Choices [Carra please!]

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Sunny
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Sunny » October 26th, 2014, 3:30 pm

Jaryd
After a moment of hesitation, Jaryd followed. He let the Ward dropped as they passed its boundaries, and adopted the hang-dog attitude of someone who had just received a blistering reprimand. Let the eavesdroppers make of that what they would!

To his surprise, Carra led him underground. They put her in the basement? Why not a guest chamber? Why not… He supposed there really weren’t many good places to put a new Red in a Tower that was divided like a pie. He followed her siting room as she spoke, and stopped just short of the furniture facing the fire. “If you thought I were so trite as to allow mismatched furniture and a lack of windows determine my Ajah choice, I am certain you would never have given me a chance to see it,” he commented dryly.

“I…understand…what you are saying. In a world so defined by Light and Shadow, it can be difficult to stand with one foot in both and acknowledge the benefits of each without the world automatically assuming you serve the Shadow.” He shuddered “I had planned on joining the Grey Ajah, because I thought perhaps their focus on negotiation and compromise would provide the most understanding environment, but even they are still so focused on peace that the idea that a war could be a good thing makes their eyes bug out.”

He smiled abruptly remembering an encounter with a Grey named Jillian. “Have you ever asked a Grey if she would kill the Dark One if given the chance, and then asked why?” His eyes danced. “Or for that matter-“ he cut off, realizing something.

“Channelers have a much larger effect on the Pattern than normal people,” he observed slowly. “Do you intend for the Red Ajah to hinder them from pushing that effect too far?” He wasn’t sure how to say it right, but the connection was suddenly there in his head. The traditional Red Ajah had hunted men who could channel in order to avoid another Breaking or, in other words, to prevent total chaos from taking over the world. Though the reality of their actions was questionable, they, too, had fought to keep the world from falling too far to either side of the spectrum. The Grey Tower’s Red Ajah could do the same, on a much broader spectrum.
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False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
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Carra
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Carra » October 27th, 2014, 7:02 pm

Carraidhin
"I figured you were harder skinned than most. Aes Sedai and Asha'men ranks come with a certain amount of ... luxury. It has become an expectation for many that go through the ranks." Having shut down a part of her that cared for him, there was a harshness to her tone as she spoke. It wasn't directed at him but she did judge the Tower harshly for some of its... choices. Waste, Carra hated to see waste.

"All the Ajah's seem to have their own glorified cause for the Light that they miss the purpose of darkness." She gave a shrug, "I don't think they would understand balance if it replaced their morning tea." She took a seat in her chair and welcomed Jaryd to sit in the large love seat couch beside her, the one that faced the fireplace directly.

She thought on his last questions with careful consideration. It was hard for her to set a defined path for the Red Ajah when she spent more time fighting being Red Ajah then she thought on what the Red Ajah stood for. Yet, even still his words were better at explaining what the Red Ajah could be simply by the questions he asked. Perhaps he would be a good fit.

"I am still discovering what I intend for the Red Ajah along with how far I dare push it with the other Ajah's. I am greatly outnumbered so if I were it would require a certain amount of.. weight. Foretelling will help but can hinder just as much." She didn't dare admit that she feared having the talent grow and lose control. She disliked the idea of not being in control of her gifts. "But you have the jest of the Ajah's concept. Additionally, I want to avoid more of the "alone" aspect that you mentioned by creating allies with the other Ajah's. The White Tower's Red Ajah was notorious for alienating other Ajah's and one of the best first steps to mend that mentality is to start making.. friends."

For someone who did not go out of her way to be kind to other Aes Sedai and Asha'man because they looked down on those of lower rank and skill did not help her case, but it also helped build a certain amount of respect for her resolve. They knew she wasn't flighty and her actions show purpose. Carra hoped it was enough.

Sunny
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Sunny » October 28th, 2014, 5:17 am

Jaryd
Jaryd forced himself not to sprawl across the love seat as he might once have. Instead, he sat carefully to one side as he listened to Carra’s musings. It takes guts to accept, let alone voluntarily create, a responsibility that one does not find tasteful, he thought when she spoke of making friends.

Could he really be thinking of joining her on this path? What would she do if her petition were denied? What would he do, if he set his heart on being Red, and then it were denied him? What would happen if something happened to Carra before he actually achieved the Dragon pin?

So many questions, and no definite answers. Such uncertainty made him squirm, and yet he could not ignore the overwhelming feeling that he had finally –finally!- put his feet on the right path. Is this how other Dedicated feel when they finally choose their Ajah? He wondered, unconsciously toying with a black stone that hung on a thong around his neck.

“There are many things that would assist in the process of stabilizing the Red Ajah and achieving its goals,” he commented. “Some of those things would definitely be easier than others. I know that I may be more of a liability than an asset on the friendship front until I have been allowed to outlive my past,” he shook his head, “But given the opportunity I could provide…other benefits.”

“I think the best thing that could possibly happen to guarantee the future of the Red, however, is for a man to join you. Whether that person is me or another, having a man and a woman in the Red Ajah would certainly…force our lord the bloody M’hael to acknowledge that the Ajah is real and necessary. It would also provide a certain level of balance within the Ajah itself, in my opinion, which would be…rather fitting, given the theme of our conversation so far.”

