Mama Bear [Attn: Alrim Farshera Gaidin]

[Bella]

Sadira met his eyes and she nodded. She smiled, but it was a sad expression. For a moment, she did not have the energy to mask the emotion there in and so the sorrow shone through.

"This has occurred to me, and to us," she assured him. "I am certain that my contact is not compromised, but he may be misled. To leave it, however, is not a risk that I feel I can take. The risk to investigate, I feel that I must. I have seen many people try stupid things when they have wished to remove me, or my mother.

"And the Tower is not so hard to kill in as you might think."

She paused and pressed her lips together, looking over the horizon. She did not turn back to him when she began again. "I am sure you have heard that my mother actually did die, long ago, and somehow has returned to us. She was killed in the basements of the Tower, and I was nearly slain along with her. They left me for dead, but I clung to life and was Healed."

Haeden looked at her with a flash of raw pain in his gaze and they shared the memory of sitting on that infirmary bed, holding one another against the misery and pain of their mother's death and his father's departure.

It was a lot to tell someone, but none of it was actually a secret; it was just old history. "So, maybe this is a trap, or maybe it is not. I plan to be cautious, but it cannot be ignored. I especially must handle it before it reaches my mother's ears, because she may be moved to act upon it herself and I will not have that now."

She debated the next bit of information, but chose to do so since it would hardly be unknown for long. "There is another reason," she went on with a faint, sidelong smile. "It is not widely known now but soon, she will not be able to hide it. Our mother is with child. So not along is it a state to protect her in, but it also means her channeling will day by day be more impaired.

"I will not have her act upon this, which means we must."

[Andy]

The way Sadira's mask seemed to collapse almost made Alrim wish he hadn't even asked his questions. He wanted to do his job and do it well, not just or him but for the pair of them and the Captain General, but he conceded that he might have not taken the emotive situation in hand when being so blunt. He sighed to himself and made a note to be a little more understanding. He was not as used to dealing with the emotions of others as he would like to admit to himself he knew. Usually the only issues he dealt with for others were the practical, or the jovial. "Well, it's good to know we're all of the same mind. At least we'll get attacked expecting it together" he said though there was not as much humour in the tone as he had hoped, this was going to be a hard journey he sensed. He nodded at the comments about the death and return of Miahala Sedai, everyone knew it though it was an odd tale in the least. He listened with a growing sense of both sadness and foreboding as the story was told, wondering if anywhere were safe for them. He had people he cared for, not to mention trainees that were like little siblings and more. If he could not make them safe in the Tower then there was no hope for them, it almost seemed. Still he had assumed it was an old legend, something whispered to show that the Grey Tower was immortal, that it would rise again if cut down. His eyebrows rose when he was told it was otherwise and he was silent for a few moments, deep in thought after the second revelation of the child, the scenery passing them by as he sorted through his thoughts. "I had always thought it a legend, growing as did the legend herself. I am sorry to hear that it is not but at least she is back...however it happened," he said thoughtfully, "I know what it is like to lose family, I will do my best to make sure you do not needlessly have to again. And I appreciate the trust of telling me about everything, including the future child. May it be blessed" he smiled slightly, at least it was not all bad news. Still...when we get back to the Tower I'm going to do something about this lack of safety. Someone should. Maybe have a word with the Drin and Ji, see if we can't get some contingencies. Personal ones of course. Can't do the whole Tower he told himself as he gazed outward once more and found little of note. "I am glad that I came, whatever happens. Better doing something worthwhile than not. And the cause is just," he stated simply, "though I think a holiday will be due after this," he grinned despite the circumstances, his usual self reasserting itself, "Haeden made mention of a camp? Is it a well known spot because they might be watching it if so"

[Bella]

Haeden was appreciative of his fellow Gaidin's understanding and acceptance of the situation. It was not a "clean" one. There was nothing cut and dry about what was happening or going to happen, aside from the love and loyalty of the woman's children. That was as black and white as could be. The rest...less so.

"No, it will not be well known," Haeden was the one to reply. "For such reasons, I may it a habit to not have campsites I return to. I survey the land of where I'm at and locate a suitable place at that time. If we are going to be watched, they're going to have to do it on the move." He would not rule that out, but it was...not exactly lush in this area. It would be hard to conceal such followers.

