A life she never expected (Attn:Bella)

[Adanys]

Mandira Cantlin

Mandi heaved a sigh as she sat down on the bench outside the Mistress of Novice's office. Half of what had just happened in there was a blur, the other half she couldn't comprehend. They'd been in there for what had felt like hours. Not that she'd expected otherwise, but they'd confirmed that she could indeed channel, albeit not very strongly. Strongly enough to make Aes Sedai though, after years and years of training.

As she sat there waiting for the Accepted that was to show her to her rooms, she let her eyes slide shut. The Aes Sedai had also told her that she had what they called a block. This meant they'd need to figure out how to break it down so she would be able to access the One Power freely. Her heart sank a little at this, the thought of having others probe into her mind was not something she was looking forward to.

She knew now that her having a block meant she'd already channeled at some point in her life, maybe even more than once. Just like the Asha'man had told her. From there her mind went to how he had found her, helping an injured man. With that information, the Aes Sedai had speculated that her block would likely have something to do with that, with helping people. She'd admitted that she'd been good at fixing people with very severe injuries, sometimes even when those injuries shouldn't have been fixable.

From there her mind inevitably slid to that fateful, horrible night. The night she must have channeled for the first time. She thought she'd been sick with grief and shock after that night, but maybe it had been more. It had carried on for weeks. Behind her closed eyelids, she saw the road, the wagon..her parents. Her father's head was in her lap, her hands - covered in blood - were cradling him. She could hear herself sobbing amid the crashing thunder, begging him not to die, begging him to stay with her!

She gasped and her eyes flew open. She sat up and wiped the tear that had slid down her face, trying to compose herself and slow her breathing.

[Bella]

One of the tasks assigned to an Accepted, rotating throughout all those within the Tower who wore the banded dress, was to spend a chore period being the assistant and runner for the Mistress of Novices. It was, quite honestly, one of the tasks that Isla Arkema liked the least.

It wasn't that it was a difficult job, because it really wasn't.

It was that the Mistress of Novices scared the ever-loving daylights out of Isla. She'd heard the rumors, and somehow did not doubt that most--if not all--were true. The woman had died! And come back! She was among one of the Grey Tower's strongest channelers and certainly one of the oldest, and could blow people up...into pieces!

Of course, it didn't help that Miahala Sedai had been the channeler Isla and her unit had fought against where Isla had channeled and been found out by her 'brothers.' It bred an odd mix of resentment, sorrow, fear, and repentant guilt in the girl that she struggled to understand and deal with.

Today was her turn to aid Miahala Sedai, and she did it as meekly and with as little notice given to her as possible.

"Isla," Mia said, her voice even but not cold. It just made it worse that the woman seemed...nice to Isla. The Accepted really just didn't know how to handle that. "Would you please escort that new Novice to her rooms and perhaps show her around a bit?"

"Of course, Mistress," Isla said quickly, all but leaping to her feet, bobbing a fast curtsy, and fleeing the room.

Once in the hall, she found the young woman sitting on the bench there. "Novice Mandira?" she asked politely. "I'm Accepted Isla. I'm to show you to your room and around the Tower."

[Adanys]

Mandira

Mandi looked up when the woman spoke. "Hi. Yes, I'm Mandira." She rose to her feet and bobbed a simple curtsey. Isla wasn't Aes Sedai, but she figured better safe than sorry. "It's nice to meet you, Accepted Isla."

She fell into step beside the woman, their heels clicking on the stone floor. Mandi found herself enraptured by the sound. The way the sharp clicks echoed off the walls. She again had to remind herself that she was going to live here now, in this grand place. She was sure the novelty would wear off eventually, but she'd enjoy it while it lasted.

The Accepted was slightly taller than herself, so she picked up her pace to match the other woman's."Showing me around the Tower? Which places will I have access to as a Novice?" Mandi found herself asking curiously. She bit her lip and hoped she wasn't coming off as too forward. But she figured she might as well know where she could go and where not.

Spoiler: show

OOC: Sorry it's so short. Hopefully she'll open up soon.

