank and station: fancloak, swords, and badge of office. "Oh, it's a bit strange. I don't need to tell you that I used to run around after Drin and Ji'val, making sure things were in order. Now I'm doing much the same, but with nobles through the medium of letters. I've gone from being a teacher to a secretary." His tone was mild, but a dark line creased his brow. "All in service to the Tower." He sighed and shrugged, a man very much consoled to his lot in life.

He took a bite of the apple, savouring the juices before chomping his way through it. "Kinda miss having excuses to get out of the city. Even if it was just to take people out on their survival test. Not that we do that any more." Things had changed in Ravak's time at the Tower, and monotony was starting to become the norm. "Still, can't complain."

Without realising, Ravak fell into a familiar routine of following Fiona like he had many an Aes Sedai before, one hand on a sword hilt, eyes scanning for danger. He sniffed the air, which just sounded disgusting with his cold. Nothing was vastly amiss.

"Anyways, Accepted. That means you get to study what you like freely, right? Are we going to see you in the Yards a bit more, spending all that extra time becoming the next Blademaster-slash-Aes Sedai? The second one, if I'm not mistaken." He grinned, not quite serious, but curious none the less. "I imagine you'll be going Green?"

[Sunny]

Fiona

Fiona blinked, momentarily confused by Ravak’s guarded position behind her. It had been years, and yet still she expected him to loom over her as he had the day she told him about Jem and Amon. Things had changed since then, however, and she knew some of it had to do with the dress she wore. At least he had not forgotten her skills.

“Yes, you certainly shall,” she answered his first question cheerfully. “As soon as I get my schedule settled.

“I told you I wanted to make a difference in the world,” she continued in a more serious tone, “and that hasn’t changed simply because I changed gray for white. However, my ability to channel is as unassuming as my stature. I will travel a lot, I am certain...and I will need other ways to defend myself out there.” She waved her hand languidly in a direction meant to indicate outside of Hama Valon.

“Plus, how could the Lady Trakand pass up a chance to see a bunch of half-naked men hit each other with sticks?” She winked at him, then turned away to examine a tray of silver rings that a peddler had proffered to her. The gesture allowed her to hide her burning cheeks, but his snort told her perhaps not as successfully as she had hoped.

“For Ajah...perhaps Green. It suits the part of me that belongs to those Yards.” Her tone became musing. “Perhaps Yellow, however. Asha’man Maever is a dear; he and Christianne Sedai are both very interested in my Talent for Healing and insist I belong there. I have some time to decide, thankfully. Vanya Sedai said I would be lucky to choose my shawl before my siblings die of old age.” She could not quite keep the irritation out of her voice. The Mistress of Novices did not have to be that brutal!

The small woman turned to face her companion finally, studying his face intently. “Speaking of my Talent: you sound awful. Unless you actually enjoy being miserable, I’m going to Heal you.” She lifted her hand and pressed her fingertips against his temple.

[Craig]

Ravak

The familiar, yet never welcoming, frigid fire and blazing ice ran through his frame. Countless times he'd been Healed, from the direst of mortal injuries to the sniffles like he had just now. It only occurred to the Gaidin, as the tempest inside him faded, that this was the first time he'd not been asked about being Healed. Not that it troubled him in the slightest as he sniffed through clear sinuses, but he noted it nonetheless.

"Thank you," he murmured with a slight bow. An earnest smile bloomed across his face. One of his Drin -- he'd ceased thinking of them as his children after Kaira -- had grown into something beyond his wildest expectations. There was always a sense of pride to be felt after hearing about any of his former trainees' accomplishments, but there was something more to be appreciated here in Fiona. His mind just wouldn't let him come up with the right word to describe it.

Ravak's mind returned to the conversation. "Maever is a dear. His way of looking at the world is a touch infectious. Which may not be a positive thing to say about a Yellow, in retrospect. As for Vanya Sedai..." He let the words trail off. It wouldn't be proper to say anything disparaging about the Mistress of Novices in the presence of one of her Accepted. "Well, I'm sure she was being overdramatic." He certainly hoped she was. Not being one of the Oathsworn made it so she was able to lie, at least.

