How Dare you... [ATTN: Eve/Caddoc]

[Nani]

Athilin Mansarn

Athilin was infinitely glad that she was able to learn through theory, or at least remember what her theory was. She also made sure that her notes were extensive as she was being taught, including what channelling should feel like and each element and how it was supposed to feel and look like. She'd sketch out what the weaves were supposed to look like, and she was trying to learn what she could.

For the last two months she had been trying to channel with the assistance of various Aes Sedai who were trying everything that they could think of to break through her block. She was eternally grateful for Lianran Sedai figuring out what was wrong with her, but had been unable to figure out how to make the block break. She was meeting with the Aes Sedai for the day, whom she had seen quite a bit over the last two weeks. "Novice, today we're going to do something else. This isn't working, and I think I may have a solution."

Athilin tilted her head and followed the Aes Sedai out of the room they usually worked in alone and to an empty classroom except for a dedicated who was sitting behind the front desk reading. She kept her hands folded in front of herself, getting a little nervous about what was going to happen here. She swallowed hard, before she bowed to him.

"Dedicated Caddoc this is Novice Athilin, and she's experiencing a block. I think you might be the one to be able to help her break through." The Aes Sedai stood next to the desk to introduce them before she moved over to sit in the corner and keep a careful eye on what they were doing.

[Eve]

Caddoc was sitting behind the teacher’s desk, a book on ancient music in his hands. He slowly thumbed through it, occasionally humming a snatch of the tunes he read, but other than that, he was silent. He looked up when the Aes Sedai came in with the Novice. He rose from his seat but, as introductions were made, he turned his head to the Aes Sedai. “So you have already informed me, Lianran Sedai.” He said, his tone so blank it made him sound emotionless. He then turned his attention upon the Novice.

Caddoc Svan was a tall man, and slender. Dressed in Dedicated Blacks, with one pin ornamenting his collar, he watched the younger woman through a blank expression. His eyes, however, danced in his face as if reflecting something humous, something hilarious, or enraging… It was hard to tell, but while his face was still, his eyes never were. He was silent for a moment, watching the young woman before him, and then he gestured to a nearby chair. “As the Aes Sedai has told you, I am Dedicated Caddoc Svan, and you may address me by Dedicated, Dedicated Caddoc, or Caddoc Svan. Nothing else will be acceptable.” He took his own seat once again and continued his study, now placing his finger tips before his lips as he watched her.

“Tell me about yourself, Novice.” He finally said. “Where you come from. Why you are here. And what events led you to the Grey Tower.” He gestured for her to speak, and fell silent, expecting to be listened to.

[Nani]

Athilin Mansarn

Athilin was struck by how handsome he was... at least objectively. He didn't hold a candle to the man she had known before... if she could just remember what he looked like... it would make her life so much easier. She tried not to fidget under his scrutiny, and when he laid out the requirements of what she would be allowed to call him. "Yes Dedicated Caddoc." She sat down when gestured, sitting back into the chair with one of her legs crossed over the other and her skirts settled nicely against her legs. She folded her hands on her lap as she watched him continued to study her.

"I am from Ravina in Kandor. My parents run The White Tower Inn, and while I was an only child before I left their care a few years ago, there is a chance that I am no longer an only child. They taught me how to run an inn and I am to the point where I could do so without assistance outside of a couple barmaids and a cook. I am here to learn to control my abilities as a Channeler. However, I have problems properly accessing the One Power. It usually comes up when I've lost complete control... and that is dangerous, that much I know." She said softly, with a calm expression.

"I enjoyed going to the Plain of Lances to watch the Bordlerlanders practice their maneveurs against each other. It was endlessly fascinating... the strategy involved with all of it. Because of this, I took up playing chess and other strategy games." Her face took on a sad but happy reminiscent look on her face. He had always enjoyed playing them against her, and teaching them to her. Light how she missed him...

