Family Matters [Sunny~]

The World outside the Grey Tower is a vast place.
Elan
"Lord of Chaos"
Posts: 450
Joined: December 6th, 2016, 10:29 am
PC: Jaren Marle, Asha'man
SC: Mael Akashi, Asha'man
TC: Delaine Taborwin, Novice
QC: Valentin Akashi, Soldier
Location: Finland
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Re: Family Matters [Sunny~]

Post by Elan » February 20th, 2018, 12:11 am

Mael
For a long time silence was all there was — the vast, all-consuming silence of the Kandori winter night outside; the equally deep silence within him. He knelt wrapped in that silence, like the Void but without the benefit of shutting emotions on the outside. No, instead he felt everything more keenly than he had in years, if not decades; the guilt, the shame, the regret… the grief, deep enough to drown in.

Then, he felt more than heard the door open as someone entered the room, their steps light as they came to kneel next to Mael. Mael recognised Jaryd a fraction of a second before the other Red spoke. Quiet though his voice was, Jaryd’s words broke the silence that had grown all but impenetrable, giving Mael something to focus on, an anchor to ground himself.

Slowly, he drew a ragged breath and glanced towards Jaryd without raising his head. My apologies, he wanted to say; you didn’t need to see this. He didn’t know what to do with this quiet kindness; Alastair would have told him to get up and proceeded to get him drunk, tried to snap him out of his despair; Alastair didn’t know how to not make everything about himself, and Mael would have been all too happy to let himself be distracted. Alastair was— had been— good at distractions. But this was Jaryd, and Jaryd was…

Well, he wasn’t Alastair.

Mael swallowed the apology that was still trying to get out and finally raised his head. “Thank you,” he said instead. His voice was rough and a little unsteady, but the sentiment in it was genuine. He looked up at the painting again and went on, “I did love her. But we were young, and when I had to go away, when I realised the Black Tower was never going to let me return to my old life… I tried to give her a chance to find someone else. Someone who could stay, make her happy.” A wry ghost of a smile twitched the corners of his mouth. “In retrospect, I didn’t communicate it very well.” An understatement, that, and he imagined Jaryd could probably hear as much.

“I don’t know if she ever did,” he said after a moment. “Find anyone. I don’t know if she was… happy, and even if Eleas or Leander could tell me, I… I rather think I’ve lost the right to ask. I gave it up when I walked away without looking back.” Again he was silent for a moment, looking for words as he looked at Jaryd again. “I hope she was. I think… the Ariane I knew would have made the best of the life she had. Is it… selfish of me to think…” He trailed off helplessly, desperately wanting to be convinced but unable to ask for more than he already had, not if his life depended on it.

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