Meanwhile, he caught sight of a small smile his half-sister afforded the other Gaidin as she said, "If we are successful and return home living, I will arrange a holiday for you."

[Andy]

"I shall look forwards to it, though might I suggest less if in there when selling something" he returned with amusement in his voice and a carefully innocent look upon his face as he studied the surroundings perhaps overly much. He fully intended on all of them being alive, whole and healthy though probably looking worse for wear for the travel by the end. He felt reassured at Haeden's words about the camp site, the man knew what he was doing and if he said it was not going to be found he trusted that. He suited his words by increasing the pace slightly too, Alrim noticed, and matched it easily enough. They were far from pushing their mounts but it was easy to understand why the pair of them would want to finish this as soon as was possible. Still, eagerness can get you into trouble he reminded himself, despite his own desire to have matters resolved for good. It was a quiet enough ride for the next span of time, though how long he couldn't have told anyone. He was tempted to hum a tune but even he was not foolish enough to make noise when trying to travel quick and quiet. Perhaps later, he reasoned, when the dark came and the camp was made. Quietly of course, wouldn't want to keep anyone up. Then again perhaps they wouldn't even sleep. As time passed without incident he relaxed though and he began to hum quietly to himself without realising, a merry tune as was usual. "When was the last time you both visited Saldea?" he asked after a while, seeking to turn the subject to something slightly more pleasant as they travelled, perhaps to take their minds off of the mission at hand - if only for a time.

[Bella]

Although Sadira had not really expected to find trouble during the ride, she was still surprised on some level when things continued on without any. Happily so, though of course none of them were about to let their guard down. She appreciated Alrim's presence, though. He took their task seriously, but did not carry the shadow in his heart that Haeden and she did.

It was a necessary balance.

"It's been just over a year since I was here," Sadira said. "And that was visiting family, rather than any sort of business. "Haeden was with me, and I don't believe he's been here since then." She glanced at him for confirmation, to which he nodded and she turned back to Alrim. "It has only been a small number of weeks since I was to the Borderlands, though. Just last time was the Citadel.

"And you? Have you been to Saldaea before?"

[Andy]

He batted back the memories of the Citadel, it was not a happy place for him given the recent past. She was not to know though, not the gritty, dirty, details, and so he held nothing against her for mentioning it. Even so it was hard not to see the face, the bodies and the blood pooled upon the battlements. Truth be told it was at one and the same time one of the darkest and most proud moments of his life. He had held the line, had stopped a horde from killing Nate, had had his first shouting match with a channeler and on top of that they had won. It was a fanciful and silly idea but he liked to think things would have gone worse if he had not been there. He glanced at Haeden and did not say anything, he would know. Strange how you can be proud and sad at the same time he mused before throwing the thought out for later consideration. "I have never been, except now if we are in its territory. If so then so far it seems quite nice," he responded with as much cheerfulness as he could muster, "strange as it seems tensions seem to be more toward the south these days. Unless the Gaidin Captain has been selective" he shrugged, it was possible but seemed unlikely. "I haven't even returned to Arafel since shortly after my raising. The Citadel...I have been to. Not the best time, though I did run into some old friends. Soldiers mostly. I don't think they get enough credit. I was planning on returning at some point with some goods for them" "The Tower...forgets I think. Supplies are one thing but morale...well let's just say they don't get enough dice games and songs for my liking. I might return after this. Ulthwin will want to know what I've been up to and make stories from it no doubt" His skin crawled briefly, as if he were being watched, and his head snapped around here and there but found nothing he could see. He didn't raise the point as without evidence it was little but his own feeling. Their pace remained the same as the midday mark was met and left. It was a long journey but they were half done with it and that was something given it was without incident. "Feels strange really, to be out without a mandate. It's good. Even if the situation is not. I'd rather pick and choose my journeys than not. Feels...right"

[Bella]

Sadira could understand unpleasant memories of the Citadel, but it was not much to have an effect on her these days. She had lived too long for many things to touch upon her in that way. It had been a long, long time since she'd been in her first battle, first killed, first nearly been killed... Too long. All too long.

