Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

The everyday life of the inhabitants of the Grey Tower. This board is for general daily roleplay around the Tower, in the corridors, rooms and halls that make up most of the building.
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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » June 27th, 2018, 1:45 am

Paks
Blood drained from Paks’ face and all she could hear when the Yellow Sister stopped speaking was her own heart pounding in her ears. She’d been responsible?

Paks furrowed her brows, not daring to look away from Zarayne. Anger started to bubble in her veins and she clenched her fists. The woman took an interest in Paks because she’d played a roll in Jesi’s death.

‘No. . .she didn’t. She wasn’t the only one there that day. Mia’bloody’hala Sedai was there, and you know the reputation she has? She couldn’t stop the Darkfriend before she acted,’ Jesi appeared next to the Yellow.

‘You heard what she said!’

‘I heard what she said, but I also see the guilt she carries. . .guilt she shouldn’t carry. It was not her fault, and you should tell her as much.’

‘She just said it was her fault.’

Jesi tilted her head and arched a brow, ‘Really? You want someone to blame. Someone who’s close at hand given Ninya escaped, and she’s presented herself as a prime target.’

‘You heard her.’

‘Stubborn woman. We’ll talk when you cool down,’ Jesi answered, nearly rolling her eyes before she disappeared.


When Paks finally spoke, her tone was tight, and soft. . .just above a whisper, “I think I’d like to return to my room.” She looked to her feet, “I. . .I need some time.”
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Craig
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » July 9th, 2018, 12:42 pm

Zarayne
Zarayne watched with her heart in her throat. Expectations for what was to come did not exist, but anticipation tore away at her composure. She felt a shame that was commensurate with her time as a gai'shain. If they had both been Aiel, that would have been Zarayne's go-to solution at this very moment, but this situation had no easy fix. Her failure to intervene in Jesi's death would not be forgiven or forgotten about after a year and a day.

"I think I'd like to return to my room." Trepidation remained as Paks spoke. "I... I need some time."

Zarayne nodded readily before voicing her assent. "Of course."

They had to return the way they had just come from. Zarayne moved to the side of the path, uncertain whether to remain behind or to return with Paks to the infirmary. Following Paks was the correct thing to do with regards to ensuring her safety, but it may exacerbate the damage to Paks' already torn-up soul. The Ji'val now had something physical to direct her suffering towards.

Ultimately Zarayne chose to follow at a distance, to make sure that Paks did return to the Infirmary.
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » July 14th, 2018, 12:03 am

Paks
A war raged within the Ji’val as she headed back to her room in the infirmary. On one side was the vision of Jesi trying to talk some rational sense into the woman, and on the other? Paks and her need for an outlet for the mix of emotions that had raged within her since that fateful day. She clenched and unclenched her fists as she walked.

‘You are being so blasted stubborn, you realize that, yes?’

‘I thought you said we’d talk when I cooled down.’

Giving her a flat look, Jesi shook her head, ‘Yeah. . .except I’m not sure you WILL cool down and that woman back there has been trying to help you. She’s one of the only Yellows who’s done more than give you a pitying look. She deserves a second chance.’

‘You don’t get it,’ Paks replied.

‘No. . .I get it. You need a conduit for the rage you feel, and she’s raised her hand to say she is the reason for. . .you know. She’s not the one who hurled bolts of lightning and fireballs at unsuspecting learning ranks. That’s who you’re angry at. . .that’s who you need to direct your anger towards, darlin’.

‘That Yellow back there? She deserves a medal for putting up with you. Ya gotta get that chip off of your shoulder, hon. She’s not who you’re mad at even though you might think otherwise. Cut her some slack.’ Jesi finished and disappeared again.


Paks knew Zarayne was following her. She stopped just down the hall from the entrance to the infirmary and turned to look at the Aes Sedai. ‘I uh. . .I don’t. . .it’s. . .heh.” she let go a frustrated sigh. She took a shaky breath, “You’re not the one who. . .who killed Jesi. You weren’t the only Aes Sedai or Asha’man who watched that Darkfriend hurl fireballs and lightning at an Accepted.

“Right now. . .right now I want to blame you, but you’re not the one responsible. It’s. . .I need time to. . .I just need time to let that pass,” she said, looking away as she rubbed the back of her neck.
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Craig
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » July 23rd, 2018, 9:25 am

Zarayne
When Paks addressed her, Zarayne wasn't sure what to expect. Being told that she wasn't responsible for a tragedy she clearly had been responsible for oddly rankled. Zarayne wasn't sure where on the hierarchy of shame being told you didn't have toh fell. Somewhere near being told you did have toh surely, and that was well up there. So how do I respond? By refuting the truth and dismissing Paks' viewpoint as misinformed? That seemed in-line with telling Paks had toh and...

Zarayne grimaced. Whatever soul searching or self-flagellation was to come, the present moment demanded that she focused on Paks' needs.

"You'll have as much time as you need," Zarayne said with an inclination of her head. "I'll leave it to you to decide when I should next visit, if at all."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » July 27th, 2018, 5:13 pm

Paks
‘You should have done this sooner, you do know that, yes?’ Jesi asked.

Paks gave a flat look, ‘I’m doing the best I can.’

‘Do you have any idea what you’ve put the Aes Sedai through? The guilt she bears. . .you know Ariel see things like that differently, don’t you?’