He let the rest go without comment. He'd never been involved in a sister's choice of Ajah, nor would he wish to step into that quagmire. Not being on bad terms with any of the Ajahs was a feat, but he had tread softly at the right time to ensure that. As for 'Lady Trakand' and her half-naked men, well. "I'm pretty sure I told you once not to have relations with any of the learning ranks," he mockingly chided. He continued on wryly. "Vanya Sedai would not appreciate the 'disruption' to your studies, and I'm sure Julian would have similar words to say."

A soft clicking sound came to the Gaidin's attention as his words and thoughts ceased. A moment later he became aware of the source: his thumbnail flicking against the edge of his pommel. He regarded the tick with curiosity, before granting himself the mental leave to continue.

"I told you I wanted to make a difference in the world."

So did I. So did I.

The taller Gaidin found himself being outpaced by the Andoran as his mind and body drew to a stop.

"Fiona?" The solemnity of the Shienaran's tone stopped Fiona, who turned back to regard her companion with concern. Rav drew closer so that even in the busy market, his words would only carry to her ears alone.

"Fiona, if you reach the shawl, when you reach the shawl, take me with you." He ran a hand through his hair, but his eyes remained transfixed on hers. "If you want someone to help make a difference, that is." His expression turned a touch bashful as he appended, "Assuming you don't already have someone else in mind."

[Sunny]

Fiona

Fiona moved on to the next stall, giving the Tinker woman within a pleasant smile despite the stranger’s painfully bright yellow and red dress. At least the garment fit well, but why did they choose such garish fabric? She listened to Ravak with half an ear, her lips twitching up in a smile at his hasty attempts to comfort. Vanya Sedai certainly had meant every word that came out of her mouth. That had only given Fiona more reason to prove the woman wrong.

Something in the Gaidin’s tone stopped her before she could ask for assistance with a large brass mirror that hung just too high for her to see into. Ignoring the Tinker’s curious inquiry, Fiona turned to face her companion. To her shock, he stepped so close they nearly touched; she felt the hairs on her forearms rise, her breath first catching, then stopping entirely as the full import of what he was saying crashed through her.

Take me with you.

She couldn’t have looked away from him to save her life, her fingers clutching white wool skirts so tightly they would surely tear from tension. He had said the same once before, in another time and place. Before the illness, before things had gone wrong. She could remember it as clearly as any other exchange they had ever had, no matter that it hadn’t actually happened at all. Supposedly. “It wasn’t real!” the unguarded words burst from her lips in a startled hiss as she grabbed his arms, looking up at him with wild blue eyes. “They told me it wasn’t real.” If Ravak wanted to protect her here, what else would prove true? Would the Dark One cover the land in taint-driven plague? Would she watch everyone she loved suffer and die? Did Murdock actually have children? Dear Light!

“What do you mean?” Ravak sounded utterly perplexed, and his confusion brought her back to the present with a thump.

“It’s- it’s-” She let him go, her hands rising to her face as she squeezed her eyes shut. She could almost feel the tainted weariness creeping through her bones, could remember his voice telling her Nothing that matters anymore. Had he survived? It wasn’t real. “It’s complicated,” she said finally, scrubbing at her cheeks. “I’ll explain if- if you want,” she thought that might be against the rules and found she did not care, “But first…”

She met the Shienaran’s eyes once more, back straight and voice steady as she spoke. “If you mean what I think you mean, Ravak Darrow, then by the Light, if the Tower deems me worthy to wear a shawl, it would be my honor to take you with me.” She smiled up at him with unabashed delight. “I would have no other.” She hadn’t intended on saying that, but as the words tumbled from her lips, she realized they were true.

