Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Home of all the Ajahs, Aes Sedai and Asha'man.
Post Reply
User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » November 15th, 2017, 2:48 am

[subtitle]Day One[/subtitle]
Isla Arkema had not really known what to expect, but she had agreed to let Nyaine take her to see the Mistress of Novices. When she agreed to that, she assented to whatever fate would befall her. She had considered everything from apathy to exile, and tried to be prepared for any of them.

What had happened, once she was there and had explained the situation, was a few words of concern and being brought to the infirmary.

Once she was there, she almost began to wish for exile. What would they do to her here? Her mind began to run through levels of imagination that she didn't know it possessed, having never been possessed of the time for creative pursuits as a child. Once here, she was not given much time for that either, except now as she imagined a variety of new futures even more frightening than what she had contemplated when she first arrived to this place.

Standing against the wall right next to the door, she contemplated escape...but ruled it out. Instead, she watched with a sick stomach as Tia Sedai spoke with a very large man that Isla assumed was an Asha'man. He did not wear the black jacket because he looked like a man who worked a lot, wearing black pants and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his thick arms. He was not a handsome man, but despite his size, there was something...gentle about him.

That put her a little at ease. A very little.

When Tia left, she offered a sympathetic smile. "Gareth Asha'man is a good man and he'll help you," she said kindly, and then left.

Isla bit her bottom lip, hard, and watched as the mountain moved toward her. His head was slightly down and his hands were behind his back. There was a faint smile on his thin lips. "My name is Gareth Asha'man. I am a Yellow. Your name is Isla, yes?" She nodded shakily. "No one here is going to hurt you," he went on softly. His voice was like rocks rubbing against each other. Yet kind. How could rocks be kind? "We are here to help."

"Okay, Asha'man," she whispered.

"Follow me," he said, waving for her to follow him.

Her brought her down the length of the infirmary, and she tried to not look at anything or anyone but her feet as she went. Eventually, they stopped and he turned to open a door. He invited her inside. "This will be your room while you're staying here," he said.

Isla's head snapped up. "Staying here?"

"Yes," he said kindly, but without any quarter given. "You'll stay here while we work through the issues that brought you here. It is to help make sure you do not lapse into that behavior again."

"Oh," Isla said. She realized that she should have seen that coming, but she hadn't.

She stepped inside and looked around. The room was...sparse. There was a bed and a nightstand, with a candle upon it. She noticed there was no lamp. No sharp shards of glass... There was a long-sleeved white shift folded on the bed. A small dresser in the corner. No windows. The flickering darkness from the lit candle made her shudder gently, but she knew there was no way out of this now.

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » November 16th, 2017, 12:56 am

[subtitle]Day Two[/subtitle]
Isla sat on the edge of her barely-slept-in bed, looking down at her forearms. She had the sleeves of her gown rolled up, her arms on her knees, as she looked at the blood marks with shame.

There was a knock on the door, but she didn't answer.

A long pause.

Another knock.

Another pause.

The door opened and Gareth stepped in. He glanced in cautiously and she lifted her blue eyes to meet his, her face otherwise expressionless. "I couldn't stop myself," she said, her hands palm up with her fingers curled slightly, showing the blood and bits of skin under them.

"It was to be expected," he said with more kindness than she thought warranted.

He pulled the chair from the corner of the room and brought it close to her bed, sitting down in front of her. He took each arm in turn and looked over the wounds, every ragged cut in turn. "May I Heal you?"

She opened her mouth to say "no" but stopped herself. Sighing, she just shrugged instead. "I don't want the scars to go away," she admittedly feebly, her defenses low after a sleepless night.

"If I don't Heal them, then I will need to bandage them," he said. "The risk of infection is strong enough when you use a knife, but it's even greater when you use your fingernails. I will not force you to accept the Healing, but we will need to discuss why it is you want the scars to remain."

"I know," she said, still staring at her arms. "Let's...let's just bandage them for now. I'm not ready to let them go."

