Far From Home (Solo/Fanfic)

[Jenn]

((Continued on from A Gilded Cage.))
Aikaterine Riatin

The first time it had happened, she had been in the kitchens, stirring soup. The bond had abruptly stretched, immediately dimming and dwindling with untold distance. She hadn't been awake the second time, sleep guarding her from that soul wrenching moment when Dax had been forced to step through to the Citadel. When she had woken, the bond was once again muffled and subdued, a dull echo of what it should have been.

Katrie twisted her head to stare at the Gateway behind her in silent horror, knowing what was about to happen, knowing that there was nothing she could do to keep it from happening. The farm. She was at the farm. Despair crashed over her in debilitating waves, her stomach heaving and churning.

From the other side of that gateway, the Tairen filled the bond with gold. It thrummed and pulsed even though his guilt and anguish made her want to curl into a ball and sob. No. She couldn't let that be the last thing that she truly felt from him... She swallowed hard, focusing the entirety of her being on the light and warmth, letting it wash over and through her, letting it soothe and comfort her. Her touch against his mind was gentle and deliberate, and his relief ached more than anything else she had felt from him. He loved her... he loved her.

Dax.

The awe and wonder that shattered through her left her wrecked and humbled in its wake. She clung on to him, her vision blurring. Salt and moisture stained her lashes. She bit down on the inside of her cheek. A sharp flare of pain. She tasted blood. Her thoughts descended into pure gibberish as the Gateway rotated shut. Stretching. Dimming. Dwindling. The presence of her Warder, her lover, her husband faded, and the awareness that should have stayed intertwined with hers was yanked cruelly away.

Dax!!

She scrambled for him, the corner of her mind where he still inhabited nothing more than a muted twinge. He was... she squeezed her eyes shut, turning slowly in place as she tried to pinpoint which direction Dax was. North? Or was it South? Her Warder was to the left of her now, but if she turned around, then he was to the right. Light! She didn't know... she could face towards exactly where she felt him, but... she had no idea where she was.

Dax...

Her heart suddenly began pounding against her ribcage, and grey closed in from the very edges of her vision. Katrie struggled to breathe. She did not protest as a matronly Aes Sedai came out to greet her, indicating that she was to follow behind. The was woman brusque and taciturn, but there was no overt disapproval, something which the tall Cairhienin was grateful for. She didn't care what the woman thought of her, so long as it didn't show on the ageless face. A tear slipped down her cheek. A second one. And then a third. After the fifth one, she stopped counting.

----

Three days in and the pretty Cairhienin was positive that it was only a matter of time before the loneliness and the silence drove her mad. It was a coin's toss as to which one would send her over the brink first.

She had already explored every possible inch of the farm, had poked around in every nook and cranny, had even found an abandoned storeroom type room along the basement path that had been blocked by a partial cave in. She had pulled weed after weed after weed, until her fingers ached and her hands cramped. She ate when she was told to, she helped where she was pointed to - if she knew how to - and all the while, she held on to the barely there presence of the man she loved in the corner of her mind.

There was nothing new to see! Nothing new to find! There... wasn't even anyone to talk to. No one spoke here! Everyone - those here by choice anyway - were content to go about their chores and duties in contented silence. The few like her were forbidden from interacting with one another. She was not allowed to use saidar; even those Aes Sedai and Asha'man here rarely used the Power, happy to stick their fingers in the soil, happy to streak and smear themselves with dirt and mud and stains and only Light knew what else.

Katrie paced within the narrow confines of her room, agitated and unsettled, the gloom that filtered in from the bubbled window showing that dawn was still several hours away. She had grown accustomed to having Dax nearby, her constant companion, his physical presence both reassuring and comforting. He... made her feel safe. Had made her feel safe. He wasn't here now and... oh. She crammed her knuckles into her mouth to keep from crying again, the feel of teeth breaking the first layer of skin along her fingers bringing with it some measure of self control.

Her eyes felt gritty and swollen; her body was so tired she ached. But when she tried to lay down and rest, her mind spun and raced out of control. She tossed and turned, every night a battle against herself and her memories. It was almost unbearable to lay down by herself, whatever sleep she did manage to get, fitful and sporadic.

