Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

The everyday life of the inhabitants of the Grey Tower. This board is for general daily roleplay around the Tower, in the corridors, rooms and halls that make up most of the building.
Post Reply
Sunny
"Knife of Dreams"
Posts: 3757
Joined: July 18th, 2014, 3:23 am
PC: Jaryd Kosari
SC: Dakson Torellion
TC: Finn
QC: Owen Andarin

Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

Post by Sunny » August 26th, 2017, 9:58 pm

Jesi
The room Jesi stood in would have been small by even the stingiest of innkeeper’s standards, and yet it seemed palatial compared to the one she had shared with Delaine. A small, neatly made, bed stood in one corner. A simple wardrobe that had seen centuries of use filled another. A desk graced the spot in front of the window, with a simple ladder-back chair pushed beneath it. Next to the bed was a wash stand, and next to that, a small shelf for books and a few personal items. A worn rug lay in front of the small hearth, where a fire crackled quietly.

Accepted Jesine Molari.

How very absurd.

The Mayener tugged at her sleeves, the eight bands of color reminding her of the test she had passed. Once for what was. Easy enough to leave farmgirl Jesi behind, even if she had had to abandon her home to bandits. Once for what is. The tears on Paks’ face as Jesi ran to the arch haunted her every waking thought. Once for what will be. Jesine Sedai, fine and grand in her voluminous silks as she consulted with the greatest generals the Westlands had to offer. Jesine Molari, Aes Sedai, ordering the deaths of thousands in the hopes of saving millions. Jesi Sedai, moving pieces about on the war map, feeling every bit as wooden as the figurines she shifted.

No! That is not who I am. That is not who I will ever allow myself to be!

Abruptly the Accepted whirled on her heel and left the room, slamming the door so hard that it reverberated down the long corridor outside. A passing servant looked up in surprise, but Jesi snarled at her so fiercely that she dropped a curtsy and scurried away with a murmured apology. In the ensuing silence the Mayener sank backward with her palms flat against the wood, breathing heavily as she contemplated her options.

She had a class to go to, new students to meet, chores to do, a schedule of studies to create and present to Tia Sedai. All of the things she had been told she must do in this first week piled up in her mind and were subsequently dismissed. None of it mattered. I will not be that woman!

There was a place south of the horse pastures where she could find peace for a time. Jesi picked up her skirts and ran, blinded by tears and not caring who saw.
Image Image Image Image
False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
There's still a chance for me...and I'm still here singing.

User avatar
Roan
Non-Channeller Representative
Posts: 2463
Joined: May 27th, 2015, 6:46 am
PC: Riahana
SC: Tia Tomosan, Aes Sedai
TC: Paks Liard, Ji'Val
Location: Northerly

Re: Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

Post by Roan » September 9th, 2017, 10:55 am

Paks
Paks Liard Ji’Val stood in her new room and stared at herself in her new, darker grey uniform in the mirror. She still felt raw from the range of emotions the raising test pulled out of her, and struggled to wrestle them in. Here, by herself, the eternal smirk was not so eternal.

The Test of Honor was meant to push the Drin who stepped foot through the golden archway. Those who entered the test were meant to show they knew what it meant to give up everything for the sake of the Tower. Part of Paks understood it, but it didn’t make her feel any better about the scenarios she faced. Each of them hung heavy on her, pushing herself to doubt her worth despite the fact her superiors thought she was ready for a darker shade of grey.

The last scenario. . .there was no doubt in Paks’ mind that she would give up everything to ensure Jesi was safe. How could she not? The woman captured Paks’ heart and captivated her on so many levels. She also put up with Paks’ roguish ways without question, though the irony in that was the Mayener felt much less inclined to spend her nights at taverns, drinking until her eyes crossed.

Letting go a long sigh as she ran a hand through her short-cropped hair, the Ji’Val slowly tunred to look at her room with its single bed. How handy would that have been when she’d been a Drin? It would still be handy, as it meant she and Jesi wouldn’t have to sneak off to the loft or their secret spot in the Gardens. (Though given how Dax found them, it wasn’t so secret after all.)

