To Be, or Not To Be

[Andy]

The last week or two had been a whirlwind of activity, threats, bribes and downright fist fights at times. He had torn what parts of the underbelly of Mayene he could find to pieces. Despite his efforts he was left with empty hands and a sense of failure that stung. None knew where Nate could have been taken, few even knew there had been Black Tower Asha'man in the free city. The ones who did recalled them distantly, as if through a dreaming haze. He suspected the One Power had something to do with that but he had no knowledge of such a thing. So he was alone. Left with nothing but his own thoughts and they had been quite happy to kick him when he was down on his knees, then the floor and now his mood was in the depths off shore somewhere. He had told Nate's family what little he could but he felt a liar, which he was, for not telling them everything. He had retreated to a tavern, a different one than they had stayed in, wondering how he could get out of the city. It was hard to tell time without stepping through the door into daylight. Stuck with himself. And the singing, the terrible, terrible singing. They just had to pick a song that reflected how he felt, how could they not? His luck was terrible. I thought I heard the Old Man say: "Leave her, Johnny, leave her." Tomorrow you will get your pay And it's time for us to leave her Leave her, Johnny, leave her! Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her! For the voyage is long and the winds don't blow And it's time for us to leave her He stared into his cup, his food cooling before him, wondering whether the song was right. He had had a good run so far at the Tower but this trip had proven he was not capable of protecting anyone except himself, apparently. Logic of his past actions told him otherwise but it was hard not to fall into the pit of his inner thoughts. His anger had ebbed by now and it was hard to get it back. Now it was gone he only saw the faces he couldn't help. Some Warder he would be, couldn't even stop one tiny kidnapping. He snorted to himself and finished the drink, pouring another from the bottle before him. He wasn't drunk, but he was tired. Tired of thinking and getting nowhere. The real question, he knew, was how he was going to get back. He had some coin but not enough for the whole journey and he didn't have time to work for coin, he had to tell them what had happened. For all he knew it was part of a wider attempt to steal channellers. Well...Asha'man at least. He wasn't sure the Black Tower cared about Aes Seda that much. He sighed and knew he would have to talk to a Captain, try to negotiate some arrangement. He didn't relish the occasion.

[Andy]

He stepped into the early morning light, beginning his journey wishing he had more to show for the visit, and took a few paces towards the docks. He had stayed long enough to know there were no leads here and he had the feeling that his brother was already at the Black Tower. His purpose in staying had been to try to get a few kicks back at them, find out what he could about the reasons for the kidnapping and maybe turn around some contacts but it seemed a dead end now. He knew there were no Grey Tower folk in the city either that he had been able to find and so there was one option left...ship. It was as he made his way that the flash came and instinct kicked in and he threw himself sideways, rolling to come to his feet and pulling his own sword, his family sword. Four of them that he could see, his eyes darted but if there were others they were well hidden. "I haven't got time for betrayers and snatchers" he said, for once summoning the Ko'di that Riahana had been trying to teach him to master without much effort. Must be the moment, danger the thought rippled and faded away. His shoulders relaxed, his stance eased and he felt completely at one with the blade that was now a part of his arm. It was so easy to dance now, he thought, finally understanding the trick that those he considered the best must know. It wasn't about effort, it was about it's lack. Efficiency of movement. The clash of steel rang as they closed in and he batted their blades away, stepping out of the way of their more haphazard strikes, until the moment presented itself and the form came - The Boar Rushed Down the Mountain - slicing neatly across two bodies. He stepped immediately into The Leopard's Caress and cut into the legs of a third. He stepped back. So easy. The idea that he wasn't so useless after all tried to shout at him but he pushed it away, not wanting to lose the Ko'di. The fourth was joined by two more, one from each side erupting from around corners, and he stepped aside and his blade came around almost delicately to meet the knees of one which caused them to smash into the other coming from the opposite direction. He stepped forwards and the last one looked around at his fallen comrades, looked into Alrim's eyes, and turned tail in flight. Alrim took one look at the corpses and did the same, he had to get out and upon a boat. Good thing it was getting to the right sort of time for shoving off. He had all the confirmation he needed, the Black Tower was hunting its enemies and that seemed to be pretty much everyone these days. Yet they had sent common fighters, not Ahsa'man. They had not considered him much of a threat. Or they didn't care whether their people would be successful.