[Eve]

Caddoc steepled his fingers before his lips as he listened to her speak. His green eyes were fastened to her, dancing along with his thoughts as if they were hiding something his emotionless face did not portray. He nodded his head slowly throughout each sentence as she told her past. He had not come here with a block, but he knew that was unusual. He had heard that his sister, for instance, had needed assistance overcoming a block. He had not been here for it, but he had heard about it afterwards. He was quiet, not interrupting her, only letting her speak as she wanted.

When it seemed she had petered out, he lifted his head from his lips and gazed at her. “So you were interested in games.” He said, cocking his head a little to the side. “Were you very accomplished with them? Kandor is known for their ability and might, so I imagine it was not very hard for you to find skilled adversaries to play against…” He saw the bittersweet look on her face, and made a quiet note of it.

[Nani]

Athilin Mansarn

"I was told I was. It has been quite a bit of time since I was last played any. I would sometimes play against some of the Lieutenants and Captains. But there was... one person I always played against. He was the one who taught me most of them, taught me how to best his superiors." She smiled wistfully for a moment before she glanced up at Caddoc. "I would be more then happy to demonstrate if you would like." She smiled at him.

"I think my greatest victory was the day I first beat the man who taught me how to play. It took me months of practicing against him, and with a rather decisive series of moves I managed to best him. He was surprised at the finesse of the movements, I had been spending time recreating different games and had come up with some moves he hadn't taught me." She stopped looking at Caddoc and looked down at her hands, knowing that just thinking about him was enough to make her incredibly sad. She hoped that Caddoc wouldn't ask about him but she figured that wasn't going to be the case. This was to make sure sure that she could work through her block and that meant that he would be digging into her past.

She didn't know if she would be able to tell Caddoc his name.

[Eve]

Caddoc cocked his head to the side when she offered to play him. “I am not here for games today.” He stated seriously. “Though perhaps I will take you up on that offer, another time.” That was a surprising statement, but he did enjoy the came himself. He shook his head. “No.” He said. “I’m more interested in you than any games of strategy, and I find it quite peculiar that you speak of this mentor of yours without mentioning his name.”
He watched her through those dancing, wild green eyes that clashed so hard with his emotionless expression. Leaning back thoughtfully, he mused, “At first I thought that it was because it was someone I was unaware of, and manners led you not to mention a name that I would not care about, and would instantly forget. But you mentioned him several times in short succession, and in such an instance those fore mentioned manners would say to finally supply the moniker this man went by. So it must be another reason…” He sighed, and then shrugged. “It is my guess, then, that this random man was just that. Someone you met, knew for a time, and then threw away. Probably a one night stand or some other such meaningless carnal encounter. I can understand why you would not even bother to remember the name of someone like that…”

[Nani]

Athilin Mansarn

There was a moment of disappoint when he turned down her offer to play. But when he offered another time, her smile went wide. It was a good day when she got a chance to talk about strategy games. She listened to him talk, her hands gripped tight together as he spoke. She knew that what he said was wrong. Completely wrong. But... why could she not remember his name?

Her knuckles were white, and her body rigid. She swallowed hard to keep her voice pleasent, but her teeth were clenched. "He was not random. He was a soldier in the Kandorian army. But... I can not remember his name. Whenever I try I can remember things about him, but not his name." She swallowed hard again, trying to will herself to relax, but she also felt like she was a hair from breaking apart. "I don't know if I can recall if he is alive or not..." Athilin sighed softly, her body tense with irritation at how Caddoc spoke of him and a pervading sadness that she didn't quite understand.

"I wish that I could say with certainty that I knew why I can't remember his name, but I can't. Perhaps I didn't love him as much as I had thought...." The last sentence was murmered softly, almost more introspective to herself. Her eyes turned down her hands, lip quivering before she pressed them tight together. Crying over something she couldn't remember clearly wasn't appropriate here. She wasn't sure what Caddoc would be able to do to help her clear the block from her ability to channel.