A knock came at her door, startling her out of her private misery. She crossed the room on silent feet, peering out as she eased open the wooden panel. Katrie failed to suppress the gasp that sounded. Even without the winking gold jewels and gems... the perfectly serene ageless face, the chestnut hair piled high atop her head... The Yellow. That woman. That Trolloc-faced harpy. An oath that would have made Dax proud flitted through her head.

"Liza Sedai," she bobbed into a quick curtsey.

"Accepted Aikaterine." Liza's look should have incinerated the tall Cairhienin to ash. "You should rest, child. You look like you need it."

"Then I'd appreciate it if you didn't knock so early, next time." Katrie bowed her head a little, before curtseying again. "I thank you for coming to see me though. Your concern is very much appreciated."

The pastel lips quirked up into a smile that held no trace of warmth and the woman glided away.

The door couldn't shut fast enough. The Accepted spun around, closing her eyes. Light! She dropped her face into her hands, her breathing ragged.

[Jenn]

Katrie

Katrie shivered as she rubbed at her arms, cold despite the mid-morning sun that beat down on the crown of her head. Her pace was brusque as she tried to leave behind the fragmented nightmare of insect clad al'Naras, chasing her... Segmented mandibles chittered and laughed as she was tossed up into the air... unable to do anything except tumble down... down...

She shook her head abruptly, her feet taking her along the outermost boundary of the farm. Ducking behind the nearest tree, she promptly sat down, sagging back against the rough trunk. She touched the finger bereft of her ring, her bottom lip quavering slightly before she pulled her thoughts straight, inhaling deeply.

Warm brown eyes stared out over the rolling fields dotted with trees much like the one she was leaning against. Her fingers absently explored the immediate area around her, curiosity rushing to the fore as sensitive fingertips snagged on something that did not feel like grass, dirt, or roots. The surface was... smooth. Textured. Slightly springy. The memory of restless dreams were pushed aside as she began digging free whatever it was that was lodged between packed soil and gnarled bark.

A quarter of an hour passed before she was able to extricate it, the lump of golden brown nestled in her palm reminding her of rock candy. Katrie held it up... fascinated. It was... translucent, with small striation patterns... the world bathed in a golden glow as she looked through it. It did not feel like any gemstone she had ever encountered, lighter, and somehow feeling almost... soft. It actually reminded her of tree resin... but... hardened. She glanced upwards, wondering where it had come from. Was there more?

She pocketed the golden brown lump. The tall Accepted pushed herself to her feet, gaze sweeping over anything and everything at once.

[Jenn]

Katrie

She stared at the stables, at a complete loss as to what to do. Katrie gave the patient stablehand an uncertain look and the middle aged woman gave a kindly smile and flapped her hands towards the horses, as if trying to shoo the reluctant Accepted forward.

What if she chose the wrong horse?

The animals had looked so benign and appealing from outside, but now that she was mere paces away... she was starting to think that this was not such a good idea. Inwardly panicking, Katrie nearly backed out of the stables, willing to take whatever additional penance that would come. She desperately wanted Dax.

Her wild expression must have caught one of the nearby Gaidin’s attention for the Warder - not hers - was there next to her before she could turn on her heel and bolt. Grizzled. Grey topknot. Sable orbs widened. Shienaran!

"Do your ears get cold?" she blurted out without thinking. The pretty Cairhienin flushed beet red as she realized what she had asked. "I... didn't mean to say that out loud." She made a helpless little gesture with her hands. "It's just... I've always wondered, with the topknot and all." Light, just stop talking, you're making it worse!

Mercifully, the Gaidin simply watched her with still, meditative eyes. He nodded once at her. "It gets hot in the Blight. Keeping our ears cool is important."

She gasped, not having expected him to answer. The whites of her eyes were visible and though short-lived, her smile of utter delight was genuine. "I knew it!"

He laughed then, the stony lines of his face softening a little with amusement.