Part of her wanted. . .almost needed a drink, but another part of her needed to see Jesi more. She should have been in the mood to celebrate. How long had it been since she’d been delivered to the Tower by the Magistrate? How long had it taken her to go from Drin to Ji’Val? More than a few of her peers had long ago surpassed her not only to reach the rank of Ji’Val, but to go on and get their Fancloak. Natlya and Alrim both came to mind, and they’d been Gaidin for years now it seemed.

The idea of wearing the Fancloak. . .Paks wasn’t sure if she’d actually ever make it so far. At that moment, she didn’t even want to think about the future, or that future. With a frustrated sigh, she left her new room and went on a hunt for Jesi with her first stop being Jesi’s room in the Great Serpent. Her roommate, though, told Paks Jesi had been raised, and that she’d not seen the woman that day.

Raised? Jesi was Accepted? Paks knew nothing about the Raising Test for Novices, but if it was anything like what she went through? The Ji’Val picked up her pace and went to their secluded spot in the Gardens. When she didn’t find Jesi there, worry rose up in Paks. It was all she could do to keep herself from sprinting as she made her way past the stables and beyond the pastures. There was a copse of trees that offered a bit of a secret garden to those who knew about it.

As she approached, Paks called out, “Jesi? Are you out here?”
Image

Sunny
"Knife of Dreams"
Posts: 3757
Joined: July 18th, 2014, 3:23 am
PC: Jaryd Kosari
SC: Dakson Torellion
TC: Finn
QC: Owen Andarin

Re: Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

Post by Sunny » September 12th, 2017, 6:16 am

Jesi
“Jesi? Are you out here?”

The Accepted lifted her head. It felt as if she had had her face buried against her knees for hours. Her chest ached from sobs, her fingers twinged from the death grip she had on her dress, and her eyes burned as if someone had poured an entire beach worth of sand into them. Her hair stuck to cheeks sticky with dried salt and snot; she pushed the tangled snarls out of the way impatiently and turned to look where the voice had come from.

“I’m here.” Her voice sounded strange and small, even to her own ears. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Here, Paks.” She scrubbed at her face with her sleeve, trying in vain to remove the evidence of her breakdown. The Mayener could do nothing for red-rimmed eyes, however, nor the imprint of folded cloth from where her cheek had rested against her skirt.

Paks stepped around a tree and Jesi stared up at her, rendered wordless by the colossal wave of need that crashed through her on laying eyes on her lover. It felt like years had passed since she had murmured a certain set of fateful words in the woman’s ear. So much had happened in so little time, it hardly felt real. So fascinated was she by contemplation of Paks's face, it took several breaths for the change in uniform to register.

“You, too?” Jesi asked. The Accepted’s eyes fell to the circle of gold on her finger, her lips twisting downward despite herself. Her teeth on the inside of her cheek helped bring her back to the present. “Congratulations, dearest. I hope- I hope it was not too hard?”
Image Image Image Image
False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
There's still a chance for me...and I'm still here singing.

User avatar
Roan
Non-Channeller Representative
Posts: 2463
Joined: May 27th, 2015, 6:46 am
PC: Riahana
SC: Tia Tomosan, Aes Sedai
TC: Paks Liard, Ji'Val
Location: Northerly

Re: Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

Post by Roan » September 12th, 2017, 2:02 pm

Paks
The Ji’Val’s heart seemed to leap when she heard her lover’s voice, but it didn’t take a Brown to sense something was off. As she got her first glimpse of Jesi, Paks felt her heart ache. She wasted no time closing the distance between them and sank to her knees in front of the new Accepted, taking Jesi’s hands in her own. “It was. . .it was an experience,” Paks answered regarding her raising. As hard as it had been for her, Paks’ sole focus at the moment was Jesi.

In all the time they’d shared together, Paks had rarely seen her love with anything other than a smile across her beautiful lips. She’d certainly never seen her red-eyed or as upset as she seemed to be. Reaching up, she traced her fingers along Jesi’s cheek, pushing away a wayward strand of hair before running her thumb along the woman’s jaw line.