Spoiler: show

Her soldier's name was Zean Krynear

[Eve]

Caddoc’s brow quirked up ever so slightly as the young woman in front of her began to ramble. He saw all the tell-tale signs of anger in her, the way she pressed her hands together, the white of her knuckles, the way her jaw clenched and her throat worked. Good. Get angry, he thought. Lose control and let that block snap. He lifted a hand, letting his fingers show the emotion that he did not. “You do not have to prove yourself to me, Novice.” He told her. “I am the last person here that will judge you for getting a little on the side.”

He forced a chuckle out of his throat, as if they were cohorts in taking sexual advantage of the opposite sex. “I, personally, cannot count how many pretty lads or lasses I have bounced upon my knee. It is tiresome remembering all of their names… Light, I rarely even bother to get them in the first place. In my company, you do not have to pretend this…random male was anything more than what he very apparently was, a pretty, perhaps, piece of meat to keep you warm on cold nights. That he could provide you with a little entertainment during the daylight hours is only a bonus…” There was laughter in his eyes, and while it did not touch his face, it still cavorted and danced before her gaze, making those green orbs flicker as if light from behind with fire.

[Nani]

Athilin Mensarn

Athilin's eyebrows pulled down into a frown that was quickly turning to a glare. She felt that sadness threatening to consume her, but the anger was holding it at bay, a dam that would burst with even just the slightest word. Her warm brown eyes were hard, and uninviting for the first time since she had arrived here. Her jaw clenched, and she inhaled slowly, before letting it go in short rush. "How dare you speak of him like you know him or me. If you truly believe yourself so callous then I wonder at any deciding to be with you even for a night in the first place." Athilin didn't relax her posture, but she did shift, slouching a little bit more, one arm against the desk near her and her head tilted against it.

But the way he spoke, the dersive view he had on his partners... that wasn't who she was. She loved, and loved deeply. She liked the bonds that came from being close to someone else, and loving them through thick and thin... and the way that he talked was making her feel like her anger was going to break her apart. "The only person's company I ever kept in that manner was his. He fought people for my honour, he was a brave man, a good man, and you are talking about him like he was some passing fling, some common thug." She sneered before she was on her feet, her anger being a driving force. She slammed her hands on the desk, leaning forward. "He was a better man then you could have ever hoped to be, a man of integrity, of passion."

Athilin's body was shaking, her face contorted with rage as she leaned forward even more. "He loved me, and I loved him. Z-z-z-zea...." She stuttered over his name, and curling her hands into fists, she felt tears drop down her nose, and slammed her hands on the desk. "Why can't I remember his damn name!? It's there, on the tip of my tongue, always there. But I can't ever say it. We were so in love with each other, and I can't even remember his name. And it's tearing me apart inside."

Spoiler: show

Her soldier's name was Zean Krynear

[Eve]

Caddoc was silent as her barrage of anger began to cause the words to flow from her. This was good, her anger was good. His only response as she ranted was his small expressions. The look in his dancing eyes, and the barely there tilt of brow or lips made him seem like he was amused. A lift of his brow made it look as if he didn’t believe her when she protested her monogamy, as if she was still trying to cover herself with a screen of moral propriety.

When she stood he tipped his head up to watch her, but did not move to protect himself, as far as she knew. He did reach out to seize the source, confident that his raw strength could over power her if she chose to strike him, but doing nothing else at the moment. He let her rant, let her anger and pain pull her problem to the surface, let it force itself against the block she had formed to protect herself. It was no physical thing, these blocks. They were mental and self imposed, and he believed they could not be gentle coaxed through. The barrier had to be blasted apart, once and for all. The wound had to be lanced, or healing could never begin. Lancing was painful, often dirty business, but it was necessary. So he watched her, he let her struggle, he let her rant always keeping his expression and eyes just so to keep her angry with him, his look mocking and as if he was laughing within.