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » November 28th, 2017, 8:46 pm

[subtitle]Day Three[/subtitle]
Isla nudged a slice of apple around on her place, idly pushing the red-skinned thing with the tip of her middle finger. There was also a sandwich cut into two triangles, one of which she'd managed to take three bites out of.

"Would you tell me how you came by those scars if I asked?" Gareth asked.

The mountain of a Yellow was sitting in a chair in front of her bed, just like he had yesterday. She was sitting on the bed with the plate holding her lunch in her lap, white bandages peeking out from the sleeves of her shift every time she looked at it. They hadn't given her anything that needed a utensil to eat.

She idly picked up the piece of apple and took a bite. It tasted like ashes, but so did everything else. "Honestly? I don't want to. I don't want to talk about them, or anything to do with them."

He nodded slowly. "I think I can understand that," he rumbled softly. "But I don't think you're going to be able to get to the heart of the matter without it." He paused. "But that doesn't mean it has to be now. Why don't we talk about something else."

"Something else?" she asked. The suggestion perplexed her. Wasn't he just going to drill into her until she spoke of what he wanted? Wasn't that what came of being put in a cell because you had done wrong? "Like...like what?"

"Anything you like, Isla." He smiled gently.

The...fatherly look in his eyes almost broke her. How long since she had seen her own father look at her that way? He hadn't since that one moment in that one infernal little village.

"My father called my Izzy," she said abruptly. Her eyes flew open with shock at herself. She swallowed hard.

"When you were a child?" he asked, prompting her by kindly not giving in to her shock. She just nodded, quick and shaky, as if afraid. She was afraid, but what was she afraid of? She didn't even know anymore. "My son's name is Einion," Gareth told her in return. "When I want to bother him, I call him Onion."

Isla laughed. The sound came out more like a truncated bark, and she immediately covered her mouth, but what he said was just so...sudden and ridiculous that she couldn't help it. After a moment, she lowered her hand but there was still a trace of a smile on her lips. "Why would you do that?"

Gareth shrugged his massive shoulders a little. "He's my son. I like to tease him, and keep him from being too serious."

She wrinkled her nose slightly, but it was with amusement. Then it faded. "My father raised me like a son, you know. My mother died when I was born, and I was the only child. He was a military man. He didn't know what to do with a daughter, you know? He didn't tease me, or call me silly names." Her eyes drifted off toward the floor. "Izzy was...a pet name, but it wasn't silly. It wasn't to tease me."

"Every father and child have their own relationship, Isla," Gareth said.

"I suppose so," she said. "I do wonder what my life would've been like if he had raised me differently." Her mind wandered then, wondering what would happened if she hadn't been raised to be a soldier. Then an entire regiment of the Children of the Light would not have been witness to her channeling, and able to throw her in a dungeon.

"Do you wish he had raised you differently?" The question was simple, and quiet. Like he knew the gravity of what he asked.

"No... Yes?" She looked up again, her blue eyes shining. "I don't know anymore."

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » November 30th, 2017, 1:09 am

[subtitle]Day Five[/subtitle]
Gareth Asha'man had given her a couple of "days off" from their talks, for which she was grateful. All the things she didn't want to think about or feel were hovering just beneath the surface of her skin, which was why she kept trying to scratch it open...

There were fresh bandages on her wrists when Thea Sedai walked in that afternoon. Isla looked up with surprise, wondering why this Yellow was here now instead of the other.

"Hello, child," the Aes Sedai said kindly. "I'm here today because they don't want your lessons to go lax, so we are going to do a little practicing with the One Power." Isla eyed her with surprise, but realized that they didn't think her a danger with the power since she wasn't shielded. After all, it was just the skin on her arms that was at risk from her. And her psyche.

"Yes, Aes Sedai," she said meekly.

Thea pulled up the chair that Gareth usually sat in and as she took her seat, the piece of furniture suddenly looked...bigger. "They tell me that you have shown good promise in Healing weaves."

Isla nodded. "Yes, Aes Sedai," she repeated. "I...I took the class and was told I did well enough." She didn't want to talk about how she had enjoyed learning that the One Power could be used to heal rather than hurt, since she had never been taught that while growing up. All she had ever known was that channelers were evil, period. There was no exception. No mitigation. They were evil, and the One Power was used only for the Shadow's ends.

