Liaran did not need any encouragement to leave the Hall behind her. She wanted to hurry out of there, but the heavy skirt she still held prevented her from moving as fast as she would have liked. Annoyed, she pulled it further out of the way and sped up, not caring how she looked as long as she could move without hindrance. Eventually, she caught up to Haeden, listening while he spoke to her. "I never used to care what anyone thought," she muttered irritably in response, though she quickly noticed the frustration in her voice and apologized. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me," she said, though as she considered it, she found that she did know. She was just tired, overwhelmed from the trial and the words she'd had to say in front of everyone, and needed to be alone in her own rooms for a while.
"As for your mother," she continued, "she's probably a stronger person than I'll ever be."If I'd pushed myself harder, if I were better able to endure....I should have been able to get myself home, to stop myself from committing murder... Her thoughts were disturbing, and Liaran did not speak of them, but instead walked quietly and studied the floor tiles beneath her. She'd thought herself strong and independent once, but it seemed as though she'd left those behind her on the side of the Tar Valon road. She felt both disgusted with and ashamed of herself, for needing Haeden to bring her home, and for the murder she'd committed later on. Some of the others had claimed during her trial that they would have done the same, but it was hard for Liaran to believe that was so. She cast a guilty look up at the Gaidin as she walked, then looked down at the tiles once more.
As they drew closer to the Blue quarters, Liaran looked over at Haeden, expecting him to leave for his own rooms, but he didn't turn. Is he going to walk with me all the way back to my rooms? She found that she didn't mind if he did, though she wasn't sure why he wanted anything to do with her while she remained caught up in the thoughts her trial had stirred up within her. Her low opinion of her own behavior warred with the more sympathetic thoughts several people had voiced during her trial, and for the Aes Sedai, it was more than a little confusing. Liaran kept moving, eager to get to her own rooms. She had to force herself not to look to see where Haeden had gone, even though, in her own mind, she was able to admit to herself that she did not want him to leave.
"As for your mother," she continued, "she's probably a stronger person than I'll ever be."If I'd pushed myself harder, if I were better able to endure....I should have been able to get myself home, to stop myself from committing murder... Her thoughts were disturbing, and Liaran did not speak of them, but instead walked quietly and studied the floor tiles beneath her. She'd thought herself strong and independent once, but it seemed as though she'd left those behind her on the side of the Tar Valon road. She felt both disgusted with and ashamed of herself, for needing Haeden to bring her home, and for the murder she'd committed later on. Some of the others had claimed during her trial that they would have done the same, but it was hard for Liaran to believe that was so. She cast a guilty look up at the Gaidin as she walked, then looked down at the tiles once more.
As they drew closer to the Blue quarters, Liaran looked over at Haeden, expecting him to leave for his own rooms, but he didn't turn. Is he going to walk with me all the way back to my rooms? She found that she didn't mind if he did, though she wasn't sure why he wanted anything to do with her while she remained caught up in the thoughts her trial had stirred up within her. Her low opinion of her own behavior warred with the more sympathetic thoughts several people had voiced during her trial, and for the Aes Sedai, it was more than a little confusing. Liaran kept moving, eager to get to her own rooms. She had to force herself not to look to see where Haeden had gone, even though, in her own mind, she was able to admit to herself that she did not want him to leave.
