Aikaterine Riatin
The first time it had happened, she had been in the kitchens, stirring soup. The bond had abruptly stretched, immediately dimming and dwindling with untold distance. She hadn't been awake the second time, sleep guarding her from that soul wrenching moment when Dax had been forced to step through to the Citadel. When she had woken, the bond was once again muffled and subdued, a dull echo of what it should have been.
Katrie twisted her head to stare at the Gateway behind her in silent horror, knowing what was about to happen, knowing that there was nothing she could do to keep it from happening. The farm. She was at the farm. Despair crashed over her in debilitating waves, her stomach heaving and churning.
From the other side of that gateway, the Tairen filled the bond with gold. It thrummed and pulsed even though his guilt and anguish made her want to curl into a ball and sob. No. She couldn't let that be the last thing that she truly felt from him... She swallowed hard, focusing the entirety of her being on the light and warmth, letting it wash over and through her, letting it soothe and comfort her. Her touch against his mind was gentle and deliberate, and his relief ached more than anything else she had felt from him. He loved her... he loved her.
Dax.
The awe and wonder that shattered through her left her wrecked and humbled in its wake. She clung on to him, her vision blurring. Salt and moisture stained her lashes. She bit down on the inside of her cheek. A sharp flare of pain. She tasted blood. Her thoughts descended into pure gibberish as the Gateway rotated shut. Stretching. Dimming. Dwindling. The presence of her Warder, her lover, her husband faded, and the awareness that should have stayed intertwined with hers was yanked cruelly away.
Dax!!
She scrambled for him, the corner of her mind where he still inhabited nothing more than a muted twinge. He was... she squeezed her eyes shut, turning slowly in place as she tried to pinpoint which direction Dax was. North? Or was it South? Her Warder was to the left of her now, but if she turned around, then he was to the right. Light! She didn't know... she could face towards exactly where she felt him, but... she had no idea where she was.
Dax...
Her heart suddenly began pounding against her ribcage, and grey closed in from the very edges of her vision. Katrie struggled to breathe. She did not protest as a matronly Aes Sedai came out to greet her, indicating that she was to follow behind. The was woman brusque and taciturn, but there was no overt disapproval, something which the tall Cairhienin was grateful for. She didn't care what the woman thought of her, so long as it didn't show on the ageless face. A tear slipped down her cheek. A second one. And then a third. After the fifth one, she stopped counting.
----
Three days in and the pretty Cairhienin was positive that it was only a matter of time before the loneliness and the silence drove her mad. It was a coin's toss as to which one would send her over the brink first.
She had already explored every possible inch of the farm, had poked around in every nook and cranny, had even found an abandoned storeroom type room along the basement path that had been blocked by a partial cave in. She had pulled weed after weed after weed, until her fingers ached and her hands cramped. She ate when she was told to, she helped where she was pointed to - if she knew how to - and all the while, she held on to the barely there presence of the man she loved in the corner of her mind.
There was nothing new to see! Nothing new to find! There... wasn't even anyone to talk to. No one spoke here! Everyone - those here by choice anyway - were content to go about their chores and duties in contented silence. The few like her were forbidden from interacting with one another. She was not allowed to use saidar; even those Aes Sedai and Asha'man here rarely used the Power, happy to stick their fingers in the soil, happy to streak and smear themselves with dirt and mud and stains and only Light knew what else.
Katrie paced within the narrow confines of her room, agitated and unsettled, the gloom that filtered in from the bubbled window showing that dawn was still several hours away. She had grown accustomed to having Dax nearby, her constant companion, his physical presence both reassuring and comforting. He... made her feel safe. Had made her feel safe. He wasn't here now and... oh. She crammed her knuckles into her mouth to keep from crying again, the feel of teeth breaking the first layer of skin along her fingers bringing with it some measure of self control.
Her eyes felt gritty and swollen; her body was so tired she ached. But when she tried to lay down and rest, her mind spun and raced out of control. She tossed and turned, every night a battle against herself and her memories. It was almost unbearable to lay down by herself, whatever sleep she did manage to get, fitful and sporadic.
A knock came at her door, startling her out of her private misery. She crossed the room on silent feet, peering out as she eased open the wooden panel. Katrie failed to suppress the gasp that sounded. Even without the winking gold jewels and gems... the perfectly serene ageless face, the chestnut hair piled high atop her head... The Yellow. That woman. That Trolloc-faced harpy. An oath that would have made Dax proud flitted through her head.
"Liza Sedai," she bobbed into a quick curtsey.
"Accepted Aikaterine." Liza's look should have incinerated the tall Cairhienin to ash. "You should rest, child. You look like you need it."
"Then I'd appreciate it if you didn't knock so early, next time." Katrie bowed her head a little, before curtseying again. "I thank you for coming to see me though. Your concern is very much appreciated."