To say all this required speaking of her history, and she did not want to do that.

"Then that is what we'll work on today," Thea said simply, not prying. "Let us embrace the One Power." She did so and then Isla followed suit. As she felt its sweet song spreading through her, she felt better than she had felt in days. She took a long, slow breath and then looked at Thea Sedai, waiting for her next instructions. "Please Delve me."

Isla blinked with surprise, since that was not what she was expecting. One did not question an Aes Sedai, however, so she did as she was told. She formed the fine Spirit mesh that she had been taught and let it fall like an mutable blanket down over the older woman before her. As she did, she "saw" the Yellow to every corner.

"You sprained your ankle this morning," Isla said thoughtfully, a faint frown pulling her brow inward. "It's fairly minor. Judging by the spread of the strain, I would guess that your weight rolled to the outside of your foot while in motion."

Thea's brows rose. "That was more specific than I expected," she said. "You're correct. That is sometimes a problem I have and it happened this morning while I stepped onto the staircase's bottom landing. It is minor so I'm letting it heal on its own."

Isla nodded, though she was still examining what she had "seen." "There is also some pressure strain in your wrist. Been writing much lately?"

"Yes," Thea laughed with obvious surprise. "You are accurate, child."

"That's all I saw," Isla said, shrinking back into herself a little as she wondered if she had said too much.

Thea waved a hand. "Do not ever back down from a gift, Novice Isla. You are learning to be an Aes Sedai of the Grey Tower. You will be a symbol of the Light, and a servant to it. Your words will carry weight, and your actions the pride of the Tower. Do not shrink from the light, child. Do not hide from the good things within you. Do not back down before life, Isla."

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » November 30th, 2017, 3:52 am

[subtitle]Day Six[/subtitle]
Isla hadn't slept well.

It was past morning meal, but she was still laying in bed. The meal sat untouched on the side table, simply because she didn't have the energy to eat it. Well, she could have found the energy, but she just wasn't that interested. It wasn't like she'd had much she could do while being in this room, so there was only so much fuel her body needed.

Her dreams were bad. The emotions they wrought had followed her into the waking world.

There was a knock on the door. "Enter," she called, because she knew whoever it was would come in eventually anyways.

Today, it was Gareth. He stepped inside and looked at her in the bed with a concerned frown, shutting the door behind him. "You look tired," he rumbled laconically as he pulled his chair up to her bedside and sat down. Suddenly, the chair was tiny again. She stared at his arm, which now hid any hint of the wooden seat behind him, and she reflected--absurdly--about the strangeness of perspective.

"I didn't sleep well," she said quietly. "I had bad dreams." Weakly, though, she pulled out her arm and showed the bandage that he had wrapped on her the day before. "I didn't scratch them open. I wanted to, but I didn't."

His frown of concern because a tiny smile. "I'm glad," he said. The words were simple, but sounded sincere. He always sounded sincere, and she wondered how he could be so...genuine all the time. It didn't seem possible, but she struggled to imagine that he didn't mean things. Because he truly seemed in earnest. He was not effusive, or incredibly emotive... It was just a feeling, just a sense of things, but she did trust that sense.

She didn't know why she trusted it, but she did.

"Do you want to tell me about your dreams?" he asked after a few moments of silence while she had been lost thinking about his sincerity.

"No," she answered easily. "But I will talk some. I realize I'm not getting out of here without it." Her fatigue lowered some of those usual defenses. It was like she could see the holes in the walls around her, but she couldn't build them back up. "I was a Child of the Light. A Whitecloak." Isla said it, then stopped and waited for the inevitable reaction...

...that never came.

"I know that, Isla," he said gently. "You'd be surprised the things I learn. I will not say that I am the biggest fan of the Children of the Light." That was an understatement, given what they had tried to do to his wife... "But that was what you were, not what you are now. You are here, and by all accounts, you have been acquitting yourself well in your studies."