[Andy]

After just over a month of rapid, non-stop travelling and he stepped off of the ship he had bartered passage for - the third one in point of fact. He had earned it too, labouring cargo, defending the deck and doing odd jobs that were asked of him. It spoke of his commitment to get back to the Tower that he had worked hard enough for Captain' to recommend him to friends who were headed north. He was in Whitebridge now and he wished he had time to see the sights, they were impressive. "No too long already, wasted time. Better to see it again another time" he muttered to himself, wondering how in the Light he was going to manage to get himself back now the land travel was the only true option. He had no horse and his boots would wear out long before he walked it back he was sure. Frowning to himself he decided to fall back on the age old option - a tavern. This time to learn and glean information instead of t drink. He had had enough of that recently and he'd rather turn up sober if anyone from the Grey Tower were passing through. It was a major city after all and all kinds of business vital to the Tower and Hama Valon likely had to pass through at some point. He paced through the streets, finding one which was rich and mostly central to the hub that was Whitebridge. He rented aa room, ordered food and found a corner by the fire to sit in, there to think and hopefully get himself out of the mess he had found himself in. "I swear, I'll never go anywhere without telling people to come find me after a while. Should have done so anyway…foolish. Too foolish, too trusting to chance. Must be more cautious if anyone will want to…" he let the muttering trail away. He had little time for self-pity and even though his moods were capable of sinking he had had enough of himself also. When he got back he'd never kick himself ever again, he swore. He was better than that. It had to count for something that he had survived and managed to get himself places, so far.

[Andy]

"What's got you so brooding lad?" The question startled him fro his thoughts, he had not invited company and so had expected to be left alone. It hadn't occurred to him that he might be being watched. The fact that he had been caught off guard only added to his embarrassment of the month. At least, he hoped, this mistake would not lead to anything but flushed cheeks. He eyed the man, he was old and wearing an apron, the owner of the establishment. "I don't…brood" he said in response, hoping the man would leave the drink and food in his hands and leave. "I've had sons lad, you don't fool me now," the man said, putting the items down and taking a chair opposite, "is it a lass? It's always a lass" "Yes," he said, a small lie. "Ah, well that's an old story told many times over. What happened this time? Let you down hard?" "No," he said slowly, wondering why he was even taking part, "if anything it was the other way around" "Never met a decent woman who wouldn't forgive if you asked for it. Well…some things ain't forgivable but you don't seen the so-" "No" he said, hard as stone, and the man nodded. "Seems like what you got is too much pride" Alrim laughed internally at that, either the man saw something he couldn’t or he was right but for the wrong reasons. He wasn't sure which he would prefer. "How so?" "Well you're sat here, looking at the fire like you're going to get lost in it instead of doing what needs be done" "And what if I was thinking they might be better off without me?" "You a bad man?" "Try not to be" "Then I'd say it'd be up to her lad. Won’t find out unless you find her" Alrim nodded, another way of looking at things. He appreciated it even as he felt it hardening his own resolve. He had been childish in his reaction, the Tower deserved better than that, as did the people in it. "Thank you, for the food for thought" "And the food!" "Yes, that too" The innkeeper nodded, looked at him once more for a while, then turned and set back to his duties. Alrim looked at the food for a while before beginning to eat.

[Andy]

The light of the sun reflected off of the river below, the effect was quite beautiful and despite the month's events he had to smile at it. Blue flashes, yes, it was another reminder of why he wanted to return. The merchant caravan had had some unexpected delays and so he had little else to do but admire the city and its construction. And to reflect upon things. He tried not to think of the Black Tower and Asha'man, there was nothing he could do until he got home. It rankled, of course, but the Wheel weaved. He did think about promises made and reasons for said homecoming. He supposed it was inevitable that he had been angry and careless, it wasn't every day that a brother vanished. In the grand scheme he supposed a little bit of a reaction was not so bad. He had made sure the family were safe and had escaped the trap. He was tired too, mentally more than physically. Yet he had made promises, of a kind, and always tried to keep his word. He missed people more than he thought e would too. It was easy to not think about their absence when you could Gateway back the following day.  Now, still only halfway to the Tower, there was a longing. The smell of the kitchens, the sounds of the Yard and the company of those he cared about. If he needed any more reminding that he was no longer the transitory rogue then that was it. "One day I will put together that team I thought of and we'll burn the Black Tower to the ground" he muttered to himself but there was no strength behind the words, he had no anger left to use. He watched the sails of a ship slip beneath him, bit by bit, almost serene in its coasting. Alas there were no ships he could take or he would have jumped into the water and swam to the one that could. The idea gave him a little flash of amusement. A sopping wet Gaidin, there was a message in there somewhere, if only for the sake of amusement. His gaze went to the distant horizon and he frowned, wondering what would walk over it next. And whether he would be ready for it. "I suppose," he told himself, "I can only do my best"

[Bella]

[subtitle]Sadira Jolstraer Sedai, PSC[/subtitle]
Blues were of an Ajah that often had many places to go to and many things to do. It seemed like Sadira was never to know where she might be from day to day, or when a task or mission might come up that would lead her, duty-bound, to one corner of the world or another. This was why she was in Whitebridge that day.