When his head snapped around, she took note, but said nothing. Neither did he, and Haeden did not speak up, so they continued on.

"To craft one's one destiny is right, and true, to a person, I think," she agreed when he spoke again. After a moment, she glanced over at him and asked, with no clue as to what drew out the question, "Do you foresee yourself in that role, then? The Gaidin who stands ready to aid all, or do you imagine that choice of journey to be the same even with an Aes Sedai or Asha'man to be bonded to?"

[Andy]

He considered the question as he scanned their surroundings once more, it was a good one to ask and one he had asked himself many times more. He was yet to have an answer, largely because it would not be entirely his decision, ultimately. He couldn't control anyone else, to make them want to make him their Gaidin. Though he had to admit he had not exactly chased after such a person either. Whenever he thought about it he had various choices telling him different things - Elia, Lysira and countless others. Mostly Gaidin, he would freely admit. What would be the right choice? he wondered as he glanced at Haeden, who was not Bonded either as far as he knew. Clearly he had a peace with it of his own. "I think it would not be entirely up to me. I do it now not because I have chosen to but because it is the way I can put my skills to use. It is better than doing nothing and I can only do so much by myself" he said, realising it was only a half-answer. Somehow it felt poor manners to leave it in the wind. "I suppose I have not chased a Bond as much as others. I figured, after being told a hundred different reasons to have one, that if it was meant to be it would be. One way or another. I suppose when I am old and grey I can tell you if it worked out in the end" "Either way, until such a time, I will do what I can. Perhaps I should meet more channellers. You can come too if you like Haeden, it'll be fun I promise" he chuckled.

[Bella]

"It is true that bonds, at least the good ones, are a joint venture," Sadira agreed with a small, but almost wistful smile. "I've only had one warder, Scerai. He was a good man, and a good warder." A dear love. "Our bond started with him. He found me training with my sword in the Yards and corrected my form. I argued. He argued. We were rather inseparable after that." She chuckled.

Before she was lost too deep in her reverie, Haeden leaned forward to look briefly at Alrim with a small smirk. "And where do you plan to meet these channelers?" he asked with amusement as he leaned back and continued surveying the space around them. "They aren't always that easy to find."

Sadira looked at her brother wryly. "It's not like we're in hiding."

[Andy]

"Arguments often bring stronger impressions than agreement. It is easier to agree than to disagree," he mused aloud, "still...a brave man then, this Scerai. I would have liked to have met him" He had to laugh at the words, they were so aptly said and mischievously accusative that there was no way for him to hide from the self-evident truth. Even if he were amusingly foolish for having ignored it. It was true that he could meet channeller whenever he so desired but it was only a half-truth. He did not want to settle for a decent person with decent qualities for such a commitment. He wanted someone he actually liked and got on with and who wanted to achieve things he wanted himself. Still remnants of his self-condemnation existed deep inside. I didn't think myself good enough for such a thing perhaps he told himself ruefully, knowing he had not done enough to root out his own dissident voice and wondering, briefly, if it would ever truly vanish. "Taverns bring out the characters of all but you are right. Perhaps I have been the one who was hard to find," he shook his head, "in that regard anyway" he conceded with an attempt to ignore the slight burning upon his cheeks, "then again I wouldn't want just anyone. I suppose I could make myself more presentable when we return. More visible at least" He thought upon what Sadira had said about Scerai, about how it had began with such a small thing. A simple thing. It gave him some hope that his own philosophy was the right one, that something that meaningful should grow naturally rather than forced. As time passed he found himself thinking less and less about Elia's words and more about his own. Business was business, and duty was duty, but he could do business with anyone and duty was a chain hard to bear without reason. It felt too material. Lives weren't like money, they had to mean something. "I do recall, though, talk about getting wrapped up in work. Perhaps the good ones have just been busy" he noted as he returned his gaze to their surroundings. The day was going faster than he had thought it might, good conversation mixed with good fortune had assured that time had not stalled and been dragged into a rut. It was not yet full into the evening but he wagered it would be getting there quicker than expected. Still he left such decisions as camp up to them. He was lost in his own thoughts for a time.