Close Encounters of the Blue Kind [Attn: Alrim Farshera Gaidin]

[Bella]

It had been over a week since Sadira had "rescued" Alrim from Whitebridge, and she had left him to his quarters to get some rest after everything that had happened. She had been worried about him then but imagined he needed the time, and the quiet, and the privacy to recollect himself. She had wanted to give him that.

Now, though, she hadn't seen a hint of him for more than a week. She thought maybe she would...or they would, once again, happen upon each other by chance. However, they didn't. Her concern grew.

Finally, she decided that she needed to do something about it before she made herself sick. It was the only way an Aes Sedai could get sick, really, since the One Power allowed her to be immune to most everything else out there. A little asking around directed her to his most likely place at that time of the evening, which was his quarters.

That was...a little more intrusive than she had yet been, but it was just a friendly call and she wouldn't linger. She just wanted to make sure that he was okay.

She reached the door and raised her hand, knocking lightly on the weathered wood.

[Andy]

It had amused him at first, in hindsight, how quickly things could turn around for someone. He had spent what felt like half of a new life proving that he was worth the effort put in to make him so. He had helped hold the Citadel, fought Darkfriends, helped to rescue allies from the White Tower, delved into Shadowsworn business in Saldea. He had even managed to get those compliments from the Mistress of Arms, though she was not that rank at the time. Yet there was one other certainty - he had lost a channeller. It didn't really matter that even the hardest of noses couldn't find fault with his performance. He had done as asked and even had he been in that fateful tavern he would probably have been taken too. He knew that it was that acceptance that hit the hardest, that stung the most. He might have been his own worst critic but he expected no less from anyone else, especially those he had helped train. Had taken under his wing. Now he was a hollow imitation of what he had told them they should be. And so he had retreated to hiss own bastion, the only place that was solely his own. His quarters. Truthfully after the first few days it seemed a blessing in some ways that they allowed him to. It was hard to keep being told that there was nothing that could be done, officially at least, to reverse the course of events. Even he could only hit so many brick walls before he realised it wasn't going to happen. He had a few tricks left but they resided purely upon the whim of others and so he ad not pressed them yet. As he sat, staring into the flames of a few lit candles, the knock came and he put down his glass and considered not answering. It was his first glass but he had planned on making many others in the near future. The knock came again, it was a rhythm that was not familiar. He frowned and went to answer it. When he saw who it was he smiled, the first true one of the week. "Sadira," he said softly, "to what do I owe the pleasure? Please come in," he said, stepping aside for her, returning to his seat after dragging another chair to just across from the small side table that now sat between them. "I'm sorry that I did not find you first, your quarters are probably more interesting than mine," he said as he slumped into his chair, "all I have I are few interesting things from the Borderlands. I even have a few names for you, actually, letter came in from a family friend. I asked around about that jewellery" A distraction from what he was feeling, it was welcome. It was true, though, what he said, his rooms were relatively spartan outside of the few weapons upon the wall, usually exotic, and the rugs upon the floor. The desk was covered with missive she could pore over if she wished mostly merchant related or contact specific. Cosy might have been the word. He looked at her as he took up his cup once more, pouring another for her if she so desired. It was the first of the day. He had not planned upon her company. He looked at her, his gaze genuinely happy despite his internal battles. "I meant to find you but..." he trailed off, "well...I had a big wall to bang my head off of. Remember that politics? I think I told you I hated it?" he asked, focusing upon her and blocking out the rest," well apparently it was as bad as I thought. I am glad for your company" he said as he met her gaze.

[Bella]

It was heartening to know that he'd found some information for her based off their less-than-ideal trip to Saldaea together, but that wasn't what had drawn her there today. And looking upon him, she was glad she had come. There was something...a little unsettled about him, and she could easily imagine what it was.

"I am glad I am here," she said smoothly, offering a small but genuine caring smile. She herself was not a woman for much decorating, so his quarters did not in the least seem unusual to her. Although in truth, she didn't really look around that much. Her cool blue eyes were fixated on him.