The pastel lips quirked up into a smile that held no trace of warmth and the woman glided away.
The door couldn't shut fast enough. The Accepted spun around, closing her eyes. Light! She dropped her face into her hands, her breathing ragged.
Katrie twisted her head to stare at the Gateway behind her in silent horror, knowing what was about to happen, knowing that there was nothing she could do to keep it from happening. The farm. She was at the farm. Despair crashed over her in debilitating waves, her stomach heaving and churning.
From the other side of that gateway, the Tairen filled the bond with gold. It thrummed and pulsed even though his guilt and anguish made her want to curl into a ball and sob. No. She couldn't let that be the last thing that she truly felt from him... She swallowed hard, focusing the entirety of her being on the light and warmth, letting it wash over and through her, letting it soothe and comfort her. Her touch against his mind was gentle and deliberate, and his relief ached more than anything else she had felt from him. He loved her... he loved her.
Dax.
The awe and wonder that shattered through her left her wrecked and humbled in its wake. She clung on to him, her vision blurring. Salt and moisture stained her lashes. She bit down on the inside of her cheek. A sharp flare of pain. She tasted blood. Her thoughts descended into pure gibberish as the Gateway rotated shut. Stretching. Dimming. Dwindling. The presence of her Warder, her lover, her husband faded, and the awareness that should have stayed intertwined with hers was yanked cruelly away.
Dax!!
She scrambled for him, the corner of her mind where he still inhabited nothing more than a muted twinge. He was... she squeezed her eyes shut, turning slowly in place as she tried to pinpoint which direction Dax was. North? Or was it South? Her Warder was to the left of her now, but if she turned around, then he was to the right. Light! She didn't know... she could face towards exactly where she felt him, but... she had no idea where she was.
Dax...
Her heart suddenly began pounding against her ribcage, and grey closed in from the very edges of her vision. Katrie struggled to breathe. She did not protest as a matronly Aes Sedai came out to greet her, indicating that she was to follow behind. The was woman brusque and taciturn, but there was no overt disapproval, something which the tall Cairhienin was grateful for. She didn't care what the woman thought of her, so long as it didn't show on the ageless face. A tear slipped down her cheek. A second one. And then a third. After the fifth one, she stopped counting.
----
Three days in and the pretty Cairhienin was positive that it was only a matter of time before the loneliness and the silence drove her mad. It was a coin's toss as to which one would send her over the brink first.
She had already explored every possible inch of the farm, had poked around in every nook and cranny, had even found an abandoned storeroom type room along the basement path that had been blocked by a partial cave in. She had pulled weed after weed after weed, until her fingers ached and her hands cramped. She ate when she was told to, she helped where she was pointed to - if she knew how to - and all the while, she held on to the barely there presence of the man she loved in the corner of her mind.
There was nothing new to see! Nothing new to find! There... wasn't even anyone to talk to. No one spoke here! Everyone - those here by choice anyway - were content to go about their chores and duties in contented silence. The few like her were forbidden from interacting with one another. She was not allowed to use saidar; even those Aes Sedai and Asha'man here rarely used the Power, happy to stick their fingers in the soil, happy to streak and smear themselves with dirt and mud and stains and only Light knew what else.
Katrie paced within the narrow confines of her room, agitated and unsettled, the gloom that filtered in from the bubbled window showing that dawn was still several hours away. She had grown accustomed to having Dax nearby, her constant companion, his physical presence both reassuring and comforting. He... made her feel safe. Had made her feel safe. He wasn't here now and... oh. She crammed her knuckles into her mouth to keep from crying again, the feel of teeth breaking the first layer of skin along her fingers bringing with it some measure of self control.
Her eyes felt gritty and swollen; her body was so tired she ached. But when she tried to lay down and rest, her mind spun and raced out of control. She tossed and turned, every night a battle against herself and her memories. It was almost unbearable to lay down by herself, whatever sleep she did manage to get, fitful and sporadic.
A knock came at her door, startling her out of her private misery. She crossed the room on silent feet, peering out as she eased open the wooden panel. Katrie failed to suppress the gasp that sounded. Even without the winking gold jewels and gems... the perfectly serene ageless face, the chestnut hair piled high atop her head... The Yellow. That woman. That Trolloc-faced harpy. An oath that would have made Dax proud flitted through her head.
"Liza Sedai," she bobbed into a quick curtsey.
"Accepted Aikaterine." Liza's look should have incinerated the tall Cairhienin to ash. "You should rest, child. You look like you need it."
"Then I'd appreciate it if you didn't knock so early, next time." Katrie bowed her head a little, before curtseying again. "I thank you for coming to see me though. Your concern is very much appreciated."
The pastel lips quirked up into a smile that held no trace of warmth and the woman glided away.
The door couldn't shut fast enough. The Accepted spun around, closing her eyes. Light! She dropped her face into her hands, her breathing ragged.