Dust, Desks and Deliberation [Open]

[Andy]

The library, such a small name for something so grand and crammed with knowledge. Enough knowledge to warp the world around it he fancied with a soft smirk. He had spent less time within the duty shelves than anywhere else at the Grey Tower and instinctively he had felt that the time had come to correct his oversight. He was more than passable with his weaponry now and a Warder required a mind as well as an arm - he was frequently being told that by his betters despite the fact that he was reasonably intelligent and knew enough to get by. It was scandalously insulting and he kept up the consternation he felt at their words for a full ten minutes before he had to laugh at himself. Days had passed, weeks. He suspected there was some unwritten agreement that to be ready for the Fancloak you had to be able to claim knowledge greater than the average man or woman. The average soldier. He could have laughed at that too but he didn't. He saw the sense of it and through his black mood - the cloud that had eased but still surrounded him since Arafel somewhat - he had forced himself to try. Won't matter though. No point. Little sense in much anymore he had told himself repeatedly. Yet still he had gone and at first he had been proven correct. Nothing could change his mood, ease his burden or even give him satisfaction in the future vengeance he had promised for himself and his now deceased family. At first. Then he had discovered the two sections that would do both things - provide a balm and give him knowledge to strike back. "Philosophy and The Shadowspawn Archives. Who'd have thought" he murmured to himself as he sat at the corner table, a small wall building slowly around him as he read, read again and then tried to stuff it all into his head so that he would never forget the pages. He had drawn strange glances but he didn't care. He had been given dispensation to leave his practical lessons for now. He had spoken passionately with the Master of Training about why he needed it. If only for a week. He had been understood but had been given five days and no more. He had ran back to the library and like a whirlwind had started his quest. He rubbed his eyes and sighed, he needed a break but he didn't wish for one. The book before him he gently, almost reverently placed down and wedged the page open. Leaning back in his chair he became lost in thought as he rested his gaze. Fingers tapped a forgotten rhythm as he mused to himself

[Alianora]

Liaran Sedai

A stack of books was carefully balanced in Liaran's arms as the Blue sister walked through the library. It had taken her more time than she'd expected to gather them all, and she had yet to even open a single one. With only two days before she'd be expected to begin instructing Accepted in some of their private lessons, Liaran suspected she would be spending far more time than she'd prefer cooped up inside the Tower's library. She briefly considered taking the books back up to the rooms she'd been assigned within the Blue quarters, but discarded that thought quickly. She didn't think she'd ever get used to having that amount of space entirely for herself, rooms so large that the Sea Folk woman was sure she could fit an entire darter into them, were such a thing possible. No, she would do better here, in more familar surroundings, and having decided that, she looked for a place to sit.

At this hour, it wasn't especially crowded. There were the usual Browns, some members of the other Ajahs, a few of the Accepted and Dedicated studying....and someone in the grey worn by those who were training in the Warder Yards. Was he supposed to be here? Liaran didn't think they did much studying which would require the use of the library, but she supposed she could be wrong. She didn't know much about how any of the Warders in training spent their days. Liaran wondered for a short time if any of the Browns would ask him why he was there, then it occurred to her that she was Aes Sedai now, and could just as easily go ask him herself. She made her way over to the small table where he sat, setting her pile of books down as quietly as was possible. Even if it turned out that he wasn't supposed to be here, she didn't want to scare him. He appeared to be thinking intently on something, so when she addressed him, her voice was also quiet. "Are you supposed to be in the library at this hour?" she whispered.

[Andy]

