Citadel Dreams of Green [attn: Craig/Z and Bella/Lys]

[Bella]

A small, amused smile curved Lysira's mouth. For several moments, she turned her dark eyes ahead of her and looked everywhere. This was done frequently, of course, keeping track of everything and nothing. It was the job of a Gaidin, after all, to keep her charges safe, and situational awareness was of paramount importance.

'I enjoy working with the Green, yes,' she answered honestly, turning back to Zarayne for a moment. 'There is a great amount of pragmatism, for the Greens are among the Ajahs that need protection most. I do, however, have an affection for the Green. Several members of near-family for me belong to it.'

The next question caught her off-guard, but only for a moment. It wasn't an unreasonable question for an experienced Gaidin. She surveyed the area again.

'I was,' she signed, schooling impassivity onto her face to hide the pain of this loss. 'It is possible for a bond to be dissolved, for things to...not work out. That's what happened to me. My Asha'man is now off...somewhere else, and I am here.' She neglected to mention the husband, father of her child, part. That wasn't relevant.

[Craig]

Zarayne

Zarayne took in the information without any immediate comment. She knew about the process of bonding, and the benefits it transferred to bonder and bondee. Her lessons had also included the dangers of the bond, as well as the fact that a bond could be dissolved under certain circumstances. 'For things to not work out' seemed far below the bar that Zarayne expected. It was possible, of course, that Lysira did not wish to go into detail about what occurred between her Asha'man, thus palming it off as 'not working out'.

Her head couldn't help but to imagine a variety of situations that would have led Lysira's bondmate to dissolve their bond. Wisely, Zarayne held her tongue. Or my hands. Her time with Lysira had redressed her issue of fidgeting with her fingers and signing accidentally. There were no more embarrassing outbursts springing forth directly from Zarayne's subconscious.

'I'm sorry,' she signed. That seemed like the least she should do. Now her mind played with pairing Lysira off with various Asha'man. It was a struggle to come up with many credible couplings for the Gaidin.

Zarayne looked towards Marwen and Tia Sedai at the front. Tia was one of those members of Lysira's near-family if she had it right. Picturing the young Saldaean with Lysira by her side wasn't challenging. 'Would it not be better to be bonded to someone like Tia Sedai?' she inquired. 'She is family and a Green sister. And the two of you seem comfortable together.'

If she was overstepping any marks, Zarayne was personally unaware of it. She was her father's daughter after all.

[Bella]

Although the bluntness of it surprised Lysira slightly, it was just that: slightly. She had now been around Zarayne enough to know that it was simply her personality. And there was something refreshing in the almost innocent bluntness, so Lysira did not take offense. She simply listened and replied where she felt comfortable to do so.

'Tia is almost like a sister to me,' Lysira signed thoughtfully, her eyes scouring the horizons as she paused. 'She has never asked, nor have I ever suggested. I would serve as her Gaidin if she wished, however something has always seemed...odd about being bonded to one who is nearly kin.'

Of course, her last bond had also been a husband. Her only bond. Perhaps that colored her impressions, but she wasn't about to say it out loud.

[Roan]

Tia Sedai

Marwen looked over his shoulder to Lys and Zarayne before glancing back to Tia, “Do you think it wise to bring an Accepted out with us? I mean no disrespect, but we don’t full well know what we are riding into.”

Tia looked to the commander and offered a small smile, “We have Lysira Gaidin with us, who is a master of the bow. We have you and your sword, and then I am of the Green like my kin you know so well. If I had to wager, I would say Lys will keep a close watch on Zarayne, and between all of us, I imagine she will be more than safe.

“The idea is to scout the situation, not launch an attack. Besides, the only way for someone to gain experience in fighting the Shadow is by fighting the Shadow,” Tia finished.

The commander nodded ever so slightly, “I can see your point, and truth be told, I’ve done the same with my own militia.”

Tia flashed a warm smile, “I’ll also add being an Accepted of the Tower is nothing to sneeze at. She may not have my experience, but she will be able to hold her own. I’ve worked with her in the past, and she is already a skilled channeler.”