She glanced at the cup he'd poured, and wondered if he'd been drinking more of those before she came. She took the one for herself and sipped from it before continuing. "In truth, I came because...I was concerned for you. I wanted to see how you were doing."

[Andy]

"You are too kind" He meant it too, there would be no doubt about that. It had not occurred to him that his absence would be noticed by anyone else other than the Gaidin Captain. The fact that he had caused her such concern was something that cut deeply. "Please, join me for the beginning of the evening" he said, with emphasis, attempting to forestall that judgement, "I would be glad if you were to join me. No one else seems to wish to" he stated the offering. He would rather the Master of Arms think the worse of him than her, which was something he accepted but did not voice. Her opinion of him mattered a great deal, he knew that well. He was still trying to puzzle as to the why but part of him told him that it was more than the professional. He had not broached the subject. He might never. Such things were hard to do and confront. Yet they were hard to ignore also. He looked at her for a long while. "Truthfully...not very well," he said sadly, "I have lost that most precious of things, as the Tower calls it. A channeller. I call it a brother. You know, of course. I trained so hard, tried to make myself perfect. I wanted to be a Warder. Not just a Gaidin...as it is...I am starting to wonder what the point is" "Some would now say such a thing is not advisable...I find it hard to argue" he finished with a slightly bitter tone.

[Bella]

Sadira felt the words--defending Alrim from Alrim--jump from her mind to her tongue in the blink of an eye, but she did not speak them right away. Sometimes words spoken too hastily were less easy to take in than ones that seemed to have been given thought. The time, the thought put to them, gave them more weight as being rational rather than emotional.

"I would not find it hard to argue with," she said softly after several moments and one sip of her drink. "What happened with Nate was...very unfortunate, but even the best of warders cannot do and be all. I know they teach you to try your best to be, but sometimes, it is just not possible. Even we Aes Sedai are still human, in the end. We are limited, but we keep doing as much as we can."

She paused and looked at him for a long moment. Thoughts poked at the edges of her consciousness, demanding she give them her attention, but she held them off and focused on him. She was here out of concern for his welfare, and that was important now.

Reaching out, she put her hand on his shoulder. "Such a thing is advisable and a channeler would be lucky to have you at their side. And I'm Oathbound, so you must believe me." She smiled, eyes glinting in the low light. "You are everything a good warder need be, and would bring a bondmate much benefit."

[Andy]

He listened to her, she was wiser than he, he knew, and her words carried weight with him. It was still hard to agree with her, though deep down he knew that she was correct. At the same time he held himself to the standard of what he should try to be rather than what he was. Everyone could make mistakes but not all mistakes were equal, and it didn't mean mistakes were acceptable. He kept his tongue stilled though, she had taken the time to think upon her words and he owed her the decency to think upon them. When she reached out he did smile, his free hand squeezing her fingers briefly. He looked at her and knew she had come to check upon him. She was kinder to him than he currently felt he deserved but he appreciated her for being so. Her last words were particularly touching, especially given that she had been Bonded before. He felt his self-criticism waver a little as he looked at her and saw the smile. "You might be the only one right now who would say that," he said with a flicker of his good humour briefly returning, "but I suppose I must believe you, mustn't I? It would be nice to have your eyes to see me with" he said, returning her smile for a few moments. He did believe that she believed it but it was more difficult for him to do so. He pushed the darker thoughts away as best he could for now, they weren't making him the best of company after all. "Your opinion matters," he said softly, turning his gaze back to the flickering light, "I was worried it might have changed. Thank you, for being you. There aren't enough like it. I'm sorry if I caused any concern" He smiled again as he looked at the candle flames dance, it reminded him of the nights he had spent before open fires. Times when things were somehow more chaotic but much simpler. She made him realise simple truth that he forgot in the complexity of his new life. Despite himself he felt some mischief coming back. "I don't suppose you want to go travelling again?" he asked in an amused tone, pointedly not looking at her.

