Journey to Cairhien, attn: Bella/Haeden

[Alianora]

Liaran Sedai

The ride, as awful as it was, gave Liaran far too much time to think. She did not say one word to Haeden over the days that passed. What could she possibly say? As they continued on, it had become horribly clear to the Aes Sedai that she could never have gotten home had she been alone and on foot. She just wasn't strong enough. She knew she would have found a river or a pond, some source of water, to throw herself into and let the life flow from her. Only Haeden's intervention had prevented that from happening, and for someone as self-reliant as Liaran, the realization was sickening. She owed the Gaidin, the stranger, her life. Nothing she did, certainly no mere words could ever repay him for that.

She had long ago lost count of the days they'd been traveling. Everything hurt. Her arms ached from clinging to the saddle, her legs burned from her constant attempts to keep herself upright, and the slowly healing wounds on her back itched until Liaran could have clawed them open again, if she'd had a hand free to do so. All of it paled next to the hole inside her. There were times when Liaran looked down at herself and couldn't quite understand how something could be so painful and yet leave no mark on her actual body. The horse kept running, and Liaran fought to hold on, not to lose her grip.

She barely heard Haeden assuring her that they had almost arrived, and never noticed when they had passed through the Tower gates. Only the sudden stop of the horse jolted Liaran back to full awareness. Haeden helped her down, for which she was both grateful and embarrassed, because she really had needed it. If she had tried to get down on her own, she was sure her legs would have collapsed underneath her. As it was, she still held the saddle in one hand, and wasn't about to let go until she was sure she could stand on her own.

Haeden asked her if she wanted him to go with her, and it was a surprise to Liaran to realize that part of her did. She didn't want to be alone, though it irritated her since it was hardly far from where they stood to the infirmary. When had she become so weak? Still, she wasn't about to ask him to stay with her. How long had the poor man been traveling with her already? It was supposed to have been two days, if that, and however long it had been, it had surely been far longer than that. She could not possibly justify taking him from his own life any longer, but neither could she refuse him if he wanted to go. Liaran sighed, and her legs shook under her, suggesting that she wasn't quite steady enough to let go of the horse yet. "You don't have to, unless you want to," she told him. "I've been more than enough trouble already." The Aes Sedai blinked. She hadn't meant to say that out loud, but she was so tired and hurt so much it was hard to think. Liaran let go of the saddle, wavering as she tried to keep herself standing upright enough to make it to the infirmary.

[Bella]

She was clearly in rough shape, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. How could she not be? After all that had passed. This was meant to be a simple trip. At most, it would have been complicated by a handful of teenage girls able to channel, not a kidnapping and a Stilling and a mad dash to get home...

Haeden looked her over from within a stoic expression, not allowing his own emotions to show. That was a burden the Aes Sedai did not need. Darkness was settling inside him, but he could ignore it while he focused on her well being.

"Please, do not feel such, Aes Sedai," he said, his voice low as he bowed his head slightly. "If you, however, can put up with the burden of me a little while longer, I would much rather walk with you to the infirmary." He did not want to explain to her all the reasons this was, some for the sake of his pride and some for the sake of hers.

Catching the nearest servant passing, he asked the man to take the horse to the stable and tend it well; it had worked hard and taken care of them on this return, and it deserved reward for it.

"I will see you to Gareth Asha'man, for I have the utmost confidence in his ability to help," he said, gesturing for them to walk and not delay her Healing a moment longer than need be.

[Alianora]

Liaran Sedai

"Of course," she said to Haeden, and then began to walk. Liaran did her best to remain standing up straight, hobbling into the Tower with Haeden accompanying her. She stuck close to one of the walls, which allowed her to set a hand against it when she thought she might lose her balance. Her task was made even more difficult by the fact that novices, Accepted, and Aes Sedai all used this hallway and she didn't want to be seen by any of them. She could have cared less about the men, or the Gaidin of both genders, but the women....they would have been able to sense her ability, and as they passed, Liaran knew she recognized at least a couple of the girls. She could not bear to think that any of her students would see her and know what had happened to her. Desperate to avoid this, Liaran turned her face to the wall as much as she could while still looking at the hallway in front of her.

It seemed to take her an entire Age to reach the infirmary. She wasn't really sure how she did it without falling. Just opening the door threatened to knock her off of her feet, but she pulled it open and stumbled inside. She thought she saw the Asha'man at work. "Gareth?" she said. Liaran had, of course, intended to address him calmly, but her voice, when she heard herself, was high, thin, and pleading, and Liaran was horrified by how needy she sounded. There was no possible way she could say anything else, not to Gareth or to anyone. She looked to Haeden, a wordless cry for help explaining what was wrong, and hated herself for it.

[Bella]

Gareth heard his name called and turned to see who had entered. He recognized his kin right away, and just a moment later, he recognized the young Sea Folk woman that he had assisted some while back. She was still Accepted then, now Aes Sedai. The look of her showed that this...was not a pleasant visit.

He hurried over. "Gaidin, Aes Sedai," he rumbled quickly, pale brows drawing together with concern.

"Can we take to a private room?" Haeden asked, eyes flickering toward the Blue.

"Of course," the Yellow agreed instantly and walked them to the nearest available room, letting them in and then shutting the door. He watched Haeden all but hover around the Aes Sedai until she was seated. Then Haeden looked at the door, like he was assessing that it was closed. Then he turned to Gareth, and told the story.