Throughout the last few days he had managed to consume much upon the Shadow and its soldiers, largely things that he had already known from instructions or experience in the field but some small things had fleshed out his bones of information. Small tricks like reported ways of masking scents, distinguishing Fist names from differing emblems, which Trolloc breeds were most dangerous and why. The list was endless but he was grateful for it as it gave him a way of feeling like he were in control of things. Even if I know I’m not. Strange, I could have used another conversation with Zeen…if he were here still. Gone now. I could have told him how right I was…perhaps he told himself sadly, merely a thread chosen to suffer for something larger. It was always so. Philosophy had taught him about the roots of the enemies thinking and speculated upon why. It painted visions of a grander time, a better would and better people to live in it. Dreams, but pleasant ones, and there was no reason to give up on them unless forced to he had conceded. Mostly he had taken comfort in the texts that had spoken of dying, the cycle of the wheel and what happens after. Small hopes they were, but something to cling to. He would never have thought that thinking could have helped – an amusing thought that made him smile softly. Lost in thought he didn’t hear the approaching figure at first. “Do any of us have permission for anything?” he murmured back distantly, focusing shortly after and seeing whom he had spoken to. “Apologies Aes Sedai,” he bowed his head from his chair, “I did not know it was you, I was…thinking” he stated hurriedly, hoping he had not offended. His eyes scanned the woman, establishing that he had not met her before – or seen her if his memory was right. She was short but not as short as Fiona. Her skin was dark, her eyes darker and her hair seemed quite exotic in the way it fell and shifted. A pretty picture in blue and he guessed that denoted her Ajah of choice, they did seem to favour their own colours upon being Raised. Then again he was not usual in type with his unruly hair and silver bells, a treasured present and reminder. “Happily I have been allowed to further my learning, for a few days at least. Though I have to confess that it could take a lifetime to read upon everything and I’m not sure my eyes could stand it,” he stopped the drumming of his fingers when he realised they had continued, perhaps this was why she had approached him he reasoned, the noise, “I hope I have not disturbed you. Is there some way that I might be of assistance for you?” he asked, in case she was thinking of giving him a job as was her right. She was carrying a number of books and it was possible that she might wish them carried or for him to help her with some others. Mostly he found himself happy with the diversion, even his sudden passion for scrawled knowledge was not infinite and he had spent few moments with actual people in the last few days. Speaking to someone now was a pleasant reconnection with life, albeit however brief.

[Alianora]

Liaran

If she had had to guess, Liaran would not have taken the man to be a Warder in training. The grey clothing was right, and the man looked as if he could handle a weapon, but the Aes Sedai could not figure out why a fighting man would wear bells in his hair. She vaguely recalled that it was common among men from one of the Borderlands, though she had no idea which one. She looked away, not wanting to appear as if she'd been staring, and shrugged off his rushed apology for the comment he'd made earlier. "You're not bothering me," she assured him. "Though I should, perhaps, apologize for startling you." She hoped that put the man more at ease. She might be Aes Sedai, but Liaran had no intention of modeling her behavior after that of some of the colder, stricter sisters she'd had the misfortune to meet. She added after a brief pause, "I don't need any assistance, unless you have a particular interest in planning lessons for a group of Accepted." The Blue smiled briefly, though it faded away once she glanced at the books she'd left on the table.

"I wouldn't want to take you away from your studying." she told him. "What is it that Warders have to study in the library? I've never seen many in here." Quite possibly, that was because she'd never really cared to look for them. Warders just weren't a topic of much concern to her. She wasn't one, and unlike some of the other Accepted, had never been interested in bonding one, so she paid them little attention. Liaran thought that perhaps she could learn just a little more about them, if the stranger wanted to talk, and putting off the lesson planning for just a bit longer could surely do little harm.

[Andy]