"It wasn't easy to get to that point," she admitted ruefully. "I was terrified for a long time, but...I guess I have gotten used to it."

At that, she pushed herself up to a sitting position and leaned back against the wall. She reached out and took a piece of now-cold bacon off her plate, eating it anyway. "My father was a commander and he raised me to be a soldier. I did the best I could and was part of the regiment. It was my family, you know?" Her blue eyes stared off at the ceiling, lacking focus.

Gareth didn't say anything. He had some preternatural ability to know when to talk and when not to talk. He knew that if he waited long enough, she would go on, and she did.

"Then...I channeled. I don't even remember what I did. Can you imagine?" She laughed mirthlessly, darkly. "I can't even remember the damn weaves that put my head on the chopping block. But they saw it. I was arrested and thrown in the dungeon. Can you imagine? They wanted me to tell them how long I'd been a witch, how long I'd known, and if I'd made contacts with other witches."

She shook her head slowly. It was really more just letting it flop side to side as she leaned it back against the wall. "I told them, again and again, that I hadn't known until they knew. I didn't know any others. I had never turned against them..." Her eyes stung with tears. "I almost lied to them, just to make them stop..." Her last words were almost inaudible.

"Is that where your scars came from?" Gareth asked softly.

"Yes."

The word was almost strangled out of her, but she said it.

Then it was just too much. She closed her eyes and shook her head so fast that it whipped back and forth now. "I can't say anymore," she gasped through the tears tightening her throat.

"It's okay, Isla," his deep voice soothed. "You don't have to say any more right now. But you are safe now. You're okay here."

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » December 20th, 2017, 6:37 am

[subtitle]Day Eleven[/subtitle]
It had been four nights since the last time Isla had cut herself. The previous wounds were nearly healed, revealing simply the angry scars beneath.

She was allowed out of her room for a time, although no further than the infirmary since they still wanted to keep an eye on her. This of course gave her rather limited options for her little outing, but she wasn't going to turn it down. The walls of that room were stuffy, and terribly reminiscent of a cell. And the idea of the cell was increasingly discomfiting. Even just the larger space of the infirmary felt like a great release.

It was during her walk that she really took the time to look at everything.

Isla stood for a long time to look at the drying herbs hung above the tall workbench before she looked at the top of the bench itself, taking in each took of the trade and wondered what each one did. Some she was able to figure out on her own, and others she knew she was making up her own stories for. Those stories, of course, she was fairly sure would be momre interested than the reality.

Wasn't that always the way?

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » December 20th, 2017, 3:27 pm

[subtitle]Day Fourteen[/subtitle]
Isla found freedom in wearing something other than her nightshift.

She sat on the bed with her legs folded in front of her, wearing plain brown breeches with a white blouse untucked. No shoes. Nothing else. But that was okay. She was perfectly content to not have to wear the Novice whites. Those dresses were fairly abominable. She knew that once she was Aes Sedai--how easily she could think of that now--she could wear what she wanted. For now, she was stuck with what they gave her.

Gareth had his big form hiding the chair again. They had been talking casually for a little while, but his long silence told her that a "serious" question was about to come her way.

"How would you describe your father?" he finally asked.

"My father..." she said slowly. This was something she should have seen coming, and she had, just not today. She looked at her hands in her lap before replying. "If you had asked me that a few years ago, I would have said he was a good man. A righteous man. A man of--" She had to swallow hard when her voice cracked around the words. "--conviction."

The Yellow nodded slowly. "And what if I asked you now?"

A question she really didn't want to answer, but she knew that she had to. She bit her lip, rolling it back and forth. "...I don't know," she finally said, her voice just barely above a whisper. "I think...he's misguided. But I know he loves me." Isla licked her lips nervously as she looked up at him. "He let me out of the prison after all, and he told me to come here, even though it went against...everything."

She pulled at a strand of dark blonde hair, looking at it as she curled it around her finger.

"I still miss him, you know," she said quietly, not meeting Gareth's eyes this time. "There's a part of me that says I shouldn't, you know, because of what he is and what I'm becoming...or being trained to become...but I can't help it."