[Bella]

She watched the journey of her words as it passed over his face. She could see the shifting of his doubt, yet that he did indeed take her words seriously and she appreciated that. Of course, she was used to people listening to her, as an Aes Sedai of her age and tenure within the Tower. But it was...different with him.

Reluctantly, she pulled her hand back and then watched him as he looked into the candle's flames and not at her.

Something settled into her at that moment. Some thought that had been circling around in her brain but keeping its distance now became a more total part of her.

"I'm always up to go traveling," she said lightly, "and spend a great deal of my time outside of the Tower. So much so in fact..." She trailed off, her eyes still keen on him. "So much so that I don't wonder if I shouldn't have a warder again. If I shouldn't have a bondmate to always travel with me, keep me out of trouble..." She paused again and watched his face. "What do you think?"

[Andy]

His cup was at his lips as she asked the question and it paused for a few moments. He was lucky he had already swallowed, it would have been an embarrassment had it been but a moment earlier. He placed the cup down upon the table. He recognised a suggestion in the question and it surprised him slightly. He could have imagined it of course, normally she told him what she thought outright. He looked at her warmly. "I think that your safety should be of the highest priority, and that you should have one of the best if you insist on needing to be kept out of trouble," he paused, his finger tracing the rim of the cup thoughtfully, "and I think it would be an honour and you'd be a fool to refuse" he said with a small smile, meeting her gaze. He didn't ask who she was thinking of, he had an idea though it was not voiced, he dared not. It was getting more difficult to surprise him of late, things were never normal at the Tower, yet she had managed it. He had entertained the idea of course, more than once, of asking her about it. The subject had been skirted around when discussing the past but not out in the open for the present. It was strange timing for such hopes he had to surface. "When did you decide it was time?"

[Bella]

"I met you."

Sadira said the words softly, but with all sincerity. Even without the weight of the Oaths upon her, the truth of her statement would have been clear. Her blue eyes normally so clear, cool, and steely were softer now in the flickering orange glow. There was nothing uncertain in that look, however, and the small curve of her lips was telling.

"Any channeler would be lucky to have you," she repeated, "so I had better make an offer before someone else does. Be my warder, Alrim. I knew how well I liked you when I met you at the reception. You made me remember myself in ways none others had before, despite several trying. And you showed your to me on our trip to Saldaea that it was even more than that."

She leaned closer and tilted her head slightly. "Be my warder, Alrim Farshera. Will you?"

[Andy]

A handful of responses about how recent events showed that he wasn't ready, or asking whether she was sure, and on and on, sprang forwards in his mind but never made it to his lips. They died in her gaze and under her words. She was so certain, so sure and sincere that whatever last pieces of self-criticism seemed to vanish. He felt bad about what had happened and he would always feel so, but it was impossible to dislike himself when she spoke of him so. "I don't get charmed at a party by just anyone. Nor do I spend the night scouting dives for any Aes Sedai. You are wise, beautiful, and have a good heart. I can think of no greater things to be, or to know, or share" he said, his own tone just as certain. What was also clear was that she had the knack of doing for him what she said he did for her. She made him believe that he was as she saw him. He remembered the teasing about Aes Sedai not being in hiding. He had been the one hiding away. And now he couldn't anymore, even if he wanted to. She found him even when missing, after all, there was no hiding from that. A slow grin spread across his face in both joy and nervous amusement. "I have been many things in my rather colourful life but a fool I am not, not anymore," he said by way of reply, reaching out to brush her cheek briefly, "of course, Sadira Jolstraer, I will be" Small words when said but stretching to the horizons internally. He hadn't truly believed that she would ask him, so much so that he was not sure whether he suspected he was dreaming. He ignored the urge to pinch himself for now. Certainly he was nervous. The last time someone had used a similar weave he had ended up on the floor. Not to mention that what walls between them that existed would largely vanish. Not all, of course, but it was no small thing to commit to.