A slow grin spread across his face as the conversation unfolded. This Blue was not one of the stricter cuts, the ones that had so many rules he felt sure they must carry a book around at all times. Probably stuffed up their backside. He relaxed slightly but still made it a point to himself that they had never met and to make a good impression and that manners were a highly prized thing these days. She had been studying him too, he wondered what she had seen. He had noted her eyes stray to the Bells more than once. He flicked one to a small jingling sound for her benefit. "Arafel, though most wear them in two braids either side of the head. You might say that I am not your usual Arafellin" his head tilted slightly as he studied her in turn and was still unable to place where she hailed from, "sit, please, just let me make some space so you aren't talking to a wall of parchment" he shifted his book to one side carefully before indicating the seat to her should she wish. "No apology necessary, I was taking a break. Name's Alrim Farshera, and though I'd love to get to know what Accepted learn I am not sure I'd be able to help you. Unless you were wanting to put them through an obstacle course. They come to watch the Trainees do theirs so often it's a wonder they have never joined in they seem to like it so much" he smiled softly. He considered her questions and realised that he was perhaps not the usual library reader. He had some difficulty justifying his own newfound desire to read and learn to himself too, if he were honest with himself. He had always enjoyed a good book, that much was true. However what had a hold over him at the moment seemed more than that. He needed to know. He knew it was spurred on by his family's demise but even that seemed to simple an explanation. He looked into the middle distance before looking back at her and answering. "Many do come here, though they tend to take the books away than stay. I think they find the Yard comforting and being around so many channelers staring at them, especially if they are pretty or handsome, puts them off. Or perhaps they just don't have much familiarity with them. They are kept largely separate I suppose," he mused aloud. "As for what they learn," he shrugged, "well that pile there is all about the Shadow, Shadowspawn and Forsaken. As much as is known anyway. Some of it is about their wars and tactics they use. Old Lore, legends, myths. Many of us need to learn such things and though the Gaidin do teach us they are not always available to question and so we read. Every now and then" "Then there's always battles, tactics and the like. Sometimes we're told to get a book just to keep our minds active. I think the Gaidin assume we will have to be at least partially smart to protect our Wards. Should we ever bond. Or perhaps they know that a book is a good break for those who's spirits are wavering" "As for me...well I suppose you could say that I am strange" he told her wryly. "I would imagine most Aes Sedai had read this entire library. I have seen many Accepted, Dedicated and the rest here. Coming and going. They seem to take t reading like we ar told to take to the weaponry, no? Do you come here often yourself?"

[Alianora]

Liaran

He had noticed her staring, and Liaran was mortified. Aes Sedai or no, she gave thought to making some flimsy excuse , and leaving the library quickly, but the man didn't seem to be insulted. Instead he kept talking, sounding as if she were not the first to wonder about the bells in his hair, then suggesting that she sit. Apparently, she was still welcome. She took a seat, rearranging the folds of her blue woolen skirts. Far too many folds for her liking, but she hadn't yet had time to have anything made. The Aes Sedai pushed her books to the edge of the table, out of their way. As she did, the sleeve of the dress shifted, clearly displaying the tattoos on that hand. "Liaran din Chelai Morning Star," she introduced herself. " Of the Blue Ajah, though you probably already guessed that." The blue she wore made her likely Ajah obvious. It wasn't that Aes Sedai couldn't wear another Ajah's color, but very few of them ever did.

"I didn't expect you'd have any interest in Accepted lessons," she said, smiling. She'd meant it as a joke. "I don't think an obstacle course quite fits in with a class on advanced fire weaving, anyways." The Aes Sedai then fell quiet as Alrim explained what he was studying, and why. It made sense that the trainees would need to know all those things, but she hadn't given it much thought. She'd always assumed that they worked on their weapons all day long.

She couldn't help but laugh at his comment about the library, though she was careful to stay as quiet as she could. Liaran would not have been surprised if some of the Browns had, indeed, read every book in the library. For herself, she couldn't imagine wanting to attempt such a thing. "Accepted and Dedicated really do have to be here most of the time," she explained. "They have fewer required classes, so they are expected to also do quite a bit of independent studying, and almost all of them do it here." She had been one of those, herself, the small room of an Accepted not being an easy place to do any work more complex than a little reading. "I used to come here often as an Accepted, but I haven't had to come as often since I don't need to study as much. Mostly I just use it as a quiet place to plan lessons," she said, waving a hand at the books. "I could do that in my study, but....I'm just not used to my rooms yet," she added. "I think I work better in here."