"He's still your father," the gentle Yellow pointed out kindly. "It's alright to miss him."

Now she lifted her light eyes, though just to look at him from under her lowered brow. "Is it?"

He nodded. "Yes, it is. I promise."

He was Oathbound, so whether he was "right" or not, she knew he meant it. That made her smile faintly. "Do..." she began on an impulse, stopping to collect her thoughts better. "Do you think I could get a quill and ink, and some paper?"

Gareth was quiet for a moment, considering. "Yes," he finally said, "but you must understand that we can't yet leave the quill in here overnight."

Isla sighed and nodded slowly. "I understand."

The things were brought after they stopped talking, but she didn't do anything with it for a long time. It wasn't until after dinner, when she knew her time with it was running out, that she sat at the desk. She knew she had to be careful, but she wanted to at least do this much.

I am safe. I am well.
~ Lala


She worried that someone else might read it, and she didn't want to cause her father any more trouble than she already had in his life... So she only told him of her current state, using the nickname he had called her when she was very young--before the regiment became her "family". The name they were not likely to know.

It was sealed and ready to go when they came to fetch the items.

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » December 20th, 2017, 3:54 pm

[subtitle]Day Seventeen[/subtitle]
Isla held her cup in both hands, sipping frequently to drink the tea before it went cold.

It had been two days of lessons with Thea Sedai to work on her channeling, and a few more lessons with Derren Asha'man to keep on top of her non-channeling lessons. No one wanted her to be forced to fall behind because she was required to remain in the infirmary. While she wanted to be able to go out of here and attend the classes in person, she was at least happy for the break in the monotony. And on some level, she enjoyed the learning.

Now, she was back with Gareth and they were talking about her father again. She spent much of her time staring into her teacup, as if there were answers there...or maybe an escape.

"Why do we have to talk about my father again?" she asked with a breathy touch of defeat. "I mean, what else is there to say?"

"I think there's a great deal to say, Isla," Gareth replied gently. "We are trying to understand what it is that's been driving you to hurt yourself the way that you have been."

Isla shrugged uncomfortably. She looked at the wall now, biting her lip. He waited. He did that. The Yellow would just...sit there like a statue, and he would wait in perfect quiet. All she could hear was the sound of his breathing. It was his tactic. He knew she could only tolerate the quiet for so long and would start talking eventually. She tried to hold out, but he always won.

Even without a coherent string of thoughts in her mind, she realized--after a few moments--that she was crying.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Isla," he said. His voice was low, soft in its rumbling. Fatherly.

"It's by fault," she whispered.

He paused and she saw, from the corner of her eyes, him tilt his head a little. "What's that?"

In an explosion of emotion that even she hadn't seen coming, she jumped to her feet and flung the teacup at the wall. The porcelain smashed and the remains of the light brown liquid ran down the pale yellow paint. "It's my fault!" she all but screamed, yet her voice was hoarse as the tears poured harder.

Gareth sat unfazed. "What is your fault?" His tone was the same. Patient. Gentle. Kind.

"Everything!" She sobbed and fell back to a seat. "I have been nothing but a plague upon my father's life, and I tried so hard to do right by him." She gripped her hair, pulling until it hurt. "I was weak and I became all of that which he stood against, and then I broke his righteousness because his love for me made him weak and he set a witch free! And it's my fault!"

"Do you believe you're a witch?"

The question was...so unexpected that it actually halted the onslaught of raging emotion and made her look at him. Her face was still hot and tight, tears still streaming, but she paused. She breathed.

"No," she said softly. "I don't...but it's still my fault. He raised me to be like his son, because he had none. And...he had only me. B...be...because I killed my mother just for being born." Her face crumbled again. "He never said he blamed me, but how could he not? I was born and she died. And I did my best, I did, I really did my very best to be the best for him and make it up to him, and I did for a while. I was a good daughter! I was a good soldier!

"And...then...this..." she hiccoughed her way through the words. "A man of conviction brought so low."