[Craig]

Ravak [subtitle]This above all: to thine own self be true,[/subtitle]

When Fiona gripped hold of his arms, Ravak was concerned. Then as she wiped her tears away, he was anxious. There was a secret that Fiona wanted to shed light on, and Rav wasn't sure if that would have been a clever idea. Something about her panic told him that even if it distressed her, it wasn't something we wanted to know.

But then came the pledge.

Two things told him that he should back away from what had just been said. There was a solid hump in his throat and his stomach felt lighter than air. He knew the signs. He'd been on this earth for long enough to know when his heart was about to do something stupid. All he had to do was walk away now -- right now! -- and disaster could be averted.

He stood silently, unmoving, as his mind urged him to turn away. But he knew he had as much control over this situation as he did over when the rains would come.

Ravak bowed formally, although his gaze remained transfixed on Fiona's sparkling blue eyes. "You honour me, Fiona Trakand." That was earnestly and honestly stated, with no hint of mockery for her surname. He took hold of one of her hands, and pressed his lips to the Great Serpent ring she now wore. "By the Light and by my honour, I shall wait for you." He clapped his other hand over hers. "And thank you."

[Sunny]

Fiona

The Gaidin bowed, and Fiona stared, surprise mixed with glee still coursing through her body in tingling warm waves. He will wait for me. She made no move to pull away; in fact, the Accepted wasn’t entirely sure she could move at all. It wasn’t real, she reminded herself. What Ravak did in that moment bore no relation to what had happened in the Arch. And yet…

And yet.

The Andoran took a breath and he straightened, their hands separating as if nothing had happened at all. “Well then,” she said- and then did not know how to continue. Abruptly Fiona realized that she was waiting for the sound of dice or a tug of instinct to tell her what to do. Her luck, which had guided her through so many difficult situations, seemed to have abandoned her, however. She may as well have stood in a hole and waited for a ladder to drop out of the heavens. When in doubt, a Lady relies on honesty first, she remembered Synthia tleling her.

“That’s not at all how I expected this day to go,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing. “I have thought about- about what it would be like to be Aes Sedai, but I have never quite dared to dream that anyone would be willing to go about with me at all, let alone...wait.” She smiled shyly at the Shienaran.

Something rose to the surface of her mind and she blurted without thinking, “why?”

[Craig]

Ravak

Indeed, why?

No, sod that. He bloody well knew why.

The 'honour' of being the Gaidin Captain felt like a millstone around his neck, and a chain around his ankles. He was shackled, if not physically, to his little desk in his little office, conscripted to be Riahana's personal secretary, whilst also having to handle the business of the unbonded Gaidin. It was all of the worse parts of being Master of Training without any of the benefits. Then there was the Hall, when he had to just stand there like a lummox behind Riahana. Not that he minded the Saldaean, but this wasn't exactly what his plan had been coming to the Grey Tower.

Rav scratched at his beard. It was one thing to know the truth, but it was a world apart to come out and admit it to another soul. That he was full of resent that he held such a privileged position was shameful, but it was a shame that only he knew about.

His mouth twisted into a sour expression, brows pulling down into a partial scowl. "The truth?" He could have simply held up his rank as a defence -- "oh, Gaidin don't have to tell Accepted anything" -- but this was Fiona, not 'an Accepted'. He sighed, his whole form seeming to shrink in upon itself. Gently he guided her a few steps over, so they were standing by a wall away from the crowds. Rav didn't want anyone overhearing.

"Truth be told, I want to be of some use again. I didn't join the Warder Yards to becoming a glorified scribe bound to a desk. I came to make a difference in the world, be that fighting along the Blightborder or helping to train a new generation of Warders." Light how he missed being Master of Training. "Seeing someone like you, one of my Drin, become this--" he gestured at her "It brings such a joy. Look at you! You can fight, you can channel. You've got beauty and spirit, such spirit! Then look at me." His hands came crashed back down to his sides. "I don't fight, can't channel. And as for spirit." He shrugged defeatedly. "It's probably on a par with some of the dead we've got buried up by the gardens."