“Have they tried to prevent you from speaking to the Accepted and Dedicated so far?" He inquired. The gossips in the Garden had certainly made it seem that way, but...gossip was gossip.
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False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
There's still a chance for me...and I'm still here singing.

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Carra
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Carra » October 28th, 2014, 5:36 am

Carraidhin
Carra thought on his words, ignoring his arrogance as he also dismisses her's. It was a strange exchange of banter where they really did only regard what the other was telling each other even if it wasn't exactly what or how they were saying it. I believe he has decided, and now is only fishing. Carra thought to herself.

"Friends are not detestable, but they do leave you vulnerable." Not to mention the required favors in return. Carra never did well with friends until recently, and even then most she kept at arms reach. "It would be good to have a man join the Red Ajah, or another woman. Either could be of help. Although I am afraid it is not the M'Hael that needs to recognize us, it is the Hall." For once Carra forgot her slip, having grown comfortable in the conversation. "Once Aes Sedai and once chosen an Ajah we can not be denied that choice. It is whether they allow us to stay or be exiled is the question." It was clear Carra wasn't bothered with either of those answers. She didn't need the Grey Tower or the White Tower to do what she wanted in the world. The money, however, did help make her tasks easier.

"As for speaking with the Accepted and Dedicated, I have not spoken out about it?" There was a certain resolve around her, "I have made myself available as a teacher and I have been given enough charges to keep me from 'running out of the Tower'. By being a familiar, friendly face I have welcome'd questions without purpose recruiting those to the Red Ajah. Like I said earlier, not everyone can be Red Ajah and the Red Ajah isn't for everyone. I have my eye's on a few, mostly Soldiers interestingly enough. People like you and me, with less than idea backgrounds. Survivors." Because only those that know how to Survive can handle being here like this and be satisfied.

"None have really asked me anything before you, has there been whispers that I have not heard? I don't quite have the resources other Aes Sedai have." She added, dryly, even though it hinted humor behind her eyes.

Sunny
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Sunny » October 28th, 2014, 6:00 am

Jaryd
Jaryd glanced down, embarrassed to be called out about Tower law. He had known the Hall normally made such decisions! But surely with such a major change, Riven’s input would be an essential piece when making a decision? Would they really let Carra simply…leave…the Tower? That seemed like a dangerous and unlikely choice to him, but…the Hall had made stranger choices since his arrival at the Grey Tower.

He smiled at the idea of being dubbed a survivor. Did it apply? That was something to think about at another time. Did survivors kill their loved ones, run from trials of courage, and throw women into ponds? He supposed they did. It wasn’t those actions that defined his status, it was the fact that he was still alive.

Her next words brought him up short though. “Have there been whispers I have not heard?” He missed what else she said, because he abruptly realized that he had initiated this conversation after hearing two women gossiping…and he now had to admit as much to a woman he desperately wanted to respect him. No one respects a liar, he told himself sternly.

“Well…” he said slowly, “I imagine you’re already aware that the entire Tower is in an uproar over your choice, so you have probably heard everything I did.” She gave him a sharp look, and he reluctantly continued. “I was reading in the Gardens when I heard two women talking about your Ajah choice,” he admitted. His swarthy face had grown perceptibly darker, even in the firelight. “I had not known prior to that moment that you had been raised, let alone chosen an Ajah. I don’t know why they were talking- it may have been idle gossip and they may have been genuinely interested. I didn’t stay to find out before coming to find you.” At least he hadn’t participated in senseless gossip, and had come straight to the source to learn more. That has to count for something….right?
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False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
There's still a chance for me...and I'm still here singing.

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Carra
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Carra » October 28th, 2014, 6:13 am

Carraidhin
Carra grew quiet, not really sure how to feel about her raising being such a secret as others have been celebrated. It touched the part of her that was lonely and she wasn't comfortable with feeling it. Sister and Brother-hood have been ground into them from the beginning. Belonging to something was what everyone strove for. Even her, in a strange way. No one to celebrate her Raising with her, and no one to announce it to the Grey Tower. Who would celebrate a slap in the face? She told every Ajah in the Grey Tower that they were not good enough for her.

"I think it is time for you to head out now." Carra stood, her old coldness returning, steeling herself away. The boy wasn't raised yet. "Be sure to stop by the Master of Soldiers on your way back." She shouldn't have to remind him why. He knew.

He knew too much already.

Sunny
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Re: Choices [Carra please!]

Post by Sunny » October 28th, 2014, 10:23 pm

Jaryd
Jaryd’s shoulders slumped as he watched the doors slam shut behind Carra’s pale eyes. He had had a chance- she had opened up, was talking to him, treating him almost like an equal! When would the people he respected take him seriously?

When you stop acting like a child, his mind spoke up, and he blinked. But I’m not, he objected silently, flexing his fingers on his knees. Who was he talking to, anyway? You are. He frowned slightly, and filed that odd inner conversation away for later consideration. Then he stood.

“As you wish, Carra Sedai,” he said. “I will be thinking about our conversation and its possibilities. I wish you the best in all your endeavors…if I can help, I am yours to command.” He bowed without a trace of his usual sarcasm and departed the room.
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False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
There's still a chance for me...and I'm still here singing.

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