[Andy]

"They are quite beautiful," he gestured at the tattoos, he had seen few of them on women and certainly it was a first to see those of the Sea Folk, "and the colour had given you away, true, but then it is fitting. A colour to match your lineage. May your causes find fortune" He was glad that she had chosen to sit, he always liked meeting others. Deep down he would admit that he needed to. Every good hear the met made him a little brighter inside. He smiled back at her and leaned back a bit more, visibly relaxing further. "Alas, my plan was doomed to failure. A shame, it would have been fun too. Fire weaving though, best I could help with that is provide the candles. Still, I have always wondered what they did learn, how it felt and what using the One Power was like. Something I will never know of course" He listened to Liaran as she explained why the library was always so full, it seemed simple enough for a reason though he did wonder how many of them slunk into the shelving to escape doing chores and the like. It was what he would have done. His face softened ever more slightly at her words about seeking quiet places - he could sympathise. "I do like the quiet," he nodded slowly, his eyes looking into her own and wondering how deep the pools of dark brown went, everyone had depths and in his experience those who sought peace and solace usually had misfortunes. "I remember the day I became a Ji. Moved into new rooms. Larger, nicer, better furniture...but by myself. It seemed so large but also so empty. I sometimes miss being with another person to talk away the dark hours until sleeping, "but...I got used to it. Not sure I could put up with the snoring now" "I would imagine that your rooms will become home eventually. Do you teach that often then? I would have thought that an Aes Sedai could do as she wished, travel the lands and right wrongs. Pretty sure the stories were like that. Most of them" he tilted his head and eyed her, a merry glint in his gaze.

[Alianora]

Liaran Sedai

The Blue quickly moved to rearrange her sleeve so that it fell over her hand once more. She didn't like to draw attention to her unusual heritage. Liaran smiled at Alrim as he talked about his rooms. She could understand that feeling well enough, quite like her own difficulties getting used to the grand apartments given to an Aes Sedai. For his sake, she hoped the rooms Gaidin were given would be less overwhelming than she'd found her own to be. She continued to listen as the conversation shifted to her own teaching duties. Liaran couldn't imagine why Alrim wanted to know about that. She enjoyed it, but it wasn't a topic of interest to most people, excluding those few other Aes Sedai who also spent their days teaching.

She shrugged. " For now, yes. I have novices that I did not wish to stop teaching when I earned the shawl, and of course now, I can also teach Accepted. Most of the time, I do like it." His mention of the stories that were told about the Aes Sedai almost made Liaran start laughing. The Blue shook as she covered her mouth with a hand, trying not to be too loud. "I suppose that wasn't intended as a joke," she said. "I think I heard nearly every story there is about Aes Sedai from the other girls while I was a novice, and while I can't speak for anyone else, my life is nothing like any of those. Yes, I could leave the Tower if I chose to, but newly raised sisters are highly encouraged to remain in the Tower, at least for a short time." That was, at least, something she had been told; Liaran had no idea if it applied to any others but the Blue. "I do want to leave, to see more places besides the Tower and Hama Valon, and some day I will. I just don't know yet when that will be." The Aes Sedai was quiet for a moment. She couldn't quite put into words how much she wanted to leave, and how frustrating it was to have to wait longer. There were days that even her enjoyment of teaching couldn't entirely keep Liaran from feeling trapped. She wasn't about to share that with someone she'd just met, so she changed the subject. "What about you? What will you be doing once you become Gaidin?"

[Andy]