[Bella]

"Not much," Isla admitted with a rueful smile that she sent sidelong to the girl as the pair of them walked. "You'll find that most of those places are where you'll be doing chores." This wasn't the first time that she'd been assigned as escort to a Novice, but there was still an element of awkwardness that Isla felt and worked hard to hide.

She thought for a moment. "I don't know where you were before coming here," she said, her tone offering that she wasn't going to ask either--when she'd come to the Tower, she needed privacy from her past. She would always give it. "But here, the Learning Ranks do much by way of both chores and studies. That is, in truth, what your initial years will consist of."

It had been a change of pace for her in some ways when she'd arrived, although not in others. She had been used to working hard, just at other things.

"The first place I'm going to show you is to your new room," she explained as they turned a corner and began walking up one of the Tower's many, many, many flights of stairs. "You will have one roommate. That person may change if they are raised or leave the Tower for some reason, but never more than one other will share your room.

"If you are raised to Accepted, you'll have your own space. In the meantime, you'll share." Of course, Isla's experience with a roommate had proven one of the most positive of her life, even if it didn't seem that way at the time.

[Adanys]

Mandira

She'd never been a lazy girl by any means, but Mandi had a feeling these years at the Grey Tower would teach her a whole new meaning to chores and manual labor. She couldn't help but grimace slightly. A part of her still refused to believe she could channel, but the other part also knew that all these Aes Sedai wouldn't lie to her about something like this. They might have a reputation for being manipulative, but this went even beyond that.

She nodded when Isla told her she'd be sharing a room. Not something she was used to, having had her own at her aunt and uncle's place, but she'd manage. She appreciated that the other woman didn't ask to hear her life story prior to coming here. But she decided to share something anyway, if just to break the ice a little.

"I was a local healer's, or doctor's, apprentice for 6 months. It seems I have a knack for that sort of thing. And that's how the Grey Tower found me. I'd just helped a man who'd severely cut his leg, and the Asha'man said he'd felt me channeling while I did so." And now here she was, preparing to start her life in a new place, with new people, new rules.


She pursed her lips. The studies, the chores, the strict rules...it seemed to be designed to break people down and raise them up anew, and to discourage any kind of rebellious attitude. "Am I older than most novices? I'm 22." The question sounded silly even to her own ears, but if all the other novices were 16 or so, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to connect with any of them. And spending years in this place with no one her own age at her rank would get lonely fast. She wasn't eager for a return of the solitary existence she'd been living in these past 2 years.

[Bella]

Even though many came into the Grey Tower choosing to not share anything of their past, like Isla, there were just as many who came in and did share. Although there wasn't a lot in the Novice's story, it was still more than Isla had generally shared. Although she had told people she was a soldier, that was often where it stopped.

Isla thought through everything Mandira had said and addressed them in what she thought was order of priority.

"Well, I'll be honest with you and say that you will be a few years older than many of the Novices," Isla admitted, "but certainly not all of them. Sometimes women come in who reached their thirties before being brought here, and I've heard rumors that there've been Novices who were even older. They will try to room you with someone close to your age, if they can."

She chose not to mention that she was close to Mandira's age, and now an Accepted after already having been here training for years. It just seemed like a detail that didn't need sharing.

At that point, she chose to address the bit of personal history that had been shared. "I'm aspiring to the Yellow Ajah myself," she said with a small smile. "That's the Ajah dedicated to healing, both with the One Power and without. I imagine you may have heard about them already, given your experience."

[Adanys]

Mandira

Mandi nodded when Isla confirmed what she'd guessed about the age of the other Novices. She didn't anticipate it being a problem, she just found it nice to know. She turned her head when Isla mentioned the Yellow Ajah. "Yeah, that's the only Ajah they actually explained in detail. They didn't come out and say it, but I'm sure they believe it's a given that I'll end up there." She shrugged. "At this point, I'm neither inclined to agree or argue, but I'll keep it in mind, them being so decided on it. Must have some significance."