[Bella]

They rode on for a while longer, continuing conversations but never letting their guard drop from watching their surroundings. There was nowhere in existence that was "safe," not even the Tower itself, but the lands that bordered upon the Blight were even more dangerous than many other areas. One could just never know what might pop out from any shadow.

When the first lines of grey began to rise from the horizon to meet those descending from the sky, Lysira suggested the group stop and camp for the night. No one would continue riding through the night here if they had the option otherwise.

The diminutive Gaidin scouted ahead to find a good place to camp and then they rode onto it. Marwen was an old hand at missions such as this, though it had been some while since he'd been on one, and Lysira was skilled at it herself. Camp was arranged in no time and they made a small fire--enough to make their dinner and ward off some chill, but not to draw too much attention.

'How long from here until the Redoubt?' Lysira signed while they had the fire bright enough to see her hands by.

"If we leave at first light, I would say we will be within scouting range well before mid-morning," Marwen answered, holding his calloused hands out closer to the flame to warm them. The chill was not yet too bad, but it was best to absorb as much warmth as one could. "We will want to approach as best we can from the western side. It will give the most cover but also a hill to view from."

Lysira nodded thoughtfully. The high ground was always best, but cover was crucial for a good scouting mission. She knew she could do well on her own, and would as needed. Silence, she excelled at. She would make sure that Zarayne was not left unattended, however. Lys's mind was already planning ahead.

[Roan]

Tia Sedai

Tia was not nearly as well versed in setting up camp as her mother or Lysira might be, though she wanted to contribute instead of letting others do the bulk of the work. She helped with the fire, using her channeling abilities to get the fire started. Once it was warm enough, someone saw to dinner. While dinner was being cooked, the Aes Sedai turned her attention to other matters.

The party were not in the Blight proper, else Tia wouldn’t dare draw on the Source to help with the fire, or anything else, for that matter. Stepping away from the fire while it was still somewhat light out, the Green Sister examined their camp spot. After a moment or two, she embraced Saidar and used threads of Air, Fire, Spirit and Water to create a Ward of Warning that she let fall over the camp and some distance beyond. The diameter of the ward was big enough to give the party enough time to react if someone crossed the ward’s threshold. Once satisfied with the Weave, Tia tied it off, confident it would hold until morning.

Looking to the small fire, she doubted it would do much to keep the night chill from seeping into their bones as they sat or slept through the night. Still holding on to the Source, she created another Ward to insulate their camp area so that they wouldn’t get too chilled as they slept. Perhaps it was a luxury they didn’t need, but why suffer if you didn’t have to?

While she was doing that, Tia listened as Marwen explained they should approach from the western side of the redoubt to give them more cover, along with high ground. Moving back to the campfire, Tia came alongside Lys, “By mid-day the sun should be high enough it won’t be in our eyes, which would be beneficial. Hopefully, the hill affords us enough of a view to get an idea of what’s what, and we can get in and out quietly and quickly.”

The Green Sister moved closer to the fire to check on dinner, and looked over to the Accepted?, “How are you holding up, Zarayne? What do you think of your first mission outside of the Tower and Citadel?”

Spoiler: show

Lemme know if I need to alter anything here. . .

[Craig]

Zarayne

Zarayne didn't mind taking on the role of chef. She'd been hunting and cooking hares and rabbits since she was waist-high. It was a practise that had only stopped due to her time as a gai'shain, then again when she got to the Grey Tower. The Mistress of the Kitchens did not approve of the learning ranks doing anything more complex than peeling potatoes; that was the closest she'd been to making food for a long time.

The setting was fitting. Back in the snows that she'd grown up surrounded by, Zarayne was working on something a bit more complex than fatty cuts of pemmican. They had salted meat and vegetables, plus plenty of the essentials. It didn't take much effort to convert flour and butter into a shortcrust pastry base. Rabbit, carrots and mushrooms would make for a fine filling.

She was tending to the cooking when Tia Sedai approached. Zarayne's mind was wondering, green eyes vacantly watching the flickering campfire. Her sleeves were pushed up to her elbows and remnants of flour dust coated the exposed, pebbled skin. Faces from her past flitted through her thoughts. Nisura and Ren had been her childhood friends, her 'spear-sisters'. I wonder what they're doing now?

