She might have blushed at Mael’s praise, if she didn’t feel so utterly unsettled. As it was, she simply nodded in recognition; the idea that Mael had seen places only in Tel’aran’rhiod, and never in the waking world, was far more interesting than a well done. She curled her toes in her slippers, feeling the give of the carpet under her feet, and considered that idea. “How do you know that you have seen those places as they truly are, then?” Haxia asked him, words slow and thoughtful. “How would you know that you have actually been there- could you not have sent yourself to a place you imagine to be the Stone of Tear, that is not actually the Stone in Tel’aran’rhiod? If things other than people are both real and not real, I don’t think I would trust the Stone to be the Stone, not if I didn’t already have an idea of what it should be.”
Haxia liked the idea that she might move herself about Tel’aran’rhiod with a stray thought even less. She had done it, more than once, and it was always jolting and terrible. Haxia had not actually known that she had moved herself before now; she had accepted it as one of Tel’aran’rhiod’s oddities, just like doors that would not stay closed nor open. She bit her lip uncertainty, and thought I do not want to see the Stone of Tear as fiercely as she could.
“No.” The word was out of her mouth before she realized that she was speaking. “I mean,” Haxia started again, startled and wrong footed, “only that I have had enough excitement for one night.” And she had! It seemed hours ago now, but she had been chased by a fiery nightmare, and even more than that, bringing herself to the Amyrlin’s office by sheer force of will was already quite enough for one dream. “I would be happy to try to visit the Stone of Tear another time.” She felt small and inelegant speaking so, but Tel’aran’rhiod had scrambled her usual wit. It made Haxia glad that it had been Mael who had happened upon her, not her usual teacher; Jesanyne would have jumped at the chance to make her feel even smaller.
“I would like to go back to sleep. Could you- teach me to do that for myself?” It was the one skill of the World of Dreams that Haxia was eager, even desperate, to learn. “I would be very glad to have you as a teacher.” It was the most proper way Haxia could think of to respond, and hardly touched at the depth of that feeling. Oh, she was almost certain she would have begged him to take her on if he had not offered! He had taught her more in an hour than Jesanyne had taught her in a month, and Haxia certainly had a far better impression of him than she had of the surly Accepted. She was, she realized with a more than a little dismay, glad of the monster that had brought him to her. She had never thought she would be grateful for a ghastly fire monster.
Haxia liked the idea that she might move herself about Tel’aran’rhiod with a stray thought even less. She had done it, more than once, and it was always jolting and terrible. Haxia had not actually known that she had moved herself before now; she had accepted it as one of Tel’aran’rhiod’s oddities, just like doors that would not stay closed nor open. She bit her lip uncertainty, and thought I do not want to see the Stone of Tear as fiercely as she could.
“No.” The word was out of her mouth before she realized that she was speaking. “I mean,” Haxia started again, startled and wrong footed, “only that I have had enough excitement for one night.” And she had! It seemed hours ago now, but she had been chased by a fiery nightmare, and even more than that, bringing herself to the Amyrlin’s office by sheer force of will was already quite enough for one dream. “I would be happy to try to visit the Stone of Tear another time.” She felt small and inelegant speaking so, but Tel’aran’rhiod had scrambled her usual wit. It made Haxia glad that it had been Mael who had happened upon her, not her usual teacher; Jesanyne would have jumped at the chance to make her feel even smaller.
“I would like to go back to sleep. Could you- teach me to do that for myself?” It was the one skill of the World of Dreams that Haxia was eager, even desperate, to learn. “I would be very glad to have you as a teacher.” It was the most proper way Haxia could think of to respond, and hardly touched at the depth of that feeling. Oh, she was almost certain she would have begged him to take her on if he had not offered! He had taught her more in an hour than Jesanyne had taught her in a month, and Haxia certainly had a far better impression of him than she had of the surly Accepted. She was, she realized with a more than a little dismay, glad of the monster that had brought him to her. She had never thought she would be grateful for a ghastly fire monster.