Katrie wilted again as she looked past him to the stables again. Light, but the horses could kill her! At his gentle reassurance that she wasn’t going to die if she was careful, Katrie found herself hovering and hesitant, armed with no less than ten sugar cubes, in front of the smallest mare in the stables. The name plaque read “Sunflower”, likely due to the horse’s distinctive gold colouring.

How droll.

Horse and woman eyed one another as Katrie took several steps forward. Of course, the stablehand had neglected to tell her that ‘smallest’ was relative; while Sunflower was the smallest mare compared to the others, the horse still possessed enough muscle and weight to simply run Katrie over. A shaky breath. Respect, not fear. She took another breath. She had to be firm... confident... or else the horse wouldn’t listen to her. She wiped her palms against the white sack hemmed with bands of colour. Dax had always been with her when she had to tend to her own horse. She had never done this on her own before.

“Hello... Sunflower...” Ignoring the fact that she was pursing her lips at a horse, Katrie was heartened by the way the mare’s ears flicked forward. Recognizing her name would make things simpler... right? Cautiously, she took several more steps into the stall proper, letting her eyes adjust to the dim interior. Fishing out a sugar cube, she place it on her palm and offered the treat up to the horse, careful to keep her hand flat so she wouldn’t lose any fingers. She couldn’t quite suppress the giggle that escaped as Sunflower’s lips scrabbled over her palm in search for every single last bit of the sweet morsel.

“There,” she cooed, her other hand going to stroke the velvety smooth nose. Katrie was not above bribing the mare into liking her. “If you’re not difficult, you’ll get a lot more of that.” Sunflower leaned into the touch. The mare, it seemed, was perfectly content to be bribed by the Accepted.

She muttered something and then held her breath. Her gestures were stiff and awkward as she tried to get the lead rope around Sunflower’s neck, the mare keeping blessedly still for the most part. Every so often the large head swung in Katrie’s direction, the mare no doubt curious. The pretty Cairhienin fancied that she could hear Sunflower’s thoughts, if horses could indeed think as humans did: who is this girl and why am I being subjected to her clumsy ministrations? It was a thought that she shared.

She huffed as she finally secured the lead rope and slender hands went to stroke at the soft, velvet nose again. “I’m sorry girl,” she murmured, “I’m pretty bad at this.” Liquid brown eyes did not judge as the mare simply nudged the pocket where the sugar cubes were with a slight thrust of her head. Katrie laughed, handing the horse another treat.

Slowly, having no wish to startle or spook Sunflower, the halter came next. The horse was unfazed, Katrie cooing softly as she led them out of the stall. It was a simple matter to secure the mare once they were out in the aisle, Sunflower’s affability playing no small part in the dark-haired Accepted’s growing confidence. She handed Sunflower another sugar cube.

Mucking stalls. It was not something she wanted to do, but she knew what had to be done and how to go about doing it so she didn’t smear or stain the whites of her skirts. Tucking the thick plait of dark hair into the neckline of her Accepted dress, Katrie picked out a manure rake and re-entered Sunflower’s stall. As she set herself to the task, she was suddenly, infinitely glad that the mare was small. The wheelbarrow only filled twice, the trip to the back of the stables easy to navigate thanks to the sheer number of feet that had pressed out a well worn path. Her shoulders and arms ached, but she did not feel particularly put out.

She let her thoughts drift to Dax, remembering the ruins of the cottage. She hadn't practiced in weeks. Weeks? Light! Dax... Her chest hurt.

Only slightly worse for wear, Katrie greeted Sunflower again, very mindful of approaching the animal from the side. The sweet-tempered mare whuffed as a large, brown eye caught sight of the disheveled Accepted. “Did you miss me?” Katrie cooed as she stroked the soft nose. A bubble of laughter came again as Sunflower nudged at her side. “You just missed the sugar cubes!” But that was exclaimed without any real heat. At least the mare was honest. Another sweet treat and Katrie bit down on her bottom lip for a moment as she considered the best way to go about brushing Sunflower. Things had been going so well, she had no desire to ruin everything by getting kicked. The mane and tail first...?

