Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

The everyday life of the inhabitants of the Grey Tower. This board is for general daily roleplay around the Tower, in the corridors, rooms and halls that make up most of the building.
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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » May 28th, 2018, 4:32 pm

Paks
Paks had been standing at the window when the Yellow Sister came for her daily visit. She hadn’t expected Zarayne to suggest they go for a walk outside of the Infirmary, and it was a pleasant surprise. She looked back out the window for a moment before looking back to the Aes Sedai with a small but warm smile, “I would like that. . .perhaps the Gardens.”

Jesi appeared to the left of the doorway, arms folded across her chest, ‘You must be making progress if she thinks you can venture from the infirmary.’

‘I do this for you, love.’

Jesi had a smirk that could challenge the best of Paks’s, ‘Do it for me if you must, but I’d rather do it for you.’


The Ji’val looked from where she’d ‘seen’ Jesi to Zarayne, nodding slowly, “The Gardens. I miss the trees and hearing the breeze move through their leaves.” Truth be told, the four walls of her room in the infirmary were starting to drive her mad. No one had been willing to let her venture much further than the main infirmary floor, though, fearing she might do something to harm herself. Their concern for her felt overbearing, but there was little she could do about it other than deal with it.

Over the course of the days she’d been in the infirmary, Zarayne showed her a level of patience she wasn’t entirely sure she deserved. The Yellow Sister also never once suggested she should forget Jesi and move on, and for that, the Ji’val would be eternally grateful.
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Craig
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » May 31st, 2018, 4:08 pm

Zarayne
Zarayne simply nodded in agreement. The Gardens are safe. A depressing thought, but Paks was a Warder with a broken bond after all. Caution was mandatory, but keeping Paks cooped up would never help to recover. No doubt a Grey had a lecture on the topics of living versus being alive, but Zarayne didn't need to hear the arguments. Once Paks joined her at the doorway, she let the Ji'val lead the way.

Paranoia slowly crept into the Yellow's mind even as they started to walk through the Infirmary. Near the door, some of the people waiting for treatments were Warder Yard trainees. Some were armed. If she wanted to, how quickly could Paks grab one of those weapons and do injury to herself? Thankfully they left the Infirmary without incident, but next came the stairs. Even in her own head, Zarayne thought her concern was overblown, but nervousness still prickled the back of her neck. If she falls at the wrong angle... It was just paranoia and nervousness and...

...they were outside. The sky was bright blue, spotted with a few white clouds. There was a slight breeze, but the air was still warm. Her dress appeared white in the sunlight, although it was just a pale yellow.

Zarayne detached her tongue from the roof of her mouth. "Did you get much sleep last night?" She was considering, if Paks' nights continued to be disturbed, Dreamwalking into them. It was a dangerous proposition, but still, a worthy consideration if it would lead to some good.
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » May 31st, 2018, 4:54 pm

Paks
The Ji’val was all too aware of how many people were in the infirmary when she walked out, and all too aware of the number of people watching her as she walked through, heading for the exit. Some of them were familiar faces, but she didn’t spare any of them a second glance. The urge to run was strong, but she fought it and continued at a steady pace through the infirmary, down the stairs and out into fresh air. Her heart was racing, and she didn’t entirely understand why.

‘Because you don’t like the idea of people seeing you like this. . .at what you think is your weakest,’ Jesi said as she walked alongside her. ‘You do know none of this makes you weak, don’t you?’

Paks looked to her lover, ‘No.’

‘You should. By the way, the pretty redhead just asked you a question.’


Paks turned to look at Zarayne as part of her recalled the question and shook her head, “No more than I’ve been getting.” She spoke softly as the pair walked along a path, “It’s hard to fall asleep, and then. . .well, the nightmares.” She had no desire to keep living that day over and over again, but it seemed her subconscious would not let it go.
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » June 4th, 2018, 8:41 pm

Zarayne
Zarayne nodded as she took a little time to muse over her own proposition. There were other things to try before resorting to that.