The White Tower grows brazen, Gareth thought darkly.

He moved his chair closer to Liaran. "I will help you," he said gently. "First, I must Delve you to find the extent of your injuries."

"Do you wish me to remain or leave?" Haeden interjected softly. Gareth looked at the Gaidin and then the Aes Sedai, for it was her choice.

[Alianora]

Liaran Sedai

Liaran trailed behind the two men, still finding it hard to walk after the long ride home. She was grateful that Haeden had thought to ask for privacy, as she didn't think she could have handled telling Gareth what had happened to her where just anyone could hear. As it was, Liaran was convinced that all the female channelers in the infirmary were staring at her, and did the best she could to hurry. When she finally reached the room, she lowered herself unsteadily into the offered chair.

She studied her hands while Haeden explained what had happened, angry with herself for needing him to do it. It couldn't have been easy for him either, and she would owe him for that, too, not that it mattered very much when she already owed the Gaidin her very life. Liaran couldn't bring herself to look at either man while Haeden talked. She was certain that she had hurt the Gaidin when she had told him what had happened, and she was afraid that the Asha'man would suffer similarly just from having heard it, especially since he would understand in a way that Haeden never could.

When Liaran finally allowed herself to look up, Gareth had moved beside her, asking permission to Delve her. She nodded to the Yellow, still not really wanting to speak. Then Haeden asked if he should stay, and she had no choice but to answer. "If you want to stay, you can," she told him. Liaran took a deep breath. Though she trusted Gareth, a small part of her was still terribly afraid he wouldn't be able to Heal her. She knew well what she would do if that happened, and it wasn't something she cared to think about.

[Bella]

Gareth saw that Haeden chose to remain, although he melted back a little into the shadows of the room. He was a large man to try to be so unimposing, but he managed reasonably well. After that moment, however, Gareth turned his attention back to his patient. From this moment on, his focus would be on her.

The Yellow seized Saidin and formed the Delving weave, settling it over the Blue so he could see all that ailed her...and there was none of that lacking. Anything he felt about that was not shown to her.

"I'm going to begin Healing now," he said.

Unlike many of the cases he attended to that a basic Healing weave suited, this would be far more complex. He formed the five elements together as he sought out the "gap" within her mind. This was not the first Stilling he had Healed, although it was still rare and he knew it to be delicate, intricate work.

One would probably never guess that a man so large could manage something so fine, but he could. He found the broken connections and poured his power into it, forming a bridge and bringing them back together. The world around him seemed to drown out in a soft droning sound with his concentration, as the minutes ticked by that he worked.

When he was done, it felt like the world swayed very slightly as it came back into focus. He let the Healing weave move through the rest of her body to Heal the rest of her open injuries, then let it dissipate.

"Gaidin," Gareth rumbled softly, "please fetch some water and something to eat."

The tall blond nodded and then slipped out of the room, while Gareth turned back to Liaran. "Can you touch the One Power now?" he asked gently.

[Alianora]

Liaran Sedai

Cold raced through Liaran's veins, and the Aes Sedai shivered. It spread from her head to her toes, touching every part of her body, and then it faded away. As the cold receded, Liaran slowly realized that nothing hurt anymore. After so many days of pain, the absence of it seemed strange to her. Liaran let herself sense saidar, but she was hesitant to reach out for it, still afraid that if she tried, she would find herself cut off from it. Only Gareth asking if she could touch it encouraged her to try. Liaran closed her eyes, resorting to picturing one of the novice exercises to attain the calm she needed. In her mind, she became the seashore, guiding the ocean, and as she concentrated, saidar poured into her.

It was as if she had been dead these many days and now found herself restored to life. Liaran did not want to let go, not ever again, but she knew she had to. Reluctantly, she released her hold on saidar. She looked up at Gareth and nodded slowly, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Thank you," Liaran whispered as she began to cry.

She buried her face in her hands, embarrassed to let herself be seen losing control. Aes Sedai were not supposed to do this, or at the very least, were expected to keep it behind closed doors. Liaran drew her legs up into the chair and rested her hands on her knees. She knew there was little chance that the Asha'man hadn't seen her begin crying, but at least this way she did not have to look at him. She didn't think she'd cried like this since she'd become Accepted. Even then, she'd managed to make it to her room before letting her emotions overcome her, but there was no chance of stopping herself now. It felt as though everything that had happened to her had overwhelmed her all at once. The Aes Sedai shook, continued to cry, and tried desperately to forget that she wasn't alone.

[Bella]

Gareth of course saw, but he also saw the way she turned into herself. She did not want him here to witness this, and so he was not going to be here. He would do nothing to cause further psychological damage. The door opened and Haeden began to step inside, but the Yellow held up a hand to forestall him.

Quietly he rose, taking the plate of food and cup of water from the Gaidin. These he set on the small table.

"Eat, Aes Sedai. Rest here for the night to be sure all is well. You will not be disturbed. But if you need anything, just call for me," he rumbled gently, then ushered Haeden out into the infirmary and gave Liaran the privacy she needed to process it all. He shut the door behind him and looked into the Gaidin's very concerned green eyes.

"Will she be alright?" Haeden asked quietly.

"In time, Haeden. In time."