Squaring her shoulders, she soon found that brushing horse hair was much like working the knots out of human hair. Pull too hard and the animal would let you know in clear, concise terms what they thought of it. Sunflower stamped her hooves down several times. Katrie could only apologize quickly, heart in her throat, but the mare did not seem inclined to send the tall Cairhienin flying over into the next stall.

“Just a little more and you’ll get all the sugar cubes you want.” She cooed and murmured to the mare, not really caring if anyone else heard. Working the bristles in long, smooth strokes against the golden coat was something the mare much preferred, at one point leaning so heavily into the brush as Katrie worked along the neck and behind the pointed ears, that they both were in danger of toppling over.

Mercifully, Sunflower seemed prepared for the final bit of work that had Katrie’s insides clenching with apprehension. Firm, confident...

“Please, please don’t kick me. Or trample me. Or bite me.” Bracing herself inwardly and fully prepared to loose an ear-splitting shriek at the first sign of trouble, Katrie began the attempt to clean out Sunflower’s hooves. The slightest touch against each of the knobby knees had the mare lifting her leg to assist. The Accepted offered her eternal thanks to whomever it was who was the owner and trainer of this sweet mare. As she finished, she was not surprised to find that her hands were trembling. Sunflower turned liquid brown eyes to her, expectant. A shaky laugh and the remainder of the sugar cubes were devoured by the clean, content mare.

[Jenn]

Katrie

Katrie's hands were dirt smeared, and her fingers smelled funny.

Two baskets sat by her feet. One was half full of mangled potato flesh, the majority of the pieces no larger than her finger, having been hacked apart with inelegant skill. The other basket was overflowing with potato skins that had the majority of the flesh still attached, carved up by the same hands, the same inelegant skill.

Sable orbs studied the baskets with almost a sullen delight, the pretty Cairhienin feeling no small amount of vindication as she looked up into the incredulous eyes of the matronly Aes Sedai that had come to greet her that first day. The woman who was truly in charge - as far as Katrie could tell - of the farm.

"It is as I said, Naera Sedai," the Accepted explained in a voice as placid as milk. "I don't know how to do this. And I'm sorry that I ruined them... but Liza Sedai insisted that I had to."

"Light, child!" The eyes were as steely as the grey hair bound in a no nonsense bun, her look dismissive of the potatoes as... genuine concern?... passed over the ageless face. "You could have sliced off your own finger."

The pretty Cairhienin shrugged a little, spreading her hands out in front of her. "She said if I refused, she would find me worse things to do."

The stillness and the silence from the other Aes Sedai was like a soothing balm and the tall Cairhienin felt her chin lift slightly. "Come, child. I will show you how to peel potatoes so you do not accidentally peel yourself as well." A curious frown. "Is there anything else you struggle with?"

A faint smile came to Katrie's face at the older woman's tact. "You don't have to try and spare my feelings, Aes Sedai. I don't know how to do a lot of things... especially here. I think the better question is to ask what I do know how to do." A rueful look. "I know how to pull weeds."

Naera Sedai actually chuckled. "You pull more than just the weeds, child, but we shall teach you."

----

Darning socks. Mending cloaks. Re-hemming trousers and skirts. Reattaching laces and sewing back on buttons.

Gently rolling orbs of saidar illuminated the room they were in, the Power wrought lights giving far more light to see by than mere candlelight. Warm brown eyes glanced over to the assorted pile of cloth and garments, stretching her neck out from side to side as she tried to work out a kink in her shoulder.

Dax knew how to do all this. Of course he did. He had known so much more than she had. She had seen him care for his own clothing... and occasionally hers... but she had not once thought to ask him to show her how. Katrie pulled in a soundless breath, suddenly overwhelmed with memories. The fierce, longing ache was like a fist clenching around her heart and it was all she could do to keep breathing. He was alive and somewhere off to her left. She knew that much. She pressed as tightly as she could against the place in her mind where he was.

The soft sound of Naera Sedai clearing her throat brought the pretty Cairhienin's focus outwards again and Katrie started guiltily.