"I had recurring nightmares when I was younger. As I started to understand about channelling, I thought I would demonstrate my fledgling ability to a few of my friends. I created a fire that engulfed a friend's house."

Zarayne slowed to a halt. She started to roll up one of her sleeves until it was halfway up her forearm. Her pale, freckled skin gave way to pinkish burn tissue just below the elbow.

"I was caught in the fire. It plagued my dreams for months. I still dream of the fire from time to time, or of things that remind me of it." She rolled the sleeve down. "It was always tempting to avoid sleep so I would escape from the nightmares, but the body needs rest. I found having a routine helped me. For one, it tired out my body, forcing me to sleep. It also gave me other things to think about. Eventually those other things entered into my dreams at night, alongside the nightmares."

She didn't draw any comparisons between herself and Paks. Her way wasn't to force the issue.

Zarayne started to walk again. "For now, enjoy the gardens."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » June 17th, 2018, 1:49 am

Paks
Paks listened to the Yellow Sister as the pair walked the Gardens. She wasn’t used to Aes Sedai revealing so much of themselves, though, in truth, she hadn’t interacted with that many full fledged Aes Sedai. She turned to look at the scars Zarayne revealed, and the story that went with them.

The woman spoke of finding routine to help her get to sleep. The Ji’val’s routine had been thoroughly disrupted since the day her bond with Jesi was broken. She’d not been allowed to leave the infirmary, which meant no exercise, and nothing to take her mind off of that day and how she lost Jesi.

Paks realized she was squinting as the pair walked through the Gardens, as the sunlight seemed brighter than normal. Oh, but the warmth of the sun on her face, mixed with the breeze felt glorious. She didn’t realize how much she missed being outdoors. Letting go a soft sigh, she looked to Zarayne, “I can see how a routine would help, but I’ve not been allowed out of the infirmary. I think everyone is too scared to let me back in the Yards. . .or even out of the infirmary.

“A routine of staring out the window doesn’t do much to wear me out,” she added. “Do you think. . .is there a chance I could be allowed to return to the Yards during the day? At least to train in unarmed and exercise?”
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » June 18th, 2018, 11:29 am

Zarayne
Zarayne nodded. She'd already prepared for this, as securing 'a walk in the Gardens' was not the extent of her plans. Some of her peers thought she was moving too swiftly, but she had laid out her reasons before the First Weaver, and he'd accepted. She had also spoken with her father about what the daily schedule for a Ji'val was in the Warder Yards to understand the risks involved. Paks was her responsibility in more ways than one.

"I have a tentative schedule mapped out for you that I need to place before the Mistress of Training. It includes most classes and chores, and lunch and dinner with the other learning ranks. Exercise is allowed, but I feel it's better to hold off on combat or weapons training for now." Zarayne had never heard of a death due to bare-knuckle fighting before, but she didn't wish to preside over the first. "You still need to spend nights in the Infirmary. There is limited flexibility when it comes to that."

It was still a large concession, but chores would busy her body, and classes would busy her mind. Shared meals to reintegrate her with her peers, although Zarayne planned to find a way to observe Paks without being seen. How her peers reacted would effect Paks' recovery.

"If there's somewhere particular you wish to go outside of that, I can consider it."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » June 19th, 2018, 1:16 am

Paks
The Ji’val listened as Zarayne discussed the plan she wanted to put in place for Paks. More classes and chores, but no combat training. She knew well enough that if the schedule was full enough, sleep might come more easily, and if she proved herself, they’d eventually let her start combat training again. They’d have to, right? Otherwise, how could she continue on her path?

‘I’m glad you still want to continue your training, my heart. That is promising,’ Jesi’s image appeared beside her once more.

‘It is what I’m here for, isn’t it?’

Jesi smirked, ‘You do realize you didn’t come here voluntarily, right?’

‘And if I leave, I have a cell waiting for me,’ Paks countered.

‘Well, you think you do. There’s no way to know if the magistrate even remembers, ya know? Now. . .stop paying attention to me and answer the woman.