“Mother’s milk in a cup,” Paks cursed herself as she left her room in the back of the infirmary. She’d seen Zarayne wandering around earlier in the day, and felt a bit of her own guilt for not reconnecting sooner. She’d been somewhat distracted with her time spent in the stables working with Derren and learning about horses.

Jesi appeared in front of her and smirked, ‘It’s Derren, now is it?’

‘Shut up.’

‘Shut up, is it? Sensitive much?’


Paks cleared her throat as she approached the Yellow Sister, “Zarayne Sedai? I, uh. . . Do you have time for a walk today?”
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » August 30th, 2018, 9:33 am

Zarayne
Zarayne had, for the most part, placed her last conversation with Paks outside of her thoughts. It wasn't a denial of what had been given voice, but fretting over whose viewpoint was the most valid brought on its own bout of anxieties. It also occurred to the Aiel that it didn't matter who was right because Jesinne Molari was still dead.

Thus when Paks approached her and made her presence known, Zarayne was surprised. That submersed font of anxiety bubbled up again. She turned to face Paks, offering only a lukewarm smile, uncertainty cutting through any attempt at Aes Sedai serenity. If her green eyes seemed a little wide, that was only to be expected.

"A walk? Of course." She couldn't very well refuse, and Aiel did not turn and run from a fight. That's what she told herself at least.
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » September 8th, 2018, 2:35 pm

Paks
The Ji’val waited until the pair were outside and away from prying ears and eyes. As the two approached the Gardens once more, Paks looked to the Yellow Aes Sedai, “I. . .uh. . .I am sorry about how our last meeting ended.”

The woman let go a long sigh, “My anger last time was misplaced. You are not the one who killed Jesi. I. . .I do not understand the ways of the Aiel, and don’t want to disrespect you and your sense of honor.

“I think I wasn’t entirely fair when we last parted ways, and for that, I owe you an apology. I don’t think you realize how much you helped me. . .without you, I might still be penned up in the room in the infirmary.

“Not only am I getting back to my normal training schedule, I’ve been working with horses thanks to an Asha’man who took me under his wing, and. . .and they’re letting me move back to the Warder Hall,” she explained. “Not only do I owe you an apology, but I am in your debt, Aes Sedai.”
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Craig
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » October 22nd, 2018, 10:00 pm

Zarayne
Zarayne listened. An individual with more years under her belt may have been able to absorb and reflect what had been said in as much time as it took to immediately respond, but not Zarayne. Nor would she make the pretence that she didn't need to answer, hiding behind the tricksome mask that was an Aes Sedai face.

Was Paks in Zarayne's debt? Was Zarayne in Paks? The Yellow fretted more with the fear of perturbing Paks' sense of toh than with her own, and she was well aware that only one of them had come from beyond the Dragonwall.

The slow rise and fall of the lump in her throat indicated that Zarayne was trying to choose her words carefully. "Let there be no debt between us, Paks. Let us move forward and not back."

She licked her lips before adding more. "I'm glad you are returning to the Warder Hall, and that you've found something new to pursue." She reached out with an open palm to hold a tulip's head in her hand. Words and thoughts flittered through her head, but none that formed a coherent sentence.

Zarayne returned her attention to Paks. "Well, horses." She wrinkled her nose, and her lips curved upwards. "If you can't run as fast as an Aiel, it's wise to choose the next best thing."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » October 27th, 2018, 2:42 pm

Paks
Paks laughed softly, “I haven’t progressed quite so far as to ride the beasts yet. We’ve been taking it slow, and mostly just letting me get used to their size and temperament.” She shook her head, “I don’t know how long it will take for me to get to a point where I might be comfortable actually getting on a horse.”

She smirked slightly, though not quite her characteristic smirk she was once known for, “Though I know I can’t come close to running as an Aiel might.” She looked to the flower Zarayne gently held in her grasp before looking out across the grounds once more, “But working with the beasts has done me a world of good. I don’t think I’d be where I am now had it not been for your help.

“I don’t know how often your patients show their gratitude, and I am not entirely sure I could ever fully repay you, but you helped me turn a corner. I don’t think would be where I am now if it weren’t for you,” she continued. Tilting her head, her smirk turned into a warm smile, “I am grateful you had the patience to work with me, especially when I wasn’t exactly the most willing patient.”
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » October 29th, 2018, 9:14 pm

Zarayne
"There is no debt," Zarayne repeated with a smile. "You do not owe me anything. I am a Sister of the Yellow Ajah; the fact that I've been able to help you is payment enough."

"As for patience, you will have to learn to be patient yourself." Her smile turned to a knowing grin. "I know enough about horses to say that the best require breaking. You will need patience and perseverance if you wish to have an animal worthy enough to bear you."

She looked at the flower cupped in her hand. "Or we can get you measured for a cadin'sor? Train you to run like the Aiel?" That suggestion would send most women running - the notion of bearing even an ankle in public would have knocked an Cairhienin woman flat on her back. Of course, Paks wasn't Cairhienin and had definitely born more than an ankle in public if the rumours were reliable.

Zarayne turned her attention back to Paks. "But more to the point, I am glad you are as you are today. Laughing and smiling. I feel a sense of ji - honour - that you have been able to make it here."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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