They worked in silence, the Accepted losing track of how many times she jabbed her fingertips, lips and tongue going to soothe the abrupt sting. She had long since stopped trying to keep the muffled oaths from reaching Naera Sedai's ears.

"The young man you were just thinking of... who is he?" The Aes Sedai's voice cut through the quiet, Katrie jumping in surprise.

The Accepted cursed again as the needle stabbed into the tip of her finger, her eyes lifting to meet the Aes Sedai's steely ones. The fingertip in her mouth kept her from having to answer immediately, but she knew that it would be pointless to lie to Naera. She did anyway. "I wasn't thinking about anyone. I was thinking of how sewing and darning were a little like weaving with the Power."

An eyebrow arched up. "Yes, because mending clothes makes your cheeks redden, your lips part slightly, and your eyes soften."

Katrie had the grace to look abashed, completely caught in her lie. "I - it's no one you need to be concerned about, Aes Sedai," she answered finally, honestly.

"I am not concerned. I am, however, curious."

"I... don't understand..."

Naera set down the shirt she was working on, amusement showing openly on the ageless face. "Oh child, you are not as subtle as you think you are. You have not once tried to escape. You haven't tried to touch saidar. You have never once complained, you have never once railed against your being here as unjust and unwarranted. That makes me think that there are two possibilities. The first: that you are resigned to your fate, which anyone watching you when you think no one is looking, knows you are not." An amused chuckle. "The second, and the one I think far more likely, is that you are doing your utmost to behave so that you can return as quickly as possible to the Tower. To... your young man."

Katrie's expression was wary as she studied the matronly Aes Sedai. Long moments of poignant silence stretched out between them before she grinned mischievously. "How do you know it's a young man and not a young woman?"

Naera shook her head, exasperated, before the perfect serenity returned to the ageless face.

----

"No." She said that with a calm she did not feel.

The diminutive form of Liza blocked her path. After weeks of successfully evading her, the Aes Sedai had finally cornered the Accepted. They were alone, for the moment. "You will."

"I'm not permitted to use saidar. Naera Sedai was very clear on that." Katrie stood at her full height, head high, shoulders back. Her heart thrummed rapidly in her chest and her hands had gone clammy. She wanted Dax.

The Yellow leaned in, as if enjoying the tall Cairhienin's discomfort. "You should think on that before you answer so hastily, Accepted Aikaterine. The consequences may be very unpleasant for you."

There was no hesitation. "The answer is still no, Aes Sedai."

The blue eyes flashed for a moment, so unlike Dax's. The chill in the Yellow's eyes was cruel and hard. "So be it."

----

Itch powder in her dresses, her skin marred with rashes and small blisters and welts.

Burrs hidden in her slippers, leaving behind long spines between her toes and embedded in the arches of her feet she had to pick out on her own.

Spiders hidden away beneath her bedsheets and blankets, small bites that stood out in angry red bumps against her flesh.

Katrie had borne it silently, enduring all of it without complaint. A Novice could have done better than all the things the wretched woman was doing. She didn't have time to entertain the Yellow's temper tantrum. She had to get back to Dax. The Accepted did not touch saidar. She did not channel. She avoided Liza when she could, and kept her mind focused on the Tairen when she couldn't.

As she sat in her bed, staring down at what awaited her, the horror that filled her chest stole away her ability to speak. Her mind felt groggy, sluggish... and it felt as if there was a pocket of air trapped between her brain and her skull. No... With shaking hands, she tentatively went to touch the shorn tresses of hair that remained on the hard pillow, limp and lifeless. She gasped for breath, her hands flying up to touch the sides of her head. Probing fingers found uneven ends that hovered just below her ears. A wordless cry escaped her lips, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Some small, detached part of her felt the exact moment her temper frayed and snapped. She shoved herself up off the bed, flying out of the room still clad in nothing but her shift. Bare feet slapped against the floorboards, Katrie burning from the inside out as her rage shot out to consume her. Brown eyes were wild and crazed and she tore through the building as she sought the reason for her fury, the Yellow that was her tormentor.