Paks nodded slowly, “In other words, I get to do the least interesting aspects of training?” She allowed a small smile, “No, I understand. It. . .it’s a place to start, I suppose.” As the pair continued their walk, she asked, “When do you think I’d be able to begin on your revised schedule?”
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » June 21st, 2018, 6:15 pm

Zarayne
Zarayne spread her hands. "That depends on how my conversation with Riahana Gaidin goes." A non-answer if ever there was one, Zarayne. Tomorrow was her personal preference, but she had no inkling on how the Mistress of Training would react to her suggestion. Hope was a two-edged blade, and Zarayne had no inclination to add to Paks' suffering. Short-term gains weren't worth considering when so much was at stake.

"It is a place to start," Zarayne reaffirmed. "There is no point for either of us pretending that things can return to the way they were, so a gradual approach is what I'm suggesting. Many of my peers would opt for an overcautious route." The Yellow inwardly frowned at the callous indifference those peers were demonstrating. How Paks was meant to return to a semblance of a normal life whilst being imprisoned in the Infirmary was beyond Zarayne's scope to imagine. A caged bird was never going to learn how to fly.

"I care, so I hope you can provide me with a small amount of patience. And even if you don't--" Zarayne smiled "--I have no intention of going anywhere."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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Roan
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Roan » June 23rd, 2018, 11:33 pm

Paks
Paks allowed a small smile of her own, “Thank you, Zarayne Sedai. I. . .well I suppose I have no choice but to be patient. You’ve given me a glimmer of hope that I might not need to spend the bulk of my days within the four walls of my private room in the infirmary.” Running a hand through her hair, she looked out over the Garden grounds, “And if all you can do is get me out from those four walls for our appointments, I would be grateful.

“I don’t think many of your counterparts understand what stir-crazy means. Sitting in that room, all I can do is think, and thinking too much sends my imagination in circles about that day. . .about that moment,” Paks started to open up. She felt a knot at the back of her throat and swallowed hard to force it back down.

Moving towards a bench overlooking the lake, Paks sat down, “Can I ask? Why me? Why did you take interest in helping me? Your approach is very different to that of your peers. There are a couple who check in to make sure I am ok physically, but most of them. . .most of them seem to give my room a wide berth and look at me as if I am a lost cause.”
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Re: Broken in Heart, Mind, Soul and Spirit [Attn: Craig]

Post by Craig » June 26th, 2018, 12:21 pm

Zarayne
Zarayne looked pensive as her mind flashed back to the day when Ninya had revealed her true loyalties. Anyone could have thwarted Ninya, but the fact that she had not allowed vile acts to happen. Zarayne didn't carry all of the blame for Jesi's death nor Ninya's escape on her shoulders, but she did have toh. No-one else cared for it, and her own understanding of ji'e'toh was skewed, but it was important to her.

The Aes Sedai started by addressing the last point. "You are not a lost cause, Paks, so don't think that. Some Yellows rely solely on Healing to aid people, but I never joined the Yellow Ajah because of a Talent with Healing."

Zarayne's lips shifted uncomfortably as she deliberated on her words. The Three Oaths, ji'e'toh, and the whole situation with Paks made for a great deal of uneasiness.

"When I had to decide on which of the Ajahs to join, I reflected upon my past. I have caused a great amount of pain through my life, so I chose to join the Yellow Ajah, to dedicate myself to healing pain instead of causing it. For similar reasons, I chose to swear the Three Oaths. Lies can also inflict pain, so I speak truthfully."

Her brow drew down, shadowing her eyes. "I am responsible for what happened to Jesi. I was there when... There was more I could have done than simply bearing witness to the destruction of two lives. Inaction is action, and I chose to do nothing."

Zarayne risked a glance in Paks' direction. "I owe you a debt that can never be repaid."
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Elan wrote:Of course, the problems with observing a chain of command arise when the one in command decides to do something unspeakably idiotic, like taking off on his own for no discernible reason in the middle of enemy territory.

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