Curiosity faded away when Zarayne was addressed. She looked up, blinking away the purplish afterimage of the flames. "Tia Sedai, I..." The Aielwoman paused to consider, then smiled. "It's good. I'm good. I forgot how much I missed the snow." She tried to look out towards the endless expanse of white, but the night's shadows were too dark.

There was something niggling at the Accepted's mind. It had been a splinter in her thoughts when they first returned to Shienar. Now it was so distracting that Zarayne just had to ask.

"When Vanya Sedai said "you are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world", does that mean I should stop missing the snow? Or the sand?" She frowned at the puzzle. "Am I no longer to be thought of as Aiel? Are we all just... servants of the Grey Tower now?" That was where her life was leading to. Aes Sedai. Servant of all.

With nowhere but the Tower to call home?

[Roan]

Tia Sedai

Taking a seat next to Zarayne, Tia offered the Accepted a warm smile, “I always found a sense of tranquility when it snowed. There is also nothing better than being snuggled deep into warm blankets on a cold winter’s night.” Not that Tia was a fan of being cold, but then who was?

The Aes Sedai tilted her head as she contemplated Zarayne’s question about what happened at the end of her Raisint test. “While we are channelers, we are also human. The Raising Ceremony represents a transition for us, one where we move away from our old life and take one step closer to what we’re to become.

“I don’t think you can turn your back completely on your old life, but I do think the idea is you shouldn’t dwell. The path you’ve already traveled has helped form you into the person you are today, and I personally think you’d do yourself a disservice to ignore your past wholly and completely. Vanya Sedai might disagree, though,” Tia explaind with a small, wry smile.

Reaching her hands out to warm them over the fire, Tia continued, “We are servants of the Grey Tower, but we are also human. Our history is a huge part of who we are. I could not just ignore my past, even if I wanted given the extent of my family at the Tower. Why do you ask?”

[Craig]

Zarayne

Zarayne found herself splitting her attention between cooking and paying attention to Tia, but she held the Saldaean's gaze for as long as she was able. There were very few people in the Tower than Zarayne felt she could trust to be honest but Tia Sedai counted amongst that small number.

The Accepted sighed softly, considering how best to approach answering the Green sister's question. "I don't feel very accepted." She sat back on her heels, taking hold of her Great Serpent ring. "I don't feel like I belong in the Tower. Not because I can't learn, but... I'm a sword amongst many spears. I may be sharp, but I'm not the same. I don't fit."

Now Zarayne was avoiding Tia's gaze, uncertain she wanted to see what the Green sister thought of that statement. Vanya Sedai would have readily seen an incitement to rebellion in that and set Zarayne on a penance just for such language. She didn't think Tia was anywhere near that bad, but her opposition could just hurt more.

"I'm a daughter of the sand who's never seen my home. I was raised in the snow, but now I'm in a place that never sees a true winter. Now I serve the Grey Tower instead of aiding those who took me and my mother in when we had nothing. I'm shifting from one life to another, never fully a part of where I find myself."

Zarayne rubbed her hands over the fire, aware of all of the odd leather that protected her. "I look like how I feel: out of place." Finally Zarayne relented and turned back to face Tia. "Is this normal, or am... am I a problem?"

[Roan]

Tia Sedai

“You are not a problem, Zarayne,” Tia said with certainty. She offered the younger woman a warm smile as she considered how to frame the rest of her reply, “Despite my heritage, I will fully admit that I felt completely out of place when I was in Novice Whites or even the banded dress. Light, I still don’t feel as if I belong. I shun dresses. I don’t play the Game, and I have yet to master the Aes Sedai facade. I may never master the facade.” She offered a wry, but warm smile.

Tia didn’t often reflect on her time as a Novice or Accepted, but she found it hard not to, given Zarayne’s self doubts. “I think most who go through the learning ranks go through similar self-reflection as you. It is as much part of the journey on your way to the Shawl as the Raising test.”

She offered Zarayne a sincere smile, “What I have seen of you. . .I know you may feel out of place, but your skill suggests to me you are very much where you belong. I think if I can make my place in the Tower, I don’t see why you can’t.”