-

The tall Cairhienin had long since stopped moving, curled in on herself as her arms and her legs protected her belly and chest from the worst of Liza's beating. The switches of Air rain downed on her with bruising force, Katrie gritting her teeth to keep from crying out, her hair falling across her face. She would not give that horrid woman the satisfaction.

Light, what have I done?

She could sense the glow around the other woman and it made her twitch. But... she could not. Katrie didn't reach for saidar even though she knew exactly how to make the other woman stop. What she wanted to do... would only make it worse for herself. So much worse. She had already confronted an Aes Sedai, out in the open. And not just any Aes Sedai - Liza flaming Sedai! Katrie had given the harpy exactly what the woman had wanted.

"Enough."

Naera!

The pretty Cairhienin heard the voice, but the blows kept coming. She sensed a second glow, and a muffled noise of surprise. The Air switches stopped. Katrie could hear her breaths, rapid and uneven, echo back to her. Silence reigned.

"Have you lost your mind, Sister?" The voice was composed, level, but the meaning was unmistakable. "You may do as you like within the halls of the Grey Tower, but this is not how things are handled here."

"This Accepted tried to -" Liza's voice abruptly stopped.

"I know what she did." The matronly Aes Sedai did not raise her voice. She didn't have to. "I know what she has done. More to the point, I also know what you did. And what you have done." Katrie dared to lower her arms, peeking out from the messy mask of her hair that had settled over her face. Naera held the Power. Liza did not. Naera beckoned to someone beyond Katrie's field of vision. "Iseph, stay with her. See to it she is Healed."

Without another word, Naera left, Liza following.

A Gaidin practically materialized next to her. Grizzled. Grey topknot. Sable orbs widened. The Shienaran from the stables. "You're Naera Sedai's Warder?"

The stone-faced visage softened a touch. "Aye." Weathered callused hands picked her up off the ground as if she weighed nothing, settling her onto her feet. "Let's get you fixed up." He made a gesture at her head. "Afraid there's not much we can do about that."

The only thing she could do was nod mutely.

[Jenn]

Katrie

She peeled potatoes, pulled up actual weeds, mended clothing, and darned socks. She helped cook, she dug around in the dirt like the others, she moved stones away from the field, she gathered firewood, and she spun wool. She mucked the stables, she groomed the horses, she fed the dirty noisy chickens and the snorting pigs, but stayed away from the cows. She didn't like having to milk them anyway.

She wandered along the outer boundaries of the farm every day when time permitted, poking and prodding at things that caught her eye. There were many of those, ranging from smooth polished multi-hued agate to petrified wood to thin curling branches that had somehow wound themselves into intricate shapes and patterns. Nothing had compared to her initial find of the piece of deep golden amber, but all the other things were still fascinating! The Accepted had asked Naera to place keeping weaves on them all, and to her surprise, the Aes Sedai had agreed to. A small satchel she had sewed together all on her own served as a holding receptacle for them all. She... she wanted to show Dax.

Don't touch the thing! The pretty Cairhienin couldn't help but grin.

Katrie went through stretches every morning and under Iesph's watchful eye, she slowly reacquainted herself with punches and blocks that the Tairen had showed her. All the while, she tried not to fixate on how much she missed him.

She was sitting beneath an apple tree, branches heavy with ripe red fruit. She looked up with a rueful smile as she finished off the last of her bread and hard white cheese. The blooms had indeed become actual apples. It would seem the innkeeper from Baelron all those months ago had been telling the truth after all.

Long, coppery fingers tucked her hair behind her ears as she faced into the distance where she felt Dax to be. If she stopped thinking, she could almost convince herself that they were still together... that they were still free... She pressed as hard as she could against the place where he was in her mind. I'm here, love. Could he feel that? Did he...? She closed her eyes as her head bowed, a hollow pang reverberating in her chest.

"There you are, child."

She did not expect a second figure to join her, the matronly figure of Naera Sedai settling in beside her enough to pull Katrie back from her thoughts.

"Naera Sedai." She hesitated a moment, bowing her head in acknowledgment instead of standing up to curtsey. A pleasant smile answered her, the ageless face unreadable. They had never spoken of what had occurred with Liza; in fact, no one at the farm spoke of it at all.