Ravak rested his head against the wall, simultaneously exhausted and relieved that it was all out in the open. He closed his eyes, alleviating his mind from the strain of seeing. "I miss it. Miss being a part of something greater than myself. Miss being useful and having a purpose. I miss..." He opened his eyes again, taking Fiona in. "I miss needing someone, and having someone to be needed by." He flashed the briefest of self-effacing smiles. "I want to be there for someone, for you, to help you become the person you're destined to be."

The lightness in his stomach had returned, but he refused to give into it. His time of foolishness with Accepted was long since over. Because pledging yourself to someone who isn't even a sister isn't foolish, no. Regardless, it was a great deal better than any other fate. The last person who had looked at him as a companion was dead. The last person who had regarded him as a suitable Warder was also dead. He'd take any, either, both.

But not with anyone. Fiona stood apart from the others. The drive to succeed at a life so far removed from where she had started, only to have that life taken away and find herself stuffed in a white dress instead. One that fitted her well, both figuratively and literally speaking. Fiona Sedai would be incredible!

Ravak just quietly hoped he hadn't shoved his boot in it by mentioning how bloody useless he was. After all, it wasn't like pledges couldn't be broken.

[Sunny]

Fiona the Feisty

The deluge of words that came out of Ravak’s mouth took the small Andoran by surprise. She had been standing next to him; now she turned to face him, her head cocked up to watch the Gaidin’s face as he spoke. Helpless. Trapped. Useless. She understood, though he wondered if he knew how close the words struck home. How often had she railed against the rules being built around her as she grew into a woman? Often enough to drive her to take desperate action which had in turn brought her to that very spot, in that very moment.

Luck…

His compliments she just shook her head to. She had come to the Tower to be an Aes Sedai, but had found herself while wearing gray. Now that she wore a banded dress, she almost wished she could go back to the simpler days of thinking she would be a Warder. Becoming Aes Sedai wasn’t much different than becoming a great lady, she had found, even if she did have the power to light things on fire if she chose.

Something in his voice reminded Fiona of her Arch once more. She shifted a little, pushed her hair behind her shoulders. “You sound as if you are dying inside, Ravak Darrow,” she said quietly. Though she used his full name, there was no mockery in her tone, only true concern and respect. “And no wonder. A Gaidin without purpose or direction is like a flower without water or sun.” It wasn’t just a lack of purpose, Fiona thought, giving the man another sweeping look. He sounded lonely and bone-weary, as if he expected to spend the rest of his life alone.

Something tingled within the Accepted, a sense of purpose, of certainty, that what she did next would be right, no matter what it was that she did. Fiona blinked slowly, feeling that odd reckless feeling spread through her like a warm blaze. There it is. It guided her hands, pulling them up to the Gaidin’s chest. Tugged at her fingers, which in turn tugged at his shirt. When he looked down, it guided her tongue, too.

“I rescind my earlier promise,” she said, and though her stomach hurt as the words came out, her voice remained steady. His face closed in, and she shook him a little, pulling his attention back to her. “You are dying inside- you have given up, and you are desperate for relief. If you continue in this manner you will be a husk by the time I reach the shawl. If I wanted a meat shield with no heart, I would hire a bodyguard.” That line of thought upset her, but still that overpowering force pushed her onward.

“I expect much more of someone who would be my Warder. We would rely on each other when there is no one else to rely on. We would protect and defend one another to the last breath. I would depend on my bondmate in ways that even with my Gaidin training I cannot yet imagine. I would require his confidence, his courage, his heart, and his life, the same as he would require from me, and I would require them for the rest of his life.”

Her knuckles pushed back against his chest sharply. Not quite a punch, not the way they stood, but enough to get his attention. “In order for you to give those, you must have them to begin with. I cannot tell you how to get your fire back, but if that promise you just made me means anything, you will find a way.”