Gareth was quiet, letting her weep away her emotions for several long moments before his big hands reached out and took both of her small ones. "None of it was your fault, Isla," he said softly. "You were not responsible for the will of the Wheel in the claiming of your mother. You were an infant, with neither will nor power. And you made no choices for your father. If he chose his love over his job, that was his choice. None of this puts you to blame."

She wanted to believe that, but it was a war within her mind. She threw herself against his broad torso, weeping against his shoulder like she would have if he had been her father. And yet she would never have allowed herself to show such emotion to her father. But it was safe with Gareth, and he embraced her back. She had not even embraced her father when she fled, worried he might think she was...too impure to be his daughter now.

Eventually, she let go and sat back on the bed. She had nothing left within her now.
* * * "Catch me, Papa!"

Isla. Four years old.

She stood on the edge of the bed with her little arms up, hands flapping as she waited for her father to draw closer. "Catch me! Catch me!" When he was in range, she jumped up as high as she could! ...which wasn't that high, but her father caught her anyways and he smiled. And he laughed. He spun her around.

"I will always catch you, Lala. You're my child."


Isla woke up, laying on her side and staring at the floor.

Her room had been cleaned of the broken cup and tea, but in the dim light the squeaked in from under the door, she saw something glint. Her body trembled with terrible, bittersweet emotions as the dream replayed in her mind. Crawling off her bed, she moved toward the glint and found a shard of porcelain. It was vaguely triangular, with a sharp edge.

Tears streamed down her face until she was sure blood would follow.

Blood. It hurt. Light, did it hurt.

Trembling harder, she held out her arm and held the shard in her other hand.

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » December 20th, 2017, 4:01 pm

[subtitle]Day Eighteen[/subtitle]
There was a knock on the door, and a Novice working in the infirmary opened the door a moment later with a tray in her hands. Breakfast was on it, Isla could smell it as soon as the door opened. The young girl stepped inside, then saw Isla. The girl gasped and vanished immediately, but to her credit, she did not drop the tray.

It was barely a heartbeat later, or so it seemed, before Gareth came in. Isla knew what he saw the moment he walked in. He saw her, sitting on her bed with her back to the wall. Her arms were on her legs, forearms and palms up. Both arms in two dozen long cuts, bleeding all over themselves as well as on her nightshift below them. She just sat, and stared. Hearing him come in, she looked up and met his gaze. His was filled with sorrow.

"Isla..." he said, almost pained.

"I've been punishing myself, Gareth," she whispered. "I cut myself last night, yet it brought me no relief. It was pain, but nothing more. I have looked in my blood for the answers. And now I have them. Now I know better. I don't deserve this." Her pale eyes drifted back to her arms with a distant, discomfitted frown.

"I'll fetch some bandages," he rumbled softly, "and then we'll talk."

"No."

When he turned back, she was looking up at him again.

"No?"

"No," she repeated. "You can Heal them."

User avatar
Bella
Female Channeller Representative
Posts: 5615
Joined: April 14th, 2015, 11:28 pm
PC: Miahala Darrow Sedai
SC: Lysira Viathene Gaidin
TC: Gareth Tomosan Asha'man
QC: Natlya Cade Gaidin
QC: Andraste Alhandra Sedai
Location: New England

Re: Twenty-One Days [Closed]

Post by Bella » December 20th, 2017, 4:57 pm

[subtitle]Day Twenty-One[/subtitle]
Isla looked down at herself as she smoothed the white fabric of her Novice dress over her abdomen and hips. She couldn't help but notice that both seemed a little...softer than they had been when she'd first arrived at the Grey Tower. The lean body of a soldier, who had then spent days being tortured and later starving for a few days, had now given way over the years to something...more like an average woman. She honestly wasn't sure what she thought about that, but it was nothing could be changed just then.

However, the biggest difference was beneath. Not the least of which was the mostly smooth skin of her arms. The wounds on her arms had been Healed, and now there was just the faint traces of the original scars. Nothing could be done for them but to fade with time.

There was a knock on the door. "Enter," she called, looking up and smiling when she saw Gareth walk in. "How are you feeling?"