The Aes Sedai embraced, a soft glow surrounding the other woman. Saidar plucked two apples from the nearest branch, and a small weave of Air floated one of them to the surprised Accepted. Naera smiled. "I am too old to be climbing trees."

Katrie smiled in return, accepting the fruit gratefully. They ate in silence, warm brown eyes returning again and again to the direction where she felt her Warder to be. "I haven't climbed a tree in... well, months."

The older woman made a considering noise. "Do you know why people get sent here, child?"

The tall Cairhienin blinked. "For penance. For punishment."

A soft tut. "True. But why here, of all places? Why a farm, where channeling is kept a minimum? Why a farm, where we do as much as we can without the aid of the Power?"

She shifted, twisting the stem of the eaten apple between her fingers. "To learn humility?"

Naera smiled a little, pleased, digging a small hole into the grass next to her with a dried stick before depositing the remains of her apple. "You start to understand some of it. To learn peace, as well."

The Accepted blinked.

"I admit, when it was first made known to me that you were to be sent here, I did not expect much. A scion from House Riatin, the daughter of the Keeper of the Chronicles, and a runaway at that."

Katrie bristled. No longer Riatin, she wanted to say, but somehow managed to keep her mouth shut. "I'm not like the rest of that House," she answered flatly instead. "And I'd rather people not know who my mama is."

"I know, child," Naera replied warmly. "I have watched you, perhaps a little too closely." The Aes Sedai made a small gesture with her fingers. "A Brown's curiosity, I suppose. You arrived in silence. You did all that was expected of you without complaint or objection. You were quiet. Too quiet. You endured Liza Sedai's actions stoically. I expected some manner of pretense or duplicity and yet in the four months you have been here, you have shown none. I expected you to run. You have not. You show no remorse, no regret... and yet it isn't because you are mired in your own pride or importance." An arched eyebrow. "Do you regret what you have done?"

Take my hand. and. run. "Do I regret running away, you mean?" Katrie glanced at the Aes Sedai curiously.

A nod.

"No," she said simply. "I don't."

"Why?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, Dax's voice whispering in her mind. Katrie, make me whole again...please. "Because I found something that I didn't even know I was looking for."

"And what was that?"

I missed you. I love you. "A home."

"A home apart from the Grey Tower." The Brown's look was shrewd.

Katrie smiled a little, glancing upwards at the brilliant blue sky. "I realized that... people can be home too."

"Your young man." Naera actually chuckled.

"Or woman," the Cairhienin added blithely.

The Aes Sedai tutted again. "Help an old woman stand. There are clothes to be laundered."

"Yes, Naera Sedai."

----

Katrie strode through the Gateway, leaving the farm behind. Her hair bounced around her shoulders, satchel grasped tightly in her hand. Six months. She had been away and apart from Dax for six months. His presence jumped abruptly as she stepped into the Traveling Yards and her awareness crashed together with his. Surprise... then overwhelming relief, guilt, and remorse, chased by fierce joy, brilliant golden light laced through with crimson flaring up behind her eyes. She curled around him, her feet already set on the path that would lead her to him when the familiar, unwelcome figure of the Mistress of Novices stepped forward to block her path.

"Burn me, what could I have possibly done now?" the Accepted asked, the edge to her voice sharp enough to cut. "I just got back!" Light, all she wanted to do was go to Dax. He was nearby. She wanted to see him... Light, she just wanted to hear his voice...

The Mistress of Novices said nothing in reply to the outburst, the imperious gesture to follow causing the blue fringe of her shawl to sway. Why... was Mirin wearing that... oh Light. It couldn't be. Not... they had to have the wrong person. It couldn't... she couldn't be...

Katrie paled, all of the blood draining from her face as she turned ashen beneath the coppery hue of her skin. Once again, mute horror stole away her ability to speak. Dax!! The bond shifted, the Tairen aware of the sudden change to her emotions. Unable to do anything else, she turned away from where the bond said her Warder was, and followed the Blue Aes Sedai towards the Tower.