The Grey Tower

Haxia stared at the door and did her best not to frown.

After a decade in novice whites, she had gotten used to the dreadful color. She had gotten used to the mundanities- scrubbing pots, floors, even the channeling drills. It was terrible, but Haxia was even used to receiving a letter from her brother perhaps once a year, to the fact that she would never meet her nieces and nephews.

But that felt far away, which was likely for the better. Isla Sedai, on the other hand… Haxia had yet to become used to the fact that the young women who had once been novices beside her were now Aes Sedai. When Amaranie had first earned the ring, Haxia had thought that she would follow soon after- that they would continue their friendship as they had before. But then all of the girls she had known gained the ring, then the shawl, leaving her behind in her novice classes, perpetually fumbling weaves and doing other people’s laundry. Sometimes Haxia wondered if she’d die in novice whites.

The reality of it was a tad more depressing, and certainly less dramatic. In a year or so, once she had finally developed the skills the Aes Sedai demanded, they would put her out of the Tower with a bit of money. She would go home to her brother, and perhaps tutor his children and help run the estate, if his wife could stand her. It sounded dreadfully dull, but it was becoming clear that she did not have the strength to become an Aes Sedai. Not when she watched young girls don novice whites for the first time, then pass their test for Accepted in only a few years… Light, Haxia felt ancient.

But there was no use for that. The Tower still had use for her, even if it was only shepherding new and vulnerable novices about. She was good at it; veteran enough to be considered wise by a young girl, but still approachable in a way Accepted and Aes Sedai often could not be.

Haxia knocked, entering quickly at Isla’s welcome. She curtsied, as one did, with an Aes Sedai. “Isla Sedai, you have a task for me?” After all this time, it wasn’t too difficult to keep the bitterness from her tone, to keep her expression bright and helpful. So she would not be Aes Sedai. There were worse things.

“Thank you, Aes Sedai.” Haxia murmured, stepping past her into the room, stopping where Isla’s gesture indicated. It was becoming easier and easier to simply stand where she was told, do what she was told. She had done it for years now, true, but the placidness was no longer feigned. She had seen the Mistress of Novices eyeing her on more than one occasion in the last few months- Haxia suspected that she would be turned out of the Tower in short order. There wouldn’t be much more of this to endure, and she liked to imagine that it would be easier to forget her bitterness the further she got from the Tower.

So she would not be Aes Sedai! Haxia had been considering running an inn, perhaps on the border of Murandy and Andor. On the Andorian side, of course, to spare her brother the shame. It would be much more interesting than returning home, and the funds the Tower would give her- combined with her own- would be more than enough to start the business. It would be a new adventure. She was looking forward to it, absolutely. Having an occupation would be a novelty. Better than scrubbing chamberpots, at the very least. If there was one thing she was honestly looking forward to- it was hiring someone to do that for her.

“Yes, Isla Sedai.” Haxia had been tasked novice-minding on many occasions now. “Mostly with the younger girls, who need a little more attention. I help them get to lessons, introduce them to some likely friends, that sort of thing.” It was all about making sure the change wasn’t too overwhelming. It was nice to have a peer for that, instead of just the Mistress of Novices. Someone who could speak plainly to you, who didn’t actually have the authority to order a punishment if you misstepped. Haxia could have used someone like that, herself. “Is there a new novice you’d like me to keep an eye on?” It would be out of the ordinary for anyone other than the Mistress of Novices to ask for something like that, but Haxia couldn’t imagine what else this might be about.