Paks wanted to say something to comfort Jesi, but initially found herself at a loss for words. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the Accepted, her brows furrowed in concern. I love you, and it will be alright ran through her mind over and over, but the words seemed like empty platitudes. Jesi deserved more. “Congratulations to you, as well, my love, though it seems a bittersweet moment. Do you want to talk about it?” she spoke at just above a whisper and not once took her eyes from Jesi’s.
Image

Sunny
"Knife of Dreams"
Posts: 3757
Joined: July 18th, 2014, 3:23 am
PC: Jaryd Kosari
SC: Dakson Torellion
TC: Finn
QC: Owen Andarin

Re: Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

Post by Sunny » September 17th, 2017, 1:23 am

Jesi
No. No Jesi did not want to talk about it. She could get lost in the depths of horror that had been Jesine Molari Sedai…or she could pretend the woman didn’t exist. Had never existed, and never would. Reliving the nightmare served no purpose other than to give the Aes Sedai exactly what they wanted. That did not mean she could simply ignore Paks's comment...but for once, words failed her.

She pulled herself free of Paks’ grip and flung her arms around the other woman’s shoulders. Jesi pressed her ear against the Ji’val’s chest, listening to her heartbeat as she breathed. In…out. On the third exhalation, she released her grip –a little- and twisted her head up to look at Paks’s face. Dark eyes looked back, the normal snap of mischief hidden behind a mask of emotions the Accepted couldn’t begin to decipher.

She reached up, the backs of her fingers caressing Paks’s cheek. “I abandoned you,” she said softly. “I left you, and I became what they want me to be. Cold and hard as winter’s heart. I will not do it, Paks. I refuse.”
OOC: Airplane Wi-Fi wheee
Image Image Image Image
False alarm- there's still a song for me; I'm just about around to sing it
There's still a chance for me...and I'm still here singing.

User avatar
Roan
Non-Channeller Representative
Posts: 2463
Joined: May 27th, 2015, 6:46 am
PC: Riahana
SC: Tia Tomosan, Aes Sedai
TC: Paks Liard, Ji'Val
Location: Northerly

Re: Chasing Rainbows in Her Mind (Roan!)

Post by Roan » September 17th, 2017, 4:48 pm

Paks
Concern mixed with empathy and sympathy were all the Ji’Val’s expression held as she looked into Jesi’s sad eyes. She held her lover close, though initially didn’t know what to say. Eventually, a warm smile found its way to her lips as she gently rubbed her lover’s back, “Sweet Jesi. . .I don’t know what your test showed you. I do know what mine tried to show me, and all I can gather is the test is meant to test our resolve. . .test our will.

“I don’t think what we see in those tests will ever come to pass, meaning you do not have to become the woman you saw, or the woman they want you to be,” Paks spoke softly, but with confidence. She shifted and took Jesi’s cheak in the palm of her hand, slowly stroking it with her thumb, “Look around this place. You and I both know most of the women who wear the Shawl have a Douglas fir stuck so far up their arse, it comes out the top of their head. Those like Elia Sedai or our illustrious Amyrlin are prime examples, though they are far from isolated in the Arse-tree syndrome.”

Paks couldn’t help the slight smirk at the imagery she conjured, “And, yes while a lot of the women are like that, not all of them are. I’ve heard people talk about Tia Sedai, for instance. More than a few fon’t feel she is a proper Aes Sedai because she doesn’t school her expressions or isn’t dead pan like the rest of them.

“What they don’t realize they are saying is that she is genuine, unlike the bulk of them. She isn’t the only one like that, either. I don’t think she exactly cares what the rest of them think,” Paks explained. “So look to her and understand you can be who you want, and not what you think the Tower needs,” as she said this she slid her other hand to frame Jesi’s face. “And know, my heart, that I love you. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life. . .it is terrifying, but exciting and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“I know I would give up everything for you, and I know you, love. Despite what you saw, there is no way you would abandon me,” Paks finished and without hesitation placed her lips on Jesi’s.
Image

Post Reply
meble kuchenne na wymiar cennik

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests