A Shadowed Future (fic)

[Adanys]

Avalan As she jogged around the Yards, Avalan felt her mind clear. When she was running, there was nothing but her feet slapping the ground, her climbing heart rate, and the burning in her limbs and lungs. She started her final lap, waving to Nevala. Nevala was a quiet Ji'val, dedicated to her training, and they'd become friends in the last few weeks. She was a great sparring partner, and sometimes they'd do nothing more than sit somewhere in companionable silence if they had some free time. Talking was all well and good, but if you could spend time with someone in complete silence and still consider it a good time, then you'd found a true friend.

Lungs burning, she slowed to a walk as she finished her last lap. The sun had gone down an hour ago, and the air was cool. She breathed deeply as she made her way to the Warder Halls. With her heightened sense of smell, she'd only grown to love the outdoors more. Not only was it much more free of people, the smells of nature - grass, trees, flowers, water - were stronger and all the more soothing to her.

She opened the door to her room and stepped inside, seeing Tara was already there. She gave a barely perceptible nod; she and Tara did not get along. The other girl was a stern faced prune in the making, always harping at Avalan for not doing this right, or being improper in this manner. If anyone had ever been an odd fit for the life of a Gaidin, it was Tara. She couldn't wait to be raised to Ji'val simply so she could away from the other woman.

She was surprised to see a letter addressed to her laying on her bed. Picking it up, she saw it was from her mother. Her mouth tightened, she hadn't written home since she'd spoken to Ranus a week ago. Anger still boiled inside her at the thought of her parents. Sighing, she sat down and tore the envelope open, dragging out the letter.


My dear girl,
How is life in the Grey Tower treating you? We all miss you. Maddick has taken to running around with a stick, whacking anything and anyone within range, because he wants to be a Warder like his big sister. (Avalan felt her eyes sting at the mention of her brothers. Light, but she missed them!) Jeryn is 16 now, and has taken up with a woodworker in the city. He has a real knack for it, and wants to become an apprentice. He dreams of opening his own shop in a few years. Very ambitious, your brother is. Tobias is still as studious as he ever was, reading anything you put in front of him. Jeryn is building him a bookshelf.

Life on this estate is wonderful, and it's wonderful having your father home more. And your brothers have so many more opportunities here. But I still miss the farm sometimes. The quiet life we had there. Although, I have a very large garden here, so that helps when I miss it too much. I might start growing flowers to sell. Not that we need the money, I just need something to do.

Darling, I wish I could tell you I'd written only because we missed you. I'm afraid I have some terrible news. There's no way to break this to you slowly or delicately. Your cousin Paxton has ran away from home. He was discovered to be a Darkfriend. (Avalan felt the color drain from her face. Pax? A Darkfriend?!) I don't know how long this has been going on, who he's working for, or where he's gone. His family is devastated. I know you and he were close, so I felt you needed to know. I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything more.

Much love
(here she'd signed her name in an illegible, but beautifully flowing manner)

After she finished, Avalan simply sat there, staring at it. Pax was a Darkfriend? How long? Had he already been one the last time they'd spent time together? Or was this more recent? And what in the bloody Light was the Shadow doing in the little, inconsequential village of Ionin Spring? She ran a hand across her face. Oh Pax, what have you done? Where did you go? Pax had been her companion growing up, they'd hunted together, explored together, grown up together. How could she never have known he was capable of this?

She abruptly stood to her feet and walked to the door. She left the room to the sound of Tara saying something about it being after curfew and she hoped Avalan would get punished like she deserved. Avalan didn't go far, just outside the door of the Halls, she just needed to be alone while she processed this.

She'd never given the Shadow much thought. Certainly she'd heard of it, and what people sworn to the Shadow were capable of. But she'd never known anyone who was Shadowsworn, and while she wasn't perfect, she strived to live in the Light. Now, the Shadow had Pax. The Shadow, which before this had just been some distant monster that she'd never concerned herself with. How naive she'd been to think she'd be safe from it forever, that she could live her life not paying any attention to it.

She didn't know why Pax had chosen that life, but she knew she felt a cold rage boil within her. Rage at the Shadow, at whoever had dragged him over the other side, at anyone who could choose a life of evil and chaos and try to drag the rest of the world into the pit along with them. Suddenly, becoming a Warder didn't seem so all important. Suddenly, she wasn't so worried about being a source of strength to a channeler. Innocent people needed her much more. She would become a Gaidin, but not solely to become an Aes Sedai's Warder. No. She would fight for the Light, and protect the innocent from the Shadow.

Her resolve melted a little when she realized she had no idea how to go about this new plan, no idea where to even start. But only a little. With the fire still kindling inside her, small but steady, she turned and went back to her room.