"And I was hoping my life as a Gaidin would be as interesting as the stories too," he chuckled to himself. It had all sounded too good to be true before he had even entered the Grey Tower but his time training had only served to heighten his scepticism. Still, he had hoped some remnant could remain to afford him an interesting life. So far interesting seemed to mean being tired, dirty, under attack or getting shouted at. He had been burned and cut a few times he supposed and had seen Shadowspawn a time or two. He had yet to see anywhere though and when Liaran talked of travelling it was easily related to. "I know a Blue, Nathaniel Asha'man. Friend of mine. Perhaps I should have a word with him about this staying and teaching business. He seems to go wherever he wishes. Perhaps you could go with him at some point" He left the information for Liaran to do what she willed with. He was fairly confident that as soon as Nate found out who had told Liaran he would take her on a grand adventure of their very own. It was pretty much how he had been treated that first time. Thankfully it had led to something more than just a scar. "So many places to go, it seems hard to even know where to begin" he said softly. He knew he wanted to visit Mayene, largely to try to figure out whether Nate was the typical citizen from that place. Andor was, of course, on his list because Fiona was from there and he had wondered what it was like since she had told him of her lineage. The other Borderland nations were on the list though below other places. He mused upon her question before answering, perhaps longer than might have been expected. "I don't know what I will do," he began in a thoughtful tone, "I have a few ledgers to wipe clean with the Shadow but I will probably get the opportunity to do that before I am made Gaidin. Either way I would imagine I would season myself at the Citadel for a time. Not too long but until I am confident I can travel alone. Or protect those such as yourself on their journeys" "I have places that I would like to visit but I am not sure that it would be permissible without a reason. Likely I would need to go there alongside an Aes Sedai or Asha'man to go" "Other than that I will be teaching Ji and Drin how not to get themselves killed, as I already do. Help protect the Tower. Work on a few ideas of my own regarding improving things perhaps" he shrugged. If he were honest with himself he wasn't even sure if he would get Bonded or not, try to earn his Herons or not. Or even if he would try to become more than the 'average' Gaidin. Changed from his lazy ways he might have been but he had no desire to stand out or become a target for anything he wasn't ready for. He had seen how the exceptional had risen to the top and wasn't looking to stretch beyond his abilities. Even being average would put him above most fighters in the lands. "It would depend upon the Gaidin Captain. Hopefully they will be kind to me," he smiled at the nonsense of such a hope. "The only other option, other than becoming a perpetual guard to the Tower, would be to seek a Bond. I am not so sure that will happen," he said, he knew of no one who was interested and there were more talented picks then he, "either way it will be an interesting life" "Perhaps I should find a cause like the Blues or the Greens. Something to chip away at until the Pattern does what it wills with me. Does it work that way? Do you make your own causes or are they given to you?" he asked. "If you could change something, a single thing, what would it be?" he asked her, wondering if a Blue could give him something to think about in that regard.

[Alianora]

Liaran

Alrim couldn't have known it, but the subject of his friend Nathaniel was not one Liaran wished to dwell upon. She didn't know the other Blue well, hardly at all, but she could still remember the disastrous trip they'd both been on to a place called Vaidulo. He'd been captured there and she could remember the moment they'd found him all too well. Liaran couldn't stop herself from shivering, the memory vivid and not at all pleasant. It was a relief when Alrim went on to answer her question.

Most of what he said was what she had expected. "I don't see why you couldn't travel alone," she said. Perhaps there was a rule against it, but she had no way to know if there were. "If your schedule is anything like that of an Aes Sedai, though, it might be difficult to find the time." He continued on, talking about the Bond, something to which Liaran had never given much thought. She couldn't picture herself ever being comfortable with the idea, another person inside her own head, all the time. To her, the sense of never quite being able to be alone was not at all worth the added protection.

"You don't have to Bond," she reminded him, sure he'd already been told that many times. Most of the Gaidin did, of course, but there were a few who never had, and a rare one or two who were more like herself, actively opposed to the idea. "I'm not planning on it myself." She left out the reason why. She was trying to be friendly, and mentioning her need for time to herself was not going to be any sort of assistance in that.

She swatted a curl out of her face as Alrim began asking her questions. "We choose our own causes, of course," she told him, rather surprised that he'd think it could be any other way. "Some of us have one large cause to follow for a lifetime, and others dedicate themselves to many smaller ones, but every Blue chooses for himself or herself." Liaran knew her own choice would be to pursue many small causes. For now, all of her effort went into her teaching, and in time she hoped to leave and search the world for girls and women who might want to come to the Tower for training.

His last question took the Blue by surprise, though as Liaran considered it, she felt it really shouldn't have. There were others within in the Ajah who spoke excitedly about what they wanted to do to bring change to the world, but Liaran had never thought of herself that way. She twisted the edge of her sleeve as she thought, and it took her some time to respond. Finally, she had an answer of sorts. "I don't know that it would really be world changing, but I'd probably change the way some countries view channelers. It isn't a problem everywhere, but there are still some places where people with the ability, especially men, are feared and sometimes killed for it, and it isn't right." Even her own people were less than open to men who could channel, something she'd dealt with in her final testing. Liaran sometimes wondered if the young man she'd tried to rescue wasn't out there, somewhere, possibly facing death for what he could do. She tried to distract herself from that by turning the question back on Alrim. "What about you, what would you change?"