Liaran
Entering the room, Liaran swept into a curtsey, rather surprised that she still remained capable of the motion, which had been quite the struggle for her as a young novice. The Accepted took a seat, pushing unruly black curls out of her face. It felt odd to her to sit in this office, a place she had known quite well in years past, and see a stranger's face looking back at her instead of Zaephra Sedai's. She hadn't really expected that the Indigo would still inhabit this office after as many years as she'd been gone, but the reality of it made Liaran's nerves worse. She raised her head, forcing herself to meet the other woman's eyes. She politely refused the offer of tea, however, not convinced that she'd be able to drink a drop. Even offering struck Liaran as odd; she was well aware that she was there to be punished.
Liaran pulled at her sleeves as she considered how best to explain herself without including Talona Sedai's involvement. It was a difficult task, and she was far from certain that the Mistress of Novices wouldn't suspect that she was leaving information out, but Liaran was determined to at least try. It took her quite a few minutes to begin to attempt to explain herself. "When I left the Tower, I had only just earned the ring." she stated. "I had not expected that privilege, and to be truthful, I don't know why I didn't refuse the testing. After passing, I had the usual nightmares and had become more homesick than I'd been since my very first days in the Tower. In addition, I had difficulty adjusting to the responsibilities of being an Accepted and did not deal well with the additional pressure that is placed on those newly raised. Eventually, I felt that it was too much to deal with at once, and I chose to run back to the ships, where I expected life to be more tolerable, if not any easier." The Accepted took a deep breath, hoping that explanation would prove enough. The rest of her story would be somewhat easier to tell.
"When I returned, I was allowed to take up a position as a Windfinder's apprentice. Nobody asked me about my time in the Grey Tower, and I never spoke of it. For years, I tried to forget it entirely. However, as time passed and I became closer to finishing my apprenticeship, I felt that something was...missing." Liaran's head bent slightly, gazing at the tattoos on her fingers that were only just visible from their hiding place under her sleeves. The Sea Folk woman did not like to admit what she was going to say next, but her dislike did not change that it was, essentially, true. "I'm sure you know that Windfinders are all experts at what you would call Cloud Dancing. On the ships, it is called Weaving the Winds. Every one of them is very highly skilled at it, but as a result of their focus, almost none of them is capable of weaving anything else." She hated how weak that made her people sound, but had no idea how else to explain the problems that had led to her departure.
"I have an affinity for Fire," she continued. "I have enough ability with Air and Water that I was able to learn in the way a Windfinder needs to, but it wasn't a strength for me as it is for most of the Windfinders. Once I became a full Windfinder, I found that I missed working with Fire, and also with Earth and Spirit, and that anything I had learned from my time as a novice needed to be practiced if I wanted to retain anything I had once known. This made me begin to start weaving things that I had not used in years, because I felt forgetting would be a waste of the knowledge. One night, I was working alone in my room, using Fire to create light." The Accepted paused, wishing it were possible to explain without including the next detail at all. Nobody liked to recall their passage through the arches, and she was no different. "One minute, I was doing something that had become normal to me, and the next, I felt as if something had taken hold of me and transported me back...into the arches." She rushed through the last few words of that sentence. "If I may, Aes Sedai, I don't wish to explain why my situation reminded me of that test, but I hope you can understand that it was not a pleasant memory for me. It made me feel as if I needed to return here as quickly as possible and submit myself for punishment as a runaway."
She bowed her head, hoping she appeared to be submissive enough."I have great respect for the work the Windfinders do, but I've come to realize that I don't want to specialize in that way, so that I have no skill in any other area. If I am allowed to study as an Accepted again, I hope to be able to learn about all the uses the One Power has, and to perform those I am capable of to the best of my ability." Ending her explanation, which had been rather longer than Liaran had intended, the Accepted's dark eyes met the lighter ones of the Mistress of Novices and awaited her decision.