The potential for danger had been very low on this task, so she had come alone. Haeden remained back at the Tower. She might have invited Alrim, but she couldn't find him. He'd left a while ago and had yet to return. She hoped he was well.

Now she was preparing to return home. Her duties here completed, she allowed herself to do a little shopping at some places she was familiar with and then to leave the city to Gateway back home. She walked down a bridge crossing the river and was only paying idle attention to her surroundings when someone watching the water caught her attention.

She stopped when she realized who it was. "Alrim?"

[Andy]

So lost in his thoughts, passing what time he had to wait inside his own skull, that he didn't register his own name at first. It filtered through to him as if from far away and he blinked, it sounded familiar but his mind wasn't quite caught up with reality. He briefly wondered if this was going to be a new threat, his right hand ready to go to the dagger hilt at the small of his back as he turned to see who had called him. When he took her in he blinked a few more times, his mouth opening slightly, then closing, then opening once more. What were the chances? Finally he caught up with himself, acting without thinking. "Sadira? Sadira!" It was said just before he sped forwards, closing the gap and wrapping his arms around her in an embrace that was equal parts relief and joy, turning them around with the momentum. He didn't care that it might be unseemly for an Aes Sedai in public, he was just happy he was no longer alone, that he would be going home sooner than expected and that someone he knew and had missed was there with him. He laughed properly for the first time in a month. "By the Light I am glad to see you!" he breathed, letting her go, "how did you find me?"

[Bella]

His abrupt embrace surprised her almost as much as seeing him in the first place had, but it certainly didn't displease her. She simply laughed and held on until he finally set her down again. His relief was almost a palpable thing and she wondered just what had happened to him, and why he was here, in the first place.

"To be honest, I didn't, precisely," she said with a smile. Of course she was honest. She remained Oathbound. "I was here on other business all together and walking down this bridge and...saw you here."

[Andy]

He was not surprised that no one had been looking for him, if they had they would likely have found him by now. Though he was still surprised at the truth of conversation they had had at the Feast of Lights. She turned up just when he needed her most. Walked down just the right bridge, in the right place, at the right time. It was comforting in its way. "Of course you did," he said with wry smile, "but I am glad that you still have the talent for finding me. Even if I had no idea I'd end up here" he said, other thoughts intruding upon the moment. Now that he was getting over the surprise of seeing her other thoughts were trying to batter their way into his conscious mind, dragging with them emotion he would rather not have to display. He shook his head, pushed them away, and placed his hands upon her shoulders, looking at her directly before talking in a quieter, but more serious tone. "I must return to the Tower, as soon as possible. It is most urgent. I have to tell them..." he sighed, wishing the whole thing had never happened, "Nate's gone. From what I put together he was taken by his brother, an Asha'man of the Black Tower. I hope it is just one incident but...well..." He trailed off, there was nothing else to be said. If it were as larger pattern then it would become known soon enough. All he could do was tell them of Nate and hope there was a way to get him, and anyone else that had been taken, back. He left out that it was his failure, as he saw it, it did not need to be said and he was sure that the Gaidin Captain and Master of Arms would not be pleased, let alone the First Selector and Blue Sitters. And then there were the thoughts he did not want to even touch, the ones tat told him the Black Tower was not a nice place for Grey Tower people, even at the best of times and without disappearing acts. "You said you have business? I can help you finish it if you like?"

[Bella]

The Black Tower has taken Nate?

She didn't really know her fellow Blue that well, as he seemed to have no interest in knowing her, but he was still a Brother. He was still a son of the Grey Tower and as such, none other was allowed to just take him. And thus had Alrim been cut loose and stranded here in Whitebridge... Sadira only wished she had been here sooner!

"My business is already concluded," she said quickly and confidently. "I was just preparing to leave, actually. So, we should be about it and swiftly. This news must get back to the Tower. Do you have belongings needing retrieval before we do?"