They'd arrived at the dorms, and Mandi made quick work of surveying the small room and dumped her things on what appeared to be the unclaimed bed. She turned and said she'd take a better look later and asked if they could visit the gardens and library. "I'm not sure if Novices are allowed there, but if we are, I know I'd love to see both." She'd been in a few libraries, but they'd been personal collections. She was eager to see the Tower's.

Once they were in the halls again, Mandi eyed Isla with a sideways glance. She guessed they were close in age, and it suddenly struck her how long it had been since she'd spent any time with a woman her own age. Other than talking of what was before her right now, she didn't know what to say. She chose to question her about the Yellow Ajah. "You say healing with the Power, is there a lot of that? I mean, can't the One Power just....fix things?"

[Bella]

Isla waited just inside the door frame while Mandira had a moment to take in the environs of her new space, although she didn't linger for long. After all, who could be comfortable doing so with someone standing and waiting for you? Then again, Isla had known a few who didn't seem to care...but they tended to be inconsiderate types.

"Yes, we can see the gardens and library," she said with a small smile. "Everyone is welcome in both, although you may only visit the gardens on your free time, unless you are brought or sent by a higher ranked person. The library is the same if it's for your own task, but you'll be sent there often enough as well."

They walked for a little while before the Novices asked a question that Isla was pleased to answer. It was interesting to know that she might be walking alongside a fellow Aspirant to the Yellow, but she also knew that life had a way or taking sharp turns on you.

"The One Power can fix many things," Isla agreed, "but there is more to it than that, as I came to learn after I arrived here. How much can be Healed by channeling is affected by the Healer themselves, their skill with the weaves and sometimes their strength in the Power. You don't have to be strong to be skilled, as I understand, but your strength affects your stamina.

"Channeling of any type requires a good deal of energy on the part of the channeler, so even the Yellow doesn't want to use the One Power to cure and Heal everything and anything. And there are some things that can't be Healed."

[Adanys]

Mandira

Mandi walked alongside Isla, listening as much as taking in her surroundings. Her entire village could fit inside this place with room to spare. The majestic stonework, the intricate tapestries, her fingers longed to touch it all. She returned her attention to Isla as she talked about Healing and the Yellow Ajah. She noted that she spoke more energetically than she had until now.

All thoughts of strength, stamina, and channeling flew from her head at the Accepted's final statement. And there are some things that can't be Healed. She stumbled to a halt, the words bouncing around in her head. After her conversation with the Aes Sedai, she'd managed to figure out when she'd first channeled: the night her parents had died. She'd tried to save her father. And she'd channeled later in life too, helping others who were sick and dying. Not at all had made it.

During the entire session with the Aes Sedai she'd managed to keep her eyes dry, she'd not broken down once. But with these words she felt the dam breaking. All the people she'd tried to help, even without using the One Power, that had died anyway...watching their life - her father's life - slip through her fingers, it all came rushing back to her now.

Isla's words should have consoled her, some things just couldn't be Healed. But what if she had been able to help those that had died? What if her parents could have been saved if she'd only known how to channel? A strangled sob escaped her and she covered her mouth, trying desperately to hold back the flow of tears. "Oh Light! What if I'd been able to save them? If I'd only known how!" the words rushed out of her before she could stop them, and with them, the dam collapsed.

And so did Mandi.

[Bella]

I didn't see that one coming.

The Novice was still conscious, but she was crying and suddenly on her knees. Isla blinked for a moment, her shock overtaking her with the lack of a medical emergency to the moment. It would have been easier for her to process and react if the girl had fainted, but as it was, she had to figure out what to do.

What Mandira had said before all of the emotion overtook her painted something of a picture, but Isla didn't necessarily know what to do with it. She swallowed hard and moved to kneel beside the other woman.

"Novice Mandira," she said softly. "I'm sorry for your loss." She didn't know who "them" was, but it was clearly someone that the Novice had felt very strongly for and was traumatized by their loss. Being able to piece at least that much together, it seemed the best response she could offer.