I'm on a highway full of red lights
I lost so many long nights
Felt words that cut like knives


She considered her answer before giving it to him, wanting to offer as much truth as she could. "I'm alright," she finally said, with conviction. "I feel alright for the first time in a long while."

"There'll still be more work to do," he said, leaning back against the doorframe. "This isn't the end of it all. But I do think you've broken through it enough to go back to your day-to-day tasks, and come to see me on an out-patient basis."

"I know," she said solemnly. "I don't know how much is buried in my mind, but I at least realize that it's there. And it's time to do something about it."

I know I know they're gonna
Say what they wanna
I know they're gonna
Say what they want


Isla sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at him as they spoke. There remained that faint, although slightly distant, smile at the corners of her mouth. "I haven't felt the urge in the past nights," she said. "It will probably come back at some point, though. At least here and there. Won't it."

He nodded slowly. "Chances are good that it will," he said, "like we talked about yesterday. But you'll remember what we did talk about, what to remember and do if you feel that urge come back?"

The Novice appreciated that he said "if" the urge comes back, rather than "when." He was not condemning her future before it had started.

But I feel it changing
I can taste it, I'm on the wave and
I won't waste it
I have been patient
But I'm not waiting anymore
Not anymore, no


"You're going to be alright, Isla," Gareth said with a small, but warm smile. "You've come a long way in just the past few weeks, and I believe that you've learned a few things about yourself."

"I have," she agreed. "You made me look inside, and I never really had before."

He nodded. "It's something that we all must do from time to time, whether we want to or not. Whether we think we'll like what we see or not."

I'm gonna dance on broken glass
On broken glass
And I'm gonna make that ceiling crash
That ceiling crash


Isla rose to her feet, feeling...resolute. She smiled and bowed her head to him. "I intend to do so more often, Asha'man. I thank you for your help, and your care. Both were immeasurable. I feel like a different woman, and yet I'm not. Strange, that."

Pushing himself from the frame, he gave her that smile again. "You are Isla, and so you will remain. You will simply grow, and improve, but you will always be you. And that is a good thing." He inclined his head slightly in return. "I will be here for you if you need anything else in the future, aside from the regular visits we'll be having."

She nodded. "Of course. I will remember that."

So what? Still got knives in my back
So what? So I'm tied to the tracks
I'm gonna dance on broken glass
And here I go, here I go
Here I go, here I go


Gareth walked her out of the room and then to the door. When they got to the entrance to the hallway, she peered out and took a deep breath. After twenty-one days in this place, out there...was almost frightening, and yet she really looked forward to it. She turned back in the doorway, offering her hand to the Asha'man. Maybe it was improper in any other situation, for a Novice and Asha'man, but she knew that this was something else entirely. He chuckled and took her hand, dwarfing hers as they held for a moment.

"It's time to get back to your life," he said.

"It is." She smiled, and moved away from him and into the hallway.

So I bet on me and my own heartbeat
When all the odds are piling
Like bricks around my feet

You know you know it's more than
More than just for me
You know it's worth it
I still believe, yeah yeah

I'm gonna dance on broken glass
On broken glass
And I'm gonna make that ceiling crash
That ceiling crash

So what? Still got knives in my back
So what? So I'm tied to the tracks
I'm gonna dance on broken glass
Here I go, ya here I go

Through to the other side, baby I'll survive
Cause you know I'm a fighter
Through to the other side, baby I'm on fire
Cause you know I'm a survivor


There was a long road ahead of her, and she knew that now. Isla had never realized the road was even there, but now she knew. So much was still shrouded in the fog, but there seemed to be more than one ray of light now. She felt like she might just be able to see the path... It was a path that would help her to reconcile conflicts in her heart that she had only allowed to grow by keeping them in the shadows, only felt in blood. To reconcile things she had felt since a child that she'd had no idea.

One foot in front of the other, but she was worlds ahead of where she'd been. And felt...hope, for the first time again in a long time.

She had a future, and it was one with light and goodness, and it was one she deserved.

Here I go, here I go

Post Reply
meble kuchenne na wymiar cennik

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests